Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

What is full of flames and is one the best parts of any Disney movie? HELLFIRE!

I would say this scene isn’t like super SCARY but it is unsettling. First you have a rather creepy dude singing about wanting a woman whom he has a lot of hostile towards. Then you have the fire imagery and the specters that are featured at various points especially at the end, love the end.

One of the creepiest parts of Hellfire is where Frollo is running through the hooded faceless ghost that watch him in judgement. It’s very much like the Trial by Franz Kafka.

I could see this song scaring a few younger child and making adult uncomfortable.

Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes 300 picture image

Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes

300 is a dick-flick based on graphic novels. As is I need to say what the plot consists of the Spartan going up against the Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC. I’m just going to say this, I fell asleep while watching 300 and I don’t even know what the 2014 sequel was about, more highly stylized war, This Sparta, Tonight We Dine in Hell where we eat your lies which is what we had yesterday, I’m messing up my references.

Anyway, in 300 and the sequel there is a hunchback named Ephialtes of Trachis. Ephialtes means nightmare. He was played by Andrew Tiernan. In the movie he is a deformed Hunchback whose parents ran away from Sparta. Ephialtes hopes to redeem his father by volunteering for the army. However Ephialtes is too weak so Leonidas rejects his and he joins Xerxes’ side and proves inside information.

Ephialtes was based on a real person who was simple traitor.

Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Pan’s Labyrinth

Before I begin this review I just want to say that Guillermo del Toro you some how read this, please make that Monster adaptation for HBO! Please.

Ok, so Pan’s Labyrinth a.k.a El Laberinto del Fauno or Faun’s Labyrinth is a 2006 Spanish movie written and directed by Guillermo del Toro who I hope one day will do that HBO version of Monster which is a kick-ass anime but enough on that. Pan’s Labyrinth is a very dark fairy that mixes the 1940’s political climate of Spain with a girl quest to free her soul through a fairy.

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with Faun Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with Faun

The movie follows a young girl named Ofelia as she moves with her pregnant mother to live with her new step father, a sadistic captain in the country. There Ofelia encounters fairy-like creature who bring her into a nearby labyrinth where she meets, Faun, an ancient half-human half goat creature. Faun tells her that she is a the reincarnation of Princess Moanna, who once lived underground in a land with no pain or sorrow. One Moanna went up to the human world and forget everything and died. Faun tells her she must perform three task so her soul can be returned.

While Ofelia tries to accomplish her tasks, the captain has to deal with rebels one of whom works as maid, Mercedes. Ofelia first task to get a key from a frog who lives under a dying tree. Before the second task Faun gives Ofelia a mandrake root to aid her mother which works.

For the second task Ofelia is given magical chalk that can create passageways. She has to enter the abode of the Pale Man to retrieve an item. She is told to not eat any of the food at the Pale Man’s table. She uses the key she got from the frog’s belly to find a dagger. However she breaks the rules and eats two grapes. This awaken the very creepy Pale Man who kills two out the three fairies and nearly gets Ofelia. Ofelia tells Faun about what happens and tells her that she can never return.

The evil Captain finds the mandrake root and is mad and Ofelia’s mother burns it only to go into labour and dies giving birth to Ofelia’s brother. Ofelia and Mercedes try to escape but the captain catches them. Mercedes is nearly interrogated but she gets away. Ofelia is locked in her room. Faun comes to Ofelia and tells he will give her one last chance but she must not question him. She must bring her baby brother to the labyrinth and Faun gives her some chalk to help her get out of the room.

Ofelia gets her little brother but the captain sees her and goes after her. The rebels attack and when the go into Ofelia’s room all the see is the chalk door. Ofelia maged to get to the center of the labyrinth where Faun tells her that the blood of her brother must spill to open the portal. Ofelia refuses and Faun leaves her. The Captain shows up takes the baby and shots Ofelia.

As the captain leaves the labyrinth he meets the rebels who kill him and take the baby. Mercedes goes to a dying Ofelia. Ofelia then see her King father and Queen mother as Princess Moanna in the underground kingdom. Faun tells her that her final test was not allowing the innocent blood of her brother to flow for her sake.

