Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

The Secret of the Hunchback’s Esmeralda is what I always want in an Esmeralda and it makes me mad that she is so boring.

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda with Pierre and masked Quasimodo

This Esmeralda is nice, likes dancing, generally pretty for the art design and execution of the animation but she also sassy. She really is like a fucking Disney princess, I mean she spins and sings about wanting more from life. Which is exactly what Princess Yum Yum did in Arabian Knight or The Thief and the Cobbler whatever it’s called. And while I do like these traits there is nothing going on under that puffy hair.

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

This Sassy Disney Princess type is what I think Esmeralda at her basic level should be for this kind of movie fair as it blends the Disney movie and the book.  However she is so bland. The most she does is says she was arrested for dancing, all sense of an interesting character is given away and then throw away in that one tiny line.

Esmeralda and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and Pierre

In the movie, Esmeralda is in league with these thieves and she dances as distracting. If you believe her little song, which why wouldn’t this movie isn’t complex, kindergarden math is more complex than this, but from her song she tells up that  she wants more out life. She is the arrested and made captive by Lord Frollo. She give Quasimodo water because she is nice and then Pierre Gringoire saves her. They fall in love  and she then gets kidnapped by Lord Frollo again and is forced into marrying him for why I don’t know. Quasimodo save her and that is it. At no point does she ever says how or why she teamed up with her companions. Ar they her family? We don’t know she hardly even talks to them and she doesn’t seem like them so yeah let’s just go with family.

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

The thing with Esmeralda is that in the book at least her shallowness and childishness  makes her interesting, it gives her a weird sense of a complex character. She is not a nice angel she in other versions. Being a nice character in a movie isn’t interesting because the creators want the audience to like the character they present.

As it Esmeralda in this movie has no sense of character because she has no growth, she is static and that makes her boring. Her only line about her dancing is one line and it not enough that they rest of screen time is just a nice pretty lady being nice and pretty. They are local commercials with more adevance character arcs.

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

I don’t hate her character because there isn’t anything to hate or like. Even her costume and design is a major yawn.

Next Time Frollo

Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback, picture image

Frollo singing, The Secret of the Hunchback

Chapter 13, A Master-Stroke of the Trap-Door Lover

Not a bad chapter, has a little bit of a slow start. The end is good with Christine Daae disappearance mid-show. Lights go off and she’s gone. A jump-cut must have gotten her though it’s book. It is interesting that Erik gave permission for the fake engagement. I also like Christine flipping out about the ring. The ring I don’t think ever makes into the films, well not a plain gold one given to by the Phantom. I could be and am probably wrong though and I’m just forgetting a movie that has it.

Really it’s no wonder why film makes don’t adapted the story more faithfully, Raoul is a boring stalker and Erik is more interesting. It a shame that we all pretty much know the story.

That is all I can really say about the one.

Chapter 14, The Singular Attitude of a Safety-Pin

I skimmed this one, I admit it. It was boring. Basically the characters just figure Christine run off with Raoul but most modern reader know she didn’t run off at all and not with Raoul. This chapter is for dum-dum who can’t figure it out.

Yeah this one is just dull.

Chapter 15, Christine! Christine!

Origianally when I was going to do this post I was going to cover two instead of three because I’m lazy but this chapter is short. It’s good though because I would have either had to done four next week or be off schedule.

Anyway this short chapter is Rauol going to gate that leads to the lake under the opera and meeting the Persian. Really that’s it. It’s quick and dull. I really just skimmed it. Hopefully it will pick up again soon.

The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

The Slipper and the Rose

The Slipper and the Rose is another title I randomly found. It was made in 1976 and it was based on a book of the same name. From what I can gather it was musical movie not based on a stage show, which was more of the standard back then. These days it’s more typical that movies are based of a pre-exiting stage show unless it’s Disney.

Anyway this is a Cinderella movie. So we have have seen intellectually ass-kicking Cinderella, a Gandhi type Cinderella and one who likes nuts but how does this one compare? Well Cinderella in this one is nice, as in the norm but this movie isn’t really Cinderella’s story it’s more about the Prince.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

The plot is quite simple but have some differences. Prince Edward of some made-up European country, Euphrania, is being pushed to marry a royal princess for both succession and secure an army. Edward however would rather marry for love and doesn’t fancy any of the princesses.

Meanwhile, Cinderella’s‘ father has died and she is pushed into serving for her mean stepmother and dum-dum step sisters. It was either that or go to an orphanage. One day Cinderella seeks off to her parents graves. She then spies on the Prince who does notice her. When she returns home her stepmother is mad at her and gives her a mountain of vegetables to prep. She then gets a visit from a woman who has magical powers who gives her a dog and while Cinderella’s back is turned finishes her prep work.

