The Hunchblog of Notre Dame

11Feb 2016

Big Fish Review; Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!

by jess

Big Fish

Big Fish is 2003 movie by Tim Burton based on the 1998 novel of the same name by Daniel Wallace. It looks at the father-son relationship as well as storytelling. The fairy tale elements are woven into the story the father tells which creates a nice somewhat fluid narrative though this movie is not without its flaws.

Ewan McGregor as Edward Bloom & Alison Lohman as Sandra

This movie presents a very simple story in a very complicated manner. Very simply, it’s about a man who is trying to reconcile his father’s tall tales with his real life. In hearing the stories and seeking them out he learns that there is a half true to them but the impossible and grand stories are better to leave behind as a legacy. Of course the stories feature things like, giants, conjoined twins, werewolves, witches, mermaids and a very creepy yet happy town.

Ewan McGregor as Edward Bloom

The biggest thing about this movie is that all the stories were true to a far degree just mostly exaggerated to give them more importance and so that the father would in a sense live on through the stories. However this movie despite it grandness in a normal life is predictable and doesn’t offer any surprises. Is that a bad thing? No, but it worth noting and by the film’s own admission it complicates a simple story.

Albert Finney as Edward Bloom & Billy Crudup as Will Bloom

In a weird way this movie with its dreamy story vignettes would make you think this story wasn’t about the characters. And while the technicals stand out more than the characters, I would say this should be a character piece at least it’s about the father and son, but no one else really has a personality.

In fact the father, Edward Bloom has two personalities. Older Ed seems to only want to tell his stories and talk about himself while the younger version is a people person who wants to help. Both are ambitious and want to be “Big Fish” but I can’t really reconciles my mind around these two facets and I’m left not really liking either of them.

The son Will is a complainer. He wants the truth but he can’t handle the truth. Actually the truth is boring. Really he just the foil to his dad and nothing else. Though I did like the touch that he is a reporter, where he has to report the facts as they are.

Ewan McGregor as Edward Bloom

The de-facto star of the movie are the technicals. It is a really lovely and dream-like in the shots and cinematography. The use of colors of bright and cheerful for the stories and darker for hard realities. It’s a great movie to watch.

The acting is mostly good but nothing amazing, though listening to Ewan McGregor do a Southern accent made me think of Vivien Leigh, though didn’t he use a Southern accent in Down with Love, which I saw on a plane.

Also The Danny Elfman score is very Elfman-eseque which is lovely, fitting to the story and predictable.

Albert Finney as Edward Bloom & Jessica Lange as Sandra Bloom

Big Fish is a lovely movie though it has its issues it well paced and is touching.

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10Feb 2016

Notre Dame de Paris Costumes in Fashion Form

by jess

I know very little about fashion, most of the time I dress is sweats because I like being comfortable and warm which are the stereotypical banes of fashion. But I had an idea for a blog post which I will do at the end of the month but the idea gave me another idea finding a high fashion/couture evening gown that was similar to Disney Esmeralda’s costume but in that up I found more which resembled the Notre Dame de Paris costume which I know most people don’t really like and have gown down recently. So here are some gowns that resemble the costume wore by Esmeralda and Fleur de Lys.

Oddly these are all Ellie Saab which I swear was not intentional.

Emerald Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2012

Esmeralda’s costume is a weird green color with some kind of print be it abstract or floral. It has a v-neck with asymmetrical bell sleeves. There is also sequins or beads on it. Ideally the costume should move when but that is not always the case. This gown has a lot of the basics down. The color is so perfect that is Emerald. Sleeves are tough to come by in gown so that is a pass but this one does have caps so that is something. Just take away that belt and add a slit and this would be perfect.

Green Gown by Elie Saab Eall-Winter 2013-2014

As an alternate, and yes there are a lot more gowns out there that would fit the bill but for today with other one by Elie Saab would do nicely. It’s a darker color of green but that is fine. This one also has the plunging v-neck and the beading creates a nice pattern. I like this one because it looks like it have more movement than the other one but that is due to the cut. Though again, gotta lose the belt though it doesn’t bother me as much.

Blush Gown Elie Saab Spring 2011 picture image

Blush Gown by Elie Saab Spring 2011

This gown really inspired the post. This one just to me captures Fleur de Lys from Notre Dame de Paris. It has a grace and primness but there is more to than just a good noble lady. I just wish the bottom was a little bit different not because it’s not pretty but that type of slit is so Esmeralda. It could work for Fleur de Lys given the waistline though and her more edgy moments in the musical.

