Esmeralda meets Phoebus Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda meets Phoebus

Unlike some of the other knock-off versions, this version actually has a voice casts listed. Meaning I can actually look up the people who voiced the characters though I can’t say who voiced which character saved for Gennie Nevinson as Esmeralda.  Now you might think that these people are just nameless no one but no,  they all have fairly decent resumes. They are not big stars but Lee Perry has been in Happy Feet and Mad Max Fury Road and Gennie Nevinson was in Muriel’s Wedding. That being said I don’t think the shitty voice’s in this movie is all the fault of the voice actors. Some director told them to speak a certain way, they compiled and got paid but I’m not letting this version get any with it. They need to be held accountable for the bad voices.

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

Except for Quasimodo and Frollo, everyone speaks with the most fakey French accent ever.  It just so bad to listen to. There is nothing subtle about it and it’s type of affectation that should be used in comedy sketches not in a sentimental children story based on a tragic book/movie.

Quasimodo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo with his doves

As mention before, Quasimodo is allergic to pronouns. He doesn’t speak with any accent persay but speaks as though he has extreme mental deficiencies. Okay, knock-off children movie versions Hunchback listen up because you need to this straight because whenever you  make Quasimodo deaf you always get this wrong accept wrong; Quasimodo should speak fairly normally, he went deaf at 14, he knew how to speak.  Plus deaf people don’t speak that way! Deaf people understand pronouns and can form complex sentences. What the fuck were you doing movie??? This is a travesty. You should be ashame screenwriter and voice directors.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Sadly Frollo is the best voice in this movie, actually is that really that sad? Anyway, since he is a villain he has a British-ish accent. I have to admit I do like his delivery on a few lines especially the one describing Esmeralda’s eyes. It’s a low bar though everyone else is bad which makes this performance seem better.

Frollo tries to cover Esmeralda's face Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo tries to cover Esmeralda’s face

Honestly most of the voice acting in Hunchback Knock-offs are not even worth discussing but this one is just so wretched and downright offensive that it needs to be called out for it vile voice acting.

 

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiktskin & Dylan Schmidt as Baelfire ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Return picture image

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiktskin & Dylan Schmidt as Baelfire

Episode 19: The Return

The title of this episode made me think of a Japanese movie called “The Returner.” Which I recall not liking.

So far this might be my favorite episode. The Fairy Tale world plotline follows everyone’s favorite “evil” manipulator, Rumpelstiktskin and his son Baelfire. Though who thinks it’s a little funny to hear Rumpelstiktskin calling his son “Bae”? Baelfire doesn’t like that his Papa has become the Dark One and can see him losing his humanity. Baelfire strikes a deal with Rumpelstiktskin that if can find a way to make him normal again without killing him,  Rumpelstiktskin will return to his old self. Baelfire learns from the Blue Fairy that the only way for Rumpelstiktskin to be normal is to go to a world without magic using the last magic bean ever. Rumpelstiktskin agrees to go but as a green vortex opens he chickens out and Baelfire falls in and the Vortex closes. Rumpelstiktskin instantly regrets not following his son. The Blue Fairy shows up and berates him. Rumpelstiktskin then learns the only way to go to the Land without magic is through a powerful curse. Thus revealing Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiktskin motivations for the whole thing.

In Storybrooke, Mr.Gold is growing suspicious of August. He suspects that August is after the knife that can kill/control Rumpelstiktskin making him think that August is Baelfire. Mr.Gold confronts August  and August says he is his son but after Mr.Gold shows him the knife which can’t control him without magic he knows August isn’t his son. Turns out August is dying and he needs to speed things up to get Emma to be the savior.

While that is going on Mary Margaret exonerated as Kathryn isn’t dead and the lab report of the heart MUST have been falsified. Regina fears everything is going to tie back to her so she uses Sidney love for her to get him to confess which Emma doesn’t believes and Emma vows to take back her son from Regina. Also Mary Margaret and David are still off even though David tries to get Mary Margaret to forgive him for doubting her.

This may be the first episode where I don’t prefer one plot over the other.  I will say I was hoping that August was Baelfire as it would make perfect sense why he could come into town as he would have been in the world without magic pre-curse but he is still of the story world. However he is not so give me another reason show. I really enjoy Carlyle duel performance, still think he is the best actor on this show, not that the other principal actor aren’t good because they are at least competent.