The King arranges a ‘Bride Finding Ball” for the Prince which he is not keen on but his  foppish cousin wants a lady. Also there is a subplot that Edward’s servant companion, John, is in love with a lady too far above him and his position in life makes him unable to anything about. The king extends invite to his subject to fill up the room. The stepmother and the step-sisters miss their chance to get new gowns she Cinderella is forced to rework old gowns into new ones. She doesn’t do a good job and the magical woman visits her again and she reveals she is a fairy Godmother. The Fairy Godmother does Cinderella work and stepmother and the girls are please. The Fairy Godmother decides to revisit Cinderella and decide she will borrow magic to get Cinderella to the ball. The magic has to be return at midnight so she must leave before then.

Cinderella makes her entrance as Princess. Edward falls instantly in love with her. They dance and bond for a little but she runs away at midnight and leaves her very dainty glass slipper. Edward does the customary slipper search but can’t find her. Three months later Edward makes a monument to his lost love. He then elevates John to a knight so he can go after his lady love. Edwards get mad and throw the slipper away off some tower.

Cinderella’s dog finds it and brings her to it. John sees Cinderella and tells Edward. Edward and Cinderella reunite and decide to get married. Edward asks the stepmother for permission which she grants and Cinderella forgives her which the stepmother doesn’t take kindly too.

The political implications of Edward marry a girl without the aid of a strong country backing her prompts the king to send Cinderella into exile. Cinderella then asks the Chamberlin to lie to Edward saying that she never loved him. Edward mad that he has lost his love twice says he will marry who ever father wants but the line ends with him.

On the day of Edward’s wedding, The Fairy Godmother sees Cinderella in exile saying this wasn’t her plan and now she will have to something spectacular. As Edward is getting married Cinderella comes down the aisle after the bride which causes a commation. The Fairy Godmother convinces the King to allow the marriage and makes it so Edward’s cousin and the Princess Edward was suppose to marry to fall in love. And thus Cinderella and Edward get married.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother

I knew nothing about this movie so I was very surprised to actually like it as much as I did. It’s very entertaining. Is it deep with developed characters? Yes and no. There isn’t much to Cinderella though she does have a bit of a mouth of her when the stepmother first made her a maid. She also doesn’t except anything from the ball and meeting the Prince. He wanted marriage and she wanted a fun night out, they make that clear. But this movie does give the Prince a.k.a Edward and the Fairy Godmother more to do.

A common complaint I have seen about the Fairy Godmother is that she only helped Cinderella go to ball after years of abuse. Here she does help her more than once and Cinderella wasn’t subject to years of indentured servitude, maybe nine months, tops. Also I like that movie gives a reason for why Cinderella must leave before Midnight instead the standard magic shit just wears off.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

This movie is really about the Prince. His motivation is just he just wants to be in love with someone he wants. Not a deep or novel motivation but it works. The movie builds up the class systems and how it’s in opposition to Edward’s desire. In fact every song with the exception of the the Fairy Godmother/Cinderella’s make over song is either about Positions in society or love/marriages.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella

The reason why the simplicity of the characters work is because this movie is really well acted. The actors sell everything. Edward and Cinderella have such a good chemistry with each other that it makes up for their love at first sight love. I don’t think the roles are hard to play but they do a good job conveying everything. For example right before Cinderella enters the ball Edward makes this face the indicated he annoyed by another Princess arriving but then his face lights up when he sees her. It’s a subtle little thing but it a good example of the acting in this movie.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Richard Chamberlain as Prince Edward

So at last we come to the technicals. Well this movie is very stagey in its editing and direction. I can see this being off putting to some. I didn’t mind it. It’s not the best but I think it adds the tone of the movie. The songs aren’t amazing but they are fun. I didn’t hate any of them. Protocolligorically Correct might have been my favorite.

Now the costumes. They were wonderful. They were all impeccable and just added so much to the vibe of the movie. They were in that 1740’s style of fashion. They even recreate Jean-Honoré Fragonard’s Swing painting for Cinderella’s exile gown. Even Cinderella’s working dress is pretty. However there is an subtly in the way the movie presents the costumes that it doesn’t really call attention to itself as it just woven seamlessly into the film. I think comes the movie keeps to one style and all the costume even for the extra seems just as lovely as the ones for the leading characters, with some exceptions.

