The Hunchblog of Notre Dame

02Oct 2014

The Princess and the Goblin Review; I kept waiting for Jareth to pop out

by jess

The Princess and the Goblin

I’m not sure how to feel about The Princess and the Goblin. It feels like a lot different ideas merged in one somewhat hastily thought narrative. Considering it was based on a rather strange book, I’m blaming screenwriters too much.

It was released in the U.K. in 1992 and in the States in 1994. It was a Hungry/Wales/ Japan co-production.

Irene and Turnip

So Princess Irene is a lonely little girl who only has her nurse, Lootie and her cat, Turnip for company. One day she runs into some goblins and is saved by a mining boy name Curdie. He tells her that Goblins and their pets can’t stand singing. He takes her back to the castle and she offers to give him a kiss but Lootie interrupts.

The next day Irene finds a secret door that lead her to the magic spirit of her great-great -grandmother.

Curdie returns to mines where he works with his dad. He overhears some goblins talking about building a dam and that their weakness in their feet. He also overhears that that the Goblins King, Queen and Prince plan to flood the mine and the plan to have Prince Froglip marry Irene so he can rule the sun-people. Curdie gets captured and thrown behind a large rock.

Irene continues to visit her great-great-grandmother and she gives Irene some magic invisible thread that will leads her to her own magic. She then decides to sneak off to follow the thread which leads her to where Curdie is being held in the heart of the goblins’ village.

They make it back to the castle but the goblins attack and flood the mines which gets redirected to the castle. But they defeat the goblins and Irene gives Curdie a peck on the cheek.

Irene and Curdie

It’s just a weird movie that seems to hinge at a plot. Irene is not that concern with goblins, she is more obsessed with her magical great-great-grandmother. I think the issue is that with a title like The Princess and the Goblin you would except the princess and the goblin to have interactions with each other but they don’t. The goblin prince, Froglip kidnaps her but we don’t see them interact, hell we don’t see kidnapping.

The title is more like a list, there is a princess and goblins, so the title is more from Curdie’s perspective.

Irene’s Great-Great Grandmother

Curdie as character is boring. He is a pragmatic but that is all I get from him. The goblins also don’t have personalities. They are just gross and mean. I got more of a sense of character from the weird dinosaur thing that gives Curdie a ride, it’s at least helpful and sweet. The great-great-grandmother has a bit of a personality as she is helpful, aloof and somewhat silly. I wish we could have gotten a name more than great-great-grandmother for her. Lootie is annoying and Turnip is an adorable cat.

Irene

And then there is Irene. Irene is adventurous and brave as she just goes for following that thread. She could just be naive but her trust in her great-great-grandmother is rewarded when it does lead her out of the mountains. She is also not shy about kisses. Unfortunately I just don’t find her all that compelling.

Irene and Turnip

The animation is not great. It’s not bad, but it’s not remarkable. The sound mixing is weird. For some reason it really apparent. I can’t really describe my issue with it but it’s distracting in way.

There was only one song and it was bland.

Froplip

The Princess and the Goblin is just a weird meandering movie that tries to do way too much and actually does very little. I’m left confused by it.

Who else was uncomfortable with that random goblin licking Lootie on her chest? I was.

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01Oct 2014

More Esmeralda Halloween Costume ideas

by jess

It’s October, Halloween Time! I maintain that Esmeralda is a great costume for halloween especially the Disney version, you can go here to get tips for Disney Esmeralda costumes. Gyspy Fortune teller Costumes are also great, go here to see awesome options Fortune telling costumes. And of course you could also go for a ghloulish undead Esmeralda go here for tips for that.

Of course, there are two other movie Esmeralda costumes that would be fun choices for Halloween, the 1956 and the 1923 version. Both are simple and you can pretty much buy what you need or go to your closet.

Gina Lollobrigida as Esmeralda, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1956 costume is bold and striking. It reads Gypsy or at least dancer in a modern yet classic way. You will need a basic red short sleeve shirt, long red skirt, a leather belt with gold details, a dagger, and coin earring and bracelet. Pretty simple yet sexy. You can add the veil and a hip scarf if you want.

