Today’s prophecy comes for the Hunchback Disney Script.
“You’re telling me! I’m losing to a Bird!”
It is futile to chose an avian as an opponent today.
Bambi II
I want to review Bambi II, really I do but it’s beyond reproach as Patrick Stewart is it and anything with Patrick Stewart is clearly awesome.
Alright, I’ll try and review it!
Bambi and The Great Prince
Bambi II is a midquel. It takes place during the time after Bambi’s mother dies and he is being raised by his dad, the Great Prince of the Forest. Basically the movie is about the Great Prince coming to terms with raising Bambi and Bambi trying to win his dad’s respect.
This story actually works and is pretty ok. It suffers from the typical issues of little drama when death or near-death is used. Though at one point a doe is trouble and that could have had some drama but they diffused the tension in favor of Bambi being chased by hounds and you know he going to be fine. Otherwise it not that bad but there are some issues.
Bambi watching The Great Prince fight off Hounds
First off this movie takes some influence from The Land Before Time
Bambi, Ronno, and Faline
Speaking of Ronno, what an annoying character. Ronno is a bully who is momma-boy. It seems like he is the rival stag in the original because of his motions towards Faline but not sure. I guess he is an antagonist and a foil to Bambi but he is annoying.
Bambi
Bambi himself has little personality but he didn’t really in the first so whatever.
The Great Prince
Bambi II does a fair job at keeping the atmosphere of the original. The original had these moments of dramatic and almost abstract lighting. Like the hounds in the grass is a pretty cool shot.
Bambi and The Great Prince
Bambi II
These are the least popular Hunchback items that I have created for Zazzle. They are pretty bad I confess. I don’t know what I was thinking on some of these.
#1 Esmeralda Textile Mousepad
Esmeralda Textile Mousepad by Hunchstore
#2 Esmeralda Tote
Esmeralda Illustrated Tote Bag by Hunchstore
#3 Quasi-No-Go Bumper Sticker
Quasi-No-Go Bumper Sticker by Hunchstore
#4 Frollo’s Dream Date
Frollo’s Perfect Date Magnets by Hunchstore
#5 Esmeralda Textile Necklace
Esmeralda Textile Necklace
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda, 1997 Hunchback of Notre Dame
The costumes in the 1997 version of the Hunchback
Edward Atterton as Gringoire
Speaking in favor of costumes as a whole they do look old. So many times in film and TV, the costumes look new and pristine. For a film like Hunchback this should not be the case, the clothes should look old and worn. This is something that was seen in Robin Hood. But are the costumes good? Meh, they’re average. Nothing is wrong but nothing is really is amazing.
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo
Let’s just get Quasimodo and Frollo out the way. Quasimodo’s look is pretty much stolen from 1939 version. It’s a good Quasimodo look compared to the 1956 version but the Chaney version set a standard for how Quasimodo should look and the 1939 version exceed it, so most versions try to match the 1939 version. This version did and didn’t add anything.
Richard Harris as Frollo
Frollo’s costume……..well…………it’s probably the most interesting costume in the whole adaptation. I don’t mean interesting as good thing though. Frollo’s look in the novel was meant to be severe and austere but this version’s Frollo amps it up. He wears a black cowl robe which is what he wears in the novel but the total baldness just makes him look silly. In my 1997 Frollo post I said he looks like Nosferatu from the 1922 movie and he does. It’s too austere of look to take it seriously.
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda, 1997 Hunchback of Notre Dame
Then we come to Esmeralda’s main costume. It’s a conventional medieval get-up. She wears a chemise with ties at the sleeves to reveal more arms, a corset and a skirt. The color is mostly shades of red tones however their is multiple colors mixed in the skirt and corset. The skirt itself looks like multiple scarfs that were fused to form a skirt. However the skirt is dyed in a vertical pattern and it seems to be a very light fabric. Though this costume is very inauthentic the different colors does help make it not as boring as it could have been.
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda and Edward Atterton as Gringoire
Unfortunately, this costume is made a little silly by the slave bracelet and the shoes. The shoes are forgivable on a practical sense but Esmeralda should be barefoot and somehow I think this costume would have been better sans the footwear. The Slave bracelet however is just silly. Slave Bracelets are bracelets that attract to a ring by a chain. They are based on Indian jewelry. My guess is the idea of her wearing one was to help push her an exotic beauty but the addition of it looks cheap.
Lady Marian in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Esmeraldas’ costume and the one wore by the Phoebus-like guard are very reminiscent of Robin Hood costumes. Esmeralda’s costume with it scarf like skirt is similar to costume wore by Lady Marian. Once I learned that Bloomfeild did both movie my head link these two costumes together. Phoebus-like guard has the same heavy layered and studded armor that was used in Robin Hood and it’s black so you know he bad. However the loose layers in very similar in both films.
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda and Edward Atterton as Gringoire
The costumes could have been boring but some decisions there were made either made them look good or silly. at best these costume are average to ok nothing more or less.
I just want to say, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves 
Next time; Sets
Notre Dame Set in teh 1997 version of Hunchback
Ariel and Erin on the Beach, The Little Mermaid
People like to think that The Little Mermaid , Ariel, was more than likely traumatized by her wedding night and the goings on of human sex opposed to her “fishy” ways. Well, for those people who think they are oh so clever, I’m going to say that she more than likely was not. I’m not a scientist but I do enjoy studying evolution and Ariel has several features that indicate that Mermaids are mammals and would give birth and have sex and not lay a clutch of eggs.
People claim that mermaids reproduce like fish, in that females lay a clutch of eggs and males fertilized them. However, let’s just look at some traits of Ariel’s that show they are not related to fish and they for wouldn’t reproduces this way. Three traits and two are stupid obvious so we’ll start with the one that people would not think of; Ariel’s fins.