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia

The question that most people ask about this movie is was were the fantasy elements real or not. There seems to be indication that it was both true as Ofelia did get out her lock room, the mandrake worked, her getting to the center of labyrinth magically and the flower blooming from the dead tree. However when the captain saw Ofelia in the labyrinth talking with Faun, the captain didn’t see Faun. This might mean it’s not true but the Captain was a horrible person so I wouldn’t go by his perspective. Really it’s up to the viewer to make the call if the fairy tale Ofelia lives and dies for is real or her imagination to escape her reality.

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with the Pale Man Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with the Pale Man

While I really like this movie I have a huge problem with it, the real world issue and the fairy tale element competing for importance. Most of this movie is a cartoony fascist being a villain peppered with Ofelia doing her fairy tale JRPG quests. The real world fascist such vs the rebels does give the fairy tale parts more poignance and there were handled well together but I feel like they were two different movie ideas that got combined. Maybe if was more fantasy less horrible fascist it would have been better because the dark fairy tale part were more interesting. Or if the real world character were not so black and white, the captain was clearly evil and Mercedes was clearly good.

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with the Pale Man Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia with the Pale Man

However this movie isn’t about characters, it’s more of a mood piece. It creates a dark world paired with a harsh reality. None of the characters are that deep or have have compelling motivation but the technicals more than make up for it. Faun and the Pale Man are really amazing and the dark richness of the sets draw the viewer into the movie world. The CG work isn’t as glorious but it could have been worse. Also the lullaby melody is so beautiful.

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia entering the Underground kingdom as Princess Moanna Pan's Labyrinth picture image

Ivana Baquero as Ofelia entering the Underground kingdom as Princess Moanna

Pan’s Labyrinth is a intoxicating movie that combines a beautiful dark fairy tale with the horrors of reality, though because the fairy part were more interesting I wish the movie had more of those scene than that cartoonish villain being a jerk.

Clue 1 and Clue 2

 

Special Note- All this month every Wednesday there is will  be some very scary Anti-Hypothetical Casting posts.

Jane Lynch picture image

Jane Lynch

 

When it was first suggested to me to by Esmee I actually confused Jane Lynch for Jamie Lee Curtis, I don’t watch Glee. However I did see her when she was in an episode of Arrested Development  and in Christopher Guest’s Best in Show and I can say she is completely wrong in type for Sister Gudule.

Jane Lynch as Coach Sue Sylvester Glee picture image

Jane Lynch as Coach Sue Sylvester from Glee

First off, Jane Lynch is a comedy actress so that would mean for her to be cast they film would have to be silly AND follow Esmeralda’s backstory. Wait a sec did they already to that? However even in the 1999 French parody version, Sister Gudule’s counterpart was not a major characters. There is just something wrong making a woman who lost her chid in to a role that would NEED a comedic actress.

Jane Lynch picture image

Jane Lynch

Second, Jane Lynch is a tall lady at 6 feet, she doesn’t seem like a delicate flower. Though maybe Sister Gudule isn’t a delicate flower but she is Esmeralda’s mother and her nickname of Chantfleurie seems to indicate a small fair lady.

Jane Lynch picture image

Jane Lynch

 

Jane Lynch is one of the last people I would except to play Sister Gudule even if they did a comedic version of the story.

Moodiness Esmeralda (Maureen O'Hara) 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Moodiness Esmeralda (Maureen O’Hara) 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1923 version staring Lon Chaney maybe considered the monster movie of the Hunchback pantheon but the 1939 have a far more scary-ish scene.

Ok, it’s not scary but it has a very dark moody tone that make it’s uneasy. As Esmeralda flee from Notre Dame after seeing Quasimodo, he stalks in the dark  narrow streets.  If we had seen Quasimodo before then so we did know what lurked in the night it would have been more scary. Of course that means we would have had the King of Fools scene so yeah that would have happened. But the dark slow-paced unsettling quality  of that makes it feel more scary than anything in the 1923 version. Though Monster Movie doesn’t equal horror but still.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwb1izzaic4

The Hunchback of Morgue is a 1973 Spanish B slasher movie staring Paul Naschy, who had quite a following.

