It’s time to pick a bad version to destroy, I mean review.
Next Review???? They are both stupid versions
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Gargoyles sing to Quasimodo,The Secret of the Hunchback
Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame
Poll ends April 2nd at 11:59PM EST.
Edward Atterton as Gringoire
Like so many, many other Gringoires, the 1997 version of The Hunchback falls into the romantic guy category. However, unlike other Gringoires he doesn’t do anything, he’s kind of just there to be Esmeralda’s love interest.
Edward Atterton as Gringoire
Other Gringoires try and help save Esmeralda by means of the written word or a speech. In this version Quasimodo does the leg work and Gringoire just helps out in passing out Quasimodo’s pamphlet, leading the riot and getting the noose of Esmeralda’s neck.
Edward as Gringoire
One could argue that Gringoire doesn’t do that much in the book but he does have a personality here is doesn’t really.
Edward Atterton as Gringoire
I think he is sincere in his affections for Esmeralda but this Gringoire isn’t really allowed to do much except be nice and follow Quasimodo’s plan.
Next time – Clopin
Jim Dale as Clopin
Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
Clopin Trouillfou is the king of beggars and in many versions he is the king of the entire Paris underworld.
Clopin is his given name. It comes from an expression that means to “to hobble along” or Marcher clopin-clopant. Clopin itself comes from the word clopiner meaning to limp. Unlike Frollo, whose given name also mean limp, here it reference the fact that Clopin is king of people who fake ailments for money as well as he himself who pretends not to have a leg.
Trouillfou is a compound of Trouille which means fear with a strong connotation, as in “scared to death,” and fou which means fool. Basically it mean scared crazy. This name suggests that he either is crazy or his presence makes people crazy, like Gringoire or his legion of beggars.
The Lion King 1 1/2
The Lion King 1 1/2 is a weird movie, as it’s part prequel, part midquel and part sequel. It tells the story that runs along side The Lion King, the story of Timon and Pumbaa.
Many people like this movie but this movie comes at the expense of the original. Nicely put, this movie is basically goofy cliff notes to the original but really it is a parody of the original made to get money without much effort on the writing front.
Timon and Pumbaa stare at Pride Rock
Story goes, Timon, in his Meeket colony, is a dreamer and a bit of an outcast. He doesn’t enjoy digging and hiding so he leaves. He meets Rafiki who tells him to look beyond what he sees. Timon not being one for metaphors decides to head to Pride Rock. He meets Pumbaa and decides to pair up with him since other animals leave him alone.
From that point the movie follows the original, they fart indued the bow, I can’t wait to be king wakes them up, the stampede is nothing really ect ect. Timon and Pumbaa find the jungle place and Simba joins them and Timon gets mad when Simba goes back. Then Timon learns that friends are awesome and helps wins the day with help of his mother and uncle.
Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max
The movie is funny and delightfully meta but it’s just reference after reference. The parts that are the best are the prequel and sequel parts. Those parts are the plot, you have Timon’s dilemma and his resolution. The midquel parts which make up the most the movie just poops on The Lion King.
Timon and Pumbaa and the Stampede
The bow part and the stampede are particularity guilty of ruining the original. This movie indicates that bow for Simba was started by Pumbaa farting and animals passing out. One Zebra misconstrues it as a bow. Oh isn’t that gas (pun in intended), that glorious opening is ruined.
But the stampede part is by far worst. Timon and Pumbaa get caught up in it and dismiss it as nothing. This mocks Mufasa dying and makes it a farce.
Timon and his Mother
When they movie is doing it own thing, it’s great and enjoyable but every time a Lion King scene is lifted from the first movie, it’s annoying and desperate.
I wish the story was more Timon and Pumbaa’s tale of friendship and not Timon and Pumbaa were really in every single scene of the original just off frame.
