The Man who Laughs Part II: Book 7: Chapters 1-5

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The Man who Laughs Part II:  Book 7: The Titaness

If you’re like me, you thought this book would just be Hugo describing Gwynplaine’s fancy, confusing new digs. Fortunately, no he does not.

Gwynplaine comes to the conclusion that he would rather have Dea and his own life back. So he tries to leave the house-mansion-palace thing. However he can’t because he gets lost. Instead of finding an exit he finds the tempting Lady Josiana. Josiana then tries to seduce him. Girl has to work hard because Gwynplaine, while he does want her, he is like a deer in the headlights. He likes the idea of a woman wanting him who can see him, apparently blind devotion isn’t enough.

However Josiana turns a little hateful when a letter comes from the Queen telling her that Gwynplaine is now going to be her husband, which means Gwynplaine isn’t going to fulfill the role of lover but husband and that is too boring, so she leaves.

Lord David then shows up and Gwynplaine learns that his old pal Tom-Jim-Jack, who I never really paid a attention to, is really Lord David, Lady Josiana’s former fiancee and  rear-admiral. And they are half-brothers, Dun-Dun-Dunn.

I did like the part more than most, if only for Josiana’s waxing sexy poetics.

Maleficent Review; I think it was all the exposition that put Aurora to sleep

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Maleficent picture image

Maleficent

As some people might have guess from my clues, this week we’re looking at the 2014 movie, Maleficent. This movie is a re-imagining of the 1959 Disney version of Sleeping Beauty but from villain Maleficent’s perspective, hence the name. While on paper that does not seem like a bad idea, the execution of this movie is so fucking naive that it’s bad. It’s like they took the stupidest idea possible for what to do with Maleficent’s character and combined with more successful movies, like Frozen, Avatar and Lord of the Rings to name the obvious ones.

Also, all I will say on the narration is that it was over-done and bogged the movie down. It was the first red-flag of crappiness.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Elle Fanning as Aurora picture image

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Elle Fanning as Aurora

Basically, Maleficent is a fairy with bird wings and horns and she lives in the Moors and fucking shot me already. The Moors are clearly just a name but they don’t look anything like Moorlands of England. They could have called the mythical utopian fairy land ANYTHING else and it wouldn’t been an issue but now I have to think about how stupid this name is every time it appears on screen. Since the Moors are a discount failed Pandora from Avatar why not just called them something Greek or something, ANYTHING would have been better. Was that your first idea screenwriter? Really, off an a tangent already, great start.

So the “Moors” which is a land of fairies and Tree-ants a la Lord of the Rings and/or Groot are at odd with the Humans. Maleficent is a some kind of super fairy and she befriends and falls in love with a human named Stefan. The king gets his beard in a twist because Maleficent kicked with army’s butt with her tree-ants, so he offers the hand of his daughter to the person that can slay Maleficent. Stefan drugs her and steals her wings and gets to be the king while Maleficent’s heart turns cold or something and gets a crow minion.

Stefan has a baby girl and Maleficent curses her and this scene is ALMOST verbatim to the original expect Maleficent puts the clauses in about True Love’s kiss awaking her as a slap-in-the-face to Stefan who claimed he had given Maleficent a true love’s kiss. Also the green fairy who was the blue fairy didn’t get to give Aurora a gift, though the gifts in this version are stupid. Also Maleficent says it’s a sleep like death when in the original Maleficent just said she will die, so…… anyway.

Stefan must be smoking copious crack because he entrusts the stupid fairies with raising the princess (I think there was line about the fairies being good with human but WTF why?). The fairies are so stupid that Aurora would have staved to death and fallen off a cliff if not for Maleficent who helps care for the child on the sly and pranks the fairies for jollies. Aurora gets in to her head that Maleficent is her fairy godmother, oh dear god movie, I can’t, I don’t even know but wrong movie there. Maleficent then tries to revoke the curse but can’t because of her wording about nothing be able to break the curse.

