An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

An Extremely Goofy Movie

An Extremely Goofy Movie is a sequel to the 1995 A Goofy Movie. Both movies deal with a father trying to be apart of his son’s life and the son yearning for independence. But where the Goofy Movie was bright, colorful and somewhat endearing, An Extremely Goofy Movie was shit.

Max and Goofy, An Extremely Goofy Movie

Max and Goofy

The plot is Back to School just with Goof Troop, that’s it. Even if you haven’t seen Back to School, the plot of this movie feels old and done. It differs a bit with extreme sports like skate boarding and there is a sub-plot of Goofy liking 70’s stuff. But the heart of the plot is a rehashing of the first movie where Goofy wants to be involved with Max’s life and Max’s wants his own life. And it gets old within the movie.

Sylvia and Goofy, An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Sylvia and Goofy

The animation is all over the place, from really choppy to smooth rotoscoping. During the disco dance scene the animation is really fluid, so much so that it looks rotoscoped. Rotoscoping is an animation technique in which animators trace over footage. The mixture of the fluid rotoscoping and the choppy animation looks terrible. It wouldn’t be so bad if both extremes were not in the same scene.

Pete, Max and Pauly Shore errm Bob , An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Pete, Max, and Pauly Shore errm Bob

So if the plot is cliched and ripped off and the animation is inconsistent but how are the characters? Goofy is fine except that he comes off annoying in his attempts to hang out with Max. Max is pretty unlikable and him having same voice as Kovu threw me off, I watch pretty much right after I watched LionKing 2. Max doesn’t really have an interesting personality or things that makes him special.

Pete was more interesting with his limited scene time. That Pauly Shore character was beyong annoying. The other characters hardly register as characters.

Goofy and Bradley Uppercrust the Third , An Extremely Goofy Movie picture image

Goofy and Bradley Uppercrust the Third

Personally, I didn’t enjoy An Extremely Goofy Movie. I found it heartless and annoying. I had really hard time finishing it. I have very little to say on this one. I don’t think it’s the worst of the sequels but it’s far from being any good. It was just extremely meh.

Taylor Swift picture image

Taylor Swift

I admit, I don’t care for Taylor Swift. Her music does nothing for me and  the fact the she plays an instrument and writes her songs maybe a feat in the current music scene but it’s not like she a huge talent that warrants vast praise. No, I’m not a fan of  Taylor Swift and I had intended this post to be anti-casting but the more I thought about her as a Fleur de Lys for an English version of Notre Dame de Paris the less I dislike the idea. I would say that if this ever did happen, I would complain but it’s way a more  palatable casting choice than most pop singers.

Taylor Swift from Love Story picture image

Taylor Swift from Love Story

 

Taylor Swift was up for the role as Epoine in Les Mis. It’s unclear if she did get the part or not but Epoine didn’t suit her but Fleur de Lys does. Swift has a reputation for being sweet and speaking to the teenage girls but on the flip side, she can be mean if you piss her off. Fleur de Lys in Notre Dame de Lys is both these things. At the start, she in love but as the play goes on she gets cruel and demands Esmeralda’s death and she gets away with it. Vocally, the English version is something I could see Swift being able to pull off.

Taylor Swift picture image

Taylor Swift

Swift also fits the standard looks for Fleur de Lys, fair skin and blond. Only four Fleur de Lys have differed from this look and three were Korean. Most other Fleurs have to wear blond wigs.  So she at least looks the part.

Taylor Swift picture image

Taylor Swift

 

As much as I don’t like Swift, she wouldn’t be the worse choice, I can see it working but it pisses me off at the same time. I’m on the fence for this hypothetical casting. What do you think? Yay or Nay on Taylor Swift?

 

Stacia Napierkowska

Stacia Napierkowska

The second lost film was made in 1911 and was directed by Albert Capellani. It was called Notre Dame de Paris and was 36 minutes long. It starred  Stacia Napierkowska as Esmeralda. Napierkowska was a dancer before going into films. She appeared in 86 movies between 1908 and 1926. Napierkowska was once arrested in New York City during a performance for her dance being considered indecent.

 

Notre Dame de Paris 1911 picture image

Notre Dame de Paris 1911

From the few pictures that exist we can see that movie has the pillory scene, Esmeralda’s torture and the Port de Rouge scene. Napierkowska’s Esmeralda looks to be both gentle and commanding. Considering her experience as a dancer and  her freedom in sensuality department, I would say that there could have been a great dance scene in this.

 

Today’s prophecy comes to us from the lyrics of Notre Dame de Paris, in English.

She may be more pure, more pure than the words can tell

Apparence may be deceiving you today.

The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride is generally considered to be one of the better Disney Sequels. But it is, is it really? Let’s find out.

Nala, Simba, Kovu and Kiara, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Nala, Simba, Kovu and Kiara

The plot is Romeo and Juliet pretty much. After Simba dethrons Scar, Simba banishes Scar’s Loyalists which I guess divided the Pride. The leader of Scar’s Loyalist is Zira, who is the mother of Kovu, the one Scar picked to succeed him. Simba’s daughter, Kiara, and Kovu meet and have a thing. Zira uses this to try to take her revenege on Simba and Rafiki plays matchmaker to help restore the prides.