Here are some options for the 1956 costume that you can buy on amazon.

Simple Red Shirt
This shirt while simple is the right cut for the 1956 costume. The belt will help create the shape of the costume.

Red Skirt

This skirt would be a good option has it has a nice jagged hemline which look like the 56 version and it moves well.

Also comes in purple for Disney version.

Red Satin Skirt
This skirt is also a very good option. It’s simpler but it still lovely.

Hip Scarf
You can add a belly dancing hip scarf to make it fun but you don’t have too.

Brown & Gold Belt
A brown belt should do the trick but a brown belt with some gold details would be perfect. This is a great option if you don’t have something in your closet already, and you can wear it for every day wear.

Coin Bracelet

The 1956 Esmeralda wears a lot of coin bracelet but one will be enough. You don’t have to use coin jewelry, any gold bracelet should be fine.

Hoops with Coin Dangles

Much like the bracelet if you can get coin hoops that would the best but just plain gold hoops would work well.

Just add a little dagger and you’re set! Perfect 1956 Esmeralda

Patsy Ruth Miller as Esmeralda 1923 Hunchback of Notre Dame

The 1923 verison is an 1920 take on Gyspy costumes which makes it a kind of whimsical and on a fashion trend since with Downton Abbey and the 2013 The Great Gatsby movie, the 1920’s are an in style. The 1923 version is a little tricker than 1956 to buy for but you can get the idea. Since the 1923 version is black and white you can pick any colors you want but one poster for the movie depicted her costume as yellow and purple, so that is what I would suggest.

All you need is a short sleeve loose white blouse, a yellow skirt that hits roughly below the knees but above the ankles, a vest or bolero and hip scarf and a long beaded necklace.

Here are some options for the 1923 costume that you can buy on amazon.

Cotton Semi-Sheer Short Sleeve Blouse

This blouse is a great shape for the 1923 costume. The details are also very nice.

White Loose-fitting Blouse

This blouse is more simple but it would still be a good choice for the 1923 Esmeralda. It’s also made from bamboo.

Yellow Embroidered Gypsy Skirt

This Yellow Skirt is cute and shorter. Its details are very bohemian.

Yellow Tiered Ribbon Gypsy Boho Skirt

This Yellow Skirt is longer than the other but it just as boho.

Yellow Knitted Bolero

The 1923 Esmeralda wears a little vest but you can get a yellow bolero. If you wish you can cut off the sleeves or leave them on if you want. This one is made from knit so it would be harder to remove the sleeves but the details of the knitting look nice and would match the bohemian style of the costume.

Yellow Bolero

With this Bolero it would be easier to remove the sleeves if you want a more accurate version of the 1923 costume.

Purple Coin Hip Scarf

The coin hip scarf isn’t 100% to the hip scarf she wears but it’s fun.

Purple Necklace

The 1923 Esmeralda wears lots of long necklaces so you can fun layering what ever you have. But I would recommend trying to get some yellow and purple in there in you opt for that color scheme.

Don’t forget your tambourine

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30Sep 2014

1986 Frollo – Diet Dr.Frollo

by jess

Frollo

To be perfectly honest, I could have just had one post on the characters from the 1986 version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame as there is just not that much to the main characters and even less to side characters. However for whatever reason, I really just wanted to discuss this Frollo.

Frollo

This Frollo isn’t exactly interesting, I mean he’s a pale intimation of book and even the Disney version but this Frollo navigates the thin line that kid movies Frollo must walk. The line between obession, lust and being “kid-friendly.” Disney Frollo got any with this because in addition to wanting to bone Esmeralda he covered it by being mad at her and that is what the 1986 Frollo does except he is not as explicit in his desires as the Disney verion.

Frollo

So unlike the Disney version, the 1986 version is a priest which is probably why he is less direct about his wants as with a priest they need to tone it down. Pious Judges can get away with a bit more. Also like in the book, 86 Frollo has his creepy cell, though in this version it’s underground like in a crypt. Ok… that’s a weird change but whatever at least he has one. But unlike other Frollos the most specific this Frollo gets with his desire towards Esmeralda is that she fills him with dreams and makes him feel things.