Aurora meets Prince Mcgaffin erm I mean Phillip and they have a little attraction which crow-boy hopes means is true love. Aurora for some reason (I wasn’t paying a lot of attention at this point), goes back to the castle a day before she was suppose to and falls in to the  death-like sleep coma-nap. Maleficent bring Prince-i-boy to help with that pesky curse but he fails, (fail sound effect from the Price is Right), so Maleficent kisses her on the forehead and in Frozen fashion Aurora wakes up and then there is a dumb fight, Maleficent turns her pretty-boy crow into a dragon, pffffffttttttttttttttttttt and stupid happy ending and it turns out all that annoying narration was done by Aurora. Hate this movie.

Isobelle Molloy as Young Maleficent with Michael Higgins as Young Stefan picture image

Isobelle Molloy as Young Maleficent with Michael Higgins as Young Stefan

On the one small hand, I sort of appreciate what Maleficent was trying to do in theory but on the other larger hand this movie missed the point of everything and meanders into the realm of idiocity.

The first major problem is Maleficent herself. Maleficent in no way shape or form should be the same entity as the Good fairies and for the record why did they change their names from Flora, Fauna and Merriweather to Flittle, Knotgrass and Thistlewit? Really, I could do another full post on these useless pixels but I will refrain*.

To have Maleficent as good fairy at the start with a name like Maleficent which means evil is dumber than naming a character Knotgrass or Flittle or Thistlewit. They could have made Maleficent change her name to suit her evil persona but nope a child fairy who ages for no reason that the film gives is given the name which means Evil. I mean for Fuck sake movie, you give the origins of her staff but no mechanic for how or why she grows-up when nothing else in her realm does? F-U!

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent after her wings have been cut off picture image

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent after her wings have been cut off

Another issue is that original movie called Maleficent the mistress of evil. Given this, she didn’t NEED reason to be evil, she just was and rather enjoyed it. Actually she did have a reason for why she cursed Aurora, she got snub an invitation to a baby shower, I would have done the same thing.

But you what REALLY pisses me the fuck off about all this movie? SO the film takes the stance that true love between two platonic ladies exists and is a strong bond a la Frozen which is great HOWEVER this lead you down the path that the film as feminist bent BUT Maleficent’s anger and hatred comes from a guy betraying her. She is literally a scorned woman, a man made her become evil. Why can’t she just be evil? Why can’t she just have been demonic entity whose got a sense of humanity from a pure girl, kind of a Sleeping beauty meets Hades/Persephone dynamic. This movie spouts the power of women but evil unintelligible king caused the Maleficent to be evil.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent picture image

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent

And that is another problem, Maleficent’s evilness is VERY infantile. Literally all she does besides the plot-curse is prank the fairies with rain magic and turns the Moors gloomy. If that is extent of her evil that means the curse on Aurora or the plot is very out-of-character for Maleficent. It’s like the movie took this awesome kick-ass bad guy but was afraid to make her evil because if she is evil than the audience wouldn’t like her but that was the point. Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of the Mistress of Evil and they sap all of her likable-evil and just watered her down to the point of delusions.

Elle Fanning as Aurora Maleficent picture image

Elle Fanning as Aurora

Then we have Sleeping Beauty herself. One BIG criticism of the original is that Aurora gets very little screen-time and this movie was chance to give her more of a character but nope fuck that. One of the fairies, and who fucking cares which one it was, gave her the gift of being happy. This makes Aurora a smiling simpleton with no other sense of character. Really all she is happy, I think the original Aurora had more of a range of emotions and that is so sad.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent flying picture image

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent flying

But you know most modern movies have shit for characters because they more are all about being Bigger, Louder and having more teeth i.e technicals and CGs and you may ask how are they in Maleficent? OH dear god, do they suck, they suck much my friends. It’s like everything looked so fake and cheesy that it hurt, like I’m in pain just thinking about it.