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan & Eion Bailey as August Booth ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Stranger picture image

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan & Eion Bailey as August Booth

    

Episode 20: The Stranger

Well, Well, Well the question from the last episode is answered.

I hate Pinocchio. I saw this casting on wiki so I wasn’t surprised by August being Pinocchio but I was confused by August claiming he was Baelfire. Well Pinocchio is a liar so it does fit.

In this episode we learn that Geppetto makes a deal with the Blue Fairy that  Pinocchio is to go  through the wardrobe with pregnant Snow as the wardrobe can fit two people which is why the Blue Fairy told everyone that only one can pass through. However Snow goes into labour early and the Blue Fairy wants Snow and the Baby to go through together. Geppetto being a desperate parent maintains the lie that only one can go through and makes Pinocchio promise to protect the Baby. But he is a seven year old child and can’t.

In Storybrooke, Regina is up to her shenanigans by trying to seduce David, which fails. August tries to convince Emma of the fairy tale reality which also fails. This means because August couldn’t keep his promise to help Emma he turning back into wood. He tries to show Emma his wooden leg but she can’t see it.  At the end Emma tries to leave Storybrooke with Henry as she has had with it.

It seems that Emma’s super lie detector power is thwarted by her own denial. She doesn’t want to believe any of it nor does she want to help. All and all I did like this episode. I do think it was overly simplistic to have August know about the fairy tale world because went through the wardrobe, also now I have to wonder about Baelfire and who is Dr.Whale? Also if the Blue Fairy knew about the tree then why didn’t she tell Rumpelstiktskin? Because then the curse wouldn’t have happen and there wouldn’t have no show. It’s all very tidy except for the whole lying thing Geppetto made the Blue fairy tell so her would make the wardrobe. Sorry for nitpicking, I did like the episode and I do like the show.    

Gigi Radics picture image

Gigi Radics

Gigi Radics for Esmeralda was a suggestion made by Christine (see suggestion here) and it’s a great choice. Gigi Radics is a Hungarian pop singer who is also Romani in decent. In a time where Hollywood keeps whitewashing it’s roles,  it would be a great to cast an actual Romani for one of the most well known Romani characters even if in the book she was just raised by the Romani and is really French. Esmeralda’s backstory is more a mute point anyway given movie versions make her a full Romani. Hey, if a movie version wants to go with her original backstory that’s great but if they are going to stick to film tradition for the character and thus simplify the the plot than why not cast someone who would be authentic for a change. It would also be a great PR move but the real question is would Gigi Radics REALLY be a good choice for Esmeralda? 

A note – I have seen her credited as Radics Gigi but I’m going with Gigi Radics.

Gigi Radics picture

Gigi Radics

First off, let’s just define the role of Esmeralda where Gigi Radics would be an appropriate casting choice. Since she is a singer it would  most likely be a musical and one where Esmeralda is a full Romani in origins. This mean either a Disney Live-Action version where she would sing (maybe none of the Live action versions have been musicals yet) or the Disney Musical Stage Show version or a Notre Dame de Paris version or even a whole new musical version.

 

Gigi Radics picture image

Gigi Radics

Radics is a very skill singer and sings both in Hungarian and English. She has a very strong yet tender voice which would be suitable for Esmeralda.  She came in third in A Dal 2013.  A Dal is The Hungarian Contest to see who performs at Eurovision. She also competed in A Dal 2014 but she didn’t places as high. She is also on the short list A Dal 2017.  

 

Gigi Radics as Hajasbabák, A Játékkészítő picture image

Gigi Radics as Hajasbabák, A Játékkészítő

The real question is can she act?  She hasn’t done that much acting. The only thing I have found is she was in a Hungarian musical called A JátékkészítÅ‘ which I think means “The Game Creator” or “The Toy Marker,” I do not have any command of Hungarian. All I can say is seeing clips of the musical broke my mind a bit, it was so strange. It was like weird combination of “The Nutcracker,” “Adventure Time,” “The Never=ending Story” and weird pop music. It’s all over the place and a type of weird I’m not used to.

Radics plays Hajasbabák which means “Hairy Baby.” Her costume looks like a cross between Katy Perry and Princess Bubblegum.  Hajasbabák’s character is pretty, confident, enthusiastic and a bit silly and yeah, Radics communicated those characteristics in Hajasbabák’s song Babaház Soul (Dollhouse Soul). Just so we’re are all super clear, I might be addicted to Babaház Soul, it’s just so weird yet a lot of fun. I don’t know what she is singing or why she singing it but I like it.