Frollo & Esmeralda

What these dreams and feelings are we don’t know. I assume they are romantic-ish……. romantic is odd word for Frollo but I just don’t get the crazed madding lust from this version. I get he is annoyed with her but in any case it’s very toned down.

Esmeralda and Frollo, sort of the Red Door scene

Frollo wants her in his care but what that entails for this Frollo is a mystery. I’m not sure if he wants teach her religion or have sex with her. Actually he wants her to repent and accept his guidance, which is a boring motivation for a Frollo. No lust, no torment, no interest.

Frollo

In addition to being a sort of Diet version Frollo, this Frollo like spout off exposition because someone has to do it. He lets us know that Quasimodo is deaf but the most awkward one is when him is cursing Quasimodo while he saving Esmeralda. He says something like “curse the deformed monstrosity I adopted and raised all these years.” Prior to that we didn’t know the nature of their relationship. It’s weird for it to come out more than half way through the movie but at least they mentioned it, I guess.

Frollo

The real head scratcher, at least for me, is that he wears red. Why? Oddly, he’s not the only Frollo to wear red, the Dingo version also has red-cladded Frollo. Siting the Dingo version is not high praise. Frollo wears black, that his character, the end.

Frollo

It is sort of interesting to see a water-down, “kid- friendly,” diet Frollo who follows the book for most of the part minus all the depressing stuff. Though this Frollo missed the mark of being interesting as character. And why Red? Come on! Why does Hunchback try to make me hate red, I don’t.

Next Time – The Others

Clopin

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29Sep 2014

Project Re-Read Book 10, Chapters 1-4

by jess

Book 10, Chapter 1, Gringoire has Several Capital Ideas

Kenneth Haigh as Frollo and Christopher Gable as Gringoire

This chapter is a pun, because Gringoire now like architecture and capitals are the tops of columns but it also means good. In this chapter Frollo and Gringoire talk about saving Esmeralda from the suspension sanctuary which is a lie tah Frollo told Gringoire to get her out of Notre dame in his mercy.

Frollo comes up with the idea that Gringoire should take her place and if he gets hang who really cares, Gringoire does though. Gringoire then comes up with the attack idea and seeking Esmeralda out. Frollo approves.
Lot of versions don’t features Frollo’s lie, sanctuary gets suspended and the Court of Miracle sometime rise up and fight. I think the fact that a lie get blown so out proportion that ends with deaths of so many is more impactful. The only version to have the Frollo lie, that I have seen is the 1977 version. In fact in that version Frollo propose the idea that Esmeralda is pregnant which in the book was Gringoire and made Frollo either nagry or delighted, it so hard tell with him

Book 10, Chapter 2, Turn Vagabond!

Illustration of Jehan Frollo

In this chapter Jehan turns vagabond. That’s it. He comes looking for money and threaten to turn vagabond Frollo tell him to do it and he does but Frollo still give him money.

You know it just dawned on me, the book calls him Dom Claude more than Frollo. I guess that is a trait of the disney movie.

I don’t think any movies have this scene, the 1956 might but I can’t recall. Jehan says he will steal want he needs but taht is like at the strart of the movie so I don’t know if really counts. This chapter basically gets Jehan in to the fray.

Book 10, Chapter 3, Joy Forever!

Maurice Sarfati as Jehan, 1956 Hunchback of Notre dame

The Court of Miracles is on broad with Project Save Esmeralda and Wreck Notre Dame. Jehan also likes vagrant a.k.a vagabond I guess considering the last chapter. Seriously he took to it in like an hour.

Also yes i was right, the Duke of Egypt is a separate character, his given name is Mathias Hungadi Spicali. He is merged with Clopin so many times that if wasn’t for one illustration I would forget. Though he is in the 1956 version and addressed by name.

Sometimes you see this chapter in movies and sometime you don’t. I suppose I could say that about any chapter really.