But the REAL tragedy is that costumes which I need to distract me from a movie’s stupidity were not there, Maleficent’s costume were meh. Really, don’t recall anything, maybe Aurora wore blue and Maleficent had horn wraps.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Baby Aurora picture image

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Baby Aurora

Maleficent could have been an interesting movie if the screenwriter had just kept certain things in play like Maleficent’s character and TURINING IN A FUCKING DRAGON! Really that they turned the Mistress of Evil into a Mischievous Nanny is insulting. I bet a re-imagining of Mary Poppins would have a more Maleficent like character than this movie. And WHO the FUCK gave the Money to get this shit storm a sequel? Know that I hate you whatever orderd a sequel.

* leave a comment if you want me to bash the fairy and maybe the other characters.

Some PR videos of The Notre Dame de Paris performance in Lebanon

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This is off-the-cuff

There is something about Stephanie Bedard that just doesn’t work for me. She is a very good singer and she has a nice power in her voice but I don’t get any feeling here. It’s just a tepid version of Vivre. She is not performing it she just singing it, albeit nicely but still there is like nothing to it.

It’s ok. Laurent is sing nicely which is odd considering how he typically sings Quasimodo but he injects some feeling into it. However, he has been in something like 500+ performances of Notre Dame de Paris so I would imagine it would be second-nature to him at this point.

This is cute. I feel like I get something from Bedard other than nice singing maybe it’s fun and relax. Laurent’s fast paced and rockfish Belle is weird but fun and I liked the duet angle with Bedard.

 

Songs of Notre Dame de Paris Part 9

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Act II Commence!

Florence

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire and Daniel Lavoie performing Florence Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire and Daniel Lavoie performing Florence

The second act opens in a very similar manner as the first act. Florence is a duet between Frollo and Gringoire and the sing about the changing weird mainly how the printing press will affect architecture. This of course is the subject to a long chapter in the novel but it was very interesting and it translates to a lovely song.

Unlike Le Temps, Florence has a more melancholic tone or at least bittersweet. However neither Frollo or Gringoire point to how they feel about this transition, they present it more as fact.

If there is a negative it that tonally Frollo ends the first act by stabbing Phoebus and now he is wondering about the state of the age. It’s just weird.

The Song has a lovely melody and both singer add great emotion. The Song ends with Frollo and Gringoire commenting on Quasimodo being in love.

This was Daniel Lavoie favorite song.

Les Cloches (The Bells)

Quasimodo with a Bell Les Cloches Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Garou as Quasimodo with a bell

One this I love about this number are dudes hanging from the Bells, that looks like so much fun.

Les Cloches is on the one hand a fun song and on the other it’s rather sad. How can it be both? It’s fun because it up-tempo and Quasimodo sings all the instances when he rings the bells, which is pretty every hour of every day, busy guy.

However in his duty he has to ring the bells for lover getting married and he knows this doesn’t apply to him and more over the bells never ring for him which makes him sad as he loves the bells.

This precisely captures not all Quasimodo’s relationship with the bells but his feeling on love and his future. There also a lot emotion in this song and Garou exposes Quasimodo’s inner working perfectly.

Patrick Fiori once said in the Frequentstar special that of all the songs in Notre Dame de Paris, this is the one he would most want to sing.

Où est-elle? (Where is she?)

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire and Luc Mervil as Clopin during Où est-elle? Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire and Luc Mervil as Clopin during Où est-elle?

What is this? Another trio about Esmeralda, this makes the second one of in the musical. This time it’s Gringoire, Frollo and Clopin. in Où est-elle ? Frollo asks Gringoire where Esmeralda is and he pretends he doens’t know but tells Clopin. Thet all miss her and remark that Paris is sadder without her.

It’s a pretty simple song but it heart-felt even from Frollo even with all his weird confused lusty feeling towards her. And all their voice work well together.

