Sam the Eagle and Janice are like Esmeralda and Frollo

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Sam the Eagle & Janice, ABC's Muppets picture image

Sam the Eagle & Janice, ABC’s The Muppets

I love the Muppets, I can’t say I have seen everything they have done but I did watch the new series on ABC The Muppets. It’s sort of a mixed of there old Muppet show mixed with 30 Rock. One thing that I noticed was Sam the Eagle crushed on Janice. Sam the Eagle is uptight and Janice is a free-spirted hippie new age gal.

Now you look at these two and tell me don’t get Frollo and Esmeralda vibes. Sam the Eagle even has a tonsure and Janice has a tan. Sam the Eagle stalks her a little bit and in the Christmas episode waits by the mistletoe from her, he doesn’t get it but he gets a peck later in the episode. I will say that Sam does have more game than Frollo and Janice is nicer to Sam than Esmeralda is to Frollo.

I just loves seeing this type of pairing in the show. They NEED to a Hunchback or Notre Dame de Paris skit with these two.

Songs of Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Review; Part 3

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Ciara Renee as Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcasts, production of Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Ciara Renee as Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcasts, production of Hunchback of Notre Dame

Topsy Turvy Part 2 –  And Now Part 2 of Topsy Turvy. This part is the King of Fools segment and Quasimodo’s crowning. It has a few differences from the movie version most notably Esmeralda has a few spoken lines and they there is the tune from Sanctuary in there. I probably should mention that  Sanctuary was a song from the German version that occurred right before Out There. In this musical it is more of a Frollo Leitmotif piece than a full song. It’s also heard in Bells of Notre Dame and the next song Into Notre Dame.

As for this song, it’s fine if you like it in the movie you should like it here. I’m not a huge fan of Erik Liberman’s voice on this song but that is a personal preference more than a criticism.

Into Notre Dame –  This song is a bit of a Frankenstein song, I mean that nicely as it just a combo of three songs, well really two. The first part of this is Frollo telling Quasimodo that he was right, that people  suck and he should stay in his Sanctuary. So for this part we get Out there reprise and the shadows of Sanctuary or as I will just call it Frollo’s Leitmotif.

The second part of this song is Esmeralda entering Notre Dame to the tune of the Bells of Notre Dame. This part is quite lovely. I especially love Ciara’ voice on her line ” The Light of Notre Dame.” I must say so far that is my favorite part so far. Also it’s nice to speak of another aspect of Notre Dame than just the bells.

This song is really just a segue song to get from the festival to Notre Dame so that explains why it doesn’t have its own melody but the pieces of the other song work to move the plot and they make sense with the subject matter.

God Help the Outcasts –  For the big songs of Hunchback they are going to perform they near exact to the movie because that one thing the people want, they want to hear their favorite songs along with new songs and no gargoyles and that is pretty much it. So God Help the Outcasts is just that, identical to the movie which is better than Glockner which gave a change that I hated. They made it a duet with Quasimodo which meant Esmeralda didn’t have her own song though Phoebus did. That still bothers me.

All and all aside from some key shifts and singing a bit lower it’s the same song. I do love the chorus on the “bless me part” ironically it sounded very ethereal. Ciara Renee definitely has similar voice quality to the original singer Heidi Mollenhauer whose has very tender warm slightly smoky quality to her voice. It’s a very nice version of the song I just don’t love the song as much other people but again that is a personal thing and not a criticism. I was hoping that this version would sway me into liking more but it didn’t. Not the song fault I’m a hard sell.

Splash Review; Is her native language dolphin?

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Splash picture image

Splash

It’s Ron Howard’s 1984 mermaid Rom-Com that was directly responsible for making Ariel the red-head we know and tolerate. It is also the reason why Madison is a popular girl name. Splash again was one those movies that I had heard of but didn’t know anything about and I wished it had stayed that way.