Book 10, Chapter 4, An Awkward Friend

Molten Lead pours from Notre Dame 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

ATTACK!!! The Court of Miracles attack Notre Dame to save Esmeralda and loot it because they consider it to no longer be sacred and Notre Dame is only protected by its sanctity. This is really just the first part of the attack. Quasimodo defend against what he thinks is a threat when really he and the Court of Miracles want the same thing. Jehan also dies in this chapter by Quasimodo. In the end Quasimodo prays for a miracles as there is just too many for him.

I’m hard press to think of a Hunchback version that didn’t have the attack on Notre Dame. Well, the Enchanted Tales version didn’t, they has a not-so-epic run up Notre Dame stairs. In Secret of the Hunchback they fight in church.

Sometimes the Court of Miracles attacks and sometimes they don’t but mostly this chapter is done well. It’s curious though, the movie would have you think that the molten lead was the finishing move but it wasn’t.

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25Sep 2014

Thumbelina Review – Where Winter lasts a day and half and Fall 12 hours

by jess

Thumbelina

I have mentioned nostalgia clouding bad kid movies and trying to be above it, that being said it has caught up with me in a little way. A part of me knows that Don Bluth’s Thumbelina is not a good movie, it has a lot issues, but, but, but I really like this movie. I have good happy memories this movie. Even though it has some flaws, I still like it.

Thumbelina was released in 1994 by Don Bluth. It was clearly him copying that sweet, sweet Disney formula. In fact they played the Disney logo at the beginning at test screenings to help get positive ratings. This movie is really a Disney knock-off.

Thumbelina with Cornelius

The movie starts with off in Paris with Jacquimo, a swallow. He gives us theme about over coming impossibility because Disney has the monopoly on the being yourself theme. He tells the story of Thumbelina from book even though he was in the story. I’m confused but whatever.

Story goes, this lady wants a baby so she gets an enchanted flower and out pops full grown Thumbelina. Thumbelina isn’t fan of being small and lonely. She hopes her love will come by and low and behold he does, one Fairy Prince Cornelius. After 7 minutes and 39 seconds of screen time which includes a Whole New World knock-off, they are in love and on their way to engagement or they are, I can’t really tell. I guess it like engaged to be engaged.

However, Thumbelina is kidnapped in the night by Charo-Toad. Charo-Toad, like everyone else in this movie, is smitten with Thumbelina’s voice. She wants to add Thumbelina to her act and she wants her to marry her son Grundel. They ditch Thumbelina on a lily pad to get the Padre or something.

As Thumbelina is stuck on the lily pad, Jacquimo FLIES by. Thumbelina tells her tale of love and woe and Jacquimo congratulations her for being in love. Jacquimo helps her off the lily pad by cutting it lose and getting some fishes to pull her to shore. Jacquimo tells her to follow her heart to find her way home and while she does that Jacquimo will FLY around looking for Cornelius.

Thumbelina then gets caught by Mr Beetle, played by Gilbert Gottfried who wants her to sing at the Beetle Ball. However, her Beetle costume was poorly made and falls off revealing her as not a bug and the beetles call her ugly. As she laments, Jacquimo FLIES by and comforts her. He comforts her by saying as long as the guy you like thinks your pretty it doesn’t matter. I think it’s just bad writing there.

Then winter comes, and Jacquimo and Cornelius, who have been looking for Thumbelina are knocked out of commission. Also on the hunt for Thumbelina are Grundel who has Mr Beetle working for him.

As the cold weather sets in, Thumbelina is saved from death by Ms. Fieldmouse. Ms. Fieldmouse informs Thumbelina that Cornelius is dead. Thumbelina gets to mourn him for a solid 15 seconds because they have visit Mr. Mole. Mr. Mole also likes Thumbelina’s voice and tells them that he found a dead bird which turns out to be Jacquimo but he isn’t dead. Mr. Mole then pays off Ms. Fieldmouse to persuade Thumbelina to marry him.