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother The Slipper and the Rose Cinderella picture image

Gemma Craven as Cinderella and Annette Crosbie as the Fairy Godmother

Is The Slipper and the Rose the best Cinderella movie version? Maybe not but it is very enjoyable. I would recommend it if you want 2 hours of fun songs, beautiful costumes and likable acting.

One clue this week because I’m making it too easy.

Last week this Live Action Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame Fan Casting came up on my google alerts. So let’s review their choices.

First off on the whole this article seems to think singing is needed in the casting though so far none of the Live-action Disney versions have been musicals so that shouldn’t be  a factor.

Josh Gad as Quasimodo

Josh Gad for Quasimodo picture image

Josh Gad

I don’t see it. Gad has a goofy comedian vibe but I don’t see him as sweet, insecure Disney Quasimodo. I would hate, HATE to say it but he is better suited for Hugo and I hope the Gargoyles would be cut out or at the very least CLEAR figments of Quasimodo’s imagination.

Rosario Dawson as Esmeralda

 

Rosario Dawson for Esmeralda picture image

Rosario Dawson

I’m a little torn on this one. On the one hand I can see her pulling of Esmeralda as Disney depicted her but on the other hand I don’t think she is the best casting choice there is.

I think Disney should try for some Bollywood IT girl or something. Deepika Padukone is popular fan choice as well as Priyanka Chopra who is one few Bollywood actors to make the jump to Hollywood as she on ABC’s Quantico which makes Chopra the first South Asian to headline an American network drama series.   Or Jana Perez would be a good option for Esmeralda and has the benefit of being in another Live action Disney movie before like Mr. Gad.

Zachary Levi as Phoebus

Zachary Levi for Phoebus picture image

Zachary Levi

I can see this one working. He has the right type of look for Phoebus and could pull off Phoebus’ witty and brave personality.

Alan Rickman as Frollo

 

Alan Rickman for Frollo picture image

Alan Rickman

This a yes and a no. First yes, Rickman as Frollo is like ideal casting that people all want but for Disney Frollo, it’s a little more iffy on that super austere design he has. But considering Disney Frollo’s design is based on Sir Cedric Hardwicke and Rickman has a similar screen presence I will go with a yes. I agree.

Neil Patrick Harris as Clopin

Neil Patrick Harris for Clopin picture image

Neil Patrick Harris

Again yes and no. Harris could pull off Clopin’s personality BUT he does not have the look. His look should resemble Esmeralda unless there something in the script to address it. Like Clopin in the book was the head of thieves I.E the Court of Miracles and not the leader of the Gypsies. In Disney movie he is the leader of  Gypsies. So it’s up to the script and or filmmakers who they can cast. But I think  the role should go to  someone else.

What do you think. Do you like these suggestions?

Let us start off the character potion of the review with Quasimodo or the Hunchback in question.

Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo

First off this Quasimodo, like other Quasimodos, he talks to his pals the stone gargoyles.  However these Garagoyles don’t take back they sing back and cry. This begs the question Are they real or imaginary. The dream song part leads me to believe yes they are imaginary but the tears say no they are real. Or is Quasimodo is imaging they are crying for him but that seems a little too out there for this kind of movie.

Quasimodo and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo and Pierre

Also this Quasimodo follows the other versions of being solely nice. He has one cheeky remark on Gringoire’s poetry being so bad that it could hurt someone but that is it. Which is more snarky than any other versions but it wasn’t that mean, just for a laugh at Gringoire’s expense.  Still without that one minor throw away joke he would have been 100% bland nicety-nice. The line give a .3% edgy factor. Good job!

Quasimodo and Frollo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo and Frollo

Basic plot of Hunchback plot says that meany-face Frollo raises Quasimodo when Quasimodo is a young baby. This version forgoes this and he is raised by unnamed Archdeacon and a monk dude.

Other versions where Frollo is separte from his role as the Archdeacon still gives him a  relationship to Frollo for drama . Even the Enchanted Tales version gave Quasimodo and Frollo or whatever his named was in that crappy version, a connection of being brother. Oh Good God! I’m looking at the Enchanted Tales version as a positive, help me. So there is no real internal conflict for Quasimodo aside from being ugly aside from that is pretty chill and laid back.

Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo

Would I say this Quasimodo is boring? Yes, I would. Aside from that joke about Gringoire’s poetry and the being an angel, he was a weak Quasimodo. No pathos, no drama just a nice angel.  Also his deformity is paint by numbers. It’s all accounted for but not interesting really all I can say is that it looks like he has some major dark circles.  At least he REALLY likes the bells.

The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo in Angel form

Ok one more thing, in this version Quasimodo is an angel, so does that he born an angel and abandoned because of the ugliness? OR was always an angel and his being abandon part of a plan? Or was he never an angel and insane? I don’t know any option makes sense.

