Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episodes 7 & 8 Review

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Episode 7:  The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Jamie Dornan as Graham with the Wolf, ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter picture image

Jamie Dornan as Graham with the Wolf,

Finally costumes I don’t hate, dare I say I kind of like. This episode follows Graham a.k.a the huntsman. Apparently kissing Emma helps the the fairy tale people regain some memories because Graham starts remembering his time a Huntsman with his wolf companion.  The episode also goes into why he is engaging in sexy times with Regina. Regina as the wicked Queen took his heart and made him her sex slave because he didn’t kill Snow.  Graham is desperate to regain his heart but can’t find it but he does cut off his loveless affair with Regina. Regina then in the real Storybrooke world gets Graham’s heart and crushes it thus killing him. Which kind of makes his whole arc kind of pointless, at least for the moment but at least it’s the first time the audience knows that Regina knows about the curse and the fairy tale thing.       

I did enjoy this episode it was nice to see one character question things. It did finally dawn on me in this episode that the woods look nothing like Maine but it doesn’t really matter.   I really do want to make House Stark joking given the wolf but we’ll just put a pin in that.   

Episode 8: Desperate Souls

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiktskin ABC's Once Upon a Time, Desperate Souls picture image

Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiktskin

Finally  part of Rumpelstiktskin’s backstory is revealed. Basically this episode reveals how Rumpy got his crazy powers. Apparently in the land where he lives at  the age of 13 children are drafted into the army, or maybe they are just cannon fodder. In an effort  to save his son, Rumpy  is told to get a dagger to control the Dark One (A Wheel of Time reference) and to kill the Dark One to get his power. Which Rumpy does but is  tricked because the Dark One wanted him to do and was the man who told about the Dark One because being the Dark One sucks.  Also Rumpy is a coward whose wife may have lied about him being the father their child.

Back in good-olde corruptly run Storybrooke, since Graham is dead by heart-broken-ness, like literally, the job for Sheriff is up for election. Regina wants her main minion Sydney Glass to get the job and Emma wants it too. Mr Gold offers to help but Emma wants to get the job fairly because Henry is going through a “Good Guys can’t win” phase. However Emma gets elected Sheriff but only through shady manipulations on Mr Gold’s end even though Emma thought she was being noble. Silly good noble people, they are so predictable.            

I feel like this episode is all over the place with Sheriff plot and Rumpy’s backstory. It just feel the two counterpart stories didn’t coalesce as well as other episodes aside from Mr Gold’s meddling which he has already done so it’s not a big surprise.

 

Bonus picture time!

Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen ABC's Once Upon a Time, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter picture image

Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen

Courtney Hicks performs to Hunchback Medley

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-wzGASxNwo

 

At the 2016 Rostelecom Cup, American, Courtney Hicks skated to a medley of Disney’s Hunchback. It’s a rather curious medley as it uses an instrumental version of The Bells of Notre Dame, the movie version of God Help the Outcast and the reprise of The Bells of Notre Dame from the stage musical. Hicks also placed third*.

*Source

Other Burbank Frollo

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Instead of just discussing the way Other Burbank decided to depict the Hunchback characters against the book, we’re going to look at them against the 1939 version since this version blatantly ripped off that version. Is that fair? Who cares they brought  it on themselves.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Just to recap, Frollo in the 1939 version was the King’s High Justice who held himself to a godly standard, hated Gypsy and ignorant, like the Earth being round. He also conducted himself with elegance and grace. This grace and elegance were in line with him wanting to stay in control of his crazy emotions with regards to Esmeralda which of course he didn’t do.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Frollo in this Burbank version is also the King’s High Justice and he also ignorant but that pretty much end the comparison. It is pare for the course for Frollo to have Esmeralda arouse his emotions so it’s not a major accomplishment that this version has the plot.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

He also were red agin like the first Burbank version (Australia doesn’t like black?) and he looks likes Disney’s Jafar and Gargamel’s love child. He was raised to want power and Smurf Berries.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Frollo just comes off cranky, dour and unpleasant. He doesn’t express any pathos or darkness an therefore he boring, very boring, like ambien, he curse insomnia if can stand to watch this for 40 minutes or if your brain doesn’t implode.

Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

Frollo in this version seems like a bargain-bin Saturday morning cartoon version. Wait, actually that would be a step up since this a straight to video  preemptive Disney Knock-off which is as low as you can go in the totem pole. The sad truth is Frollo is probably the closet to the 1939 version characterization.

Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 5 & 6 Review

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Going for two episode per post this month!