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison

Allen Bauer is a guy who has a good business in New York City with his brother Freddy. Allen has issues with the ladies and Freddy is a womanizer. Back when they were children visiting, or rather going to look at Cape Cod, Allen is knocked off the boat and is rescued by a pretty blonde.

After his girlfriend leaves him, Allen revisits Cape Cod and again falls in the ocean and is again rescued by a blonde lady but she runs off. She however finds his wallet and goes to New York City to find, never mind she can’t speak English but she CAN read it.

So after getting taken in for nudity and not speaking English, She reunites with Allen and he takes her back to his place where they have sex. She then goes off shopping and learns fluent English from the televisions in the department store.

As her name is unpronounceable and breaks TV when uttered, she takes on the name Madison because they were at the corner of Madison. She also informs Allen she can only stay six days because if she stays any longer she can never return. Because it turns out Madison is a mermaid and when she touched by Saltwater or water her legs revert back to pinkish-orange fins.

As Allen is trying to figure her deal out while trying to marry her, Walter Kornbluth a weird-o scientific who is a laughing stock of the scientist is trying to expose Madison as a mermaid. And when he does the military take her for evil experiments. Allen, Freddy and Walter save and a mad-cap chase ensues through New York. It ends when Madison returns to the sea which means she can never be a human agian. As Allen joins her as he can be safe in the water with her. The End.

Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Daryl Hannah as Madison

Now a lot of people like this movie and I don’t understand why. I found nothing likable or endearing about either the plot of the characters. The first logic jump that one HAS to make is Cape Cod. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert on Cape Cod, but I have been there a few times and it’s not some you take a boat to and just look at. There is a lot to Cape Cod and the impression I get from this movie is the inability of people from New York and Los Angles to not even understand the setting of the set-up. They could have replaced Cape Cod with the two popular Islands that are part of the Cape, Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard and it would have made more sense than just saying Cape Cod.

Also I don’t know how endearing it is to introduce a character by having look up lady’s skirts. But the humor in the movie is down right abysmal.

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison

As I have mention the characters suck. Madison is alright. She all naive and innocence but at the sometime there seems something vapid about her. It could be the acting or the direction since she doesn’t have much a personality.

Allen is just an insufferable tool. There is nothing likable about this guy. He just bitches and whines when thing don’t go his way and even when this are going his way he complains. This guy is throughly punchable.

The only character that was likable and had a personality was Freddy and he was a lying womanizer who looked up ladies’ skirts as a child.

Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Daryl Hannah as Madison

The plot has this ticking clock where Madison has return to the sea or she can never be a mermaid again. After a fight when Allen asked her to marry him and she sighted that she could stay and he got all pissed and yelled at her she runs off and then agrees to stay with him. This plot mechanic also worked the other way were Allen can live with her in the sea but can’t return. The thing is the movie offers no explanation at least why this happens. Is this like merfolk Rumspringa? Where a merperson is allowed to see if they like being a human for a set period of time?

I have criticized movies for over explaining things but you can’t not explain it either. Or because it’s a fairy tale movie do the screenwriters just except people to accept this rule?

Also the conflict from Madison getting kidnapped by the government and subsequent chase and Allen’s decision to live in the ocean felt tacked on. Like they needed a climatic ending and conflict so military and a mean old scientist was an easy out.

Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Daryl Hannah as Madison

The humor in this movie also sucks. The one joke I will mention is as Madison is shopping a sales woman shows her a dress and said that she, the saleswoman, can’t fit in to it then goes on to say that her daughter is lucky because she has anorexia. I know this movie is from 1984 and I’m watching in 2016 but still not funny. Most the other jokes are just weak at the expense of culture shock or downright unfunny.

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison

The technicals are fine. They did some nice things with the mermaid fins. Mostly it’s just New York City well mostly. The beach and underwater scenes can’t not be from either New York City or Cape Cod. They are somewhere in the Tropics. It’s easier to film there but it’s a suspension of disbelief that I can’t do easily especially for a movie that fails at being likable.

