Kristen Stewart picture image

Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart is a weird actress. Some people think she is ok and others say she is terrible. She confused Hollywood that she was bankable because for some reason that I will never understand Twilight was popular.

Kristen Stewart as Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman picture image

Kristen Stewart as Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman

I have seen most of the Twilight movies because I like to torment myself and Twilight is not a good measure for any actor’s ability. Sir Laurence Olivier could not save that movie franchise. I did try to watch Snow White and the Huntsman . I’m one those people who tries to finish movies even if they are awful. I made it as far as the Miyazaki deer before turing it off. But what I can say is this, Kristen Stewart should not be in period films.

Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan Twilight picture image

Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan Twilight

She would make a miserable Esmeralda. She is pretty enough but I can’t see her trying to be naive or sensual. I guess if someone was high enough to cast her she would be the justice type Esmeralda. But Kristen Stewart is better at that incredulous style of acting which would not work with Esmeralda at all.

Kristen Stewart picture image

Kristen Stewart

I won’t say she doesn’t have the right look for Esmeralda. I mean she could pull of Esmeralda’s look more than Snow White since movies ignore Esmeralda’s description from the novel. Kristen Stewart would breath no life into the role, she would stand there with wide eyes and her mouth hang open. If she ever was considered for Esmeralda, I would worry about the sanity of the people in charge.

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude

Not going to lie, Jean-Claude might be my favorite thing about this movie, which I guess is sad. There is no hiding that he is more Gaston than Frollo but he is so over-the-top that he is just delightful.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on MelodyEnchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody

Jean-Claude is an egotistical rich boy who hates fun and love taxes. The only part of him that is reminiscent of Frollo, besides being the antagonistic in a movie that bares the Hunchback name, is that he is obsessed with Melody a.k.a not-Esmeralda. He doesn’t really lust after her so much as he of just wants a date. I think him wanting a date comes out of his vanity  more than him wanting her. But he is hung up on capturing her but even that comes out his vanity.

 Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame

Jean-Claude

This movie would have you believe that Jean-Claude hates the Gypsies because they are different. I would say no. He seems just to hate poor people and loves money. He also gets money from taxes so people who cause distractions to work and don’t pay him his taxes are the enemy. He is motivated by money just like the creators of this movie.

 

 Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

Jean-Claude

There is no hiding that he looks like Gaston. In fact, he looks and acts more like Gaston than The Secret of the Hunchback version who is also after money and looks like Gaston.

With him being motivated by vanity he is further removed from Frollo whose vanity lay in him maintaining his purity. So in reality he is nothing like Frollo however most adaptions simplify Frollo so I’m not to surprised. At least compared to the rest of characters he is entertaining.

 Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame  picture image

Jean-Claude

There is not a lot to this guy, he is for all intended purposes a mustache-twirling villain. He has no depth and I’m ok with that. This version is not in the business of depth and complexity so to have it would have been phony. There is something delightful about a egomaniac villain.

Also Jean-Claude gets some good lines and some silly banter with his minion, so I forgive him since he the only thing in this movie that I can stand.

Next time the Stupid Instruments

The Instruments Enchanted tales Hunchback of Notre  picture image

The Annoying Instruments

 

 

 

 

 

Got Five Chapters Today!

Book 2, Chapter 3, Besos Para Golpes
The title of this chapter means ‘A Kiss brings Pain‘ in Spanish.  Quite a lot happens in this chapter. Gringoire having reached The Place de Grève to warm himself  from the bonfire sees Esmeralda for the first time and is smitten. He also sees Frollo, or the a bald man staring.  Sister Gudule yells at Esmeralda and Frollo stops Quasimodo’s reign as the Pope of Fools.   I really enjoy this chapter because it the first time in the book you get a  sense for the personalities of characters other than Gringoire.

 

Book 2, Chapter 4, The Inconveniences of Following a Pretty Woman in the Street at Night
This chapter set our plot in motion. It starts with our pal Gringoire following Esmeralda  home. As he’s following her, Frollo and Quasimodo try to kidnap her. Gringoire calls for help and Phoebus saves Esmeralda and arrests Quasimodo. Because of these events it’s an important chapter. However it plays out in a humorous way. Gringoire delights in stalking Esmeralda while she is a little more than annoyed. The Kidnap itself makes up a brief part of the end and it still sort of funny. I do like that Quasimodo’s weapon, ugliness, is proven useless in the dark. I don’t like him being liken to a bat, bats are awesome and a symbol of good luck, minor point. All in all I enjoyed this chapter.