In the end the two factions come together and yay big happy lion family. Timon and Pumbaa as well as Nala and Zuzu do very little.

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Kiara and Kovu

The first thing is compared to the other sequels, this one looks like an effort was put in to it. The animation is very nice and the songs are all pretty good. No ear bleeds here. So in the technicals, yes it’s good. But there is a lot of weirdness going on here.

Zira and Kouv, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Zira and Kovu

It feels like a Fan-fiction in the conflict. Where were these lionesses in the first movie? Shrugs. This conflict isn’t in keeping with what happen in The Lion King. I also find it hard to believe that Scar had supporters. I think the real issue and the way Scar got support, in  that the Pride Rock faction wear white eyeliner and the outlanders like black eyeliner. It’s a Make-up war.

Kovu and Kiara as Cubs, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Kovu and Kiara as Cubs

Another thing with these “other” Lions is that they look like Scar. Are the darker hues and black eyeliner a recessive genetic trait? Who is Kovu’s father? This movie makes it very clear it’s not Scar but there are no other males. The logic in this isn’t thought out. And it’s not a small thing, people discuss this massive plot-hole and come up with theories.

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture and image

Kiara and Kovu

Even the logic of set-up isn’t super great, in fact, it’s really bad, this story feels different from the Lion King. Whereas Simba’s story is one of redemption and loss, this one is a forbidden love story. The forbidden love alway gets people invested. But the forbidden love angle comes at the expense of Simba’s character, who a jerk in this movie.  Kiara and Kovu are interesting and  likable. They also act like Simba and Scar in some ways and are quite different in others. For instance Kiara as cub gets into mischief like Simba but she doesn’t  really want to be Queen whereas Simba couldn’t wait to be King.

Ending Shot of My Lullaby, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture image

Ending Shot of My Lullaby

However the movie as a weird little addiction of making referencing the original movie. Zira at the end of My Lullaby is practically the same shot as the ending of Be Prepare. Kovu’s scar is just like Scar’s, in fact Kovu means Scar . Kovu’s brother, Nuka, dies, Simba’s father dies. A song heavily features a Swahili word. Hakuna Matata is said for no reason other than to be said. I’m sure there are more. I just want to point out the Nuka’s face is burned and he’s ok but a rotten log hits him and he dies.

Kiara's as a debutante, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride  picture image

Kiara’s as a debutante

Another thing annoy about the movie, is the haphazard time jump. It’s like bam, Kovu is an adult. You blink, you miss it. It’s so quick that the Kiara’s pride misses it. One Lioness says “Look how you’ve grown.”  People only say that because when there is a large gap in seeing a child. Like when you haven’t seen a child in like 7 years. Not when you see the kid every day. Did Kiara spend x number or months or years in a cave?

The original movie has a really nice time lapse, why couldn’t this movie steal that? Also Kiara says she and Simba used to stare at the stars together. That would have been a nice scene, too bad we missed it. Hey movie screenwriting 101, show, don’t tell.

Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride  picture image

Kovu

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride had a big act to follow but I think despite all the weirdness, it’s alright. It’s not like a fantastic movie but when you consider the Disney sequels, this is one of the better ones even with all the flaws.

Lion King

For the Month of January, we are going to look at the Lost Hunchback of Notre Dame films. What is a Lost Film? A Lost Film is a film that in no longer known to exist in any studio, private collection or public archives. Most of the films that were made between 1894 to 1930 are lost. In total there are four lost Hunchback films and since we have four Tuesdays this month, let’s jump in.

Denise Becker in  1905 Esmralda picture image

Denise Becker in 1905 Esmralda

The first film was simply called Esmeralda. It was made in 1905 and was made in France. It was only about 10 minutes in length. It starred Denise Becker and Henry Vorins. Both actors have very little distinction, though Vorins did go to direct.

Esmeralda has a few distinctions. It was the first film version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The second is its director.

Alice Guy-Blanché picture image

Alice Guy-Blanché

Esmeralda was directed by the first women film director ever, Alice Guy-Blanché as well as Victorin-Hippolyte Jasset. Between 1896 to 1920, Guy-Blanché  directed 1000s of films. She also pioneer cinema. She was the first person to use film as narratives. She made her first film in 1896 at the age of 21 called La Fée aux Choux (The Cabbage Fairy), which is not lost.

She invented the role of director and is credited with the concept of going on location. She also experimented with sound syncing, color tinting, interracial casting and special effects. She founded own studio in New Jersey called Solax. It was the largest pre-Hollywood studio in America. Solax closed in 1922 due Hollywood keeping film costs down.

Esmeralda 1905 picture image

Esmeralda 1905

Sadly, very little know about the 1905 version Esmeralda. Judging from the pictures it looks like Phoebus is a character but no actor in credited. Some film historians credit Esmeralda as the first narrative film as well as the first horror film. Which is pretty cool. Even if Hunchback isn’t a piece of horror literature.