Next Time Esmeralda

Esmeralda The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda

 

Apollo’s Lyre

Why only one chapter this week? Well a few reasons, it’s a very long chapter, it’s a very important chapter and it’s my favorite chapter.

Very simply in this chapter Christine explains the voice, the Opera Ghost, and Erik. How they met and all their interactions. How he loves her and how she pity him, lies to him and horrifies her.

Much like the confession scene or rathe chapter in Hunchback, Christine tells Raoul the story as in flashback. Most movies and stage show just show theses scene as they happen in the narrative. Which isn’t bad at all, I just like the mood it create as a story. Though if I was director or screenwriter, I would present this scene as flashbacks with cut back to Christine telling the story to Raoul on a dark roof with shadow lurking on Apollo Lyre This same goes for Frollo’s confession.

Ok so some points of interests that I don’t believe you see in movie or stage versions, remember how it was mentioned that Erik first took Christine right after the chandelier fell during Faust? This means Christine HAD to have been dresses in her costume which was male. No frilly dressing gown or romantic gown when she was taken underground. Not that I don’t like the dressing Gown of Webber’s show but it’s interest to remember that she was in boy clothes as Siébel. I mean given Christine’s urgency to find the voice after the Chandelier fell I doubt she changed.

Second thing, when Erik grabs Christine she struggles to escape but she says that his hand past over her mouth and she smelled death. Now I was on a forum ages ago and someone suggested that Erik used chloroformed on her. She also mented she felt she under teh influenced of some kind of cordial or alcohol. It’s possible that Gaston Leroux didn’t know what chloroform smelled like and just suggested it smelled like death, from some quick research it seem to smell like acetone but also somewhat sweet and chemically. It’s also possiable that he didn’t but it seems likely given Christine passing out and acting a little drunk/drugged.

Anyway this is my favorite chapter, makes all the build up mystery totally worth. Read it!

Penelope picture image

Penelope

There is a lot of films that are modern takes on Fairy Tale or more precisely fairy tales with a modern setting. Placing a Fairy Tale type story is tricky, you have create certain atmosphere to make it believe for the setting but you can’t have the movie take itself that seriously, I.E. it has to know its place and not be a brooding Twilight-shit storm of a mess.
One such movie with a Fairy Tale modern setting is 2008’s Penelope. It’s by accounts a nice movie and by that I mean pleasant but not really super memorable either.

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max

Penelope tells the story of super elite Penelope who due to a family curse has pig nose. This causes her mother to keep her apart from the world and even goes as far to fake her daughter’s death. The only was to break the curse is to have one of their own kind accept her.

So her parents, or really just her mother, Jessica had rich other blue blood young men to win her heart but all are scared off by her nose. One man tell the papers about Penelope and he is dubbed crazies. He and a newspaper gut then you a in debt blue blood named Max to get a picture of Penelope to prove both them right.

However Max and Penelope bond and when she reveal herself to Max she miscontrue him not wanting to marry her to break the curse for him finding her ugly instead of him being unable to break it as he not really Max the rich blood blue but just Johnny some guy.

So Penelope leaves home and makes some friends. But the she sells her own picture to the news guy. The city then falls in love with Penelope and the first blue blood then is made to marry Penelope in order for people to like him and to break Penelope’s curse even though he can’s stand her cursed face. Penelope can’t go through with it and decide she likes herself curse and all which breaks the curse.

Penelope then becomes a teacher and a popular halloween costume. She then learns the Max/Johnny couldn’t undo the curse but it’s ok because they are in loves.

Christina Ricci as Penelope Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

Ahh, the beautiful ugly, I know you well. Jolie Laide is a French expression that means the psychical flaws are embraced as a part of the person’s overall beauty. Quasimodo, The Phantom, The man who laughs and the Beast fall into this concept but to a more extreme degree.
However all these are dudes, Penelope is a lady with the ugly trait and she has to embrace it to be herself. It’s a weird moral, when she loves herself it makes her look normal despite the point that she wasn’t really all that ugly in the first place. It’s a weird little moral that is really mixed up in its scope. Love yourself and then you’re normal? I don’t it feel like it was sincere in its sentiment but presented badly. Though I do like that it a female who is the Jolie-Laide even if her deformity is still adorable.

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope and James McAvoy as Johnny/Max

I give this movie credit, it explains the fairy tale elements well while mixing it into the modern world. Like why can’t Penelope get a nose job? Because some weird reason that it lodged into brain and will kill her. Instead of being a Princess locked in a tower, she’s a blue blood socialist from an old family kept away from the world.