Les Oiseaux qu’on met en Cage (The Birds in Cages)

Esmeralda in jail les oiseaux qu'on met en cage Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Esmeralda in jail

Ok, I’m just going to say it, Les oiseaux qu’on met en cage is one of my favorite songs in the show, like easy top three.

This song is a depressing duet between Esmeralda and Quasimodo. Esmeralda in jail asks for Quasimodo to save her and not Gringoire or Clopin as her and Quasimodo have a bond that she doesn’t seem to have with the other two. Quasimodo longingly wonders where Esmeralda is.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo have such pathos in their voices that it hard not to love this song. It’s also just a lovely duet with beautifully sad lyrics.

Get the whole GLORIOUS ALBUM HERE

The Man who Laughs Part II: Book 6: Chapters 1-5

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 The Man who Laughs Part II:  Book 6: Ursus Under Different Aspects

Barky is a jerk, this is known earlier but MY GOD.

So Ursus sees Gwynplaine go into the jail and not come out. Naturally he assumes that Gwynplaine is really a powerful lord lost in childhood and now restored to his glory. Yeah, no he assumes the worse for his child. He returns to Dea. His plan is to tell her the true which he assumes will kill her, though he lies instead and pretends Gwynplaine for the act.

Then Ursus get tattled on by the inn keeper for his wolf. I think the police come with Barky. They tells Ursus he has to leave England by tomorrow with Homo or the will kill Homo. It is also here that Barky tells Ursus that Gwynplaine is dead, and figurity yes he is. And then Barky gives Usrus ten guineas instead of the two thousand that Gwynplaine told him to give to Ursus and then he pockets the rest because and I quote

“Barkilphedro loved money, especially money which was stolen.”

This guy isn’t even remotely likeable. Let me both this into perceptive here and you’ll pardon me from using Game of Thrones…….. but if Ramsey Bolton and Barky were in a fight I would still rather Ramsey Bolton, a fucking creepy-ass sadist, to win over this jerk and I HATE HOUSE BOLTON! I kind of want to call him Barky Bolton but I won’t. If Barky isn’t thrown off a famous English building I’m going to rage. (Not really but this guy needs to offed and if he is not I will rage.)

Then the inn keeper who snitched on Ursus gets arrest for harboring the wolf. I mean turn about being fair play and all but these guys are just asses. I mean Ursus had a loop-pole in the system and they didn’t honor it. Such Jerks!

The Princess Bride Review; It’s inconceivable how wondrous this movie really is

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The Princess Bride picture image

The Princess Bride

Fair warning, this review is a gush-fest. If you want a movie that causes pain wait till next week and here are two clues for the next review, clue 1 and clue 2.

As for The Princess Bride there isn’t much to say. It was based on a book of the same name by William Goldman in 1973 and made into a film in 1987 by Rob Reiner. On it’s release it was a modest success but its has a legacy of being a cult movie. It’s also a DAMN quotable movie. Heck look up the word inconceivable on google and you will get the movie.

I did read the book many years ago and while it was enjoyable I think the movie is better, the book is also weird if I recall.

Cary Elwes as Westley and Robin Wright as Buttercup The Princess Bride picture image

Cary Elwes as Westley and Robin Wright as Buttercup

The story is pretty simple. Westley and Buttercup are young lovers but one day Westley goes off and is presumed dead. Five years later Buttercup is forced into an engagement to Prince Humperdink. Humperdink then hires Vizzini, a genius Sicilian, Inigo, a fencer out for revenge and Fezzik, a kind giant with a gift for rhymes (I know what a a cliche), to kidnap and kill Buttercup in order to start a war with a rival country. However the Dread Pirate Roberts follows them and defeats all of them and runs off with Buttercup. The pirate turns out to be Westley who took on the alias of the Dread Pirate. However Buttercup and Westley are caught by the Prince and his henchman the not very nice Count Rugen.