Daryl Hannah as Madison Splash picture image

Daryl Hannah as Madison

Most people only remember Splash as that mermaid movie where Daryl Hannah walks around naked and that is a better way to know this movie than a weak movie filled with bottom-feeder characters and a sunken plot.

Hypothetical Casting for Esmeralda; Anna Kendrick

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Anna Kendrick picture image

Anna Kendrick

It’s a fantasy of mine that one day there will be a great well done movie version of Notre Dame de Paris. Let’s just say for fun that someone in Hollywood banking on the success of Les Miserable wanted to make it who is an actress in Hollywood that looks the part of Esmeralda, can sing and is popular? Seems like a tall order but all signs point to Anna Kendrick.

Anna Kendrick as Cinderella Into the Woods Picture image

Anna Kendrick as Cinderella

Anna Kendrick has been a lot of successful/popular movies like the Twilight saga, thou we won’t hold that against her, as well as Pitch Perfect movies and Into the Woods. She also a very talent singer who has performed on Broadway. She was in High Society at the age of 12 where she earned a Theater World Award as well as nominations for Featured Actress in a Musical at the Drama Desk Awards and Tony Awards. Kendrick is a very effortless actress, meaning that very natural and it seldom feels like she is playing a role.

Anna Kendrick picture image

Anna Kendrick

Kendrick has a chameleon voice as she can easily to do many style of singing however her natural voice seems to be fairly low to middle range and I think she’s considered a Mezzo Soprano as she is a great belter. Esmeralda’s voice typically is in this range so it suits her voice but more than that, she would bring a bright warmth to the songs.

Anna Kendrick picture image

Anna Kendrick

Notre Dame de Paris Esmeralda run the gambit of looks but there is a standard which is she typically brunette or a red head. Her hair is often also wavy. That is pretty much Kendrick hair style, so it’s easy to envision her in the role.

Anna Kendrick picture image

Anna Kendrick

Anna Kendrick would make a ideal Esmeralda for a movie version as she a great actress/performer/singer and she just bring a likability to to her roles. But what do you think? Would Anna Kendrick make a good Esmeralda? And would you like to see her sing Esmeralda to a Taylor Swift Fleur de Lys?

Songs of Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Review; Part 2

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Ciara Renee as Esmeralda, Papermill production of Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Ciara Renee as Esmeralda, Papermill production of Hunchback of Notre Dame

Topsy Turvy Part 1–  Topsy Turvy  is broken up  into two parts to allow two songs to happen as a mean to introduce Phoebus and Esmeralda. Though technically Phoebus makes his first appearance in this song where we learn that last name of his. More on that soon.

The first 30 second is pretty much identical to the movie. However then Quasimodo sings a bit along with some new lyrics sung by the Chorus. His part has a slight reprise to Out There to it. Also the whole of Quasimodo part  feels very musical-y  and also rhyming Now with Now? You guys could have done better.

The Clopin’s a part start and it’s again it’s identical to the movie, though I do admit I prefer Paul Kandel’s sining. The song again shifts to Phoebus appearing in the crowd after The sixth of January line or “Januervy.” And he pretty much announces himself to everyone, Frollo and Jehan did the same thing In Bells so I guess it just a thing the musical does though I don’t really care for people narrating themselves, though the chorus joins in to tells us that “he has a haunted look in his eyes.”  Anyway this part leads in to the next song…

Rest and Recreation – This song was in the German version and now it’s back. It uses Phoebus’ march from the movie.  Much like in the movie Phoebus is back from the Front.   But you know I have to ask what war? What Front? Phoebus says that he has been gone four years and seems a bit shaken up from it as they  mention cannon fodder.  I’m no expert on European Wars but France wasn’t in wars in 1482. The wars that France was in that were the closest to 1482 were The War of Castilian Succession  of 1475 to 1479 and The Burgundian War of 1474 to 1477. It could be a simple matter that the musical doesn’t take place in 1482 except they say it did. Song mentions a siege and bodies in a trench which are probably more like hot words than actually referring to a war or battle. I can deal with unnamed War in the Disney movie but here it’s a harder pill to swallow since the musical is truing to be more like the book. I mean did the say which war it was in musical?  But this backstory takes me out of the song.

