Today’s prophecy comes to us from the lyrics of Notre Dame de Paris, in English.
“She may be more pure, more pure than the words can tell”
Apparence may be deceiving you today.
The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride
The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride is generally considered to be one of the better Disney Sequels. But it is, is it really? Let’s find out.
Nala, Simba, Kovu and Kiara
The plot is Romeo and Juliet pretty much. After Simba dethrons Scar, Simba banishes Scar’s Loyalists which I guess divided the Pride. The leader of Scar’s Loyalist is Zira, who is the mother of Kovu, the one Scar picked to succeed him. Simba’s daughter, Kiara, and Kovu meet and have a thing. Zira uses this to try to take her revenege on Simba and Rafiki plays matchmaker to help restore the prides.
In the end the two factions come together and yay big happy lion family. Timon and Pumbaa as well as Nala and Zuzu do very little.
Kiara and Kovu
The first thing is compared to the other sequels, this one looks like an effort was put in to it. The animation is very nice and the songs are all pretty good. No ear bleeds here. So in the technicals, yes it’s good. But there is a lot of weirdness going on here.
Zira and Kovu
It feels like a Fan-fiction in the conflict. Where were these lionesses in the first movie? Shrugs. This conflict isn’t in keeping with what happen in The Lion King. I also find it hard to believe that Scar had supporters. I think the real issue and the way Scar got support, in that the Pride Rock faction wear white eyeliner and the outlanders like black eyeliner. It’s a Make-up war.
Kovu and Kiara as Cubs
Another thing with these “other” Lions is that they look like Scar. Are the darker hues and black eyeliner a recessive genetic trait? Who is Kovu’s father? This movie makes it very clear it’s not Scar but there are no other males. The logic in this isn’t thought out. And it’s not a small thing, people discuss this massive plot-hole and come up with theories.
Kiara and Kovu
Even the logic of set-up isn’t super great, in fact, it’s really bad, this story feels different from the Lion King. Whereas Simba’s story is one of redemption and loss, this one is a forbidden love story. The forbidden love alway gets people invested. But the forbidden love angle comes at the expense of Simba’s character, who a jerk in this movie. Kiara and Kovu are interesting and likable. They also act like Simba and Scar in some ways and are quite different in others. For instance Kiara as cub gets into mischief like Simba but she doesn’t really want to be Queen whereas Simba couldn’t wait to be King.
Ending Shot of My Lullaby
However the movie as a weird little addiction of making referencing the original movie. Zira at the end of My Lullaby is practically the same shot as the ending of Be Prepare. Kovu’s scar is just like Scar’s, in fact Kovu means Scar . Kovu’s brother, Nuka, dies, Simba’s father dies. A song heavily features a Swahili word. Hakuna Matata is said for no reason other than to be said. I’m sure there are more. I just want to point out the Nuka’s face is burned and he’s ok but a rotten log hits him and he dies.
Kiara’s as a debutante
Another thing annoy about the movie, is the haphazard time jump. It’s like bam, Kovu is an adult. You blink, you miss it. It’s so quick that the Kiara’s pride misses it. One Lioness says “Look how you’ve grown.” People only say that because when there is a large gap in seeing a child. Like when you haven’t seen a child in like 7 years. Not when you see the kid every day. Did Kiara spend x number or months or years in a cave?
The original movie has a really nice time lapse, why couldn’t this movie steal that? Also Kiara says she and Simba used to stare at the stars together. That would have been a nice scene, too bad we missed it. Hey movie screenwriting 101, show, don’t tell.
Kovu
The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride 
informal cast interviews
For the Month of January, we are going to look at the Lost Hunchback of Notre Dame films. What is a Lost Film? A Lost Film is a film that in no longer known to exist in any studio, private collection or public archives. Most of the films that were made between 1894 to 1930 are lost. In total there are four lost Hunchback films and since we have four Tuesdays this month, let’s jump in.
Denise Becker in 1905 Esmralda
The first film was simply called Esmeralda. It was made in 1905 and was made in France. It was only about 10 minutes in length. It starred Denise Becker and Henry Vorins. Both actors have very little distinction, though Vorins did go to direct.
Esmeralda has a few distinctions. It was the first film version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The second is its director.
Alice Guy-Blanché
Esmeralda was directed by the first women film director ever, Alice Guy-Blanché as well as Victorin-Hippolyte Jasset. Between 1896 to 1920, Guy-Blanché directed 1000s of films. She also pioneer cinema. She was the first person to use film as narratives. She made her first film in 1896 at the age of 21 called La Fée aux Choux (The Cabbage Fairy), which is not lost.