Episode 5;  That Still Small Voice

Raphael Sbarge as Dr. Archie Hopper, Jared S. Gilmore as Henry Mills, & Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 5; That Still Small Voice picture image

Raphael Sbarge as Dr. Archie Hopper, Jared S. Gilmore as Henry Mills, & Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time

This episode focuses on Jiminy Cricket and how he came to be a cricket as well as stuff with Jiminy’s Maine persona. Now I have never been one for Pinocchio, I watched that movie once when I was seven and didn’t like it then can’t say I care to rewatch it now, I DID like the cat Figaro but Pinocchio and Jiminy just don’t resonate with me so this episode felt very meh.

Basically the theme of this episode is doing the right thing and  having a conscious; Jiminy Cricket stuff. Jiminy in the fairy world was the son of scam artists and thieves.  Jiminy wants to go straight but his parents won’t left him. He is giving a potion to get rid of his parent but they swap the potion and a wife and husband are transformed into dolls. Those dolls or marionettes are the scariest thing I have ever seen. So the blue fairy turn Jiminy into a cricket and he vows to looks after the husband and wife’s child a boy named Gepetto.

In the Storybrooke plot Henry’s shrink a.k.a Archie Hopper, Hopper because cricket, puns,. is having issue with Regina being a no good meanie-face. The a cave collapses and Henry wants to look because Regina wants to not have people in the cave so CLEARLY Regina is hiding something even though there is something in there, Snow White’s glass coffin.

Anyway I found it  one of the weaker episodes but you can’t like them all. I did like the dog a Dalmatian named Pongo because Disney references, it’s what they do!

 

Episode 6; The Shepherd

Josh Dallas as The Shepherd Once Upon a Time picture image

Josh Dallas as The Shepherd, Once Upon a Time

Oh, ugly dress why do you haunt me? Seriously, what is up with Princess  Abigail’s blue dress? It’s so unflattering but fine, whatever, not really all that important. I do like that this show subverts Fairy-Tales but using the tropes different ways. This episode reveals that Prince Charming isn’t a prince but a poor shepard whose twin bother was adoptive by the King. So the actual Prince James died and the one we know isn’t really a Prince but sort of fell into the job through a family connection, classic nepotism. Joking aside it is a good twist of things, though I suppose it’s really only a twist because of the story structure being told out of order but it does keep the trite fairy tale fresh.

Two things that bother me slightly, One Shepard mother being poor but wearing white on a farm,? That doesn’t seem right. And  two, King Midas not being Greek or rather Phrygian. I’m not trying to be a super purest but it would have allowed for a more interesting look than typical medieval grab. I just want pretty costumes, Why is that so hard? All in all good episode I wish I could make a Mother of Dragon joke but nah.

Oh, and I also get it now, Mary Margaret Blanchard as in her last name meaning white. And Robert Carlyle is the best actor on this show.

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No Burbank post this week but I have a treat,

 

I have been waiting for this for like two years.   And as a bonus

 

 

Spooky Halloween Nostalgia

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DTV Monster Hits was a big thing in my childhood, my family recorded it on VHS (oh yeah) and I used to watch it a lot. Sadly this is pre-Disney Renassiance so no Hunchback but it defiantly a call back to 1980’s sentiments where you could scare child so long as it ended happily. I do prefer Disney being scary than sweet Princess stories but what can you do, I’m not an executive at Disney (Hire me Disney, we can make a scary Princess!)

Just click the picture below to watch the special (only only I could share it.)

DTV Monster Hits picture image

DTV Monster Hits

So this is basically Disney music videos with spooky songs. There  a few other things that are creepy and Halloween-ish, like the Evil Queen’s magic mirror and Witch Hazel. Also just to date this special, it has a preview of the newest movie at the time which was the The Great Mouse Detective, which was a fun movie!  The special  a great blend of old-school Dinsey charm and spooky creepy stuff.  I think my favorites of the music videos are Bad Moon Rising (not my typical style of music), Sweet Dreams, Monster Mash, Somebody’s watching, Better Run and Heffalumps & Woozles just to name a few. I really do love this special.

Happy Halloween!

 

Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 4; The Price of Gold Review

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Jessy Schram as Cinderella in Once Upon a Time Season 1 Episode 4; The Price of Gold picture image

Jessy Schram as Cinderella in Once Upon a Time

Finally costumes I don’t hate. I mean they aren’t amazing I mean very much what you would expect from Cinderella’s ball gown not super gown and they other costume were not that bad either. Things are looking up.

