The Hunchblog of Notre Dame

21Jan 2016

Ondine Review: The Power Sigur Ros is strong

by jess

Ondine

Ondine is a 2009 modern telling of not so much a fairy-tale but more of the concept of Selkies. Selkies are a mystical creature that are like seals in the water but assume human form on land and if they are like the film’s idea of the they have a lot of rules.

Colin Farrell as Syracuse & Alicja Bachleda as Ondine

Ondine is about a down on his luck Irish fisherman, Syracuse who is a recovering alcoholic. He is divorced and his daughter has kidney failure, I know what a cliche. One day he pulls up a lady in this nets who doesn’t want to be seen by anyone. She goes by the name Ondine Also his luck starts turning around as he he catches more lobster and other big fish. Syracuse and his daughter, Annie start really thinking Ondine is a seal maiden but this story has a twist to it, which I won’t spoil.

Though they never explain how Syracuse caught those Salmon

Colin Farrell as Syracuse, Alicja Bachleda as Ondine & Alison Barry as Annie

So while it turns out Ondine isn’t a selkie the movie REALLY plays up that she is till Syracuse hears the song she had been singing the whole time is real-world song by Sigur Ros. So if you don’t know that she isn’t one the movie gives some world magical coincidences that point it being true, the movie tricks you.

And I will say that the big reveal/climax and ending are a little weird and silly in not the best way.

Alicja Bachleda as Ondine

But why does Ondine play that she is a selkie? She doesn’t really deny it. The reason is she wants to escape her sordid life and gives in to the fantasy that Annie and Syracuse come up with to explain it. I should make it clear, the idea that she is a Selkie comes from a hypothetical story that Syracuse tells Annie and she say “oh the story you’re telling is a about a selkie.” This gives the story and the way the characters operate in the story fell organic even though they are flawed.

The shots of the Irish ocean and seaside are lovely. It has a very monochrome color palette that works for the story. There is also a understated rustic bohemian style. The acting is fine on the whole, nothing feels unnatural.

Alicja Bachleda as Ondine

Ondine is a take on the selkie myth with interesting characters and a story that doesn’t speak down the audience, though the ending is rather weird.

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20Jan 2016

Hypothetical Casting for Quasimodo; Rupert Grint

by jess

Rupert Grint

Rupert Grint was suggested by Neala897 to play Quasimodo. Grint is most known for playing Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter film series. So let me just make a VERY unpopular statement, I’m not a big fan of Harry Potter. I have seen most of the movies but the story and characters never captured me. I don’t hate it but it’s not my thing.

Rupert Grint

One thing that Grint has going for him in my opinion is that he is young. You can’t know how tired I am of seeing 40 years old actors playing Quasimodo. So the idea of a younger actor playing Quasimodo is great. Also he already has the red hair so double perk. Also base looks for Quasimodo don’t matter that much since the make-up should do the work on that score.

Rupert Grint as Johnny in Moonwalkers

But Quasimodo isn’t so much about the make-up, it’s a physical and emotional role filled with a ton of pathos. Considering Grint played Ron, who is more comedic and his lasted role in Moonwalkers, Grint does comedy role more but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t pull off the role. I think with right director and script, he could pull off Quasimodo.

Rupert Grint

I would say all things considered, Rupert Grint wouldn’t be my top pick to play Quasimodo but he would be a fine Quasimodo especially over all the over 40 year old dudes who want to place the role for vanity.

19Jan 2016

The Secret of the Hunchback Character Summary

by jess

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo

Like as the case with MOST version of Hunchback aimed at kids the characters are overly-simplictic water down versions of the book characters mixed with touched of Disney. This version isn’t that much different except with regards to Frollo who is more of a copy of the Enchanted Tales version of Gaston. None of the characters are deep, they are just blandly nice, which makes them uninteresting.

Is it because these movies are for kids and kids don’t need as complex of characters? I don’t think that is true. While I think kids might have a higher level of torrence for bland nice character they still can gauge that they lack personalities. But the REAl reason why these are lack anything that makes the interesting save for the weird humor is this movie is a keep crash grab off of Disney and bland characters are easier to create as no thought goes into being a nice person. One can’t just be nice.

Let’s just take any character from Moomins which is aimed at children too. All the characters are generally nice but they have other facets of their personality. Moomin is naive and adventure seeking, Little My is rude and Snork Maiden is vain. They all have flaws and that adds to the likable. Quasimodo’s only flaw is that he is ugly but aside from Frollo none of the other character have flaws, though Gringoire is delightfully bad a poetry.

So these character are boring version of the book characters/Disney. And yet they aren;r version of these character, Dingo and Enchated Tales are far worse.

Next Time we’re looking at the shitty songs

18Jan 2016

The Phantom of the Opera 2004 Musical

by jess

Gerald Butler as The Phantom & Emmy Rossum as Christine Daae

It’s a little unfair to discuss this movie against the book as it’s a movie version of the famous musical version of the book. It’s one degree off from anything related to the book, so instead let’s just discuss the movie for what it is, a lovely little mess.

