I have not been keeping up with the new production of Notre Dame de Paris, bad me. So far, I think Tawaji is great Esmeralda and I will have to look more into the other comments of this production.
Also shameless plug since it’s Christmas time,
I hate this version. It so damn forgettable. Say what you want about Enchanted Tales or Dingo at least they are memorable, though not in a good way. This one is just so boring and dull that I find myself having to rewatch it constantly to write these posts because I can not remember anything and that’s I can’t bring myself to write the posts in a timely fashion. This version is maxing me out in so many ways. I mean how many ways can one really say this character is boring compared to other sources?
Esmeralda
I guess that brings us to the lovely Esmeralda. She is pretty, at least that is what the characters tell us which is good given the lack of art style in this move I wouldn’t have known. So like in the better 1939 version, Esmeralda cares for the blight of her people. She tries to tell the king by going to his house instead of praying which I guess shows initiative.
Esmeralda
WAIT a second! This Esmeralda has initiative. She shows that a few times in this version. She tries to speak to the king directly on New Year’s Eve, she gives Quasimodo water (which is standard) and goes to see Phoebus despite being wanted for being too pretty. Oh god a character trait! It’s been so long since I have seen one that I thought I had forgotten. I mean to be fair, her initiative is buried in poor decision making but it’s something other than being nice and romantic.
Esmeralda
Too bad she is still boring. Just a boring pretty girl with eyes that shine brighter than the stars in the sky (apparently), who is also nice and takes initiative at bad times and has a super fake French accent. This version sucks! I want to burn so at least I can get some mild entertainment out it.
Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills & Giancarlo Esposito as Sidney Glass
Episode 11: Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
Former Regina minion Sidney Glass, of the daily mirror, wants to team up with Emma to expose Regina’s corruption. After a series events that really do nothing to expose Regina’s crooked ways, Emma does find trust in Sidney. Though it was all a ruse as Sidney is still Regina’s minion and it’s a trap for Emma. Also in addition to that main Storybrooke plot, Henry is trying to get the fairy tale book back as it went missing when Regina tore down the playhouse that he and Emma met to discuss their plans. The Stranger is the one who currently has the book.
The parallel story of the Fairy Tale world is about our favorite Evil Queen meeting the Genie of the Lamp. The Genie was freed by the King and the King gave the Genie his third wish which the Genie never wants to use because magic sucks. The King decides to bring the Genie to the castle and when the Genie sees the Queen he falls head over lamp for her. The Queen seems to reciprocates the Genie’s feeling but she is married and not in love with her husband. The Queen’s father begs the Genie for help to give her a box of poisonous snakes which are from his homeland. However the Genie, convinced that Queen loves him, uses the snakes to kill the King. However it dawns on the Genie that the Queen tricked him and isn’t in love with him at all. He decides to use his wish so that may be with her forever and always gaze on her face and since magic sucks in this world, he is turned into her magic mirror. Sucks for him but this pleases the Queen.
I enjoyed half this episode. I typically like the Storybrooke story more but this time I was bored by most of it but I liked the Fairy Tale world plot. It’s interesting the combination of the Genie of the Lamp turning into Magic Mirror. So often in Snow White versions there is no explanation for the Magic Mirror, the audience is just suppose to accept it, which is fine in a fairy tale. It’s just a nice touch on the show’s end to offer a story behind the mirror. I will just say I did like the twist at the end of the Storybrooke storyline where Sidney is still in league with Regina, it wasn’t mind blowing but it so in keeping with Regina’s character.
Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin & Emilie de Ravin as Belle
Episode 12: Skin Deep
Oh dear god the amount of cultural references in this episode is just funny. First off and not as referential was at the start of the Fairy Tale Storyline where they mention a place called Avonlea that had fallen. Avonlea is where Anne of Green Gables took place and not to mention the Canadian show Road to Avonlea, which i used to love when I was a kid. It was just so random. The second of a Flower shop in Storybrooke called Game of Thorns, I think everyone can get that. David is reading Anna Karenina, which a novel mostly about adultery which he is currently engaged in with Mary Margaret. And then there is a Nurse Rachet which is from One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
So on to actual episode, this week we have Beauty and the Beast. The Beast is actually our old pal Rumpelstiktskin. Rumpelstiktskin helped Belle’s Kingdom out of being conquered from Ogres in exchange for her to be his housekeeper. Gradually they fall in love, however Rumpelstiktskin lets her go in the guise of her running an errand. While Belle in the forest she runs into that pesky Evil Queen. The Queen tells her that true love’s kiss can break any curse, it’s like a super panacea. Belle then tries it on Rumpelstiktskin which starts to work but he gets mad at her and tells her to leave. Belle, who is hurt, tells him that he will be alone forever with an empty heart and the teacup that she chipped, which a Disney’s Chip reference. That pesky Evil Queen shows up at Rumpelstiktskin’s place and she tells him that Belle was shunned by her village, tortured by her father and killed herself. Rumpelstiktskin is devastated.
Meanwhile in the real fake world of Storybrooke, Mr Gold gets something stolen him and he enlists Emma to find it. When Emma can’t find said specific item, Mr Gold kidnaps the guy who stole it and start assaulting him saying that “She is gone.” Emma arrests Mr. Gold because hitting people is wrong apparently. Regina shows up and tells Emma to hang out with Henry so she can be alone with Mr.Gold. Regina asks Mr.Gold his real name. This reveals that they both know about the Fairy Tale past. Also Belle’s counterpart is in a mental ward revealing that she didn’t die in the past.
I’m a bit mixed on this episode. On the one hand I like Rumpelstiktskin as the “beast” but he seems like a swiss-army character. He’s Beast, the Fairy Godmother, the downtrodden cursed one etc. He is everything except Rumpelstiktskin. The only thing “Rumpelstiktskin” does is he spins straw into gold, though in truth he could have been doing anything else like turning lead in gold or making a zero calorie fudge brownie. Also just a side note, the reason why Rumpelstiktskin spins straw into gold in the fairy tale is that a miller says his daughter can spin straw into gold so the prince or king tests her and if she can’t he will kill her, so Rumpelstiktskin does it for her in exchange for stuff. It’s not like a hobby of his so I don’t why Show Rumpelstiktskin do this. Was it mention in his backstory because I don’t recall it or explained in a later episode? The other Rumpelstiktskin thing he does is he wants babies for some reason. I’m going to bet this gets explained and hopefully he doesn’t want to eat them.
Another thing that makes me scratch my head is Belle herself. Aside from dressing like Disney Belle, Belle doesn’t have any of Belle’s personality. I know she is different from Disney Belle but since the episode so far just rehashed Beauty and Beast the comparison between the two is more direct than Snow White and Cinderella. It’s not a big issue but feels more puzzled that Belle, who is one of the more beloved Disney Princesses, feels like an afterthought. I do like that she is in the mental ward, that is a nice call back to the Disney movie.
The main hightlight of the Storybrooke episode was the reveal that Mr.Gold and Regina know.
Anthony Bourdain and Quasimodo
In a recent interview for his new season of Anthony Bourdain:Parts Unknown for Eater.com, Bourdain compared himself to Quasimodo.
“On feeling out of place: “I feel like Quasimodo the hunchback of Notre Dame — if he stayed in nice hotel suites with high thread count sheets, that would be me. I feel kind of like a freak, and I feel very isolated. ”
I used to watch his show No Reservations a lot and I loved that he was in an episode of Archer pretty much being himself but more of a jerk.
Quasimodo crowned King of Clowns
Quasimodo has to be the worse. In fact this is one of the worse versions of Quasimodo. He’s like a weird lesson in total apathy.
Esmeralda and Quasimodo,
Quasimodo doesn’t do much in this movie and he says much less. Sure, he does all things that Quasimodo does in the course of the story but the execution of it just so lifeless that who the fuck really cares? Quasimodo has no definable personality and seemingly no intelligence. He doesn’t use pronouns and refers to himself as “Quasimodo.” Some of these lines are “Quasimodo your friend” or ” Quasimodo not your friend.” These are actual lines he says in this version. Typically this method of speaking denotes cuteness or a young child, like a three year old, but it makes Quasimodo seem like he has a low intelligence. He’s deaf not an simpering idiot. In fact the only thing he does that is at all in line with the 1939 version is he rings the bells thinking about Esmeralda, whom he just calls his friends. No love just pals, way to dig deep into this psyche movie.