 

 

Book 2, Chapter 5, The Continuation of the Inconveniences
In the previous chapter, Quasimodo throws Gringoire into the gutter and this is the aftermath of it. Gringoire tries to think about Quasimodo’s companion and he thinks of Frollo but is really certain why he thinks of him.  He is then almost burned under a mattress by some punk-ass kids called gamin, which means street urchin. You know Street Urchin does  not refer to the little friends from the sea which I ate once a sushi place and didn’t care  but rather it comes from the old French for Hedgehog. Ok, getting back on track this chapter is ok. It severed to link the other man to Frollo. Otherwise it get us from the Kidnaping to the next event. Most movies omit this scene.

 

 

Book 2, Chapter 6, The Broken Pitcher
Whew, Long Chapter (though not the longest). This where our pal Gringoire gets into a real pickle! After running from the gamins, he gets lost and when he relieves that mattress was what he’s been looking (either sleep or warmth) he gets more lost and runs into vagrants and stumbles into the Court of Miracles, which is a bar of sorts. The Court of Miracles itself was a French term which referred to slum districts of Paris, France where the unemployed migrants from rural areas resided. Gringoire meets the ruler, Clopin and is sentence to Gringoire to hang. Gringoire is given a chance by stealing from the bellboy (a dummy with bells on him) while standing on a stool on one leg. He fails, this task was meant to be fail. Then he offered to the ladies. In the end, Esmeralda saves him and the two are married for 4 years. This chapter is very humorous since you take delight in Gringoire’s pain. You know Clopin is having a jolly time jerking this guy around and either hanging or wedding, Gringoire did provide entertainment.

 

 

Book 2, Chapter 7, A Wedding Night
Grinoire is taken to Esmeralda’s place where Gringoire learns she is not interested in him as a lover. They pretty much settle on friends. Gringoire and Esmeralda BFF! We get some minor backstory for Esmeralda like she know nothing like Jon Snow (Sorry I’ve been reading  the A Song of Ice and Fire series). Though we find out she been in Paris for only a few month, she said since last August and the novel starts in January. Speaking this chapter,  it ends the events of January 6th 1482. We also see her amulet for the first time. For all the gaps in Esmeralda’s backstory, Gringoire makes up for it with his long backstory about his failed vocations and how awesome Frollo is. This is a nice chapter as we finally get  insights into  Esmeralda’s character. I like the interplay between Gringoire and Esmeralda. It kind of a shame there is not more or it in the book.

 

Fantasia 2000 picture image

Fantasia 2000

Fantasia 2000 is the sequel to the 1940 Disney movie, Fantasia. I love Fantasia, it’s so cool but  Fantasia 2000 is meh. There is like one great  segment, some good segments and the rest are meh. However since it’s music videos to classical music with Disney animation it very subjective, though we can all agree that the celebrity cameos were annoying and they  screamed sell-out.

 

I’m going to take it by the parts.

 

Symphony No 5 Butterflies Fantasia 2000 picture image

Symphony No 5 Butterflies

Symphony No 5 in C-minor-I. Allegro con brio by Ludwig van Beethoven with abstract Butterflies.
They were trying to recreate the lines of the original’s Toccata and Fugue. I feel like they were trying way t0o hard to make this combo work. They also told a little narrative while trying to be abstract so it lowers the point of fluid shapes and movement with music.  It just didn’t really work.

 

Pines of Rome Flying Whales Fantasia 2000 picture image

Pines of Rome Flying Whales

Pines of Rome by Ottorino Respighi with Flying Whales
I give them credit for imagination but again I felt a disconnect between the visuals and the music. I didn’t hear night or a cold climate in the music. The icy night with whales is pretty, I give it that. Also the narrative was weak. This doesn’t  even need a narrative, Whales Flying is enough. Then there was storm because the music demanded it but not because of flow. There was also this lovely piano movement when the little calf was trapped behind the icy and they failed to capitalize on it.  The ending scene was pretty and the Whales breaching the clouds was lovely.