On the whole it’s visually a pretty movie but it made a lot of bad technical and casting choices that make not a good adaptation of the musical adaptation of the book. Let’s just start with the big one, the Phantom. They got very little right about his character. First off the decide to skew younger with casting Gerald Butler and gave him a rock edge. Second the deformity is really minimal. I get that one idea they had is humanize aspect of the musical. Like all the Phantom’s tricks and genius illusions are explainable but in making his deformity which kept him apart and unloved by society no more than a bad sunburn and a slight droop in his eye is childish. Also compared to other singers of the Phantom, Butler doesn’t measure up. So we have a good looking Phantom who can’t sing and the is the major converse of his character.

As far as Emmy Rossum as Christine, I’m not a fan of how she sung the role but as far as looking innocent and doe-eyed she was fine. I do wish they and gotten someone else though but considering the casting on the Phantom especially when Ramin Karimloo (favorite Phantom) was cast in the movie as Christine’s father.

More than the questionable casting this movie despite it’s prettiness make some weird choices. For instance the Marquerade scene is all monochromatic despite the songs saying their are colors everywhere and Christine’s not in costume. Why is her Opera costume Empress Sissi and not like the other costumes prior? I could go on and on and on. Those are little things that take a person out the movie especially when you’re supposed to lots in feels.

The emotions that lost in this movie version are partly being the filmmaker made everything more subtle because it’s a movie. The subtly how the emotions present makes it harder to connect so it really just become boring and with the odd choice and weird casting it become a mess albeit a shallow pretty mess.

14Jan 2016

Sydney White Review; Being a Dork in this world means you’re not mean?

by jess

Sydney White

In the scope of movies, this shit isn’t the worst thing ever made by humans but it comes so close. Sydney White is “modern” retelling of Snow White from 2007. It’s tries really hard to be funny, clever and delightful that it is unsettling, beyong dumb and painfully unlikable.

Amanda Bynes as Sydney with The Seven Dorks

If you want to know the plot it’s Snow White but in college with frats and sororities. But instead of evil witch, it’s bitchy rich sorority girl, instead of a magic mirror it’s a Myspace list, instead of dwarfs they are dorks and instead of a poisoned apple it’s a Mac that gets a virus. The virus mac really only pads out the movie for like a minute and half. Really she does what every other college student has to do, write a paper the night before it’s due, and she does, great conflict there movie.

Also the Prince’s last name is Prince, ZOMG is so fucking CLEVER. And the bitch blonde girl’s last name is Witchburn. My mind is blown by this movie’s cleverness. Pfffffft.

Amanda Bynes as Sydney and Sara Paxton as Rachel Witchburn

This movie operates on tried boring stereotypes. Like that all rich blondes who care about their looks and like designer labels are terrible people, it’s like Clueless and Legally Blonde never existed. Or all “dorks” are all a socially awkward losers with allergies. And cool girls are like dudes, in that they read comics and know football. And popular guys are normal and like video games.

It is interesting to watch this movie in nearly a decade later as the “dorks” are more socially acceptable. Like making video game is great and Star Wars Episode 7 is the highest grossing movie ever. But the climax is everyone saying they are dork, yay fitting in? It’s dumb.

Also Syndey herself as mention is one those chill, nice, pretty girls who is more like a dube-bro. But the films tries to make her comfortable with the dorks by making her like “comics” BUT there isn’t a SINGLE scene of her reading one. She just has them and refers to the once or twice same with football. She is a jock and that makes her attractive in the movie world. But women who like being “feminine” are “bitchy” and “shallow.” This a girl-power movie at it’s most superficial from the male-gaze.

Amanda Bynes as Sydney and Matt Long as Tyler Prince

So the characters are all one dimensional ass-hats even the so-called likable ones, so the real question is that since the plot is just Snow White at college with stall characters right out of script from the early 1980’s how are the technicals. Well, the acting is shit. It feels likes VERY sitcom circa 1980’s. But with Bynes’ acting I couldn’t not made a distinction between her being snarky, sarcastic and nice.

Also what was up with Sydney’s tan? It was distracting and not even from the source material angle, she just looked orange. So the technicals sucked.

Amanda Bynes as Sydney with two dorks Sydney White picture image

Amanda Bynes as Sydney with two of the Dorks

I pretty hated everything about Sydney White, but more than that I hated that some wrote this thinking they were being clever, funny and charming and got paid money and have a career. I hate that shit like this gets made when there are literally thousands of more talented people writing better stories, scripts and characters on fan-fictions site.

Also Kappas are a creature from Japanese Folklore. They are a River Imp.

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13Jan 2016

Secret of the Hunchback the Priests: 90% Nice & 10% Sassy

by jess

The Archdeacon and Brother Labas with Baby Quasimodo

The Priests a.k.a unnamed Archdeacon and brother Labas (not sure of spelling), are the only people who appear to work at Notre Dame and are Quasimodo’s care givers. This means that Quasimodo has two dads.

Both of them fulfill the role of Frollo’s parental/priest roles from the book, though why there are two of them, I couldn’t tell you. If I had to venture a guess I would say it was more for comedy. The Archdeacon is more the less the straight-man to Lebas, though the aren’t exactly funny, except for the scene where Frollo is threatening the church for shinies. Other than that there was no need for Brother Lebas.