So back to the song. Phoebus also mentions that he’s on furlough but then he gets his new promotion as Captain of the Cathedral Guard. I’m going to real with you guys, that is the stupidest thing. I get what they are doing. Phoebus has to be Frollo’s minion for his character arc and Frollo is now a Priest so the tidiest way to handle this is to make Phoebus the Captain of the Cathedral Guard. BUT Cathedrals didn’t have private guards. This even goes against the book where the Sanity of the Church was respected, even Disney movie Frollo respected it.

Anyway  the I haven’t really discussed the song yet. Much like in German version Rest and Recreation tries to amalgamate book Phoebus with movie Phoebus. Book Phoebus was womanizer and movie Phoebus is nobel and gallant. Since Phoebus is described as having “a dashing manner and bold swagger” we know he got those personality down but the song gives us a reason why Phoebus wants the ladies, because he been away at the unnamed Fantasy war. Despite the war and Notre Dame guard the song is successful at give the blending of Phoebus’s characterization and setting up his character in this version.

Rhythm of the Tambourine – This song is Esmeralda’s introduction song which is also her dance number during the festival. It is also the first new song of this musical version. Judging from the lines Phoebus, Frollo and Quasimodo sing about “who is she” I’m going to guess Esmeralda and Quasimodo didn’t have their little moment where Quasimodo crashes into dressing room, but I could wrong, I’m probably wrong.

Rhythm of the Tambourine is very staccato which I would guess is for said tambourine but it does nothing for me. Also is just me or is this song reminiscent  of Carol of the Bells? Wonder if that was one purpose?   I do like her attitude on dance that it just for fun as she ask “What can it hurt?” Such delightful irony. We also get a Belle moment as like I said Phoebus, Frollo and Quasimodo sing about her. Frollo likens her to a devil, classic him. Phoebus and Quasimodo liken her to an angel but Phoebus goes on to say that she dances with Fire.

It’s decent song and clearly gets across Esmeralda’s love for dance which she REALLY didn’t have in the Disney movie as well as the guys views on her.

 

Willow Review; The Fellowship of the Baby

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Willow picture image

Willow

Another 80’s fairytale/Fantasy  movie has come dropped in to be review, and this isn’t the last. Willow is from 1988 and is a story written by George Lucas for Warwick Davis. It was directed by Ron Howard who oddly is the director of next week’s movie, Guess if you want.

Willow was a movie I had vaguely heard of but knew nothing about. All I knew is that it was some 1980’s Fantasy movie. So how is it?

Warwick Davis as Willow with Elora Dunan Willow picture image

Warwick Davis as Willow with Elora Dunan

Like so many other Fantasy movies, this one starts off with one of those pesky prophecy. This is one is about a female child will bring the downfall of the evil Queen Bavmorda. The baby of prophecy who is later called Elora Danan is smuggled out and finds her way to the family of Willow Ufgood, who is farmer but wants to be a sorcerer. He is also a dwarf or a Nelwyn. Little Elora is being tracked so the people of Willow’s village decide to take her back to the humans or as this movie calls them The Daikini.

Along the the way Willow meets a dishonored warrior who is less than noble named Madmartigan, a Fairy Queen with her two brownies to help out and a cursed old sorceress. They also are being pursed by Sorsha, Bavmorda’s warrior daughter who ends up falling in love with Madmartigan.

Val Kilmer as Madmartigan Willow picture image

Val Kilmer as Madmartigan

The plot of this movie is actually kind of complex with all the places they go and people they meet and just stuff. It actually is confusing even for 1980‘s movie standards. And yet it all wraps up pretty tidy with a nice little set up and pay off.