Let me be perfectly clear, I didn’t not watch this movie. I had thought about watching it and making it the principle  movie this month but when I learned what this movie did to  rats I said Noop. So this just an overview look at what I assume is a dumb horror movie.

If you thought this movie had any recemblance to Quasimodo and his pathos you would be mostly wrong. It’s only this in common with Hugo’s story is that a Hunchback named Gotho, who is Of a place and he a loved a pretty girl who was nice to him and dies. Actually maybe that is enough.

Unlike Notre Dame’s Hunchback, Gotho is not very smart and is tricked into killing people for the sake of bring his love back to life. Most of the clips I saw was Gotho killing people, one dude in acid because it’s horror movie.

Considering I have no love for Horror and or slasher movie I don’t feel like I missed anything but watch it   you like cheesy B horror from the 70’s.

The Dark Crystal picture image

The Dark Crystal

When the world thinks about the Legacy of Jim Henson, it typically thinks of the glory of the Muppets. However Henson did more than just the Muppets in his career. We have looked his 1986 movie, Labyrinth which was a light-hearted adventure featuring human characters. By contrast the 1982 movie, The Dark Crystal is a much darker movie featuring all puppets.

Jen with the Skeksis Chamberlain The Dark Crystal picture image

Jen with the Skeksis Chamberlain

The Dark Crystal starts with some backstory about a thousand years ago a magical crystal cracked and two races appeared, the icky Skeksis and hippie Mystics. The Skeksis seized control and used the crystal to replenish their lives. The also killed a races of elf-like creature called the Gelfling because their a prophesy about how a Gelfling will heal the shattered Dark Crystal.

Among the peaceful Mystics lives the last Gelfling, a boy named Jen. As the the leader of the Mystics lay dying, he tells Jen to find a beinging named Aughra who has the missing crystal Shard. As the Mystic leader dies, the Skeksis leader also dies. There is a power struggle among the other Skeksis. Two try to became the emperor, the Genreal wins and the Chamberlin is exile. It is then they learn about Jen and they send the Garthim, crab-like creature to get him.

Jen makes it Aughra’s, who tells him that the Dark Crystal must be healed by but the time the three suns come together, an event called The Great Conjunction which is happing very soon. Aughra gives him some crystal shards telling Jen she doesn’t know which one is the Dark Crystal. Jen figures it out as it resonates with the tune the Mystic sing, but then the Garthim attacks and destroys Aughra’s home and Jen escapes.

Jen then meets another Gelfling, a girl named Kira and her pet named Fizzgig. Kira can communicate with all number of animals. Kira takes Jen to her village where she lives with the Podling after the death of her mother. The Garthim attack again and takes many of the Podlings as the Podling are used as slaves for the Skeksis after their life essences in drained away. Jen and Kira only escape the raid as the Skeksis chamberlain saves them.

Jen and Kira find an Gelfling temple of sorts and learn about the prophesy that only a Gelfling can heal the Dark Crystal. The Chamberlain turns up and begs the Gelfling to go to the Skeksis castle so that there can be peace but Jen and Kira reject him and travel to castle on their own. The Mystics also start making their way toward the Skeksis Castle.

As Jen and Kira approach the castle the intercept the Podling Hostages and free them. They flee the Garthim due to Kira’s wings, which only female Gelflings have. They enter the castle through a subterranean window but Kira is captured by the Chamberlain. The Skeksis plan to drain her of her life essences as it will make the new Emperor young again. As Kira is being drained, Jen telepathically tells her to fight and Aughra, who is imprisoned in the same room with a host of animals tells Kira to call the animals. Kira does and she escapes and one one the Skeksis is killed when he is thrown into the Lava pit that houses the Dark Crystal and when the Skeksis dies a Mystic dies too.

As the Great Conjuncture starts the Skeksis gather in the hall of the Dark Crystal. Jen magnes to get on top of the Crystal but drops the shard. Kira picks it up and throws it to Jen and one of the Skeksis stabs her and Fizzgig is thrown into the shaft of the Dark Crystal. As Jen heals the Crystal the Mystic enter the hall and they merged into the Skeksis to reveal a new race that thousand years ago shattered the Crystal with their ignorance. They bring back Kira to life and even Fizzgig is fine as Aughra saved him. Yay.