They aren’t wholly nice as they don’t give in to Frollo and the Archdeacon saves himself when he is arrested. For their roles they are fine, they are not the annoying and they don’t get in the way despite Brother Lebas being a superfluous character.

11Jan 2016

The Phantom of the Opera 1987 Cartoon

by jess

1987 Animated cartoon Phantom of the Opera picture image

Erik, 1987 Animated cartoon Phantom of the Opera

That’s Right, my friends, In 1987 Emerald City Production made a straight to Video animated version of Phantom of the Opera riding the coat-tails of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. It’s a really good thing Disney didn’t make a Phantom in the mid-90’s because otherwise we would have gotten stuff on the line with all Hunchback knock-offs. Can you imagine a version of Phantom were he isn’t ugly, oh wait, they already did that (sort of), but enough about that, how is the animated version?

Compared to all the other versions, this version follows the book albeit really simplified, is about 40 minutes long. The character does have much development or even interest BUT Erik does get his redemptions and dies after Christine kisses him. Though instead of just a straight-up broken heart, he plays his organ in such a way that it makes the ceiling fall and crush him.

Also this version on the technical end of this is terrible. It’s cleared they had no budget. They is A TON of receptive animation and the movement on the character is so wooden that actually wood would have moved better. That being said I would rather watch this than the majority of the Hunchback knock-offs because this version of Phantom doesn’t speak down to it’s audience.

It’s a cheap yet by the book versions of Phantom. Would I recommend it? If you’re a fan of the book yeah but otherwise meh. It’s not a good version but nor is so bad that one should experience. Though it the most accurate version to Leroux’s novel.

07Jan 2016

A Cinderella Story Review; These kids have weak insult skills.

by jess

A Cinderella Story

A Cinderella Story is a by the book modern telling of Cinderella. It used to be a guilty-pleasure of mine. I know it’s dumb, cliched and very early 2000’s but really there something clumsy and likable about it that I don’t dislike it, I don’t it but this shit could be so much worst.

Hilary Duff as Sam & Chad Michael Murray as Austin

Story follows smart, down-earth Cinderella named Samantha in this movie. Of Course, in the trope of making her “likable,” Sam is more “guyish” as she doesn’t like fashion or girly stuff like her arch-rival, the popular bitchy mean girls, who prefer rice crackers to big macs. Anyway, she has the world bestest childhood evar, till her dad remarries and dies. She the does chores and works at a diner so she can go to Princeton, which is why she stays the awful people. Through a chat she meets the Prince character who is the popular guy at her high school. He plays football but also likes Lord Alfred Tennyson because it’s he is less well known than Shakespeare. Also her mean nickname is Diner Girl, real clever kids.

It’s pretty by the book, you have the godmother, who is Sam’s kick-ass manager, a cell phone fills in as the slipper. And instead of getting “marriedâ€˜ they both go off to New Jersey.

Hilary Duff as Sam and Regina King as Rhonda A Cinderella Story 2004 picture image

Hilary Duff as Sam & Regina King as Rhonda

I think the real reason I don’t dislike this movie as much as I probably know it, is the supporting cast sells the movie more than the leads. Like everyone but the leads are making the cast work, maybe because they don’t need to be likable and perfects and since Sam and Austin are bland and boring, there is nothing to work with for characterizations. But methinks Duff isn’t the most talent actress and a better actress could have made the dialogue more natural sounding.

Jennifer Coolidge as Fiona, Madeline Zima as Brianna, & Andrea Avery as Gabriella

The Technicals aren’t specials in any way. They feel a lot like Ella Enchanted with the cheesy styling. The camera work and editing is very basic. There isn’t much to it. This movie also seems to be ad for it’s soundtrack.

Hilary Duff as Sam & Dan Byrd as Carter

A Cinderella Story is like sugar-water, it’s too sweet, sappy and doesn’t have any substance but more or less harmless. I wish I disliked more.

This movie like next week’s movie has a be your self theme, which is trite and has been done a billion times because it’s easy yet seemingly genuine, very basic.

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06Jan 2016

Rin Plays Hunchback Of Notre Dame Games

by jess

Happy Feast of Fools Day!

Today we have a Let’s Play video from Rin. There are lots games. Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuMHcGvHJd4

Rin has lots of Hunchback videos so be sure to subscribe, I did!

« Previous 1 … 46 47 48 49 50 … 174 Next »

Ondine Review: The Power Sigur Ros is strong

Hypothetical Casting for Quasimodo; Rupert Grint

The Secret of the Hunchback Character Summary

The Phantom of the Opera 2004 Musical

Sydney White Review; Being a Dork in this world means you’re not mean?

Top Ten Best Posts of 2015

Secret of the Hunchback the Priests: 90% Nice & 10% Sassy

The Phantom of the Opera 1987 Cartoon

A Cinderella Story Review; These kids have weak insult skills.

Rin Plays Hunchback Of Notre Dame Games

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