All in all it’s not that different of plot line for an adventure story. It’s fun just not that out there or original. However one downfall with this movie is the pacing. It just feels longer than it should and slow in parts. Also when they go to places for seemingly no real payoff.

Joanne Whalley as Sorsha and Val Kilmer as Madmartigan Willow picture image

Joanne Whalley as Sorsha and Val Kilmer as Madmartigan

The characters are all ok. No one stood out at all. I suppose they all had they moments of change like Willow deciding to care for little Elora when at first he wanted nothing to do with her, or Madmartigan being a douche and then caring for Willow and Elora and even Sorsha who came to love Madmartigan. But still aside for a few traits here and there, there wasn’t too much to the characters.

However that could have been the acting which was not that good. Everyone was kinda cringe worthy to  some degree. Although I will say the characters in this movie are better than some of the other live action fantasy movies, so they get a B-. (*Upgrade to B in a 2020 rewatch.)

Also some these names seems like swear words, like Madmartigan.

Joanne Whalley as Sorsha Willow picture image

Joanne Whalley as Sorsha

The technicals are adequate. Some of the effects were better than others like pig morphing scene was ok but the Brownies being little or the two ended dragon were a little forced. But it was 1988 so it gets a pass.

The sets and the costume were all fine.

Warwick Davis as Willow Willow picture image

Warwick Davis as Willow

Willow is a fun Fantasy movie it’s not amazing but it’s not bad. It’s quite ok.

*A 2020 Update – I rewatch this movie in early February of 2020 and I had fun watching this movie again. While I don’t think it is a god-tier level movie (few films are let’s be real) I do think it’s a solid B or even A-. I was expecting the 2016 version of myself to be meaner to this movie since I have soften a lot with regards to movies, but I’m pleasantly surprised that past me was nice to this movie.

Also I liked the enemies to lover trope having a happy ending *coughStarWarscough*   (I’m not over it yet..or.. maybe never.)

Songs of Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Review; Part 1

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So this series of review is really just based on the Cast Album and not so much the show itself, that is not say I won’t say anything about the stage production if there is video of it available. Also at this point I haven’t heard the whole album in its entirety.

Olim – Olim is the  actually the first bit of music heard in the Disney movie version and honestly I’m not sure why it’s a separate track. It seems unnecessary to me. Maybe it’s because of the dramatic tone of the opening to what is now The Bells of Notre Dame is different.

All in All it’s the same of the film counterpart, Georgian chanting in Latin. And if your curious the lyrics are; “Once, long ago, God arrived, In this age of brightness, He will come again.” It’s not “Here comes a lion, Father, Oh yes, it’s a lion” but it’s okay.

Michael Arden as Quasimodo, Musical Production of Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Michael Arden as Quasimodo, Musical Production of Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Bells of Notre Dame – A part of me wants to like this song more than I do since I love the movie version. Like in the movie we’re given the backstory of Quasimodo and Frollo but it’s very different as it tries to amalgamate the movie with the book. So first difference we are introduced to Frollo’s younger brother Jehan which is like book. Also like the book Jehan is a wild child. Jehan is sent away from Notre Dame for sneaking a Gyspy Girl into the Chruch so Frollo could get some.  Unlike the book Jehan is the father of Quasimodo. The mother was Gypsy girl, the same one who Jehan brought into the church. As Jehan is dying he begs Frollo to look after the child and he does and give him the cruel name, unlike the book where it was Quasimodo sunday.

I do like that they brought Jehan into the picture and they’re right that  reason why Frollo took in little Quasimodo was out love for his brother but it’s sort of trite here. Book Frollo did it out empathy for a child that had no one because his brother had been in almost same position and here in this musical he does it as a cross to bear out a sense of guilt. Also I don’t like that they have that familial connect of uncle and nephew. It takes away something from their relationship at least for me.