Quasimodo fighting Frollo
Aside from Esmeralda and that is really just giving her flowers, Quasimodo has no interactions with Frollo aside from the trial scene and the ending. If Frollo hasn’t said he was Quaismodo’s guardian in a line of exposition it wouldn’t been known and really it’s another example of just not caring. It didn’t matter in the scheme of things if Frollo was his guardian or not in this version because Quasimodo doesn’t care when he kill Frollo and yes Quasimodo pushes Frollo down the Bell Tower after hitting with a bell.
Quasimodo with his doves
Forget not having pathos or being a pitiable character, this version of Quasimodo can’t even grasp pain. He doesn’t care about anything so why should anyone care about this Quasimodo he has no understanding or anything which makes him boring and not sympathetic which makes nothing like his character in any version of Hunchback.
Lana Parrilla as Evil Queen, Karley Scott Collins as Gretel & Quinn Lord as Hansel
Episode 9: True North
The Evil Queen’s costumes are really starting to grow on me or they are just better than at the start of the show. This episode is about Hansel and Gretel whose Storybrooke counterparts are orphan children. All this episode really does to move the plot is Mary Margaret sees Emma’s baby blanket and the Evil Queen gets her poison apple as the Blind Witch in the Gingerbread house had it and the Evil Queen sent Hansel and Gretel to retrieve it for her. Oh and the Stranger comes to town. I do wonder if no one ever leaves or goes to Storybrooke how do the get shipments of essentials? I think I’m overthinking.
This was a weak episode, not much more you can say.
Episode 10: 7:15 A.M.
Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White
Okay, we’re back to an episode focused on Mary Margaret/Snow White and David/James/Shepherd. In the Fairy Tale world a.k.a Enchanted Forest, James is about to marry princess Abigail but instead sends a letter to Snow White asking her to come to him so they can be together. Snow White, in turn, was trying to forget him and had Rumpy make her a forget-me-now potion. However Snow goes to castle but is thrown in prison. While in the joint she meets Grumpy. One of the other dwarves springs them but gets killed in the escaped attempt, Snow White saves Grumpy and breaks things off with James claiming she doesn’t love him. After which she moves in with the Dwarves and takes the potion to forget her love even though James called off the wedding with Abigail.
Meanwhile in Storybrooke, a storm is a brewing! Mary Margaret however is engaging in some light stalker as she makes sure she is at the coffee place every morning at 7:15 a.m. to see David getting his coffee. Though it turns out that David is only there at that time to see Mary Margaret so they are stalking each other, it’s like a fairy tale. However it turns out that David’s wife Catherine MIGHT be pregnant, so Mary Margaret tries to back off and instead focuses her attention on getting a Dove back to its flock before a super heavy rainstorm. David of course follows her, saves her from death by cliff, they confess their feelings and decide they cannot stay apart. Adultery, how romantic?
All in all, I did like this episode. I do like seeing James and Snow White romance unfold. I also like that she meets Grumpy in a dungeon cell, nice touch.
Terrance Zdunich
Let’s just say we live in a Fantasy world where they’re making a movie version of Notre Dame de Paris and it’s a better English translation of the musical. Who could we get to play Pierre Gringoire? One possibility I could see is Terrance Zdunich.
Terrance Zdunich
Zdunich isn’t a widely known actor but he was in a weird horror musical called Repo! The Genetic Opera which came out in 2008. I knew about it at the time since in 2008 I was a huge Sarah Brightman fan but I couldn’t bring myself to see because Paris Hilton was in the movie. Fast-Forward to 2016, I finally watched it because I was working on a list of seven horror musicals. It was really one those movies that I found to confusing to hate but is probably not a great movie I also was wrong about Paris Hilton, she was perfectly cast as a spoiled rich girl who addicted to surgery, needs drugs and isn’t a great performer, it’s a meta role. However what struck me was Zdunich as the Graverobber.