Thumbelina, heart-broken over Cornelius’ death and thinking she will never get home decides to marry the mole. She tells Jacquimo this and after she pulls a thorn from his wing he tells her to go with him to the prince. She does not as she think Cornelius is dead.

Thumbelina is about to marry the mole but can’t because she doesn’t love him and escapes. As she does, Grundel shows up and so does Cornelius who wasn’t dead just a little frozen. Jacquimo shows up again and takes Thumbelina to what he claims is the Vale of the Fairies. Thumbelina is pessimistic and asks him to take her home but he insists on her singing. As she sings spring comes and Cornelius shows up. Yay. They kiss and Thumbelina gets wings and they get married. Hooray!

Thumbelina with Jacquimo

The number one problem is that Jacquimo at any point could have flown Thumbelina home. We wouldn’t have had a movie but it’s a glaring issue. I’m not sure why he didn’t think to offer this or why Thumbelina didn’t ask. He instead offers to find Cornelius but he could have done that after he brought her home. It’s just one those plot hole that just leaves you confused and asking why.

Thumbelina

Another issue is with Thumbelina herself. Thumbelina doesn’t learn anything and she doesn’t earn her happy ending, it’s pretty much handed to her. All she has to do is say no to money but she was never about money and was wholly about love so there no growth for her character.

As far as her personality go, she is impressionable. Considering we don’t know how much time passes between her “birth” and the events of this movie, she could be a like two days old. So her being sheltered is understandable. She is also very pessimistic, she says “It’s Impossible” a lot.

In a way it’s refreshing to see a princess-like character being a negative-nancy, on the other hand without character growth it’s a little annoying. The thing is she’s right, it was impossible since we don’t see her make it home. She does go back at end when she is getting married but she is probably going to live with fairies, so she never really makes it back home. It wouldn’t have been impossible if stupid bird-jerk gave her a ride.

Speaking of Thumbelina, what is she? Cornelius kind of implies that fairies can get their wings later, so she is a fairy? But how did that seed work? Is she at all genetically related to her mother? Do fairies come from seeds? When two fairies love each other very much, do they plant a flower and out comes a baby? Or a grown-up non-winged fairy? I’m confused.

Thumbelina with Mr Beetle

So as for the rest of the characters. They’re ok, Jacquimo is a well meaning co-dependent who is a little more than dumb, Cornelius is a rule-breaking flirt, the jitterbugs are cute, and the mom is bland but nice.

They other characters are ambitious and money grubbing. I think Grundel is a bit like Frollo, he obsessed with Thumbelina but doesn’t know her. I admit I do like Mr. Beetle, I find him amusing even if he is just Gilbert Gottfried doing Iago.

Thumbelina with Cornelius

Speaking of voice actors and Disney, Thumbelina is a pure unfiltered rip off of The Little Mermaid. Both are originally by Hans Christian Anderson, both use the same voice actress, Jodi Benson, both have red hair, both have beautiful and desirable voices. Hell both movies use Kenneth Mars voice of King Triton and the Fairy King. It even fade out to stain-glass. This movie feel very Disney-light.

Thumbelina with Mrs. Toad

So since a hallmark of Disney films is the animation and the songs how does those compare. The animation is really good. I really like how stagey the visuals are to the songs. Some of the characters design are overtly silly, dogs and goats with mustaches and Charo-toad. But on the whole it’s a pretty movie to look at.

Ms Fieldmouse

The songs were composed by Barry Manilow. I know people don’t like most of the songs, heck one won a Razzie but I don’t hate them. I prefer some over others. I like the Aladdin knock-off, Let me be your wings and the vague I want song, Soon.

The other songs are meh but enjoyable. That’s right, I enjoyed Marry the Mole, how often do you get a gold-digging song in a kid’s movie? It’s just enjoyably stupid.

Thumbelina with the Jitterbugs

Thumbelina is supposed to be about over coming impossibilities but it seems more like don’t do things for money but in copying Disney that is what Bluth did, he married the mole so to speak. I won’t deny this duality does lead to a kinda messy theme which in turn leads to a messy narrative but I do like this movie. Maybe it’s nostalgia for it but the I find Thumbelina enjoyable, with good pacing, lovely visuals, and some nice songs.