The Finale of The Lion King 1 1/2
The Lion King 1 1/2
But then again Dumbo does have a cameo in the theatre at the end and Dumbo is the greatest, so I take it all back. Clearly, if Dumbo is in it, it must be a magnum opus of genius.
Disney’s Descendants
Disney is going to release an original Disney Channel movie in 2015 called Descendants. Now an original Disney Channel should indicate that one should either stop reading or turned their brain off, I did neither and regretted it.
Descendants is about the children of the Disney characters going to a prep-school. Ben, the son of Belle and Beast who is set to take the throne, gives redemption to the villain’s children. These the villains children include Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent’s kids. This is the point where my brain collapse in on its self. Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent occupy the same time space. Jafar is from psudo-medieval Arabia, Cruella from 1960s London and Maleficent is from Renaissance Europe. I wrote a Fan-fiction when I was 9 with characters from different point in history and places and I deemed it too stupid but they made a movie on it.
Then there are the kid’s names. Maleficent’s daughter is Mal, Jafar’s kid is Jay, Cruella’s son is Carlos and The Evil Queen’s is, are you ready, it’s pretty stupid, it is Evvie. Why not just go their and Evilette or something.
This project has stupid written all over it.
Richard Harris as Frollo
The Frollo in the 1997 version of Hunchback is odd to say the least. He is a weird mash of the 1939 version’s obsession with fear of the modernity and vampire-monk. Really it’s hard to get over the look of him but that is the least of his problems.
Richard Harris as Frollo
Let’s start with the root of Frollo, his obsession and this is the bad part of this depiction. Frollo in this version is struggling with getting rid of printing presses to keep the ease of access on acquiring knowledge down. Frollo is accused of trying to suppress knowledge but he loves knowledge. His feeling is that if knowledge is easy to get it, it cheapens it, so down with printed books. The one he is struggling against is the king’s minister whom Frollo kills instead of Phoebus. Frollo’s obsession for Esmeralda seem to spawn from his inability to get the king of his side about the printing press.
Richard Harris as Frollo
Frollo’s obsession is split and this and this is the problem. Frollo in this version is way more into the printing press than getting Esmeralda. He only seem to press the issue with Esmeralda because his resolve is being tested and he is weak. This robs everything from Frollo’s drama. It not interesting to watch this split obsession, Frollo obsession should be all consuming. Perhaps weakness begets weakness but Frollo’s character suffers a lot for it. His obsession for Esmeralda feels like an afterthought than a major plot point.
Richard Harris as Frollo
I think Richard Harris does a fair job with the material but any passion or energy he could have given to Frollo is not there. It’s not like not there but the most I show was him taking baout knowledge. I think i idea was to keep Frollo repressed with Esmeralda but when he says he was mad and crazy for for her but we never seem those emotion it cheapens the performance, the dialogue and the story.
Richard Harris as Frollo
Then we have his looks. This Frollo is very different, he looks like Nosferatu. It’s very austere even for Frollo. The look is really distracting because he is suppose to look old, he is not suppose to look like a vampire from 1922.
Richard Harris as Frollo
I know Richard Harris was a good actor and Frollo should be a great character to play but this depiction of Frollo has passion for the wrong aspect and the character is a confused mess.
Next Time Gringoire
Edward Atterton as Gringoire
Bruno Pelletier as Gringoire in Notre Dame de Paris
Pierre Gringoire was based on a real person. The Real-life Gringoire was born in 1475 and died 1538 and was an accomplished playwright and writer.
Pierre is French for stone. It is derived from the Greek word Petros meaning stone or rock. It is a form of Peter. Pierre is a very very common French name. It’s interesting to note that towards the end of the novel Gringoire becomes interested in Architecture and stone.
Then we have Gringoire. As we know Gringoire was based on a real person, we also know that it is a real surname. The meaning is a little hard to pin down. It would seem that the name Gringoire comes out of the ancient greek name Gregorein, which means watchful or awake. The spelling variations are Gregoir, Gregoire, Greguer, Gregure, De Gregoire, Degregoire, De Gregoir, Degreoire and more. The name was first found in Guyenne. Their family seat is held in the village and estate of Gregoire in the department of Lot-et-Garonne in tarn in the South of France.