 

Drummer from Rhapsody in Blue Fantasia 2000 picture image

Drummer from Rhapsody in Blue

Rhapsody in Blue by Geogre Geshwin with 1930’s New York
At first I liked this one. I thought the sync was fun but it worn on me. I just got bored with it. It was also a conventional choice for the music.  I suppose the “risk” with this one is the animation. But you expect Disney to push animation boundaries and not narrative or visual boundaries.

 

Tin Soldier and Ballerina Fantasia 2000 picture image

Tin Soldier and Ballerina

 

Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major-I. Allegro by Dmitri Shostakovich with  Tin Soldier
Apparently the creators on the original Fantasia wanted to use this story for Fantasia but couldn’t find the right music. Given that, it’s not a surprise that the visuals just tell the story of the Steadfast Tin Soldier albeit with a Disney happy ending.  I would have liked this more if not for the style of the CGs. They just looked not good but they did move well. If this one was tradition drawn animation it would have been way better.

 

Flamingos and a yo-yo Fantasia 2000 picture image

Flamingos and a yo-yo

The Carnival of Animals, Finale by Camille Saint-Saëns with Flamingos and a yo-yo
Groans. I didn’t love this one. It was cute and goofy but it didn’t work for me. At least it was short. Personally with Camille Saint-Saëns I would have rather seen the Aquarium  or Danse Macabre, I love Danse Macabre. The music choice isn’t the issue though this is too goofy and silly.

 

 The Sorcerer's Apprentice Fantasia 2000 picture image

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Paul Dukas with Mickey Mouse
This one was shameless thrown in to pad out the movie. I will admit this one isn’t one  of my favorites from  the original but it’s iconic.  Though having this piece in here defeats the purpose of an ever evolving series of movies which was Fantasia’s original intent.

 

 Noah's Ark with Pomp and Circumstance Fantasia 2000 picture image

Noah’s Ark with Pomp and Circumstance

Pomp and Circumstance -Marches 1, 2, 3 and 4 by Edward Elgar with Donald Duck and Noah’s Ark
I hate Pomp and Circumstance. I didn’t like this one but I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would since  the story is cute. But the sync is weird at time. the animals burst out and there is nothing musically. I think combo works in a way but I didn’t like that much.    Disney doesn’t have enough power to change how the Graduation song is perceived by the public. They should have picked another song or something.

 

The Spring Sprite in The Firebird Suit  Fantasia 2000 picture image

The Spring Sprite in The Firebird Suite

Firebird Suite -1919 Version by Igor Stravinky with The Spring Sprite
Hands Down this one is the best of the bunch. It’s gorgeous, the sync is not always there but of the newer bunch it’s best. Though it’s very Miyazaki, seems like it was inspired by Princess Mononoke. I also take umbrage with the Firebird from Russian folklore as a source of destruction.

 

Flying Whale Calf Fantasia 2000 picture image

Flying Whale Calf

None of these measure up to the original. Reading the trivia I think part of the problem is they were too concerned with the style of animation and not the synergy of the combos. They also seemed to mimic the original but didn’t capture the mood and drama.

 

The Firebird getting its flame on  Fantasia 2000 picture image

The Firebird getting its flame on

Also there is no mood or darkness. These parts are all soft and nice. The Firebird suite is darkest this movie goes and it’s no Rite or Spring with fighting Dinosaurs, or Zeus throwing lightening for fun or Chernobog partying with the dead. It’s kinda all one note and safe.

 

The Little Girl from Rhapsody in Blue Fantasia 2000 picture image

The Little Girl from Rhapsody in Blue

Another issue is  all these segments are stories. Stories in it of themselves are not a bad things but it made the segments limiting in scope. In the original, the segments were not devoid of stories but they had little story vignettes. The Pastoral symphony is the a great example of little story vignettes in a cohesive setting and style.

Story vignettes allowed the music and setting more a chance to mingle instead of a flowing narrative.  The trouble with Fantasia 2000 is there was no spectrum to how the animators approached the visuals, they were all story driven. Because of  the lack variety, the segments have interesting concepts but not so much with the sync and the visuals.

