Anti-Hypothetical Casting Post for Fleur de Lys; Britney Spears

This was a suggestion by Roman. I suppose for this suggestion to make sense we are going to have to posit that this casting would have to occur in the early 2000s, like after 2002 with Spears’ film debut in Crossroads but before she gave up her dream to be a film actress because Spears had the good sense to not pursue that path.

 

Spears did have enough influence prior to her break-down that she COULD have play rich-bitch Fleur de Lys though it might have depended on the style of Hunchback. Like if it was all star cast for a teenage MTV demographic. So maybe Justin Timberlake as Quasimodo, Freddie Prinze Jr as Phoebus, Shannon Elizabeth or Eliza Dushku  as Esmeralda, Ashton Kutcher as Gringoire and Paul Rudd as Frollo. You know, a 90s/2000s teen comedy take on Hunchback. That sounds abysmal and yet I would have to watch that train-wreck of an idea while at the same time cursing the heaven for allowing to exist.

 

So Britney Spears as Fleur de Lys? Well that best I can say for that idea is at least she’s blonde. Fleur de Lys has long been cast as blonde to counter Esmeralda’s dark hair, however it’s mentioned in the book that she has blonde hair and that she wears sky-blue.   So Britney Spears fits that important hair color criteria.

 

As for acting, well Crossroads was nominated for a lot awards, mostly Razzies of which Spears herself won worst actress and worst song.  But is playing a jealous bitch all that hard? Could Spears have pulled it off? As far as Fleur de Lys goes in other versions, I often find her delightful. I think there is an art to making a unlikable character come off as interesting and in some way likable. Whether it was a case of the acting other characters or just her actresses, Fleur de Lys would have been out of Spear’s range as an actress. That isn’t saying much  as her other film rolls were a Flight attendant in Longshot which was a cameo, in the music video “Boys” in  Austin Powers in Goldmember, a cameo in  Pauly Shore is Dead and finally a cameo in Fahrenheit 9/11. She also had a cameo on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.   Not sure if you noticed a pattern. She did cameo as herself, not acting.  She can’t act and didn’t try after Crossroads.

However not being able to act hasn’t stopped other would be actors. To be fair she did fake the world with her early days innocent act.  Maybe Spears could have played Fleur as herself? Like if there was a case to cast Spears as Fleur de Lys, then the project would have been less about the characters and plot and more about the notoriety of the casting so it wouldn’t have mattered if she could act or not. The name would have been enough.

 

Fortunately, Spears hasn’t been in a movie in since 2004 even as cameo and I don’t think any studio would take a depressing book and make a rom-com for teenagers using former “it” celebrities. But the idea of it is super cringe-inducing.

But what do you think? Could you stomach the idea of Britney Spears in a version of Hunchback?