Also speaking as someone who likes the original Esmeralda costume, I really don’t like a lot more recent remakes. The shortness doesn’t look good it, just weird and the print which tries to mimic the original never looks as interesting. I think some better update need to be down,

09Feb 2016

The Secret of the Hunchback Song 3; The Villain Song

by jess

Frollo

I don’t know what to call this song, it’s basically Frollo stating who he is, what he wants and how godlike he is. He wants simply everything, who can’t relate to that?

I really enjoy this song. It’s so hammy and over-the-top that is just an utter delight. I think the voice actor/singer is REALLY having fun with this song. Frollo is just power hungry ego-manic and that makes for a good villain with a silly song.

This is song is far too short.

Props to the singer for saying Forte correctly, A+. Also I want to point out that all the singers sing very well which is unlike the Jetlag version, that guy’s raspy voice still annoys me.

04Feb 2016

The Secret of Moonacre review; Pearls and Ponies!

by jess

The Secret of Moonacre

The Secret of Moonacre is a 2008 girly fantasy movie aimed at young girls who like jewelry and horses. It’s based on a book by Elizabeth Goudge called The Little White Horse. Now while I like jewelry and horses, I admit I’m not the target demographic. However this movie knows who it’s aiming at and there is Tim Curry in it so it’s not all bad. Also I’m really trying to resist making a Sailor Moon joke.

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria & Natascha McElhone as Loveday

Movie starts off with a newly Orphan tween girl Maria getting a historic book and then sent off to the country to live with her uncle in a manor house that is falling apart, though she gets an awesome bedroom, seriously it’s magical. Maria soon learns that her family, The Merryweathers, have an ancient grudge with a rival family, the De Noir. It started when one of the daughter of De Noir was given a necklace of pearls by the moon. She was about to marry a Merryweather but the family fought over the pearls so she put a curse on them, that if the pearls were not returned to the sea before the 5000th moon by another Moon Princess who is pure of heart then the valley would be plunged into eternal darkness. So Maria has to race against the full moon to save the valley from the two families’ pride.

Natascha McElhone as The Moon Princess & Ioan Gruffudd as Sir Wrolf

In this movie a “moon princess” is marked by the fact that she can see a magical white horse, so that and the fact the whole plot boils down to pearls, mixed in some pretty costumes with nice sets and you have a movie that six to ten years old will love. But there is something a bit more going on here than just little girl wish fulfillment.

There is a proverb that goes “Pride comes before the fall” meaning that overconfidences leads to destruction and that is very overtly what is happening in the movie. Everyone’s pride gets in the way of ending the feud between the two families and they are willing to let their valley get destroyed because of their pride. It is only fixed when Maria actually throws herself into the sea so the pearls can be return that they let their pride go.

To most adults this moral is very much a slap in the face but it’s not that bad for children. It addressed to them in easy to understand manner.

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria Merryweather, Juliet Stevenson as Miss Heliotrope, Michael Webber as Digweed and Andy Linden as Marmaduke Scarlet The Secret of Moonacre picture image

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria, Juliet Stevenson as Miss Heliotrope, Michael Webber as Digweed and Andy Linden as Marmaduke Scarlet

So what are the character like? They are not very interesting or deep. I would say Maria doesn’t have much of a personality as she is nice and curious but her curiosity is the result of a weird house and getting the plot to move forward. Probably the most interesting characters are Loveday, what a name, and her brother, Robin.

Loveday is interesting because she a weird bohemian that lives in the woods and her pride is a weird combination shyness and a broken heart. She also keeps a lot of animals in her dwelling. Robin is really the only character who seems to get a slight arc as he starts off as a bad guy but helps Maria out and even seems to like her romantically a little bit.

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria Merryweather & Augustus Prew as Robin de Noir The Secret of Moonacre picture image

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria & Augustus Prew as Robin

The style of this movie has a very shabby chic dreamy and for lack of a better description fairy tale. The shabbiness of the house is a plot point but it does add some interest however there are some very weird style choices. For instance all the costume have weird textures to them that sometimes look cool but mostly it looks awkward. Like Maria’s bustles that look like shelves, most of Loveday’s costumes and Robin’s feather chocker where the feathers look like spikes. There is a nice organic look to the costumes but mostly they look unpleasant. Though I want Maria’s Saturn necklace.

The acting is what you would expect for a movie aimed at little girls. It’s cheesy and over the top but it’s serviceable. No one here is out to win any awards but they do their best with the material.

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria Merryweather & Ioan Gruffudd as Sir Benjamin Merryweather The Secret of Moonacre picture image

Dakota Blue Richards as Maria & Ioan Gruffudd as Sir Benjamin

The Secret of Moonacre is perfectly adequate children fantasy movie. It spelled out a moral with cute and pretty things and if you need more than that this movie isn’t really for you.