But wait there is more. In the movie when Frollo is chasing down Quasimodo’s mother there is this swell of dramatic music that fits that part perfectly. They have that same music in this version as Frollo is walking with baby Quasimodo but so out place. I really couldn’t tell if Frollo was thinking killing baby Quasimodo or what. It’s jarring and should not have been there despite that fact that it’s awesome music.

The Chorus singing the parts instead of Clopin was interesting not bad just different. BUT one thing I can not and I mean CAN NOT forgive is how they pronounce Jehan. They say like Jay-AN. It’s not inherently wrong but they over emphasis the sounds. They could have just said John. I mean they didn’t keep Phoebus’ last name so what difference does it really make? They call him Phoebus de Martin not sure why since he had a last in the book and plus they missed a great pun by adding that R. He could have been Sun of Morning, Phoebus de Matin. And yet they get Clopin’s last name correct.

Anyway, it’s a good opening that does tries to be a good blend of movie and book it just missed it a bit for me.

 

Out There –  Out There isn’t at all different than its movie counterpart, they play it straight. One thing I did like is the difference of Arden’s voice when he singing the part with Frollo vs his solo. Where he sound more deaf and unsure in Frollo’s presence and then more refined one his own. The movie did this too to a degree but Quasimodo was just meek and timid.  It’s a fine version. I will say that song is a little weird considering Quasimodo didn’t seem that interested earlier in the scene. Like he wasn’t the type to really care to remember  the town’s people’s faces. Still a nice version it’s just a disconnect between the book and the movie.

Edward Scissorhands Review; So many Feels

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Edward Scissorhands picture image

Edward Scissorhands

If you had to think of a live action fairy tale movie that seamlessly connected a modern setting with a tried and true fairy storyline you can’t get much better than 1990’s Edward Scissorhands. It was directed by none other than Tim Burton and is romantic gothic romance. It’s sort of a Beauty and the beast, Pinocchio, Hunchback tale.

It’s a cult classic and is considered by many to one of Burton better movies but how does it hold up?

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands & Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs Edward Scissorhands picture image

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands

The plot is fairly simple and straightforward and I assume everyone pretty knows it at this point but here it is. Avon rep, Peg Boggs one day goes to a creepy mansion high up on a hill. There she meets a young man named Edward who has scissors for hands. Edward becomes the hot topic of all the bored suburban housewives. Edward is also shown to be a very creative person as he makes lovely whimsical topiaries and gives imaginative hair cuts to the women and their dogs. Edward develops a interest in Peg’s daughter Kim.

Things are going great for Edward till one of the housewives, Joyce, tries to put the moves on him. Edward, in his innocents is confuses and walks out but Joyce lies and says he tried to rape her. Things get even worse when Kim’s jerk-face boyfriend, Jim, gets Edward to break into his own house. Edward knew it was Jim’s house but it for Kim. As a result the Bogg’s are outcast of the neighborhood.

On the night of the Bogg’s annual Christmas party Jim and his buddy get drunk and go the Bogg’s house. They nearly run over Kim’s brother, Kevin. Edward saves him but it looked to the close-minded suburbanites that Edward was attacking the boy. Kim tells Edward to run. He goes back up to the mansion. Kim follows as does Jim. Jim tries to fight Edward and as Jim knocks Kim to the floor Edwards punches Jim through the chest killing him. Kim then lies to the suburbanites that Edward and Jim killed each other in hopes that they will leave the mansion allow.

The movie end with Kim as an old woman telling her grand-daughter that the reason why there is snow is because Edward is carving his ice up at the mansion.

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands & Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs Edward Scissorhands picture image

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands & Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs

The plot is simple but in its simplicity it tells a very nice yet deep tale or acceptance and prejudice. That being said the plot is one of the weaker aspects of this movie. Not saying ti’s not good or heartfelt but given the other aspects of the movie it weakest. The Premise is good and imaginative as is the juxtaposition of the bright yet fake suburbanites against the innocent monochromatic Edward. Having the simple beauty and the beast tale was a good move but it a little too on the nose.