 

While we’re on this subject let’s discuss Radics’ dancing. With regards to Notre Dame de Paris for whatever reason most of the Esmeralda have very mechanical movements during Bohemienne  so  much so that it is annoying and really distracting. Radics during Babaház Soul has some fairly basic moves and struts around a lot but she owns it and looks natural. It could be that up-tempo dance moves are easier than whatever they make Notre Dame de Paris’ Esmeraldas but do but I think Radics could perform a dance if needed.          

   

Gigi Radics picture image

Gigi Radics

Then there is her looks, does Gigi Radics look the part? Her look is like text-book Esmeralda. She has the big dark almond-shaped eyes and long dark hair Esmeralda has in the book. She is very pretty with a lovely smile that is captivating. She also still quite young which is a perk, it would be weird to have an Esmeralda in her 40’s but heck if they can cast Quasimodo with 40 year olds why not Esmeralda? Though it is nice that Radics is in a very good age range for Esmeralda. 

 

Gigi Radics picture image

Gigi Radics

All round, I think this is a good casting pick. It would be awesome to see her play Esmeralda in some version. It would be great if was musical since Radics is a singer but it’s not necessary . But what do you think? Would be a good choice for Esmeralda. Also she just released a new song.

 

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

I feel like I’m in some weird ring of hell. A Ring of Hell where my sole torture is rewatching this version of Hunchback. I can’t tell you in how many ways I just loathe this version and it’s not even in a logical, it’s visceral, it strikes me down to my core. I hate everything about this version and it hurts my soul in so many ways that I’m not sure I can quantify anymore why it’s a puke stain on the already dirty carpet of Hunchback version aimed at children. I think the main reason I can’t articulate why it’s terrible is because it has the same problems as every other  Disney knock-off versions, at this point it’s a case of “second verse same of the first.”  Everything is just the worst but you came here to read something that in some way resembles a review or you just click on a picture or you’re lost and have already clicked away but whatever the case the subject line has spoken and it’s not even trying to be clickbait so let’s get this over with.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo, Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame 1996 picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo,

As is standard with these knock-off Disney direct to video movies the animation super low budget. The use of repeat animation for extras to pad out the run time is beyond annoying and I might not have minded it so much if the movie didn’t start that way. It takes nearly three minutes to get to Esmeralda awkwardly dancing about, three minutes of just nothing but random town’s people laughing and clapping on repeat.  In addition to animation being stilled, awkward and mostly on repeat  most of the shots are at flat angles.  There is nothing interesting or memorable about the way the shots are composed to even hold a remote sense of attention.

 

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

But again I’m not done, though I wish I was, this will never end. There is the color design of this thing. If you think I was joking about calling this movie being like puke you were wrong. The color this movie most likes to use is a weird dark yellow color that resembles vomit. They also use a  green that looks like another shade of puke. I’m not kidding this movie has an ugly and all-round unpleasant color palette. If they were trying I guess they were trying to make it warm but they failed, they failed hard.

Esmeralda meets Phoebus Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda meets Phoebus

Then there is the character design. Can you believe I didn’t really touch in the character designs yet? Both Phoebus and Esmeralda are drawn to be the prettiest that the shitty animation will allow. This of course gives them no visual interest so being “beautiful” by this movie’s standard is a mute point. Though the best line in this movie is Frollo describing Esmeralda’s eyes as “shining brighter than the most beautiful stars in the night sky.”  Too bad they don’t.

Quasimodo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo with his doves

Quasimodo is your typical cute, nice, deformed design that you see over and over again. He is very bulbous and round making him “cute.” Which is like standard in character design round is good and angles are bad.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Speaking of angles there is Frollo. And he is yet another case of “second verse same as the first. Agian he looks like a mix of Disney Gaston and Jafar. Why? Who are they even coping at this point? This  is like the third Frollo to look like this? He doesn’t look like either Disney Frollo or the 1939 version.  Is this a case of parallel thought between three stupid Disney Knock-off versions, where they combined  two popular Disney villains or did this version copy Secret of the Hunchback of Enchanted Tales? Both options scream laziness.  Though to be fair this version did take Frollo’s design beyond merely combining Gaston and Jafar and instead cross that combination with a fish.   