March 2023 Update- I recently rewatched this movie for a costume ranking involving burgundy costumes from fantasy movies. Mostly I stand by my opinion on this movie though the acting was not as “serviceable” as it recalled. I mean it’s fine not great but that could have a directing thing more than the actors. I have soften on the costumes though, I don’t hate the exposed caged bustle.

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03Feb 2016

Hellfire in Korean

by jess

02Feb 2016

The Secret of the Hunchback Song 2; Take your Cares and toss â€™em (The Gargoyle song)

by jess

Gargoyles sing to Quasimodo,The Secret of the Hunchback

If you had known two things about Secret of the Hunchback going before now it would have been Quasimodo is an angel and the singing “Jazzy” Gargoyles. Clearly this is what inspired Josh Brolin with his failed “jazzy” Hunchback movie.

This song is sung by a Gargoyle in Quasimodo’s dream, so unlike Disney this movie makes it clear that the Gargoyles aren’t real except when they cry, confusion. The subject matter on this song is just what you think, Quasimodo is awesome, fuck looks. The Gargoyle uses phrases like “out of sight,” and “doo-wa” to get this point across.

My God is this song just out of left field in terms of style. It’s Jazzy with its “Doo-was” and electric piano and cello that they back-up gargoyles are playing. One could make the argument that Disney’s Gargoyles did this but they were more consistent throughout their movie, here it’s like a weird WTF slap in the face.

It’s a harmless dumb song but my brain can’t really process the utter dumbness of Doo-was and sunglass wearing Gargoyles for a few minutes.

Also this song feels much longer than it is, I blame the Jazz-y-ness.

28Jan 2016

Black Swan Review; Itâ€™s an Edgy Ballet

by jess

Black Swan

If Red Shoes and Perfect Blue had a baby it would the 2010 movie, Black Swan. It’s a movie that looks at the break down of a young ballerina in her quest to be perfect which is set against a metaphoric and literal retelling of Swan Lake. Let’s just say I hate respect this movie.

Natalie Portman as Nina

The plot follows Nina Sayers, who is a young woman trapped in childhood by a fairly controlling mother. Nina wants to play the lead in the her ballet company’s new production of Swan Lake where the innocent white swan and the seductive black swan are played by the same dancer. Nina doesn’t have the inner sexiness to play the black swan but lands the role after kissing/biting the head of the ballet. She then thrown into a paranoia spiral of trying to become a more sexual person at the cost of killing her innocence self all while thinking that another lady in the company, Lily, is replacing her. But in the end she does away with the perfect little girl for the imperfect sexual woman and find she was perfect.

Natalie Portman as Nina

So what don’t I like about this movie? Well in my humble opinion, the movie tries WAY too hard to be edgy and artistic that is just comes off as pretentious. It just has some downright unpleasant imaginary which really just a style thing so if you like this style, that is cool, I just think it tries way too hard that it became almost cute in a way.

Along the same lines there is the editing. The editing plays with reality and Nina’s crazy fantasies to the point were you really can’t trust anything that the movie presents or the characters. There is the 1994 French movie called L’Enfer which has this sort of editing but I prefer this style of editing in that movie because the rest of the technicals are kept simple. Another movie that plays with weird editing as part of the narrative is the 1999 Japanese movie Audition, which I don’t recommend. In that movie a scene is shown twice with different dialogue to show one character is not listening to what the other character was telling him. Again that is just me and my preferences. Though when I first saw Black Swan I had recently seen L’Enfer so I liked it in Black Swan more but on a second viewing is came off as really gimmicky.

Natalie Portman as Nina

Also I don’t care for the characters. Black Swan is a character study of a dancer going crazy with a fairy tale woven throughout. Besides Nina’s perfection tendencies and being girly we don’t know that much about her. We know that she got into ballet because of her mother but that isn’t that much. We pretty much meet her and she starts going cuckoo. She couldn’t go a twenty minutes without the crazies starting. Now she did have the scratching habit and an eating disorder (I think) before but is that enough for very quick mental decline based on playing a dual role and taking a method style acting before she even starting rehearsing? I don’t think so, she just starts off crazy.

The other character are also one note, either sexy or prudes. The only character that has a little more than nothing going on is Beth a.k.a the dying Swan. A ballerina who is getting too old to dance and tries to commit suicide because Nina in a sense replaced her.

