All the Hunchback Versions that have been reviewed this past year!
Belle’s Magical World
If one Beauty and the Beast Midquel wasn’t enough, fear not they made a second one called Belle’s Magical World. Belle’s Magical World is different as instead one dumb story, we get four dumb stories.
Crane, LaPlume, and Webster
The aim of each story is someone learns a lesson. Trouble is, it’s pretty much the same the lesson. The first story is Belle and the Beast fight about Beast’s attitude. They both demand apologies, so a meddling pen, stack of paper and a dictionary forge an apology letter to Belle from the Beast. So Belle says she is sorry. But when Beast finds out about the forgery he gets pissed and throws the three meddlers out.
However, they come back as they get lost and Belle lets them in and then Beasts forgives him. A side story deals with Lumiere forgiving a chandelier for outshining him when actually the Chandelier just wanted to be close to him or something. Forgiveness is the lesson here.
Fifi and Lumiere
The second story deals with Fifi, the feather duster, and Lumiere. Lumiere forgets their anniversary, so he ask Belle to help him plan something. But Fifi thinks Belle is moving in on her man. Lumiere makes a sleigh for them. Then Fifi see it was for her. But the sleigh goes crazy and they almost fall off a cliff but it’s ok because Lumiere tells her that he loves her. And then they get saved. Lesson is trust or whatever.
Mrs.Potts and Belle
Third story is Mrs. Potts has Season Affective Disorder (SAD). So the gang excluding Beast, who is napping, decides to throw a party. The hitch is no one can cooperate but in the end they do managed to put on a party and Mrs Potts feels better and then the sun also comes out. Lesson is to work together.
Beast and the bird
The fourth story is Belle finds a wounded bird and wants to care for it. But the Beast hates bird. But then he hears it singing and likes it so he wants to keep it. Belle objects and then he realizes he can keep it prisoner. Lesson is trust and respect.
Beast and Cogsworth
The stories work against the main movie. Beast’s rage pretty much subsides when Belle thanks him for saving her from the wolves. So why is he still so moody. Why does he hate birds so much when in the main movie he tries to feed them? Is meant to be an off-shot? I doubt it. Lumire and Fifi seemed to have more of a sexual flirtation then a significant romance. Lumire and Cogworth have a rivalry that never cleared up so it’s pointless for the to learn to work together only to really forget it. This movie hurts my brain.
Belle and Lumiere
However, I get the point of this movie. This movie was more than likley a pilot for a TV show in the same vein as the Little Mermaid show, where the characters learn stuff. However, the idea of a midquel show is stupid, especailly for Beauty and the Beast. First, you have a small window for the show to take place in, a few weeks, tops. Sidenote the season changes are all over the place in this movie. Second, Beauty and the Beast is localized to the Beast’s castle so the stories and characters are limited which makes it boring.
Belle and the Beast
And yes this movie is dull. There can only be new insights to side characters but even then the movie doesn’t add much and it only confuses. Belle and the Beast can’t grow in the movie, they can only stay in an awkward friendship or go backwards and be angry with each other. I guess the people in-charge knew the idea of a show was a dud but package it as a movie to make a quick buck.
I have no positives for Belle’s Magical World
The Twelve Days of Christmas is boring Christmas song. Let’s Jazz it up; Hunchback style!
On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Gypsy a dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Kings Condemning
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Twelve Soldiers Drinking
Eleven Kings Condemning
Ten Thieves a leaping
Nine Gypsies Dancing
Eight Ladies a Prattling
Seven Priests Obsessing
Six Nuns a Yelling
Five Gold Bells
Four Boring Poets
Three White Goats
Two Gargoyles
A Hunchback of Notre Dame
Did you know Quasimodo was in a Christmas special from the 1980’s? He was in the Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas Celebration which aired in 1987. That’s right Quasimodo is made of clay here.
Quasimodo from Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas Celebration
In it Quasimodo, who has a Beethoven vibe going on which is disconcerting, is conducting choir bells who are performing Carol of the Bells and one dumb bell (ha get it) is making him mad for not taking it seriously. Quasimodo wins in the end though.
You can watch it here it’s the second song in;
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xmtd8o_california-raisins-claymation-christmas_shortfilms
Follow thehunchblogIt’s theHunchblog third year of reviewing Hunchback versions. And for the occasion I have decided to release my very first Hunchback eBook.