             

Esmeralda Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda

This version is just entirely forgettable with its abysmal animation, boring flat angles, cringe-inducing color palette and lazy character design.  The only thing I can recall about this movie is how forgettable this version is and that is why I have to rewatch it thus prolonging the torture of the ring of hell I now occupy.

Episode 17: Hat Trick

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan & Sebastian Stan as Jefferson ABC's Once Upon a Time, Hat Trick picture image

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan & Sebastian Stan as Jefferson

Emma and Mr Gold find that Mary Margaret has escaped and Emma needs to find by 8 A.M or they are screwed. While Emma is looking for Mary Margaret, she meets a guy named Jefferson,  who is apparently hurt. Emma takes him back to his house where he gives her some delicious tea but it turns out to be deadly poison.  Actually it’s just a roofie. Emma escapes from her restrainments and finds Mary Margaret in the house and tied up. As Emma and Mary Margaret try to escape Jefferson threaten them  with a gun and makes Emma tie Mary Margaret back up and then demands Emma makes a hat that works. Turns out Jefferson knows about the dual worlds and that he is a fairy tale character and he wants Emma to make a hat because she has magic and the hat will enable him to go home. Emma does make a hat but she knocks him out as she just thinks he is crazy. Mary Margaret, freed by Emma, helps defeat Jefferson who along with his hat is knock-out the window but he vanishes. Also Mary Margaret gets back in time but that wasn’t part of the plan cooked up by Regina and Mr. Gold, who surprise, are working together. Oh Mr.Gold playing both sides.    

In the fairy Tale world Jefferson lives with his daughter, Grace. Grace is also in Storybrooke but is called Paige and has a different family and doesn’t know Jefferson. Jefferson wants to live a peaceful humble  life but that darn Evil Queen wants him to take her to Wonderland via his magic hat. Jefferson at first says no but wants a better life for his daughter so he agrees. Before they enter Wonderland Jefferson tells the Queen that the same number of people who enter must leave together, rule of the hat. They enter Wonderland so the Evil Queen can take something that the Queen of Hearts stole. They get it back and it turns out it’s her father, Henry. Since it’s now three people the Queen makes it so Jefferson can’t leave. Jefferson gets captured by the Queen of Hearts and she takes his head, it’s what she does. He is fine  though and is told that he will have to make another hat to get out of wonderland which drives him mad. Mad Hatter, it’s not subtle.

  

Again, what happened to Emma’s lie detection? Jefferson was faking his injury which is a lie. Can she only spot when people say lies and not fakers? It’s just irritating. Also I love that his name is Jefferson, nice little reference to Jefferson Airplanes. I had a good laugh at that one. I do like that Jefferson is half mad for knowing the truth. I did like this episode. The Storybrooke parts were better than the fairytale plot.

Episode 18: The Stable Boy

Lana Parrilla as Regina & Noah Bean as Daniel ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Stable Boy picture image

Lana Parrilla as Regina & Noah Bean as Daniel

Mary Margaret asking Regina what she ever did to make her hate her so much is like what Esmeralda said to Frollo when she was in jail for murder. I’m sure it was unintentional but it made me chuckle.  So this episode reveals why Regina hates Snow White a.k.a Mary Margaret. Regina in the Fairy Tale world was in love with a stable boy named Daniel, but her Mother, Cora, wants Regina to aim higher in status. One day Regina saves a little girl from a runaway horse. The girl is Snow White and her father asks Regina to marry him which her mother says agrees. Regina asks Daniel to  marry her and Snow sees them kissing. Regina begs Snow not to say anything as her mother wouldn’t understand. Snow does tell Cora since she wants Regina to be happy and have a relationship with her mother. Cora then takes Daniel’s heart and crushes into dust. Regina finds out Snow told her mother and that her mother was behind the whole thing of Snow’s Horse going wild so Regina could get the attention of the King.

Apparently this whole murder/missing person plot was all Mr. Gold’s doing really just to get Mary Margaret out of Storybrooke since the curse can’t left them leave so she will die I guess. Emma talks to August about approaching the case differently which causes Emma to return to the place where the heart was found. They find a shard from the shovel the was used to bury the heart. Emma breaks into Regina’s garage and indeed the shard matches her shovel. However Sidney planted a bug in Emma’s office so Regina is able to switch out the shovel before Emma can lawfully confirm the match. Also Regina confesses to Mary Margaret that she knows she didn’t kill Kathryn. The episode ends with it being revealed to Emma, August and Ruby that Kathryn is alive.   