She invented the role of director and is credited with the concept of going on location. She also experimented with sound syncing, color tinting, interracial casting and special effects. She founded own studio in New Jersey called Solax. It was the largest pre-Hollywood studio in America. Solax closed in 1922 due Hollywood keeping film costs down.
Esmeralda 1905
Sadly, very little know about the 1905 version Esmeralda. Judging from the pictures it looks like Phoebus is a character but no actor in credited. Some film historians credit Esmeralda as the first narrative film as well as the first horror film. Which is pretty cool. Even if Hunchback isn’t a piece of horror literature.
Further Reading on Alice Guy-Blanché;
I tend to go a bit mad when I decorate Christmas Cookies and here is my Cross-section of La Fidel from the stupid Hunchback Sequel to prove it.
La Fidel Cookie
It’s an almond cookie for anyone who is curious.
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World in a way tries to mitigates Pocahontas’ historical love story. But be under no illusion, this thing as historically accurate as the original Pocahontas. But whereas the first film was entertaining and memorable this one is annoying and dull.
Pocahontas and Rolfe
So what is the plot? In a nutshell, Pocahontas has to avoid war by going to England and proving that she a civilized lady. The person who helps her the most is John Rolfe. Rofle is a diplomat sent to Virginia by King James. John Smith is presumed dead through most of the movie but helps Pocahontas when she is trouble and they part ways as friends. Smith is totally cool with Rolfe though.
Pocahontas and Rolfe
This movie has a little bit of an identity problem with Pocahontas, who is also having a identity problem in the movie. She doesn’t know what she wants. Her going to England is part of that. Pocahontas then has to pretend to be civilized in the British standard because if she doesn’t know the difference between an egg soup and melon soup, her people are as good as dead.
However she learns to be true to herself so movie feels rather pointless other than getting her and Rolfe to hook up and ending things with Smith. But more than that, this movie has her dressing more like a Disney Princess. Hell if I know why Disney doesn’t just sell dolls of her that gown.
Pocahontas and Rolfe
Then we have the point of the movie. You see historical Pocahontas and John Smith were not lovers. Pocahontas married John Rolfe. So this movie tries to correct the couple in first movie.
But how are Rolfe and Pocahontas as a couple. Meh, fine, I guess . They are not really super interesting but there is nothing wrong either. Their snarky phase lasts like two minutes so it didn’t get annoying.
John Smith however is annoying. All he does is make puns. Mel Gisbon didn’t reprise his role but they got his younger brother, Donald, which is distracting. But for people who want a prominent actor, they got Billy Zane to play John Rolfe, which is fine, he’s a cool dude.
William Shakespeare,
Speaking of quoting other things. This movie uses two famous quotes badly. First, when Pocahontas arrives in London we see William Shakespeare apparently getting the idea for the line “to be or not to be.” Ok, FUCK YOU MOVIE. I know you’re historically challenged but shoehorning Shakespeare here is beyond the pail.
Historically Hamlet was already written, second Shakespeare died two months prior to Pocahontas arriving in England. And then Smith somewhat quotes Mark Twian’s “Reports my death have been grossly exaggerated.” That is just an eye roll but the Shakespeare one is super stupid.
Pocahontas
Beside the gross historical inaccuracies what is wrong with movie? It’s really slow paced. It like a sleep-inducing, Ambien, level of energy. The movie livens up a bit when they go to London but the London scenes are annoying as fuck. So what is worse, a movie being annoying or dull? Hard one! But you don’t have to chose because this movie is both.
Rattcliffe,
I think what really drags the movie down is Ratcliffe. Ratcliffe has no real motivation. I think he wants to cause a war with the Powhaten so he get gold. Like that is his motivation? That is stupid.
However, all he does in this movie is cause shenanigans. I would say he just a chaotic evil than having some grand scheme but he doesn’t really act like chaotic evil. He acts like he has a grand scheme but we don’t know what it is. Ratcliffe was a dumb villain in the first movie and he is worse in this thing.
Uttamatomakkin
Are there any good things about this film? Yes actually there is. I really enjoyed the new side characters. Pocahontas’ bodyguard Uttamatomakkin was a delight. I love this guy. He’s a tall stoic guy who is awesome. I loved with him drinking tea, classic. Mrs Jenkins, Rolfe’s house keeper, is a little annoying but her constantly making tea was silly. The blind gag was annoying though. But these two have personality which the main characters don’t. The main sidekicks didn’t annoy me as much as I thought they would so plus there.