Further Reading on Alice Guy-Blanché;

The memoirs of Alice Guy Blaché

I tend to go a bit mad when I decorate Christmas Cookies and here is my Cross-section of La Fidel from the stupid Hunchback Sequel to prove it.

La Fidel Cookie hunchback sequal

La Fidel Cookie

It’s an almond cookie for anyone who is curious.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World in a way tries to mitigates Pocahontas’ historical love story. But be under no illusion, this thing as historically accurate as the original Pocahontas. But whereas the first film was entertaining and memorable this one is annoying and dull.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

So what is the plot? In a nutshell, Pocahontas has to avoid war by going to England and proving that she a civilized lady. The person who helps her the most is John Rolfe. Rofle is a diplomat sent to Virginia by King James. John Smith is presumed dead through most of the movie but helps Pocahontas when she is trouble and they part ways as friends. Smith is totally cool with Rolfe though.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

This movie has a little bit of an identity problem with Pocahontas, who is also having a identity problem in the movie. She doesn’t know what she wants. Her going to England is part of that. Pocahontas then has to pretend to be civilized in the British standard because if she doesn’t know the difference between an egg soup and melon soup, her people are as good as dead.

However she learns to be true to herself so movie feels rather pointless other than getting her and Rolfe to hook up and ending things with Smith. But more than that, this movie has her dressing more like a Disney Princess. Hell if I know why Disney doesn’t just sell dolls of her that gown.

Pocahontas and Rolfe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

Then we have the point of the movie. You see historical Pocahontas and John Smith were not lovers. Pocahontas married John Rolfe. So this movie tries to correct the couple in first movie.

But how are Rolfe and Pocahontas as a couple. Meh, fine, I guess . They are not really super interesting but there is nothing wrong either. Their snarky phase lasts like two minutes so it didn’t get annoying.

John Smith however is annoying. All he does is make puns. Mel Gisbon didn’t reprise his role but they got his younger brother, Donald, which is distracting. But for people who want a prominent actor, they got Billy Zane to play John Rolfe, which is fine, he’s a cool dude.

William Shakespeare, Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

William Shakespeare,

Speaking of quoting other things. This movie uses two famous quotes badly. First, when Pocahontas arrives in London we see William Shakespeare apparently getting the idea for the line “to be or not to be.” Ok, FUCK YOU MOVIE. I know you’re historically challenged but shoehorning Shakespeare here is beyond the pail.

Historically Hamlet was already written, second Shakespeare died two months prior to Pocahontas arriving in England. And then Smith somewhat quotes Mark Twian’s “Reports my death have been grossly exaggerated.” That is just an eye roll but the Shakespeare one is super stupid.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas

Beside the gross historical inaccuracies what is wrong with movie? It’s really slow paced. It like a sleep-inducing, Ambien, level of energy. The movie livens up a bit when they go to London but the London scenes are annoying as fuck. So what is worse, a movie being annoying or dull? Hard one! But you don’t have to chose because this movie is both.

Rattcliffe,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Rattcliffe,

I think what really drags the movie down is Ratcliffe. Ratcliffe has no real motivation. I think he wants to cause a war with the Powhaten so he get gold. Like that is his motivation? That is stupid.

However, all he does in this movie is cause shenanigans. I would say he just a chaotic evil than having some grand scheme but he doesn’t really act like chaotic evil. He acts like he has a grand scheme but we don’t know what it is. Ratcliffe was a dumb villain in the first movie and he is worse in this thing.

Uttamatomakkin,  Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Uttamatomakkin

Are there any good things about this film? Yes actually there is. I really enjoyed the new side characters. Pocahontas’ bodyguard Uttamatomakkin was a delight. I love this guy. He’s a tall stoic guy who is awesome. I loved with him drinking tea, classic. Mrs Jenkins, Rolfe’s house keeper, is a little annoying but her constantly making tea was silly. The blind gag was annoying though. But these two have personality which the main characters don’t. The main sidekicks didn’t annoy me as much as I thought they would  so plus there.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World  picture image

Pocahontas

As a sequel goes Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World is a decent continuation, as the concept  doesn’t shit all over the first one but it fails big in execution.

(Fun Fact – I have been to both Jamestown and London, not much of a feat I know)

It that time of the year again, that magical time when anything seem possible and we try to better ourselves in the New fresh year. I’m of course talking about New Year Resolutions! I had one for 2013 and that was to read  two books; Anna Karenina and Les Miserable. I read Anna Karenina still need to read Le Mis.

Anyway what would the Cast of Hunchback’s New Year Resolution for 2014 be?

Quasimodo – Get out More
Esmeralda – Stop being  so Perfect
Frollo –  Stalk More
Phoebus – Stop being Perfect
Gringoire – Get my Morality Play on Broadway
Clopin –  Gain 20 Pounds (^_~)
Fleur de Lys – Have more Fun
Jehan – Mooch More
Djali – Learn a New Trick
Sister Gudule – Connect with family
Notre Dame – See the Eiffel Tower

Here  are their Resolutions form 2013 https://www.thehunchblog.com/2013/01/new-years-resolution/