First off, I’m not shocked. This why I have been trying to watch and episode and then write the posts instead of binging watching a bunch then writing. I will admit between episodes  7-13 I was binge watching it, which is more fun since this show is REALLY watchable but I did ask back in episode 16 if Kathryn was really dead. Full disclosure I did watch/wrote my assessment of  episode 16  Heart of Darkness the day before I watched/wrote this one, so it was fresh in my head.

I did really enjoy this episode, Barbara Hershey is like the perfect casting for Regina ambitious mother. Bailee Madison, young Snow, matched Ginnifer Goodwin’s inflections perfectly, easily one of the better child actor in the show.  I don’t know how I feel about the reason for Regina’s evilness  and her bitterness towards Snow. I mean tragic love is it? That is only reason really for her cruelty? She isn’t mad at her mother?  Snow was well intentioned and a child. I did like the episode but does seem too simplistic even for a fairy tale.   

Bailee Madison as Young Snow White, ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Stable Boy picture image

Bailee Madison as Young Snow White

With  the new production in Paris of Notre Dame de Paris there has been updates to the costumes. These changes range from fairly minor to a near complete overall, though still in the spirit of the original designs. This also marks the first time the costumes have really been altered aside from minor variations in Esmeralda’s and Fleur-de-Lys’ costumes and of course the Italian version. So let’s start with Esmeralda’s main costume in the 2016/2017 production.     

 

Helene Segara as Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris

Helene Segara as Esmeralda from Notre Dame de Paris

It seems like the evolution of the costume has some full-circle in some ways. As you had the first generation of the green dress, which if you recall was made from a patterned velvet that was sewn to give it a patchworked look and sported asymmetrical sleeves. The caveat with costume is it didn’t move to showcase Esmeralda as a dancer. Though to be fair, the original production didn’t have Esmeralda dancing as much as subsequent versions.

Lola Ponce as Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Lola Ponce as Esmeralda Notre Dame de Paris

Italian version has been the only version to really deviate from the original style. The Italian version uses a lighter fabric and the pattern is made from lace though it it keeps the patchwork like pattern. The silhouette was the same of the original.  

 

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda 2016/2017 Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda

Now in 2016, the production seems to have gotten the movement memo and has created an Esmeralda costume that has the basic elements of the original and the movement of the Italian version but it’s all together very different.

Just a bit of background, I first saw this dress at like 2am one night after a few too many weird videos on youtube (more on that next week) and my powers of critical thinking were out. I had no idea how to feel about this new design and to be honest I still don’t. Parts of it I like and other parts I’m confused by.

To be clear this dress is lovely to watch. It’s prettier in motion and I do applaud the production the innovation in changing things up. I for one was getting tired of the newer versions of the costume, with the higher hems and less embellishments.  They just didn’t look visually pleasing.

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda & Jay as Clopin 2016/2017 Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda & Jay as Clopin

Ok, so the actual dress, there is A LOT going on with this costume. First it does hit all the basic components of the original with the color, neckline, basic silhouette, sleeves and slit. Thank you for getting the slit right, looks way better on an actual seam. Honestly, I’m not sure what the first you notice about this costume is  but for me it was the pattern or lack of one. They just nixed the pattern or any attempt at mimicking one. There is a little ombre as it’s a darker green on the bodice and a lighter green on the bottom. The patchwork pattern is now done with seams along the bodice and speaking of these seams they do an interesting asymmetrical overlay over one breast. This fabric overlay starts over the breast on one side goes around the back and ends under the breast on the other side of the bodice. This overlay is where a lot of the costume’s movement comes from and where the sparkly embellishments live. Instead of having sequins or beads sewn on the dress this version has them  in the overlay. I can’t really tell if it’s an insert or a lining. It also matches very closely do it’s harder to see. There also COULD be some sparkle elements on the dress itself but it hard to really tell. There is also ANOTHER overlay at the seam at her waist. 

But wait, there is more. All the edges of the costume are very much ragged. This is of course done on purpose to make Esmeralda look more like she lives on the streets. Most of the other versions did this element to an extent but the 2016/2017 version  has the edges look more frayed and distressed.   