So this episode focus one Cinderella however instead of the fairy godmother Rumpy gives Cinderella her chance at life in exchange for something that Rumpy never says and Cinderella agrees and signs the contract without reading it. The thing Rumpelstiltskin wants is Cinderella’s first born which makes Cinderella the miller’s daughter from the Rumpelstiltkin tale.

In the real work of amnesiac fairy tale people, Cinderella is a teen soon to be mom named Ashley. Get it? Ash? Cinders? It’s a pun. Better than calling her Ella or Cindy. Anyway the baby’s daddy’s father sold off the baby to Mr Gold and Ashley agree but is not reneging on said promise. In the end Emma Swan makes a deal with Mr Gold to owe him a favor and Ashley can keep her baby.

While in the fairy tale world Cinderella and her Prince are trying to magically trap Rumpy out the contract. They also go Game of Thrones saying the magic needs a price. So in exchange for trapping Rumpy something happens to Cinderella’s prince because he took reasonably for the price and magic apparently is cool with people taking the price other the one who did the act, I guess.

All in all, it was an enjoyable episode, a bit highhanded with the whole baby thing a Emma put her baby up for adoption and Ashley is desperate to keep her baby. I’m not sure how I like the idea of Rumpy killing the Fairy God mother and then baiting Cinderella but it made for an interesting plot/ twist of the sources materials so I really don’t mind it. Also it seems like Regina and Graham are hooking up…

Anti-Hypothetical Casting for Quasimodo; Jack Black

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Jack Black picture image

Jack Black

Let’s end this month with another singer since that has been the sort of theme to this scary casting picks. Here for your consideration is Jack Black, a musician who makes comedic songs and does act, which is really more than you can say for the previously people this month.  But why would Black not make a good casting choice for Quasimodo?  Well it’s not really a question I think anyone has ever asked because it sounds too ridiculous.

 

Jack Black picture image

Jack Black

For the record, Jack Black is fine in his singing and acting capacity but oh dear god is he wrong in type. Most actors have a type,  roles the can play well. Sometimes an actor can surpass it and play roles that you would never expect but mostly they are in some kind  of type. This is more true with singers as they are all about an image and Jack Black has the wrong image. Black has a very crass and vulgar way about his humor that is so wrong for Quasimodo. Quasimodo is often depicted as sad yet kind. Sometimes he gets his whole hating people angle but that is rare. Quasimodo has been somewhat vulgar once but it was wrapped up in arrested development. In the French parody he was childlike and drew some crude pictures of Esmeralda but that is still not at the level of Jack Black.

 

Jack Black picture image

Jack Black

However, there is always the chance that someone, some weird coke-brained studio executive makes a Hunchback movie that casts Jack Black as Quasimodo. It would be Black in Quasimodo make-up but it would really just be Black being himself or his type with his humor. And yet it would still be a better Quasimodo than most of the shitty Disney Knock-offs, which is just sad and little scary to say.

 

Jack Black picture image

Jack Black

You know I take it all back, I want a version of Hunchback with Gerard Bulter as Frollo, Ariana Grande as Esmeralda, Justin Bieber as Phoebus and Jack Black as Quasimodo. It would be at the most cringe inducing  train wreck of epic proportion, that though your eyes will burn, your stomach with expel its content, ever muscle in your being with compel you to run you will not be able to avert your gaze for it is true evil but it would be a at least a new Hunchback of Notre Dame movie.

 

The Plot of the Other Burbank version of Hunchback of Notre Dame

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Frollo Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo

If you didn’t figure it out, the other Burbank version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame followed the plot of the 1939 version in a rough and unapologetic manner. This is technically the first version to be based off of the 1939 version since the 1997 version came out later but the 1997 version did take the basic plot of the 1939 version and add other elements  like Quasimodo liking books. What did this version do to distinguish itself? Well, Quasimodo has doves and Frollo has a literal birth mark of evil. That is the only thing that is original to this version from the 1939 version never mind the book, there is no point discussing the book against this version.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo, Other Burbank Hunchback of Notre Dame 1996 picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo

Perhaps it’s unfair to say that this version should have add something to the basic plot of the 1939 version, after all this is a streamline version of Hunchback for kids. But just because it’s a short version condensed down to forty minutes, did it have to be so devoid of impact? This version is without a doubt  the blandest, joyless, soul crushing version of hunchback to date. It’s has all the flavor watery  hospitable vanilla ice cream. There is nothing in this version that conveys any sort of emotion or interest. It’s like a paint by number retelling of another retelling.