Ariel’s Fin, The Little Mermaid
Ariel’s fins, like all mermaids’s are horizontal much like dolphin’s and whale’s fins. Fish fins are vertical. But what does this mean? This reflects the evolutionary locomotion of the animal. Fish evolved from creatures that moved from side to side and the vertical tail allows for that motion or what is called lateral undulation. Dolphins and whales evolved from land mammals and they adapted an up and down locomotion or dorsoventral undulation. This means that for mermaids to have these fins they would have to evolved from land creatures.
Ariel Disney The Little Mermaid
Then we have the two traits that make it very, very clear, that mermaids are mammals; Mermaids has breasts and Bellybuttons. These two traits make it so clear that Mermaids give birth to live young that I’m not sure where the Fish egg idea came from, probably from that Futurama episode. However belly buttons, or navel, are where the umbilical cord is attached. All placental mammals have a navels. Breasts are mammary glands found on the upper torso of primates. The purpose of which is to feed milk to offspring. This means that Mermaids are mammals who nurse their young and navels indicate that they would get pregnant.
Ariel making icky face
I think the only thing Ariel might have been weirded out by would that Eric doesn’t keep his genitalia inside his body like marine mammals.
Kronk’s New Groove
On paper the idea for Kronk leading a sequel of The Emperor’s New Groove
Kronk, Yzma and some old guy
This movie is compromised of two flashbacks within a flashback and it’s basically Kronk trying to get his father’s approval. Kronk works as a cook and hears that his father is coming to visit. Kronk, prior to the movie has lied to his father saying that he is married with kids and lives on house on a hill.
He tells two stories about how he got those things but lost them. Kronk got a house on a hill by getting tricked into working with Yzma to scam old people out their money and their old folks home. Kronk feeling guilty returns the house on the hill to the old folks.
The second story is Kronk meets a competing Junior Chipmunk camp Counselor, Miss Birdwell, and they fall in love but the due to being overly competitive, Tipo, Pacha’s kid, pulls a prank on Birdwell and her Junior Chipmunks during the big cheer contest. Kronk takes the blame and Miss Birdwell dumps him.
The last part of the overall flashback is all Kronk’s pals try to make his lies a reality by telling Kronk’s dad that they are either his wife or children. Kronk learns that even if he can’t get his father approval he has great friends and he gets his father approval and Kronk reunites with Miss Birdwell.
Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp
Besides the weak story structure and stories, this movie is very annoying. In the same vein as the Emperor’s New Groove, this movie doesn’t even try to be authentic to the Incas in anyway shape or form. Though in Kronk’s New Groove this by far worse since we lack the charm and fun of the first movie and they amp up anachronism to 11.
It’s not really worth getting in to as it will melt you brain out your ears should you try and think about it. No, that is not the core of my annoyance with this movie, that honor goes to the shameful amount of movie references this movie abuses. Movie references and referencing other media in general is a lazy shortcut to add humor into a movie with out really doing to much. This movie references Lady and the Tramp, Titanic, Thriller, Cheers, and Lord of the Ring just to name a few. Does the movie gain anything by these reference? No, it does not add anything other than padding the movie out and making people stupid.
Kronk
One of the core criticism of the movie is with Kronk himself. Kronk and Yzma were delightful in the The Emperors’s New Groove, so it’s tempting to use Kronk and Yzma again. But as Kronk is a villain’s minion, he is best in small doses, not as the central focus.
However there is another issue with Kronk as the leading character and that is despite Yzma being is a small chuck of the movie there is no one to balance out Kronk. That balance of two colliding characters made the first one great. Here he just a likable goof with no one to really play off of and that makes Kronk and the stories boring.
Kronk and Miss Birdwell dance
One could also say that the title of the movie is a bit of a misnomer, as Kronk doesn’t get a groove. He doesn’t change or grow, he stays the same but everyone knows that the name is a tie in to the original but F.U. movie, I’m calling you out on it.
Kronk and Yzma
Kronk’s New Groove is a weak attempt at a sequel and it actual makes people more stupid after viewing it.
QuasAs I was changing my Zazzle password, I decided to see what my top 5 most popular Hunchback items were and which were the least popular. These are the top ones and next week the least popular ones.
#1 Just Dance
Just Dance, Esmeralda and Djali Tees by Hunchstore
#2 Team Frollo
Team Frollo Tee Shirt by Hunchstore
#3 Belle Keychain
Belle Keychains by Hunchstore
#4 Esmeralda Picture
A Color Illustration of Esmeralda Poster by Hunchstore
#5 Quasimodo Keychain
Quasimodo Keychain by Hunchstore
Richard Harris as Frollo, yells No!
The 1997 Hunchback
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda,
The competing style of the artistic angled frames and the shot-verse-shots makes for an interesting visual style and by that I mean silly. It’s almost like Medak didn’t know what he wanted when composing the frames and the shots. He shot conversational scenes very utilitarian for efficacy and then he got bored and decided to tilt the camera for visual interest. But the weird competing approaches to directing style just make this version look very awkward. I suppose the awkward directing style is a compliment to the awkward writing choices, so at least it’s consistent.
Next Time – Costumes
Salma Hayek as Esmeralda, 1997 Hunchback of Notre Dame
Let’s concluded with series of posts with titular character herself, Notre Dame.
Notre Dame, Paris, France – Matted Photo
Notre Dame means in French Our Lady. Notre Dame de Paris mean Our lady of Paris. All churches that have Notre Dame in them refer to the Virgin Mary.
The original title novel, Notre Dame de Paris, has double meaning, it refers to the Cathedral and Esmeralda. Esmeralda has a lot of association to the Virgin Mary in the book, but that is a post series for another time.