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda 2016/2017 Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda singing Vivre

Then there are the sleeves. There HAS to be two  different versions of the costume because one has shorter, more distressed sleeves and the other has longer less distressed sleeves. The shorter one reaches, at the longest, mid upper arm, just above the elbow. The shorter version also has three layer of fabric. The longer one reaches just past her elbows with no layering. Another theory is that the sleeves were hemmed after the preview of the show as in the picture Esmeralda shouldn’t be wearing the green dress during Vivre.

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda 2016/2017 Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda

 

 That really should bring us to the  prisoner costume but I found so very little pictures of it so I will have to hold off on complaining about it but I what I can make out is it  seems to have an A-line silhouette and looks to made of a lacey burlap.  

 

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda 2016/2017 Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Hiba Tawaji as Esmeralda

I just find that bodice overlay really baffling from a design stand-point. It took me a while to figure it out and while in motion I understand it, in pictures it just looks weird and somewhat awkward. I guess it was a good compromise in adding movement while holding true to the original but it just a weird mix-bag for me. I don’t hate, I’m just not sure I like it. I really don’t know how to feel.

But what do you guys think of this costume? Like it? Hate it? No opinion? Like the disney costume better?

 

King Henry Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

King Henry

This King is based on the 1939 version of King Louis  but he is King Henry. My mind wants to do mental loops to make sense of it but the process isn’t worth it. Why did this version not set the story in 1482? Did they REALLY not even look at the book? Did they just guess the year but fact  check the monarch?   I mean they were off by 117 years! The Printing Press is not all that minding blowing at that point like it was in 1482 when the damn story was set and it wasn’t a huge thing in book. The 1939 version made it a big deal to cast a theme of modernity.

Anyway off on a tangent but that year thing is just so stupid. The King in this version named Henry and is really just Louis from the 1939 version. He like modern things, pretty girls and taking baths. There isn’t too much to him even though the animators and the screenwriter seem to like him more than the main characters.     

Padre Jean-Paul Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Padre Jean-Paul

Padre Jean-Paul is the good virtuous priest that is often seen in Hunchback versions that have a non-priest Frollo. Like in the 1939 version when Frollo confesses that Esmeralda is innocent and wants forgiveness, the Priest doesn’t give Frollo absolution till he admits Esmeralda’s innocence.  For some reason this version uses Spanish when addressing him. There is no reason for it and asking for logic is futile so whatever, just call him Padre even though he works in the most iconic Cathedral in France.

There is also a Judge and an Archdeacon person but they are authoritarian types who don’t matter but they get a stupid honorable mention.  

Clopin Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin

Clopin does nothing in this version, if they hadn’t said his name no one would have known it was him   I have to mention him howver because just look at this guy. He looks like Disney’s Phoebus.  It’s uncanny.

The Juggler Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The Juggler

This version spends a lot of animation on this nameless Juggler. At first thought that it was to pad out the run time with repeat animation but that is too logical. After watching this version a few times too many I figured it all out, the Juggler is behind it all. He is the Palpatine of this version. He is the one who cursed Quasimodo with his deformity and inability to use pronouns. He is the one who bewitched Frollo into being obsessed with Esmeralda. He the one who is behind people being mean to the Gypsy, sowing the seeds of hostility even though the King seems like he progressive type. And arguably the most evil thing he is behind are those fake French accents the character use. Surely this is the face of all evil.  

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Meghan Ory as Red Riding Hood ABC's Once Upon a Time, Red-Handed picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White & Meghan Ory as Red Riding Hood

Episode 15: Red-Handed

Red gets an episode! Red a.k.a Little Red Riding doesn’t like being locked inside with granny when there is a wolf on the prowl. She also longs to run off with her bae, Peter. After a wolf attack Red meets Snow White but Snow introduces herself as Mary though first as Margaret. Red decides that if she can catch the wolf while it sleeps she and Peter can run off together. Red proves a great tracker and finds that the wolf’s track turn into a human and leads to her window which makes her think that Peter is the wolf, also Peter and the wolf, so cute. Red goes to Peter to ties him up so he can hurt anyone but TWIST it’s Red who is the wolf, it’s a family trait.

The Storybrooke plot still continues the hunt for Kathryn. While Emma investigates, Ruby quits her job at Granny’s and stays with Emma and Mary Margaret. Ruby then gets a job working with Emma because she has good phone skills. As Emma assistant she gets grilled cheese and helps in search for the lovely the Kathryn, one of those is important to the plot. Turns out David has been sleepwalking again and can’t confirm his whereabouts. Ruby then finds a box with a human heart in it and inside the box are fingerprints belonging to Mary Margaret. It’s Once Upon a Time; CSI.