Natalie Portman as Nina (white swan)

Now I get that the reason for the simple characters is that they are all dual role with character from the ballet and ballets aren’t know for their true to life characters and this duality is some thing I like. I like how the movie merged Swan Lake with a story about crazy dancer trying to be perfect while not being perfect. The duality of the white swan being childhood and innocence and killing that aspect and embracing a budding powerful sexuality to be a whole person is interesting. And the prince/Ballet head guy choosing the woman (black swan) over the child (white swan) is clever.

Natalie Portman as Nina (black swan)

Despite the pretentious of this movie, it is really well down, though all the following Nina shots got old fast but it’s still a well crafted movie that does keep one guessing.

Though I gotta say I really loved the costumes, especially the ballet costumes. But the costumes fit into the simple nature of the characters. Mostly they all wear black and Nina where mostly whites and pinks and then shift to dark grays. I really liked Nina’s white gown but I love the Black Swan crown. I love how dark yet organic is it which is a combo you don’t see very often.

Natalie Portman as Nina becoming the black swan

Black Swan is a polorzing movie, some people love it and others loath it. I can seem both sides which is why I hate respect Black Swan.

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27Jan 2016

Esmeralda’s Skin Tone

by jess

Painting of Esmeralda and Djali by Wilhelm Marstrand

Get ready to be confuse because I know I am. Skin has three tones; Cool, Warm or Neutral. No matter your skin color you’re one of these these tones. Cool means you have a blue tint to your skin, you burn easily and your veins look more blue. Warm means you have green tint and your veins look green. Neutral skin tone means you have the bluer veins but you don’t burn as easily, I think . However it’s very hard to REALLY judge the whole green vs blue veins and also I’m far from being an expert on skin tone, I can’t figure out my own skin tone. But we’re not here to take about me, no we’re here to figure out Esmeralda’s skin tone using the book.

Victor Hugo surprising did give a few clues about Esmeralda’s skin tone though I’m sure that was not his intention at all and I’m reading way too much into the words he wrote back in 1831. So let’s begin.

Frollo at one point comments on Esmeralda’s blue veins. Blue Veins means she would have a cool tone. But there is more. There is some evidence that Esmeralda’s golden skin that resembles Roman and/or Spanish women is the result of tanning or being outside a lot. Which means she more than likely tans easily and doesn’t burn as much which points to a warm tone. But more than that, Hugo says Esmeralda has a Golden Skin tint.

So either Esmeralda has warm tone and Frollo misidentified the color of her veins OR she has a fairly medium neutral skin tone. Of course with all her depictions in media she runs the gambit of skin tones.

26Jan 2016

The Secret of the Hunchback Song 1; Something More than this

by jess

Esmeralda

Ok, let’s be real, on the spectrum of songs that could be in a Hunchback movie there is one end that is Disney and Notre Dame de Paris i.e good songs and then there are the songs on the level of the rapping dog from Titanic The legend goes on or what that shit was called or the shitty songs. The Secret of the Hunchback songs falls closer to the rapping dog end but it’s much better the songs from the Jetlag version or Enchanted Tales.

The First song in this version is Esmeralda’s something more song and literally those are lyrics. This is unquestionably stupid, I mean they didn’t even try to hide the trope. She literally wants more than her current life offers. Though in her shallow naivety she just wants nice stuff and a cute boys which feels very in line with book Esmeralda.

This overt song should bother me more but I like that the “Something more” is sing by one of the Goons who sings the line with regards to stealing more from people, which is cute. But it’s sung well and the music is fun. So sure it’s dumb but it’s sort of delightful and short.

25Jan 2016

The Phantom of the Opera, the Argento Version

by jess

Julian Sands as The Phantom & Asia Argento as Christine Daae

One thing I will say about the 2004 version is that it is not the worst version of The Phantom of the Opera. This isn’t even an opinion because I can guarantee that if you ask anyone they will say the 1998 Italian Horror version directed by Dario Argento is the worse movie version. This version is just downright weird and unpleasant.

In this version the Phantom is NOT deformed, instead he was raised by rats and he has a little bit of a fetish for them. This raises so many questions as he speaks normally, plays musics, wears clothes etc, Did the rats teach him all that. Also considering that the deformity is what cause him his isolation and his madness, where does it come from? This movie doesn’t even get the basics right.

Christine is also very much into the Phantom and his weird sense of pick-up lines. He also rapes her. This is not a creditable version in the slightest.

There is SO many weird off-putting side plots and visual that leave with a sense that your brain is being evaporated through your eyes.

Please Don’t Watch this movie!

Site Note- To deal with some burn-out have been going through, I’m taking a brief break from posting on Mondays.

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