There is some stuff I don’t think work out that super well, like Penelope in real world and how well she deal with it and makes friend. But it could have been that part wasn’t as interesting as it should have been.

Christina Ricci as Penelope Penelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

There nothing wrong with this movie as a whole but nothing about really stands out. It’s cute but there anything really interesting? No. It should have been, the characters are all likable in their ways and it acted well but it just alright.

Perhaps if the technical were more stylish it would have stood out. As they were they were just okay. I remember Penelope’s nose and like two costumes but that is it. I give the movie had like a kid like sense of style like clothing from Anthropologie. It has the calculated DIY feeling but is really commercial and basic but trying to be cutesy. I didn’t hate it, I like stuff from Anthropologie, I can’t afford it but I like it but doesn’t make for a good style in a movie with nothing else really going on save for a pig nose and Peter Dinklage in an eyepatch.

 Christina Ricci as PenelopePenelope picture image

Christina Ricci as Penelope

I want to say Penelope is charming but it’s clunky in its storytelling, delivery and style. Really it’s just lukewarm.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

To get ready for Black Friday/Cyber Monday and Christmas the Hunchback characters are doing a secret santa.

Quasimodo picked Frollo and got him Opteka 650-2600mm High Definition Telephoto Zoom Lens for Nikon Digital SLR Cameras for Stalking Esmeralda better.

Esmeralda picked Clopin and got him Southpole Men’s Marled Full-Zip Hoodie Sweatshirt, so her can be fashionable and warm but it’s a shallow girt.

Frollo picked Fleur-de-Lys and got her a Selfie Stick, He doesn’t know her at all.

Ben Sherman Novelty Socks picture image

Ben Sherman Novelty Socks

Phoebus picked Quasimodo and got him Ben Sherman Novelty Socks, socks, not thoughtful at all.

Gringoire picked Master Florain and got him Plant Theatre Herb Garden Seed Kit , Gringoire thought he was being clever but I can’t see the deaf judge caring for it.

Clopin picked Sister Gudule and got her Zalman King’s Red Shoe Diaries Movie #15: Forbidden Zone, Clopin is being wicked with this one.

 

Outdoor Gargoyle statue picture image

Outdoor Gargoyle statue

Fleur-de-Lys picked Notre Dame de paris and got her Design Toscano Florentine Gargoyle Statue, Notre Dame could use a new cute statue.

Jean picked Djali and got her Caution Attack Goat Sign, gag gift

Sister Gudule picked Phoebus and got him 1 X Snowman Mug w/ Shovel Spoon – Christmas Decor, she know he liked a good drink but it’s super misguided

Djali picked Esmeralda and got her Quiddler, Djali likes words.

Notre Dame de Paris picked Gringoire and got him Une Nuit De Noel a Notre Dame De Paris CD, who wouldn’t ant a new Christmas CD

Master Florain picked Jean and got him Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, It’s useful but Jean won’t use it.

Frollo and his goon The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Frollo and his goon

If I might generalize for a moment, most Disney Knock-off movies try to capture and fail to make their work as Disneyesque as they can. They do this the first the story, songs, and characters designs. But they lack the charm that Disney has in terms of likabilty and even humor.

Rotten Vegetable vendor The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Rotten Vegetable vendor

While Disney’s humor is very hit or miss The Secret of the Hunchback is very different and it isn’t really trying to be like Disney in the way the approach their silliness.

Bell guy getting bumped on the head The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Bell guy getting bumped on the head

The jokes and visual gags of The Secret of the Hunchback is one of the first thing that you notice about this version, even before the main characters are introduced you get the style of humor.

Andre in drag with some guy drooling over him The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Andre in drag with some guy drooling over him

The humor is more akin to that of Animanicas or saturday morning cartoon. It’s very tough and cheek. From the rotten vegetable vendor, from Quasimodo telling Pierre that someone could get hurt from his poems, to one the thieves dressing in drag and having an extra sexually attractive to him, to Frollo comparing Quasimodo to his first wife,  and lastly Pierre saying that he is a Protestant, which technically shouldn’t have been a joke but they treat it as one. There is more example and more slapstick, plus jazzy gargoyles.

Esmeralda and Pierre The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Esmeralda and Pierre

This humor isn’t the Disney style. It’s  watered Looney tunes humor which makes this version weirdly interesting on that front. Without it would suck so much more but it does add to The Secret of the Hunchback’s over all dumbness.  It defiantly makes it stand out though from just another stupid insipid Disney knock-off.

Next Time Quasimodo

Quasimodo The Secret of the Hunchback picture image

Quasimodo