 

Donald Duck  and Daisy Duck  Fantasia 2000 picture image

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck

As a fan of the original I was really disappointed by Fantasia 2000. It was far too calculated and didn’t have the same power as the original.

Being forced to watch very, very bad versions of Hunchback makes me more grateful to the Disney version. The Disney version is not perfect but they did at least put out a solid effort into their version and made a good movie. You can’t really say that for the Enchanted tales version. So I thought I would list of what I consider to be the Top Ten  Best Things about The Disney version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

 

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

10. Clopin
Clopin is just such a fun and interesting character. He kinds neither good or bad. I guess he more of a light gray. I wish he was in more of the movie.

 

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame singing "God Help the Outcast" picture image

Esmeralda singing “God Help the Outcast” Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

9. Animation
Gorgeous Animation is a Disney hallmark and the Hunchback is no exception. There are some gorgeous shots. Though the CG crowds didn’t age well but you seldom really notice them unless you’re looking.

 

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quaismodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

8.The Pacing
The pacing is great in this movie. There are no low points and the story moves from point to point really well.

 

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

7.  Accuracy to Notre Dame
The way they rendered the  Cathedral is lovely and you can see all the effort that went in to it. I mean they did make it larger but they did capture its Beauty and it intricate little details. They might have been to accurate since they included elements that were not present at the time of the story but that is a nitpick that you would have to be aware of.

 

Clopin Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback Notre Dame picture image

Clopin Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback Notre Dame

6. The Songs
With one exception, you know the one, the songs are really great. Some are better than others but on the whole they are great.

 

Frollo and Notre Dame Bells Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo stares at Notre Dame during the Bells of Notre Dame FDisney Hunchback of Notre Dame

5. The Music Score
The Score was inspired by Mozart’s Requiem Mass and it really is gorgeous especially Sanctuary. It really one the best Disney scores ever.

Frollo and Baby Quasimodo bells Disney Hunch back of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo and Baby Quasimodo during the Bells of Notre Dame Disney Hunch back of Notre Dame

 

4. Frollo
Frollo is one of the most complex Disney Villains. On one hand he is cool and cruel and the other he’s bat-shit crazy but he thinks he’s good and just even when trying to kill a baby he thinks he is in the right.

 

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

3. Hellfire/Heaven’s Light

 

This is kind of like A Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria in reverse. A Lot of the drama comes from the duality of the Heaven and Hell. Though you would get little argument that Hellfire is the better song in both the visuals and the lyrics. It so dark and twisted but Heaven’s Light just elevates Hellfire crazed hellish tone. It’s kind ironic that Frollo is praying to Mary in this song.

 

A Puppet of Quasimodo bells Disney Hunchback of notre dame picture image

A Puppet of Quasimodo during the Bells of Notre Dame Disney Hunchback of notre dame

2. The Opening
The Opening is amazing. In 5 minutes we get some drama, some humor and all the backstory. The song and the visuals are wonderful.  I like how dark this gets and there is no denying that crescendo at the end. Flawless

Quaismodo Bells of Notre dame reprise Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quaismodo Bells of Notre dame reprise Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

 

1. It introduced people to The Hunchback of Notre
While of course this is not true for everyone, The Disney version did introduced people to the characters and the ideas of the novel. Without it people may not be fans of original story today.

 

Honorable mention Djali

I love Djali to pieces

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Quasimodo Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo

It’s ironic that the ONLY character is this poo-fest to keep their original name is so far removed from the original intent of the character that it is downright insulting.

I mean is the story so fucking complicated that no one can really get it right or do people just not care? I mean who said Quasimodo should be handsome, did they read the story or did you think that their creativity made them above at least getting the basics right? I hate the Enchanted Tales version of Hunchback AHHHHHHHHHHH

(Inhales)

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

Ok, let start with SOME positives. Quasimodo is not the focal character. That’s actually something. In the book, you never follow Quasimodo the same as Esmeralda, Frollo or even Gringoire but because he is the titular character he gets to be a focal point.

Quasimodo also gets a back story and while it’s stupid at least it something. In the novel it was hinted that he could be a Gypsy so here it’s a nice micro call out.