I think in giving Gringoire a normal name it significance him as the normal guy.
Since I have never seen Atlantis; the Lost Empire, let me go watch that before I get to Atlantis; Milo’s Return. I’ll be back!
(95 Minutes later)
Ok, that was dull. I hate the white man burden trope.
Atlantis; Milo’s Return
Anyway, let me go watch Atlantis; Milo’s Return now.
(75 Minutes later)
Cries……… that was awful……..Why does this company put out some much utter crap. This one is painful, viscerally painful. I want to vomit and crawl my eyes out during this one’s running time.
Obby
Ok, ok , Okay, let’s start with a positive because I have One, Obby, the Lava Dog. Obby is cute and fun. Fuck the rest of the characters, the movies or story plot should have focused on Obby. I would rather watch Obby sleep for 75 minutes than this shit fest.
The Atlantis Gang
This movie, like so many of the other crappy Disney sequels, has three stories. All three are boring and very TV. Now when I say it’s TV, I mean it as insult but let’s face it, these direct to video movies are worst than most TV episodes so what can you do.
The Gang running from a snowman
The plot is that stuff is happening, so the gang goes to Atlantis to get Milo to investigate. Kida follows thinking that the stuff could be Atlantean weapons. The first one is the Kraken (which they pronounce annoyingly wrong), second is sand coyotes or something, and the third is Atlantean spear in the hands of a Norse God wannabe.
In the end Atlantis raises from the sea, killing hundreds of Marine life and ruining a very fragile ecosystem. I hope you’re happy.
Kida
I will say that the three stories do build off of eachother. They are not wholly separate stories. However the stories are forgettable and there is no real character development. Since there is no growth in characters these are TV episodes.
Obby and Milo
One of the big thing that annoyed was in the first movie Milo is played by Michael J. Fox who has a very identifiable voice which was distracting. Fox did not reprise his role so to hear not-Fox was even more distracting. Not-Fox was played by James Arnold Taylor whose infamous laugh from a major video game I was hoping to hear if only to dull the pain of this movie.
The Atlantis Gang
As is standard with Disney sequels, the animation is usually much, much worse. Now Atlantis didn’t have the greatest animation in the world but Milo’s Return felt visually cheaper. The colors were dull and everything felt lifeless. It is not fun to look at.
Milo, Obby and Kida
I quite literally have nothing more to say on Atlantis; Milo’s Return
I really wished Milo hadn’t returned, it would have spared the world of this shit.
A behing the scene video of Matt Laurent getting ready to play Quasimodo from Notre Dame de Paris
His costume is 15 years old!
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo
The 1997 version of Quasimodo is very much a throwback to Charles Laughton’s depiction in the 1939 version. There are some differences to the character but the focus of this Quasimodo is very much sympathetic and heavy on the pathos.
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo
Quasimodo in this version is softer and sweeter than in the past versions. There is no darkness to him, even Disney Quasimodo was darker than this version. He is the only Quasimodo not to be a part of the kidnap attempt instead was trying to help. He is also the only Quasimodo to be an intellectual, having read every book in the Notre Dame’s library. His sad sweetness mingled with his intelligence makes him likable.
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo
Mandy Patinkin also does a great job at portraying Quasimodo. He gives a great physical performance as well as an emotional one. In particular I love his walk.
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo
Despite his likeability, he’s little boring. He’s too generically nice. If he had an edge or had arc it would have made him interesting but in taking way him kidnapping Esmeralda it ruins the pillory scene and robs Quasimodo of his arc of trusting Frollo 100%.
Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo,
This Quasimodo could have been great, the performance was great but the interest of the character was made void but him being too nice and sweet.
Next time; Frollo
Richard Harris as Frollo