Kira holding the Crystal Shard The Dark Crystal picture image

Kira holding the Crystal Shard

In a perfect world, movies wouldn’t have to choose between style over substance. They two would work together to create a movie. Now a lot of movie do this but typically there a clear winner of intention, one wins over the over.

With the The Dark Crystal it would seem that the style of the puppets and the world that was created for the movie won over the substance but the substance and the style work more together to form this movie’s look and feel. The substance of the story and characters are made simple to give the style more room. If the movie had complicated the narrative it wouldn’t have allowed the world and the style to move as freely in the narrative. This was the issue with Oz the Great and powerful. Remember when the movie spent a good few minutes on the River of CGs but rushes Theodora’s evil transformation? That is what I mean, The Dark Crystal doesn’t rush the simple yet complex narrative yet still allows the the weird world to come through.

Weaver Mystic The Dark Crystal picture image

Weaver Mystic

So how is the story simple yet complicated? The story is simply a chosen one(s) that has to save the world, basically a hero’s journey. You don’t get much more simple than that. What makes it complicated is that technically one could save that because there are two Gelflings that either Kira or Jen could have done and the two work together like a couplet, more of them later. The is also the whole balance of good and evil and how one needs the other for balance. The Skeksis are evil and horrible but the Mystic are descried as living in a illusion of peace. One can be either wholly good or pure evil, there is a balance. That is some complex thoughts for a children’s movie.

Kira, Jen and Fizzgig The Dark Crystal picture image

Kira, Jen and Fizzgig

The characters are all really interesting, even boring Jen is fairly compelling. Jen doesn’t want to be a hero, he was asked to heal the crystal but he doesn’t whine that much. He is sheltered and somewhat naive which is a contrast to Kira who is more worldly. She knows how to speak to animals. She is the take charge one. Jen and Kira have a good balance between them, they need each other and it’s a good partnership.

The other character aren’t as develop. I wish there was more back ground on Aughra because she cool. Fizzgig is fun too has he looks like a sweet little puppy-ish thing but he has a big scary mouth. The Chamberlain is the most intresting of Skeksis as he is a schemer. He tries to trick Jen and Kira with peace to bring them to castle so he can get back in with Skeksis and when that fails he just kidnaps Kira. The other Skeksis have personalities but they are never made super clear outside their looks and moments.

Kira on a Landstrider The Dark Crystal picture image

Kira on a Landstrider

Now we have come to it, the technicals. This movie was created to be a puppet movie. Would it have been nearly as cool if it was a Live action movie or an animated movie?Maybe. The 80’s were ripe with weird live action movie, so it hard to say. But the puppets and the sheer other-worldliness they create is just so wonder to watch. The design by Brain Froud are wonder, with the dragon/vulture Skeksis and the dog/dinosaurs Mystic. Everything is so cool to look at. I also love the part where Jen walks into Aughra’s home and he sees that machine of the planets, so cool. And the Landstriders, aww those poor Landstriders.

Aughra The Dark Crystal picture image

Aughra

So let say you’re watching The Dark Crystal you make notice that the movie is dark and scary. One of thoughts about 80’s children movies is that it’s ok to scare children as long as there is a happy ending. So they can freak kids out with creepy Skeksis, throwing Fizzgig into a Lave pit and stabbing Kira as long as they show that Fizzgig is ok and the merged Skeksis and Mystic beings called UrSheks revive Kira.

Fizzgig The Dark Crystal picture image

Fizzgig

The Dark Crystal is a masterpiece of the puppet artistry in a movie form. There isn’t like anything like it, a serious and somewhat dark puppet movie.

For more – The World of the Dark Crystal: The Collector’s Edition

New Clues, clue 1 and clue 2

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As mentioned before  Hunchback versions seldom ever passes The Bechdel Test, including the Disney version read here.  But it made me think about the other Disney movies. I was going to go through and look at each movie but I  don’t have to because this site  did all the work for me, http://disney-blog.com/2011/05/the-bechdel-test-and-disney-films/. But I’m going to offer some analysis.