Quasimodo with the Ding-Bats   Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo with the Ding-Bats

However, despite having a backstory. it ruins some points of Quasimodo, First off, he and the Frollo character, Jean-Claude, are half-brothers and that doesn’t bother me so much, it bothers me that Quasimodo is older. Quasimodo is older then his father-figure-like character. It just seems wrong. I’m surprised they didn’t go with step-brother angle, more cliches!

However the biggest F.U. with the backstory is that Quasimodo was not born deformed and get got his hunch from working too much. Although later it’s revealed that his hunch was the result of sadness. Enchanted Tales hates the original hunchback story right? That is the only way to process this shit. He has a curvature of the spine because he’s Emo. (Facepalm)

Quasimodo bells to Melody Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo bells to Melody

Quasimodo in this has next to no personality, so he’s perfect for his little chicky-poo Melody. I mean he yells at one point but then retracts it with a derpy love song. Also in that scene Quasimodo wants Melody to leave but then give her bells. He made a gift for her that he never really intended to give her, Creepy!

Handsome Quasimodo  Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Handsome Quasimodo a.k.a Wholemodo?

I could take his no personality and him being older than a half-brother Frollo if they at least kept the fundamentals. His “deformities” or rather his icky looks were just him with bad posture and unkempt hair because he was sad. That was it? Not hideous.

Hmm I guess you could he is a bit of drama queen. And sure he rings bells at a place called Notre Dame but his being a handsome beefy guy that with a better animation budget would look like a Disney Prince is just unforgivable.

Melody and a handome Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and a “handome” Quasimodo

Then to add the worst insult the fucking movie tells us the viewer that looks don’t matter. If looks don’ matter then why bother making Quasimodo handsome in the first place? It’s such a terrible way to present that moral because it’s saying look that don’t matter if you’re considered conventional attractive ARGH.

Melody and Quasimodo getting married Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo getting married

Who wrote this? A handsome Quasimodo who then totes that looks are not important should not be getting paid to write especially for young kids/babysitter fodder.

Next time – Jean-Cluade a.k.a Not Frollo

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude

Book 1, Chapter 5, Quasimodo

The contest for the Pope of Fools begins and ends in this chapter. We are treated to a very detailed description of to what Hugo’s Quasimodo looks like. The men reveal in Quasimodo’s ugliness and the women fears it. One women even claims that Quasimodo practices witchcraft. I feel like this chapter finally starts the story going. It also shows off Quasimodo’s impressive collection of nicknames.

Book 1, Chapter 6, Esmeralda

While the Pop of Fools contest goes one, Grigoire and his actor continue on with their play as a few people are still sort of listening. The final nail in the play’s coffin comes when someone says that Esmeralda has entered the square. This chapter is interesting because in the last paragraph we get two references to the Virgin Mary. So even before we meet Esmeralda, she already aligned to the Virgin.

Book 2, Chapter 1, From Charybdis to Scylla

Between Scylla and Charybdis is an Idiom that comes out of Greek Mythology that means ” having to choose between two evils.” It’s like “between a rock and a hard place.” Charybdis and Scylla are both sea monsters.

Now that Gringoire’s play is dead, he finds himself in a pickle. He’s broke so he can’t return to his lodging as he own them money and he can’t seem to find a quiet place to sleep because of the feast. In the end Gringoire says “Fuck it” and heads over to the The Place de Grève because it you can’t beat them join them. I liked this chapter, I know hoe Gringoire feels here. I feel your pain Pierre.

Book 2, Chapter 2, The Place de Grève

This Chapter describes The Place de Grève it also foreshadows the pillory and the giblet. It’s a short chapter filled with description but not wholly dull just a little.

The Rescuers Down Under picture image

The Rescuers Down Under

The Rescuers Down Under is one of those rare sequels that is better than the original. The original movie is just cute but the sequel is action pact and just amped up. That is not to say it doesn’t have its flaws but it is the finest Disney sequel and not in the same league with the other Disney sequels. It is also one of the few sequels to be part of the Disney Cannon of Animated Films.

Cody and Marahute The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Cody and Marahute

What’s the Plot? In the Australian Outback, a young boy named Cody, saves a rare Golden Eagle, Marahute from a trap and befriends her. He meets her eggs and she gives him one of her feathers.