Westley is tortured and is mostly dead but Inigo and Fezzik get a miracle and storm the castle on Buttercup’s wedding day. Inigo gets his revenge for the murder of his father on Count Rugen who killed him and Buttercup and Westley are together. The whole story is told as a book a grandfather is reading to his grandson.

Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya The Princess Bride picture image

Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya

Typically when I review a movie I have to ask myself what was good about the movie as a general opener but with The Princess Bride it’s more of a question of what is bad and I’m hard press to have a negative.

I guess one thing is that film is very filmy. You can tell the stuntmen from a mile away and your blind. The sets look fake and there are tons of Anachronisms. Like the British discovered Australia in 1606 but the tone of the movie have a Renaissance quality. Even given those flaws they actually add to the atmosphere of fun swash-bucking fantasy romance. And characters more than make up for anything.

Wallace Shawn as Vizzini, Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya and André the Giant as Fezzik The Princess Bride picture image

Wallace Shawn as Vizzini, Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya and André the Giant as Fezzik

The characters are one of the main highlights of the movie which is necessary since the story is fairly simple, which is fine. All the characters are interesting unique and memorable. A lot of that comes from the writing, everyone gets good lines. I just love these characters, argh damn you movie. Even SUPER minor characters are memorable like the king and the impressive clergy man  with his “mawwiage speech.”

Wallace Shawn as Vizzini with Robin Wright as Buttercup at the Battle of Wit The Princess Bride picture image

Wallace Shawn as Vizzini with Robin Wright as Buttercup at the Battle of Wit

Maybe it’s all the mold I have breathed in cleaning my basement and the exhaustion of it has melted my brain but I can really find a fault with this movie. I mean I guess the ending song is a prime example of 80s cheesy and Buttercup, the titular character is not the most interesting. But she is brave and once she knows her true love is alive she doesn’t lack conviction. I suppose agmonst the other kickass characters and quotes she isn’t that memorable but she is likable enough, I don’t have an issue with her.

Robin Wright as Buttercup with Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdinck and Christopher Guest as Count Rugen The Princess Bride picture image

Robin Wright as Buttercup with Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdinck and Christopher Guest as Count Rugen

Also since I’m a costume person, the costume are very nice. Everything is one point and looks like the character actually have wore the clothes and have lived in them, which is rare on films. And props for Buttercup’s wedding gown being blue.

Cary Elwes as Westley and Robin Wright as Buttercup The Princess Bride picture image

Cary Elwes as Westley and Robin Wright as Buttercup

So let us don our holocaust clocks and grab a M.L.T sandwich and watch The Princess Bride because it inconceivable how fun this movie is. I keep using that word, I don’t think it means what I think it means.

Billy Crystal as Miracle Max and Carol Kane as Valerie The Princess Bride picture image

Billy Crystal as Miracle Max and Carol Kane as Valerie

Hunchback Honeymoon Hotspots

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Notre Dame, Paris, France - Matted Photo

Notre Dame, Paris, France – Matted Photo

The wedding theme month might be over but now that wedding is over we can talk about hunchback inspired Honeymoons also I just don’t’ really want to end the theme month midweek and it was easy to get a wedding-related live action fairy tale movie.

The obvious pick for a honeymoon that is inspired by Hunchback is Paris, kinda of a no brainer and it is the city of love.

However let’s just say you would rather go somewhere else. You could go to Rheims as Esmeralda and her mom were from there. You could also so to Montreal which is a lovely city and has a lovely Notre Dame that looks very similar to Notre Dame de Paris.

Though you could also go to place that was a French colony, I would recommend  New Caledonia, it’s not only gorgeous but it’s a popular honeymoon destination.

You could ALSO go to Notre Dame, Indiana because of the University.

Hunchback Inspired Wedding Songs and Favors

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Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Julie Zenatti as Fleur-de-Lys with Patrick Fiori as Phoebus, Notre Dame de Paris

As we close this theme month let’s think about the closing memory of a wedding, the song for the bride and groom’s first dance and wedding favors.