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24Sep 2014

Hypothetical Casting for Esmeralda – Deepika Padukone

by jess

Deepika Padukone

This isn’t a casting choice I thought up, I have seen this suggestion floating around the internet for a while. Deepika Padukone is a Bollywood actress that has been on the scene since about 2007 with her first major hit Om Shanti Om . Since then she has been a lot of popular Bollywood films, she also has an upcoming film called Finding Fanny. The question is would she make a good Esmeralda?

Deepika Padukone as Shanti Priya from Om Shanti Om

I would say yes. Padukone is a decent actress. I saw her in Om Shanti Om a few years ago, and I really enjoyed that movie. For this post I tried watching Chennai Express, which I loathed. It wasn’t Padukone’s fault, that film was under the impression that references to other Bollywood films is funny, and yes it can be but they did it way too much. Plus it just a bad movie but the references were beyond painful. Anyway, I think Padukone could pull Esmeralda off an acting level, I mean pending on the intent of the film, Esmeralda isn’t the deepest character.

Deepika Padukone

She also has a decent look for Esmeralda but only if they don’t go with her original back story. Padukone is known as a beauty in Bollywood which helps Esmeralda as she is suppose to be very beautiful. Also as a Bollywood actress she can dance, so another plus.

Deepika Padukone

All in all, I think Deepika Padukone would be a solid choice for the role. Would she be greatest Esmeralda ever? Can’t say but she would be a decent casting choice.

What do you think?

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23Sep 2014

1986 Quasimodo – The Sweetest Quasi Ever

by jess

Quasimodo 1986 Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

1986 Quasimodo

The 1986 version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame of Quasimodo is, umm, well, there? What do I mean by that? Well outside of the fact that he basically Charles Laughton sans the meager edge he had in kidnap attempt, he is just a representation of Quasimodo.

Quasimodo and Frollo

He does all the Quasimodo things; He is Frollo’s minion, he’s deaf, he is whipped, he saved Esmeralda, and defends Notre Dame. But outside of the movie telling the viewer that he is beautiful and innocent there is nothing to him.

Quasimodo

There is ONE thing that is sort of added, this Quasimodo doesn’t like to see how people react to him, which is why he lament his one eye. It’s not a new add-on but it’s something not wholly expressed in other versions.

Quasimodo

Aside from his personality, how is the deformity? It’s ok-ish. Much like the rest of the movie, the animation lacks fine details. You know there is a deformity, it’s the approximation of the way he looks. He also wears green which makes me think of the Disney design. Makes you wonder if someone at Disney saw this version.

Quasimodo

The 1986 version of Quasimodo isn’t as rich or detailed as some of the other versions and he makes the Laughton and Disney versions look menacing, which is a major feat.

Next Time – Frollo

Frollo

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22Sep 2014

Project Re-Read Book 9, Chapters, 4-6

by jess

Book 9, Chapter 4, Earthenware and Crystal

Esmeralda Maureen O’Hara 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

This chapter features a lot more interactions between Esmeralda and Quasimodo. He gives her a caged bird. One important interaction is Quasimodo tries to get Phoebus to come to Notre Dame to see Esmeralda. Poor Quasimodo waits around till 1am as Phoebus is at a pre-wedding party. Phoebus also doesn’t come because he believes Esmeralda to be dead. Quasimodo failing this task cause him to limit his interactions with Esmeralda. He then tries to convince her that his love for her is better than her dreams of Phoebus. He does this by singing to her and with a visual of two vases, one beautiful crystal that is cracked so the flowers are withered and one earthenware which is course and common but it retains the water leaving beautiful flowers. Esmeralda choices the wither flower from the crystal vase. You don’t have to be an English major to get the imaginary of the vase, Phoebus is the Crystal and Quasimodo is the earthenware. After that Quasimodo doesn’t interact with Esmeralda directly which is okay with but he sleeps outside her cell.