Afterwards Cody saves a mouse form a trap but gets catch in a pit. The Poacher who setted the trap finds him along with his Goanna Lizard, Joanna. The Poacher, one Percival C. McLeach helps Cody out of the trap but when he finds the Golden feather he kidnaps Cody as he wants Marahute but needs the boy for info.

The Mouse then contacts the Rescue Aid Society, RAS. The RAS recruits Miss Bianca and Bernard for this mission. Bernard however is trying to propose to Miss Bianca but news of the mission interrupts him. They chartered an Albatross named Wilbur and it’s off they go. Once there they make contact with a local mouse named Jake, who takes a fancy to Miss Bianca and volunteers as their tour guide and Wilbur get some less than needed back surgery. Surgery in a Disney movie, how wonderfully decadent.

Cody in the meantime is not giving McLeach the information on Marahute’s whereabouts soMcLeach throws him in a cage along side other captive animals. Cody along side the animals try to get the key but they are thwarted by Joanna. In the end Frank, a Frilled Lizard escapes using his tail. However before Frank can save everyone Mcleach lets Cody go telling that Marahute is dead and soon the eggs will die. Mcleach lies to Cody so that Cody will go to the eggs and he will find Marahute.

Miss Bianca, Bernard and Jake at this point have reached McLeach’s lair and try to warn Cody. But they all manage to tell Cody after he reaches Marahute’s nest. Mcleach then captures her along with Cody, Jake and Miss Bianca. Bernard is left behind. After Marahute is kidnapped, Mcleach sends Joanna to eat the eggs but Bernard switches the eggs for rocks, thwarting Joanna.

Wlibur turns up and Bernard tells him to guard the eggs as Bernard leaves to help. McLeach then tries to kill Cody by feeding him to crocodiles but in the end Cody is saved and Mcleach is throw off a waterfall. As they all (except Joanna who lived) are flying off on Marahute. Bernard finally asks Miss Bianca to marry him and she says yes. The eggs then hatched under Wilbur.

Miss Bianca, Jake, and Bernard The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Miss Bianca, Jake, and Bernard

I really liked this movie, it’s fun, action pact and the animation is miles better than the original. The pacing is really great too. However the story isn’t that perfect. The Rescuers and Cody have very little to do with each other and the rescuers themselves feel more like a subplot.

You also never get closure about the animals in Mcleach’s lair. I suppose you can assume Frank saved them but would have been nice to see it somehow. But they again after Cody leaves Mcleach we don’t go back so would have been a hard scene to go back to. Though those points are nitpicks.

Wilbur babysitting The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Wilbur babysitting

I think this movie biggest flaw though it that it came out in 1990, one year after Mermaid and one before Beauty and the Beast. Just bad timing as the action adventures of animals got pushed aside for Disney Princesses.

 

McLeach and Joanna The Rescuers Down Under picture image

McLeach and Joanna

The characters are also fun. McLeach and Joanna are awesome as silly yet menacing villains. Jake adds a bit conflict to Bernard and Miss Bianca but he’s not a jerk. Wilbur was fun and the surgery scenes were pretty silly. The captured animal scenes were bit long and some of the animals were a little annoying but the were too bad. Cody didn’t have much a of personality but he never bothered me. Joanna not taking should bothered me but Marahute doesn’t speak either, so I can forgive it.

The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Cody and Marahute

If you have been following my Disney Sequel reviews you will know that I tend to get caught up in animals vs habits. The Little Mermaid sequel teamed up a Walrus and Penguin saving other Penguins from a Hammer-head shark while a sea turtle swims by in the one of the Poles. The third one had a Manatee in the deep ocean. Tarzan messed up too, Warthogs in the Jungle, just because Lion King did it doesn’t mean you can.

Anyway…The Rescuers Down Under used animals that were native to the Australia. Even Marahute is based on something native to the area albeit New Zealand, Marahute is based on the Haast’s eagle, extinct large Eagle from the South Island of New Zealand. Haast’s Eagle is also part of Maori legends. In the movie Marahute feels magical but it nice to see that she is based on something relevant to that area of the world.

Joanna The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Joanna

Joanna is pretty awesome. She’s goofy but she is smart. In one scene she stealing eggs from Mcleach and tricking him in the process. But she calls attention to the fact that Joanna is one of the few Disney female minions.