Starting with the song, Hunchback versions can give you a few options. I wouldn’t recommend dancing to Hellfire UNLESS it has special significance to you as a couple. Topsy Turvy could be fun but again would be weird.

Notre Dame de Paris gives a few options in a few languages. For songs from the show there is Ces Diamants-la which is about marriage. Ma Maison c’est ta Maison since that song is about sharing a life and a home. Or Vivre which is about the power of love and it’s english version Live for the One I love is very nice and you can choice between the Tina Arena version or the Celine Dion version.

Of Course there is also Out of Love from Der Glockner von Notre Dame or maybe In A Place of Miracles from the American version, which I haven’t heard but let’s hope it’s on the cast recording.

Fleur de Lys Wine Stopper picture image

Fleur de Lys Wine Stopper

Then we have the party favors. Of the weddings I have been to recently I don’t really recall any wedding favors, well maybe some Almonds but there wasn’t assigned seating at that wedding so I didn’t take any. However for a Hunchback theme wedding I would just recommend keeping it simple.

You could give out Macarons which just scream France. Maybe you could get them in your wedding colors or the same color tones as Notre Dame. You could also give out cookies that have Notre Dame as design in like icing, they do it with the Eiffel Tower so why not Notre Dame. You could also do bell shaped cookies if you you want it a little easier or gargoyles, that would be cool.

However if you would rather give out some that is not food you could give out Fleur de Lys bottle opener or stoppers, I would doubt they make Notre Dame ones.

Of course if you’re creative and like DIY projects the sky the limit. You could make frosted candle holders with something Notre Dame related on it.

The Wedding in Notre Dame de Paris

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Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire with Helene Segara as Esmeralda in Notre Dame de Paris picture image

Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire with Helene Segara as Esmeralda

Notre Dame de Paris is often praised for being one of the more accurate version of Hunchback and while it is the wedding scene is REALLY rush to the point that it’s hardly there.

Really it’s glossed over. You could say it takes place during La Cour des Miracles, Clopin asks if a lady wants Gringoire and Esmeralda say she’ll take him. Clopin says in the original version something like “He’s yours as a spouse but not as a lover.” End of Wedding, no jug and no wedding merriment unless you count Esmerald and Gringoire dancing as the song wraps up.

In other versions Clopin’s line is more like Esmeralda had to sleep in his bed. Gringoire then sings a line about how she saved in just in time and Esmeralda response by singing that though she saved him she won’t sleep in this bed. In either version these line are a littler superfluous as the next song aging shoot him down though he is all like Baby you can be my muse, really do you need to repeat this two times but forgo much of the wedding scene?

Then they have their wedding night which is a sweet number though Esmeralda still rejects Gringoire for Phoebus. I mean she just changed the subject when he tries and it like I would rather know what the name Phoebus means. She doesn’t mince any words.

There is nothing much from the original book scene expect they get married in the court of miracles as a means to save Gringoire and Esmeralda rejects him afterwards. While it would have been nice to have the jug scene or a longer song with some of the book lines, Notre Dame de Paris did get the core basics of the scene and really that’s all it needed to do.

The Wedding Planner Review; Yeah, that M&M line was the stupidest thing

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The Wedding Planner picture image

The Wedding Planner

FINALLY a wedding movie that doesn’t take plan in New York City. I didn’t really mention that but all the other took place in NYC and nothing is wrong with that it’s just variety is the spice of life. The 2001 movie, The Wedding Planner took place in San Francisco like some other wonder movies such as The Room. But does the different setting mean The Wedding Planner is a good, no that is silly however as it stand the movie is meh to ok at best at worst it’s meh to dull and VERY predictable.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) saving Mary (Jennifer Lopez)

The movie follows Mary (Jennifer Lopez), a wedding planner who is trying to land a big account at her wedding planning firm. One day after she lands said big account she meets a handsome doctor, Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and they share a romantic moment and surprise, surprise he’s the groom. As this is going on Mary is being pursued by this childhood friend of her’s the her father wants her to marry. As is standard with wedding movie the Steve doesn’t get married on his wedding day though his fiancee is okay-ish with it since she was second guess the marriage too. Mary is going to marry the Italian guy but doesn’t and in a nice twist the movie makes you think Steve is going to break up the wedding but he doesn’t but other wise it standard wedding movie fair.