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands Edward Scissorhands picture image

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands

Like the plot the characters are presented simply and yet the are fairly complex. The only character that is dynamic in that they change is Kim. She starts out not really liking Edward that much to falling in love. Edward is probably the most interesting character, as he looks weird with his weapon hands but is all sweetness and innocence but can’t touch things with out destroying them even if it’s transformative, making him compelling.

The Suburban jerks are all jerks but you’re not meant to like them. Only the Boggs are cool.

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands Edward Scissorhands picture image

Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands

One of the things that is great about this movie is the way Burton uses pale pastel colors to make Edward pop against the colors. It just adds a level of whimsy to the look of this movie.

One of the best aspects of this movie is the music. It was done by Danny Elfman. Who does get all misty eyes when they hear Ice Dance? The whole score of the movie is just lovely and fits the tone perfectly while adding that whimsical bittersweetness.

Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs Edward Scissorhands picture image

Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs

Edward Scissorhands is a perfect example of combining classic fairy tropes with a modern setting. It’s magical and quite Bittersweet. It’s also a great Chirstmas movie.

Just a side note these Live Action Fairy Tale reviews are wrapping up this month, only three left.

Crackpot Theory; Are Quasimodo and Esmeralda related?

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Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The internet is full of crackpot theories. My favorite ones deal with either Game of Thrones and Star Wars. But then I read this crackpot theory, Could Anna and Elsa be Quasimodo’s Ancestors, which I don’t have to say is all kinds of wrong. But it got me thinking about my own crackpot theories and I thought of one that isn’t probably that super original or out there but it seems like it could be totally true, Are Quasimodo and Esmeralda related???

Quasimodo's Mother Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo’s Mother Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

This theory only takes in to account the Disney version, since book wise it’s not true.  The first piece of evidence is the woman known as Quasimodo’s mother. She was a Gypsy woman who died protecting Quasimodo from Frollo.  I will say that it is unknown if she is actually Quasimodo’s biological mother or not given the difference of skin tone but MAYBE Quasimodo’s skin tone is part of his deformity. It’s possible so let’s just say, YES she is 100% his mother and Quasimodo’s parents are both Gypsies.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre dame

Now I bet you’re saying, just because Quasimodo is a Gypsy and so is Esmeralda, it doesn’t make them relatives and YES, you are correct, that is not enough but I have other evidence, and it’s more compelling, eye color.

There are only FOUR characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame that actually have eye colors. Those “characters” are Quasimodo, Esmeralda, that little girl who hugs Quasimodo at the end and if you look REALLY closely Quasimodo’s mother. Everyone else has black eyes including Phoebus and Frollo.  I’m going at one a limb and say that the little girl’s eye color reflects more of her innocent and is the expectation that proves the rule.

Eye color is not as simple as Mendel thought but green eyes are a recessive trait meaning both parents need to carry the gene. Now it looks like Quasimodo’s Mother has a dark blue color and it is possible for a blue-eyed parent to have green-eyed baby. The green eyes link Quasimodo and Esmeralda. It could be as simple as links them both a outcasts but then why both adding that touch color to Quasimodo’s Mother?  Their same color eyes links them in a world full of black eyes.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda reading Quasimodo’s palm Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

So how are they related? I would say they are not siblings as Esmeralda was not with Quasimodo’s parents when they tried to entered Paris. It’s possible but very unlikely. I would say they are more likely cousins. And if they are cousins it makes it better that they are a couple. Plus Esmeralda treats Quasimodo with a type of older sister affection and Quasimodo treats Esmeralda school-boy crush.  They are better as friends.

 

What do you think? Do you think Quasimodo and Esmeralda could be related? And do have or know of any good, crazy or bad Hunchback theories?