This episode was pretty good. The werewolf angle is typical for Little Red Riding adaptations but it’s nice that Red is the wolf and her hood is a magical article that controls her transformation. The cloaks in this episode were real pretty.

 

Ginnifer Goodwin as Mary Margaret & Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan ABC's Once Upon a Time, Heart of Darkness picture image

Ginnifer Goodwin as Mary Margaret & Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan

Episode 16: Heart of Darkness

Snow White has become a Grade C Biatch since she has forgotten love. The Dwarves stage an intervention with Jiminy. It ends with Snow White saying she has to kill the Queen, pretty standard intervention. Grumpy takes Snow to Rumpelstiktskin to fix her but Rumpelstiktskin hasn’t been able to bottle love yet and instead of helping Snow’s new bitch attitude he enables her to murder the Queen with a good shooting location and an arrow that always finds its target.

James/Charming shows up at Rumpelstiktskin’s place and exchanges his cloak for intel on Snow’s plan and that true love kiss on the lips cures curses or the potion Snow took. James/Charming finds Snow and plants a kiss on her but since Snow isn’t herself the kiss doesn’t work. Snow ties him up and he begs her not to kill the Queen. Jiminy helps his escape and James/Charming blocks the arrow that Snow fired at the Queen. James/Charming declares his love for her, they kiss and BOOM Snow White remembers and isn’t a jerk anymore. But that ass-hat king turns up and takes James/Charming away leaving Snow vowing she will find him. Rumpelstiktskin then extracts a piece of James/Chamring’s hair from his cloak and bottles it with Snow White’s hair thus making a True Love potion, I guess love is stored in the hair.

In Storybrooke Mary Margaret is being questioned and in turns out that the box the heart was found in was Mary Margaret’s jewelry box. Emma investigates if there were signs of a break in but instead she finds a weapon that matches the murder weapon. Mary Margaret then hires Mr.Gold as her lawyer. Henry tells Emma that Regina has a key that might open Mary Margaret’s apartment which she does, making Emma and Henry suspect that Regina framed Mary Margaret as the Evil Queen hates Snow White. David then remembers himself as James/Charming begging Snow not to kill “her” which leads him to think she killed Kathryn. Mary Margaret then finds a key to her cell and leaves.

While I did like this episode there are a few things that are just weird. First is David’s memory. The way it’s shot makes it a first person perspective which means we have to interpret it as he sees what we see. David doesn’t question that in this memory Mary Margaret has longer hair and there is snow on the ground, two things that he should realize BEFORE he doubts her innocence, or at least question his memory more. David is a dummy. Also is Kathryn really dead? We know Graham didn’t have his heart and was still able to live. And finally fingerprint the knife! It was found in Mary Margaret’s apartment but did Regina ever get her to touch it? And was it the murder weapon? I don’t know, I like the episode but the whole murder plot is very boring, Regina is like Papaletine here, of course she is behind it all.

It’s Christmas time! A great thing to get for yourself or as gift are ornaments. Disney puts out a lot of ornaments and Hunchback has gotten a few, won’t say a lot. I do like this one because it depicts a nice scene from the movie  and has a nice sense of togetherness which just sums up the Holiday times.

Disney Quasimodo and Esmeralda Christmas ornament Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo and Esmeralda Christmas ornament

 

However maybe you’re not in the market for a Hunchback ornament. Don’t worry there are plenty and I do mean plenty of other Disney Holiday ornament for you.  These are really just a few, there are so very, very many. This isn’t like a list or anything just a super minimal sampling.

2016 Disney Ornament  picture image

2016 Disney Ornament

 

I like how simple and to the point this one it. It’s classic Disney yet fun and simple.

 

Eeyore Ornament picture image

Eeyore Ornament

 

I admit it, I have a soft spot for Eeyore. I like how he is tangled in lights.

 

Elsa, Anna, Olaf Ornament Frozen picture image

Elsa, Anna, Olaf Ornament

I love how wintery this one is plus it has that feeling of togetherness that Hunchback one also has.

Moana Ornament picture image

Moana Ornament

The Newest Princess.

 

Also if your if more Holiday crazy and ornament are too basic for you there is this Disney Christmas insanity,

Disney Tabletop Christmas Tree picture image

Disney Tabletop Christmas Tree

This is for serious Disney/ Christmas fans!