This chapter has been done in parts in movies, mainly in the Quasimodo getting Phoebus for Esmeralda. Sometimes he offers to get him like in the book and sometimes Esmeralda makes him go. The caged bird is seen sometimes. He also tries to tell Esmeralda that he loves her but can’t. This chapter also gives use the famous ” Oh, why am I not made of stone, like you.” Which is said to a grotesque image carved on a wall and not a gargoyle. I suppose gargoyles are more dramatic for a movie.

No movie that I know has done the vases. This because it relies on Esmeralda being shallow and naive and the movie versions at this point grow her up where she accepts Quasimodo as at least a friend.

All in all, it’s a good interesting chapter.

Book 9, Chapter 5, The Key to the Porte-Rouge

Daniel Lavoie as Frollo Notre Dame de Paris

This chapter is Frollo learning that both Esmeralda and Phoebus are alive and thus is torment begins anew. He spends his time locked away and realizes he is jealous of Quasimodo. Then one night he can’t take his lust any more he head over to where Esmeralda is.

This is never done in the movie versions. If Frollo goes to Esmeralda it’s less pre-mediated or we just never see as Frollo isn’t the focus.

Book 9, Chapter 6, The Key to the Porte-Rouge (continued)

Derek Jacobi as Frollo & Lesley-Anne Down as Esmeralda, 1982 Hunchback of Notre Dame

In this chapter Frollo tires to force himself on Esmeralda. Esmeralda is saved when she find the whistle that Quasimodo left her in chapter 3 of book 9, Deaf. Quasimodo attack Frollo but when he sees it’s Frollo he tells Frollo to kill him with the knife but Esmeralda grabs it first. Frollo isn’t too happy now.

You do sometimes see this scene in the movie, like in 1923, 1956, 1977, and the1982. It seldom ever played out perfect though I think the 1977 version is the closest.

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18Sep 2014

Happily Ever After Review; Your Prince is in another Castle

by jess

Happily Ever After

Unlike Fergully, I have memories of watching Happily Ever After as kid. It was sort of special to me because I could only watch it at my friends’ house. That being said there is no power of nostalgia or sentiment clouding this movie for me, this movie is terrible. It’s psychically hurts.

It was made by in 1988, completed in 1990 and released in 1993 by Filmation. It’s been in moratorium since October 25th 1996. It only saw actively for three years. What does that say about the quality of this movie?

Snow White and the Shadow Man

Happily Ever After is a sequel to Snow White in a general sense. It starts with the Evil Queen’s minions partying and celebrating her death. Then the Evil Lord Maliss (too subtle), the Queen’s brother, comes in and is pissed off and plots revenge on Snow White.

Snow White and her nameless prince are on route to invite the dwarves to their wedding. Why didn’t they send an invitation via mail? The Plot says so, damn it. They get attacked by Maliss in dragon form and Snow White gets away but the Prince isn’t so lucky.

Snow White runs into a dark forest and reaches the dwarves’ house but now their cousins live there, the seven Dwarfelles, chick dwarves. They all have have super powers that are based on their names, convenient isn’t it. They take Snow White to Mother Nature at Rainbow Falls (sounds likes something for a Skittles commerial) for help on how to get her Prince back. But Maliss shows up and tells Snow White that if she wants her Prince back to come to his castle in the Realm of Doom (still way too subtle). Hey movie, subverting a stereotype doesn’t really correct it. But whatever, at least Snow White has to do something.

So off they all go. Along the way, they encounter a shadow man who looks like Orko from He-Man, so I’m just going to call him Orko. The Dwarfelles don’t really trust Orko but Snow White figures out that Orko seems to be helping her. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder who Orko could really be, hmmmmmmm, it’s so hard to figure out!

Then Snow White is captured by Maliss. But what’s this, her Prince is there in castle and leads her to some place with creepy statues. Hmmmmm, he is acting lot less bland than he was a the start of the movie, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder why that could be?

OH, because it was really Maliss in design, OH geeze, movie, how you tricked me……….

