Christmas! It’s soon so time to start planning your Hunchback gift list for yourself or  that special gift for the Hunchback fan in your life or a person you want to turn into one.  Between now and christmas I will periodically post gift ideas that are either directly Hunchback related or just inspired  by it. This post is more stuff inspired By Disney’s Esmeralda and Esmeralda’s costume in  Notre Dame de Paris.

A New PC Game

Scarves

Jewelry

The character design in the Jetlag version the Hunchback on Notre Dame is just as lazy and uninspired as the songs and the rest of the execution on this movie.

Esmeralda, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda is probably the most designed character in this version. I think that the designers tried most with her relative the other characters. However the designers are guilty of putting her red and they made her look too sexy. They put her in a strapless corset and a long red skirt with a slit that goes all the way up her leg. Her clothes are just wrong for the time period. But at least she is pretty.

Madoka Ayukawa from Kimagure Orange Road picture image

Madoka Ayukawa from Kimagure Orange Road

However she looks at lot like Madoka Ayukawa from Kimagure Orange Road, a Japanese anime from the 1980s. It actually get a bit detracting because she is the only character in this that has an anime look. It maybe because she is a gypsy and they wanted her to look distinct but the difference of animation style looks more sloppy than stylistic.

Quasimodo, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Quasimodo looks a little more normal that he normally depicted. He has the hunch, a closed eye and a large protrusion over said eye. But he doesn’t read as ugly or deformed as he does in other versions. This one of the few times that he doesn’t have red hair instead he has black hair. The black hair reads more boring but that’s okay because Quasimodo’s look is boring in this version.

Frollo gives an evil smile Jetlag version Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

As I said in the voice acting post, Frollo sounds like Gargamel from the Smurfs and he kind looks like him too. Frollo has more hair though. Frollo has a tonsure which is a nice trait but it’s not gray at all which was a major trait of Frollo’s in the book. He look oldish and austere but not in the some capacity as the book or in the Disney movie. Like Quasimodo his character design is just boring.

Gringoire from the Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Gringoire, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Gringoire’s character design wins the award of the most boring design. His design is like ambien, it’s sleep inducing. Most of the extras have more interesting designs.

Phoebus and Esmeralda,  Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Phoebus and Esmeralda, Jetlag version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Phoebus in this version has a mustache and looks fairy believable as a late medieval soldier. But for some reason he has reddish-pink-brown hair, which looks really silly. Phoebus typically has blond hair to reference his name sake. His hair color in this version seems out of place.

The Duke of Egypt, Jetlag Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Duke of Egypt, Jetlag Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Duke of Egypt looks like a monster. Why does he look like a monster? I have no clue. His design baffles me. If he was the villain I could understand it but he is hardly a side character. So why does he have pointy elf ears, upturn fangs and a general monster look. My guess is he was a left over design from another project and they just went with it. Because while his design is at least interesting it doesn’t fit in to the context of this movie or his “character” (he doesn’t have much one).

Fleur de Lys, Jetlag Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Fleur de Lys, Jetlag Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Fleur de Lys looks old. For some reason she has white hair and a receding hairline. She at least has a henin headdress (the pointy princess hats) so at least they got something right from the period. Her look is cold and austere which is in contrast to Esmeralda’s but Fleur de lys is suppose to look old? Why does this movie has some aversion to blond hair. Blond hair on her would have look worlds better.

Next Jetlag Article – Animation

Phoebus Face Jetlag version Hunchback of Notre Dame

Phoebus Face

What did Peter Panda say to Quasimodo to shock him so?

Quasimodo's Tea Party picture image

Quasimodo’s Tea Party

Picture is from the finale of the first season of South Park

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith picture image

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith

Let’s consider  the Star Wars Prequel for a moment. Before the movies came out everyone wanted to know how Anakin went for being a nobel Jedi knight to an evil jerk called Darth Vader. However the way the “seduction” to dark side occurs in the Prequels was just stupid. Anakin was basically a bad-apple who was tricked into it because he couldn’t stand loss and didn’t have the power to fix his problem. It was lame.

 

Natalie Portman as Padme & Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones picture image

Natalie Portman as Padme & Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones

There was also the his relationship with Padme.  Basically Anakin pressures Padme to giving into him by having a romantic/sexual relationship. But Anakin feels nothing about ignoring the Jedi doctrine  on having romantic attachments. Here is where I think Geogre Lucas should have taken a page from the Hunchback (pardon the pun).

Frollo kissing Esmeralda, Illustration by Nicolas Eustache Maurin picture image

Frollo kissing Esmeralda, Illustration by Nicolas Eustache Maurin

 

Frollo would have been the perfect model in which Anakin could have been seduce by the Dark Side. Frollo starts out as upstanding nobel priest who worked hard to gain respect. However he really couldn’t capture people’s hearts but he maintained good and charitable acts. However once he saw a young girl he was undone and started to commit horrible acts in the pursuit of her.

 

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith picture image

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith

Not that I think Anakin should have done the same same things as Frollo but the torment of love for a women should have been there. He should have had more conflict between his desire for love and and his Jedi training. In Episode II, which was the core of the Love story takes place, there is no conflict for him. He begs for sex and Padme uses her career as an excuse. It was so dull and awkward.  The torment would have added so much drama and sympathy for Anakin just like Frollo

Get the whole Star Wars Saga

The last song in the Jetlag versionis called “Love is Everything.” The best thing about this song is that since it’s the ending song you don’t have to listen to it because it’s terrible.

The song lasts for 2 and half grueling minutes but after the first 5 seconds you’ll be bored enough to turn it off. However, if for some reason you leave it on be prepare for sappy lazy awfulness.

The song is about how Quasimodo is happy that Esmeralda is love with him because love is awesome. Love is so awesome in fact that it can and I quote ”

Love can make a blind man see
Love can set a prisoner free

I’m sorry song but love can not repair vision and I think evidence is more responsible for freeing prisoners. But nice rhyme there, Free and See, Genius! Most of the other lyrics and rhyme scheme seem like the singer is making it up as he goes.

But my annoyance with this song goes even further than the stupid lazy lyrics and sappy nature of a Quasimodo spouting the “greatness of love” it’s the melody of this song that really gets to me. Just listen to it and tell if you think it’s familiar. It’s a Christmas Carol! They use “We Three Kings” for the bulk of the construction of the melody. What utter laziness. And why that song? Did they think no one would notice? Or did they think kids won’t know that song? Because I knew that song as child and it’s not that esoteric of a song. Or did they want their laziness to be recognized?

As for the visual, they’re just scene shots from the movie with static credits. But since the point of interest is being covered with credits there is not much to look. So like the rest of the song the visuals are lazy.

There is nothing good about this song, nothing! It’s just lazy and stupid. Just skip it.

Next Jetlag Article- Character Design

Esmeralda dancing Jetlag Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda dancing Jetlag Hunchback of Notre Dame

As of 8pm on Sunday 11/11/12 the results of the Poll; Which Hunchback Character would you vote for as the leader of your country?

And out of 14 whole votes, Frollo won with 5.   Esmeralda, Clopin, and gringoire got 2. Quasimodo, Djali, and Jehan each got 1. Phoebus, King Louis and Sister Gudule got no votes.

Poll is closed.