Also Judy “You’re NOT my Supervisor” Greer is in this movie, though she is nice in this movie which is just weird.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) comforting a bride

One thing that is good about this movie is AT least Mary’s obsession with wedding is channeled into her being a wedding planner unlike in 27 dresses and Bride Wars where the characters are just obsessed with them.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary's childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) and Mary’s childhood friend, Maximo (Justin Chambers)

But you know what is interesting especially when compared to the other movies it how the relationship go and who the main characters picks. In this movie Mary has two choices for guys the one she JUST met, Steve the Doctor and the one she has the shared history with, her childhood friend Maximo. In the end she goes with Steve over Maximo. This is kinda similar with 27 Dresses where Jane has the choice between her boss whom she has known for years and a guy she just met, though the one she just meets in the movie shows more interest.

Bride Wars is very different in the Emma knew both guys for a long period of time but since the audience doesn’t know her with Liv’s brother we the audience have to assume that they don’t really know each other that well over her and Fletcher who had been living together and know each for a decade.
Then we have Made of Honor, which had more of Bro tone which made it a hybrid-chick flick. This film makes it very clear that Hannah didn’t know Colin at all despite that they spent a month together going to museums and traveling which you would make you think they talked but the film defames the whole love at first sight which The Wedding Planner glorifies.

Also I have give props to the jilted couples in these movie, they take it all like pros especially in this movie where we have not one but two and they just handle it really well, like unnaturally well.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Steve (Steve (Matthew McConaughey) doing a snarky tango

So what about our couple, Mary and Steve? Well to put it nicely, they have all the on-screen chemistry of a refrigerator and sunblock. Seriously, oil and water have better chemistry than these two. I didn’t believe them at all, I mean they have the classic attractive people who smile at each and/or have snarky banter, clearly they must be in love.

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Steve (Matthew McConaughey) with Fran (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

But you know this a wedding movie damn it, only one thing matters, the wedding gown and in this movie we get two. Three if you REALLY want to count the lady at beginning but I won’t. Fran’s dress is REALLY standard, it’s pretty but it very conventional, the veil is pretty. I wish the band a under the bust wasn’t beige. Apparently it had more details than I’m letting on, as it had lace, sequins and button but I didn’t perceive in the movie it just wasted details. And once agian it’s a Vera Wang, I don’t hate Wang’s design but really why are these gown so like text book bridal?

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) in her wedding gown

Mary’s city hall affair dress is the foil Fran’ s dress. It’s a sixty style short dress with off-shoulder and a pillbox veil hat and 3/4 sleeves with buttons. It’s a sweet dress and it seems like contextually it was Mary’s mother so while it didn’t suit Mary’s style it work within the movie. It’s not really my cup of tea but it’s fine. I guess I could as that from Fran’s too.

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) The Wedding Planner picture image

Mary (Jennifer Lopez) and Fran ( Bridgette Wilson-Sampras)

As far as movies go The Wedding Planner is very predicable fair even for wedding movie standard. It has it’s entertaining moments but the predictability and lack of chemistry makes it a dull this to watch.

It also has some VERY stupid shit in it, like the statue’s ball, that brown M&Ms are better for you than the other colors, and that Mary would risk her life for Gucci shoes. And Justin Chambers’s fake accent is cringe-worthy.

Also that the fact Mary was jilted before her wedding was REALLY shoehorned in for like no real and yet she is STILL a wedding planner. Her being a bit of a control freak goes hand-in-hand with her wedding planning and why she doesn’t have her own love life, it wasn’t needed and didn’t go anywhere.