Maliss’ plan is to turn Snow White into stone with a cloak. Remember when they mentioned that Maliss has a cloak that turns this into stone earlier? Neither do I! Anyway the dwarfelles try to save her but fail and get turned to stone all except the inept Thunderella. Orko also tries to help but gets K.Oed. I do like Snow White bitch slapping Maliss but then she gets tied up.

Anyway, Thunderella gets her weather powers under control which gives Snow White the chance to throw the cloak over Maliss. And then every one is better but Orko. However Snow White’s tears or love or some BS save him but what’s this? Orko was really the Prince under Maliss’ spell. OH WHAT A TWIST, I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING AT ALL! And yeah happy ending.

Sunburn and Scowl

This movie is a mess from start to finish. It doesn’t come across in my little write up but this movie, like the 1939 Gulliver’s Travels, focuses a lot more on the side characters, the Dwarfells and the evil minions, Scowl the Owl and Batso the Bat. Oh, the clever geniuses that thought up those names. Scowl and Batso are very annoying to the point of killing brain cells. They are heavy focused and really add nothing to anything.

Furthermore, I really dislike how bats are portrayed in children’s movies. Bats are awesome creatures who can eat mosquitoes. I know I dissed Batty from Ferngully last week but Batty is a billion times better than Batso. I mean they could have cut Scowl and Batso out but they need stupid goofiness to combat the creepiness.

The Dwarfelles (I die a little each time I type that) were also annoying especially Sunburn. I hated her saying “that really burns me up” over and over and over again and again and again. It was painful.

Snow White and her Prince

Other than the outright goofy characters we have the supposed main characters; Snow White, Mr. Prince “Orko” Shadow Man and Lord Maliss. They are all bland. Prince is more interesting in his cursed state but then it becomes a Beauty and the Beast thing.

Also I want point out that by the Prince helping Snow White at every turn doesn’t it help to subvert the damsel in distress stereotype that they were truing to go for, so this movie just plays into it.

Lord Maliss

Maliss I want to say is interesting because his motive comes from place of love for his sister. But why is he after Snow White? She didn’t kill the queen, wasn’t she like dead when that happened?

Anyway Maliss is just evil and not really delightfully so either. I wished he had done away with Scowl in a quicker fashion than that stupid candle rope thing. I mean he has the cloak, instant death. I really hate Scowl. I hate this movie………. cries

Snow White

Snow White, well she does look like Snow White, that a plus. She is fairly bland, I mean she does tries to defend herself and is nice. It’s not really her fault that she lacks interest.

The movie doesn’t care about her as character, she is a plot point for the side characters. I wished the movie had explored her more as the movie follows her but I think the movie would have rather not, it would rather been about Scowl and Batso, grrr hates.

The Shadow Man a.k.a The Prince a.k.a an Orko Knock-off

I mentioned that the Prince’s Shadow Man form looked liked Orko from He-Man but prior to that I thought the Prince in his regular form looked like something out of He-man. And I was right, Filmation is the studio who did He-Man and this abomination.
The animation is not good. It looks old even for 1988 when it was made. Snow White was clearly rotoscoped which like have said in other posts, looking jarring with clearly non-rotoscope characters exist in the same scene.

Snow White hugs Thunderella

Then were have the songs, which are also mind-numbingly painful. I just point out, NOT ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS GETS A SONG! Scowl gets one as do Thunderella and Mother Nature. Snow White’s voice actress Irene Cara sings the credit song but still, only side characters get the chance to sing.

I also take issue that Thunderella’s song, which is like a hopeful self empowerment and existential song is done BEFORE HER NAME IS GIVEN. I don’t know this character yet so I can’t feel for her through this cheesy song. They are so old and dated sounding it’s insulting to my rotting mind.

Snow White bitch slapping Lord Maliss

I would bet that Happily Ever After’s budget went to hiring the voice talent, which have some heavy hitters but it neglected the animation, writing and everything else. This movie is a massive fail.

And just to insult the viewer more, Scowl gets top billing. I really loath this movie.

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17Sep 2014

Which Hunchback is the Worst?

by jess

The Worst Hunchback Version Poll

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