Disney Princess Line UP with Esmeralda, Megara and Kida, picture image

Disney Princess Line UP with Esmeralda, Megara and Kida

As a refresher, to pass the test a work needs to meet 3 criteria; 1) It has to have at least two named female characters, 2) That talk to each other 3) About something other than a male.  Most movies fail the Bechdel test. Also passing or failing does not indicate the quality of a movie. Terrible movie pass and great movies fail.

Aurora and Prince Phillip Sleeping Beauty picture image

Aurora and Prince Phillip Sleeping Beauty

So what does this mean for Disney?  Well the purpose of the test is show the  female presence in a given movie.  Interestingly enough the older movies, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty all pass. Which is valid as at least with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty  there is a decent amount of named female characters. Though movies that don’t have lots of female characters still pass, like 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Hercules, and even The Emperor’s New Groove, which is a male buddy comedy.

Jasmine Aladdin picture image

Jasmine

Movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are often criticized for passive lead female characters but the most of the characters in the movies are females. So having one strong likable female character doesn’t help the over-all female presence. Like Aladdin fails, hard.

Ariel's Fin The Little Mermaid picture image

Ariel

I would disagree with The Little Mermaid failing as the site says because Ariel and Ursula had a fairly long conversation about a few topics, I would give it a pass.  The Lion King could have passed if Nala and Sarabi had spoken more. I’m a little unsure if Snow White should have gotten the pass, as the Queen has a name but after the fact. Her name isn’t said in the movie. Though to be fair, I haven’t seen Snow White in a very long time.

Elsa and Anna frozen picture image

Elsa and Anna

I do find it interesting that with modern day Disney movies that are Princess that try to aim with boys in mind they do keep a strong female presence. Tiana with her mother, Rapunzel with her “mother” and the sisters of Frozen.

Yzma The Emperor's New Groove picture image

Yzma

I would  thought more Disney movies would have failed but it pretty mixed. It’s just really interesting that the older princess movies have a stronger female presence than the Disney movies that have a single “strong” and “Independent”  female character.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo in Notre Dame Ma Maison c'est ta maison garou helene Segara Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Esmeralda and Quasimodo in Notre Dame

Despite its flaws Notre Dame de Paris is the one of the best adaptions of the novel. It captures the spirt of Hugo and the characters better than any other version to date. Is it perfect? No but you don’t get much closer to the book and it does it own thing very nicely. And it brought musicals back to France.

Notre Dame de Paris Belle Esmeralda Helen Segara, Garou Quaismodo, Frollo Daniel Lavoie Phoebus Patrick fiori picture image

Belle with Garou, Daniel Lavoie, Patrick Fiori and Helene Segara

Easily this my favorite version. To be honest, I could spend more time on Notre Dame de Paris since I didn’t really get into the any of the other casts. In fact that is something I have always wanted to do even before thehunchblog officially started. I more than likely will return to Notre Dame de Paris and discuss the various casts more probably on Wednesdays at various interval, since Wednesdays are like a free-for-all day. Heck, there is a new Italian tour going on so there are a lot of casts to get through and I would like to discuss more about the costumes.

Garou as Quasimodo & Helene Segara Danse mon Esmeralda,Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Garou as Quasimodo and Helene Segara performing Danse mon Esmeralda

So this isn’t good-bye but a see you later Notre Dame de Paris.

Next month is a theme month (Guess the theme if you dare), so there won’t be a version starting in October. Next version starts in November and trust me when I say it’s one of the infamous bad ones.

Demi Moore image picture

Demi Moore

Demi Moore voice Esmeralda in the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

-Her first job was a bill collector.

-She “won” Worst Actress of 1997 for her performances in the films The Juror (1996) and Striptease (1996), then again the next year she “won” Worst Actress for her role in G.I. Jane (1997). She has been nominated six times. Though could technically be seven as in 1996 she got a nomination for two movies. And also in 1996, Disney’s Hunchback came out,which poked fun at her being in Striptease.

-Hired three cameramen to videotape the birth of her first child.

Disney Esmeralda Hunchback of Notre Dame Dance picture image

Esmeralda’s Dance Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Bonus round- In the commentary of Disney’s Hunchback the directors  said they wanted Esmeralda to sound like “she’s been around” which is why Moore was cast.