Terrance Zdunich as The Graverobber from Repo! The Genetic Opera
I mean just look at him in this movie and tell you can’t see him as Gringoire? There something about the styling of The Graverobber that is very reminiscent of Notre Dame de Paris. Zdunich’s mannerism are on par with a lot of Gringoire’s actors. Even the Zydrate Anatomy number is very similar in feeling to Val d’Amour.
But if you need more convincing just watch the Zydrate Anatomy part, which also features Paris Hilton.
Terrance Zdunich
But what do you think? Do you think Terrance Zdunich would make a good Gringoire à la Notre Dame de Paris?
I’m very sorry to have to postpone another review post again. I hate doing postponing the post but I’m sick again and I tried to push through but spent hours trying to write and I got like four sentence in and it was crap, utter crap, worse that usual. So instead here a paper doll of Esmeralda using the Azalea Heroine Doll Game in the style of Benjamin Lacombe’s version of Esmeralda.
Benjamin Lacombe’s version of Esmeralda using Azalea Heroine Doll Game
I do like Lacombe cute yet gothic style.
Esmeralda by Benjamin Lacombe Notre Dame de Paris
I do like Lacombe cute yet gothic style.
Episode 7: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
Jamie Dornan as Graham with the Wolf,
Finally costumes I don’t hate, dare I say I kind of like. This episode follows Graham a.k.a the huntsman. Apparently kissing Emma helps the the fairy tale people regain some memories because Graham starts remembering his time a Huntsman with his wolf companion. The episode also goes into why he is engaging in sexy times with Regina. Regina as the wicked Queen took his heart and made him her sex slave because he didn’t kill Snow. Graham is desperate to regain his heart but can’t find it but he does cut off his loveless affair with Regina. Regina then in the real Storybrooke world gets Graham’s heart and crushes it thus killing him. Which kind of makes his whole arc kind of pointless, at least for the moment but at least it’s the first time the audience knows that Regina knows about the curse and the fairy tale thing.
I did enjoy this episode it was nice to see one character question things. It did finally dawn on me in this episode that the woods look nothing like Maine but it doesn’t really matter. I really do want to make House Stark joking given the wolf but we’ll just put a pin in that.
Episode 8: Desperate Souls
Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiktskin
Finally part of Rumpelstiktskin’s backstory is revealed. Basically this episode reveals how Rumpy got his crazy powers. Apparently in the land where he lives at the age of 13 children are drafted into the army, or maybe they are just cannon fodder. In an effort to save his son, Rumpy is told to get a dagger to control the Dark One (A Wheel of Time reference) and to kill the Dark One to get his power. Which Rumpy does but is tricked because the Dark One wanted him to do and was the man who told about the Dark One because being the Dark One sucks. Also Rumpy is a coward whose wife may have lied about him being the father their child.
Back in good-olde corruptly run Storybrooke, since Graham is dead by heart-broken-ness, like literally, the job for Sheriff is up for election. Regina wants her main minion Sydney Glass to get the job and Emma wants it too. Mr Gold offers to help but Emma wants to get the job fairly because Henry is going through a “Good Guys can’t win” phase. However Emma gets elected Sheriff but only through shady manipulations on Mr Gold’s end even though Emma thought she was being noble. Silly good noble people, they are so predictable.
I feel like this episode is all over the place with Sheriff plot and Rumpy’s backstory. It just feel the two counterpart stories didn’t coalesce as well as other episodes aside from Mr Gold’s meddling which he has already done so it’s not a big surprise.
Bonus picture time!
Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-wzGASxNwo
At the 2016 Rostelecom Cup, American, Courtney Hicks skated to a medley of Disney’s Hunchback. It’s a rather curious medley as it uses an instrumental version of The Bells of Notre Dame, the movie version of God Help the Outcast and the reprise of The Bells of Notre Dame from the stage musical. Hicks also placed third*.