The Hunchback &
The Tales of Christmas
I have been wanting to write something Hunchback related for a while but I never had any good ideas. Over the last few months, I have thought up a few good ideas but with the Holidays coming, I decided to write a short Christmas Story centered around Quasimodo. Then I decided to write two more short stories about Frollo and Phoebus. I call it very simply, The Hunchback & The Tales of Christmas. I’m very happy I finally wrote an eBook.
You can get for $0.99 by clicking the button below or the picture above;
I hope you guys enjoy it ^^ and please continue to support theHunchblog in 2014.
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Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas
In the crappy world of direct-to-video Disney videos, Beauty and the Beast is the one title where a sequel is out-right rejected because to have a sequel work people need to accept the Beast’s human form which they do not, so much the moral about Beauty being found within.
But Disney is never one to say no when it comes to making a quick buck and so the midquel was born. What the fuck is a Midquel you ask? A Midquel is a stupid story that happens during the first story. It really doesn’t work with Beauty and Beast but it works better than a sequel because at least the Beast is a beast so we have Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas. Just in time for Christmas.
Human forms of Mrs.Potts, Chip, Sultan the dog ottoman, Lumiere and Cogsworth
This admonition errr story starts one year later on Christmas. Everyone is remembering what happen but somehow Chip doesn’t remember, even though Chip was major character so the Enchanted Christmas is told as a flash-back to people who should remember it.
Belle decorates the Mock Christmas tree
So the story proper, starts the day after the Beast saves Belle from the wolves which is Christmas eve but before Beast gives her the library. Which would make the day she entered the Castle December 23rd. Belle decides to celebrate Christmas but the Beast forbids because he got transformed on Christmas appartently. But Belle doesn’t really care that much, so she is going to have Christmas anyway because it’s awesome.
There is also a evil organ who likes the curse because now the Beast appreciates his emo music so he tries to get rid of Belle and when that fails he tries to kill everyone. That is pretty much the plot.
Forte, the Evil Emo Organ
The movie’s new characters are really jarring and boring, which an impressive combination. We have the evil organ, Forte, played by Tim Curry, who is evil and emo. He also have some kind of magic musical power that is never explained but it can bring down the house, literally.
Angelique, an angel played by Bernadette Peters who does nothing, there was no point to her character. Fife, Forte’s piccolo minion, who tells Beast about the source of Forte’s magic because Forte is a jerk and didn’t give poor little Fife a solo, you know he’s the reformed former baddie. And finally a jewish Axe which is painful to watch. I don’t get the thought process on that one at all.
These characters are forgettable. You would think Tim Curry as evil emo organ who be interesting but alas no. The CG work on him looks like it belongs in a different movie.
Belle and the Beast Ice Skating
This movie is fanfic-y and it pretty much shits all over the first one. Belle’s personality is completely destroyed. She basically wants to make the Beast happy and she is kind of doormat in a lot of ways. All her feistiness, charm and individualism are gone. It’s like he saved her the wolves and now she wants to make him happy? What happen to the nice slow progression of understanding and kindness? Why did you mess that up Disney? They also ruined the famous dance scene because they show Belle and the Beast in their formal dubs before the library scene. It’s just so wrong.
Msr.Potts, Cogsworth, Lumiere, Fife and Angelique,
Then we have the cliche as fuck Christmas story. How many Christmas stories are about someone who hates Christmas trying to stop it and then get shown how awesome the holiday is? Pretty much all of them. Beast is our Scrooge, our Grinch who tries to fight the spirit of Christmas who in this case is Belle. And along with her friends and a Jewish Axe, show Beast the error of his ways before the evil emo organ can use his satanic musical powers to kill them all.
It’s been done to death. I think Disney just wanted to have a Christmas movie and Beauty and the Beast already had snow in it.
Chip in a wreath
Besides blatantly ruining the first one, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas
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Madeline as Phoebus and Pepito as Quasimodo
What can I saw about the Madeline episode that features a meager attempt to reference the Hunchback of Notre Dame? It’s a lazy, confused mess that would rather talk about writing even though the people who wrote it don’t know the first thing about writing. It’s not charming, cute or insightful. It is weak and torture to watch and I didn’t care for it on any level.
Next Hunchback version after a short Winter Break. If you have a suggestions, let me know because I haven’t made up my mind yet.
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