I mean there are penalty of females villains but the only other female minions that I can think of that are minions are Shenzi and the chick from Atlantis. You could count the step-sisters from Cinderella and Si and Am from Lady and the Tramp though their gender is non-specific. If I forgot any other female minions, I’m sorry but there is a lack of them.

In all likelihood Joanna was probably a female as word play with the Goanna lizard. But I like they didn’t feminized her. I mean they could have thrown a bow on her or long lashes. It probably a political thing, they don’t want to place a female character in a role that is subservient. I can understand it but it nice to see female roles of equal playing field and Joanna proves that a female minions can work because Joanna is awesome.

 

Miss Bianca and Bernard The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Miss Bianca and Bernard

Before I end, I just want to say that Miss Bianca and Bernard are adorable, I loved the proposal subplot. It was just so endearing. I could argue that there wasn’t enough of them in the plot but I think less is more with them. I just  wish they had some more dialogue with Cody that’s all.

Cody and Marahute The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Cody and Marahute

The Rescuers Down Under is a really awesome movie that deserves more love. It’s fun and has gorgeous animation, that flying scene is amazing. It way better that the first movie.

No real Spoilers

Lena Heady as Cersei Lannister & Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones  picture image

Lena Heady as Cersei Lannister & Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones

I was reading the fourth Book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Feast for Crows,  A Song of Ice and Fire  is great series and what the HBO show Game of Thrones is adapted from.

In the fourth Cersei chapter, Cersei says that Tyrion could be hiding in the Baelor’s Sept, their big important church, swinging on the bell rope. Tyrion, who is the coolest, is Dwarf who is considered to be not too good looking and he has deformities. The implication of Tyrion “swinging from the bell rope” is clearly an homage to our pal Quasimodo.

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda,Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

The main focal character in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is Melody, our Esmeralda character.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on MelodyEnchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody

But why did they call her Melody? It’s not like Esmeralda’s personality isn’t repeatedly altered movie after movie that by changing the name they made a new character, it’s Esmeralda. So they gave her instruments instead of a goat, she is still the beautiful dancing Gypsy girl who captures Quasimodo’s heart.

My guess is that the creators thought Disney made-up the name Esmeralda for their movie because clearly no one on Enchanted Tales read the book and thought they would be sued.

Also, why Melody as the name choice? Everyone else has a French name, even her mother and the freaking donkey gets a French names but Melody doesn’t.

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody & Quasimodo

As for Melody’s look, not being Esmeralda, is not sexualized. She has brown hair and blue eyes. She has a tan skin tone and just to make her more pretty she has a beauty mark under her eye (eye-roll). She also doesn’t wear any red but wears yellow. Esmeralda did wear a golden corset once in the novel so one thing right about her overall look.

Oh wait fuck that, she’s not Esmeralda she’s Melody. I take back my almost positive comment.

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death

Melody gets the most screen time, so we must get an idea for her personality. Well, her mother did call her wild and free. I didn’t see that but I didn’t see anything against that. Melody kinda just does what she wants. Melody doesn’t let much bother either. She leaves Notre Dame and walks knowingly into a trap and is not phased. She gets thrown into jail and she doesn’t care the much, in fact she sings a stupid happy song. She is about to be executed and she yawns. She finds dying boring.

I think this mostly bad writing than character development. Otherwise she is just nice but fairly selectively, she not nice to Jean-Claude but he’s a douche. But more over she is just boring. Boring maybe a new facet for an Esmeralda-character but it’s a not a good thing.

Melody and her team of annoying instruments Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture images

Melody and her team of annoying instruments

Melody, unlike Esmeralda, has some kind of magic power. This power is the ability to bring musical instruments to life. This power is not explained and results in annoying-ness. This is her biggest flaw, it wasn’t for her those hell spawn of animation garbage wouldn’t have been in this. Those instruments make the gargoyles in the Disney version look charming. And if Melody had been executed perhaps they would have died with her.

I really hated those instruments and she is responsible for their creation so she is the worst Esmeralda ever.

Next Time Quasimodo

Quasimodo, enchanted tales  picture image

Quasimodo,