Pocahontas
As a sequel goes Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World
(Fun Fact – I have been to both Jamestown and London, not much of a feat I know)
It that time of the year again, that magical time when anything seem possible and we try to better ourselves in the New fresh year. I’m of course talking about New Year Resolutions! I had one for 2013 and that was to read two books; Anna Karenina and Les Miserable. I read Anna Karenina still need to read Le Mis.
Anyway what would the Cast of Hunchback’s New Year Resolution for 2014 be?
Quasimodo – Get out More
Esmeralda – Stop being so Perfect
Frollo – Stalk More
Phoebus – Stop being Perfect
Gringoire – Get my Morality Play on Broadway
Clopin – Gain 20 Pounds (^_~)
Fleur de Lys – Have more Fun
Jehan – Mooch More
Djali – Learn a New Trick
Sister Gudule – Connect with family
Notre Dame – See the Eiffel Tower
Here are their Resolutions form 2013 https://www.thehunchblog.com/2013/01/new-years-resolution/
All the Hunchback Versions that have been reviewed this past year!
Frollo isn’t ready for 2014
Belle’s Magical World
If one Beauty and the Beast Midquel wasn’t enough, fear not they made a second one called Belle’s Magical World. Belle’s Magical World is different as instead one dumb story, we get four dumb stories.
Crane, LaPlume, and Webster
The aim of each story is someone learns a lesson. Trouble is, it’s pretty much the same the lesson. The first story is Belle and the Beast fight about Beast’s attitude. They both demand apologies, so a meddling pen, stack of paper and a dictionary forge an apology letter to Belle from the Beast. So Belle says she is sorry. But when Beast finds out about the forgery he gets pissed and throws the three meddlers out.
However, they come back as they get lost and Belle lets them in and then Beasts forgives him. A side story deals with Lumiere forgiving a chandelier for outshining him when actually the Chandelier just wanted to be close to him or something. Forgiveness is the lesson here.
Fifi and Lumiere
The second story deals with Fifi, the feather duster, and Lumiere. Lumiere forgets their anniversary, so he ask Belle to help him plan something. But Fifi thinks Belle is moving in on her man. Lumiere makes a sleigh for them. Then Fifi see it was for her. But the sleigh goes crazy and they almost fall off a cliff but it’s ok because Lumiere tells her that he loves her. And then they get saved. Lesson is trust or whatever.
Mrs.Potts and Belle
Third story is Mrs. Potts has Season Affective Disorder (SAD). So the gang excluding Beast, who is napping, decides to throw a party. The hitch is no one can cooperate but in the end they do managed to put on a party and Mrs Potts feels better and then the sun also comes out. Lesson is to work together.
Beast and the bird
The fourth story is Belle finds a wounded bird and wants to care for it. But the Beast hates bird. But then he hears it singing and likes it so he wants to keep it. Belle objects and then he realizes he can keep it prisoner. Lesson is trust and respect.
Beast and Cogsworth
The stories work against the main movie. Beast’s rage pretty much subsides when Belle thanks him for saving her from the wolves. So why is he still so moody. Why does he hate birds so much when in the main movie he tries to feed them? Is meant to be an off-shot? I doubt it. Lumire and Fifi seemed to have more of a sexual flirtation then a significant romance. Lumire and Cogworth have a rivalry that never cleared up so it’s pointless for the to learn to work together only to really forget it. This movie hurts my brain.
Belle and Lumiere
However, I get the point of this movie. This movie was more than likley a pilot for a TV show in the same vein as the Little Mermaid show, where the characters learn stuff. However, the idea of a midquel show is stupid, especailly for Beauty and the Beast. First, you have a small window for the show to take place in, a few weeks, tops. Sidenote the season changes are all over the place in this movie. Second, Beauty and the Beast is localized to the Beast’s castle so the stories and characters are limited which makes it boring.
Belle and the Beast
And yes this movie is dull. There can only be new insights to side characters but even then the movie doesn’t add much and it only confuses. Belle and the Beast can’t grow in the movie, they can only stay in an awkward friendship or go backwards and be angry with each other. I guess the people in-charge knew the idea of a show was a dud but package it as a movie to make a quick buck.
I have no positives for Belle’s Magical World