Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

What is full of flames and is one the best parts of any Disney movie? HELLFIRE!

I would say this scene isn’t like super SCARY but it is unsettling. First you have a rather creepy dude singing about wanting a woman whom he has a lot of hostile towards. Then you have the fire imagery and the specters that are featured at various points especially at the end, love the end.

One of the creepiest parts of Hellfire is where Frollo is running through the hooded faceless ghost that watch him in judgement. It’s very much like the Trial by Franz Kafka.

I could see this song scaring a few younger child and making adult uncomfortable.

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As mentioned before  Hunchback versions seldom ever passes The Bechdel Test, including the Disney version read here.  But it made me think about the other Disney movies. I was going to go through and look at each movie but I  don’t have to because this site  did all the work for me, http://disney-blog.com/2011/05/the-bechdel-test-and-disney-films/. But I’m going to offer some analysis.

Disney Princess Line UP with Esmeralda, Megara and Kida, picture image

Disney Princess Line UP with Esmeralda, Megara and Kida

As a refresher, to pass the test a work needs to meet 3 criteria; 1) It has to have at least two named female characters, 2) That talk to each other 3) About something other than a male.  Most movies fail the Bechdel test. Also passing or failing does not indicate the quality of a movie. Terrible movie pass and great movies fail.

Aurora and Prince Phillip Sleeping Beauty picture image

Aurora and Prince Phillip Sleeping Beauty

So what does this mean for Disney?  Well the purpose of the test is show the  female presence in a given movie.  Interestingly enough the older movies, Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty all pass. Which is valid as at least with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty  there is a decent amount of named female characters. Though movies that don’t have lots of female characters still pass, like 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Hercules, and even The Emperor’s New Groove, which is a male buddy comedy.

Jasmine Aladdin picture image

Jasmine

Movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are often criticized for passive lead female characters but the most of the characters in the movies are females. So having one strong likable female character doesn’t help the over-all female presence. Like Aladdin fails, hard.

Ariel's Fin The Little Mermaid picture image

Ariel

I would disagree with The Little Mermaid failing as the site says because Ariel and Ursula had a fairly long conversation about a few topics, I would give it a pass.  The Lion King could have passed if Nala and Sarabi had spoken more. I’m a little unsure if Snow White should have gotten the pass, as the Queen has a name but after the fact. Her name isn’t said in the movie. Though to be fair, I haven’t seen Snow White in a very long time.

Elsa and Anna frozen picture image

Elsa and Anna

I do find it interesting that with modern day Disney movies that are Princess that try to aim with boys in mind they do keep a strong female presence. Tiana with her mother, Rapunzel with her “mother” and the sisters of Frozen.

Yzma The Emperor's New Groove picture image

Yzma

I would  thought more Disney movies would have failed but it pretty mixed. It’s just really interesting that the older princess movies have a stronger female presence than the Disney movies that have a single “strong” and “Independent”  female character.

Lon Chaney as Quasimodo 1923 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Lon Chaney as Quasimodo 1923 Hunchback of Notre Dame

Short answer, yes! As of now there have been two Hunchback movies that seemingly have never got their footing one being from Max Ryan that had a full cast list and the other was from Josh Brolin who just had the director attached. The real question is why should they make a new version?

Salma Hayek as Esmeralda & Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo, 1997 The Hunchback picture image

Salma Hayek as Esmeralda & Mandy Patinkin as Quasimodo,

Hollywood technically hasn’t made a Hunchback movie since 1939. Disney of course made their version 1996, but Disney is a little separate from Hollywood. The other versions were from France, (1956, and 1999) and the other versions were TV movies (1977, 1982, and 1997.) So there has not been a designated Hollywood Hunchback in  nearly 80 years.

Quasimodo (Charles Laughton) alone at the end 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo Charles Laughton, 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

So yeah there should a new adaptation for a more modern audience. But more than that, there are more reasons than just timeframe.  Pending on the type of the movie that the producers go for, Hunchback could be pure oscar bait. For instant it’s historical-based story with a high  pretension factor. Second make-up, one can get crazy with the Quasimodo’s make-up and people love the trope of the ugly dude with the beautiful soul and I think people on the internet eat that shit up. There also the real-life angle they could make with the Hunchback worker. Oscars LOVE movies based on true stories.

Esmeralda (Gina Lollobrigida) dances, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda (Gina Lollobrigida) dances, 1956 Hunchback of Notre Dame

Also adding to the oscar bait factor, the academy loves itself and since it made up of mostly of actors they like movies about actors. Now there isn’t actors so much in Hunchback but Gringoire is a playwright and Esmeralda is a dancer so they are technically part of the larger industry.

Sets of the 1982 Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Sets of the 1982 Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

They could also go other genre routes, like re-working the story to be like a super-hero movie. Super-hero movies are super popular though they have been waning in recent years. But Quasimodo fits a super-hero type, so it could work.

Esmeralda, Phoebus and Quaismodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda, Phoebus and Quaismodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

There is also the chance, albeit not a super strong one, of Disney doing a live-action adaptation of the Disney version.  This seems to a major trend with Disney right now.  I could see this happening more than an super-hero version or a pure oscar bait.

Josh Brolin Interview for Men in Black picture image

Josh Brolin Interview for Men in Black

I will say that I have no idea what Brolin version was trying to do but I would say given Brolin and the director it might have been a super-hero variety.  I couldn’t even guess on Max Ryan’s version.

But yeah, Hollywood make a new version. What kind of Hunchback version would you like to see?

(Post Script – Max’s Ryan’s movie is a going ahead as well as an  Esmeralda movie in the works)

 

Enchanted picture image

Enchanted

The first time I ever saw the 2007 movie Enchanted, I was on a plane going from Quebec City to Montreal. I’m not sure why they offered in-flight entertainment for a thirty minute flight but I watched like ten or so minutes and I enjoyed it enough to rent it when I got home, ahh the days of rental places. Enchanted is an entertaining enough movie yes but does its message of real life vs fantasy get muddle in Disney-ideals and its own tropes? Let’s find out but the answer is yes.

Amy Adams as Giselle with Patrick Dempsey as Robert Enchanted picture image

Amy Adams as Giselle with Patrick Dempsey as Robert

Fair Maiden Giselle, one day meets Prince Edward and they promptly decide to get married the next day, why rush a good thing, right? However Edward’s stepmother Queen Narissa doesn’t want Edward to get married as it would diminish her power so on the wedding dat Narissa pushes Giselle down a fountian waterfall spring thing to a place where happy ever after don’t exist, Manhattan, and not like third world country no, fucking Time Square is where happy ever after don’t exist, like that’s the joke?

Anyway Giselle has a rude awaking but meets Robert and Morgan, father and daughter. Robert doesn’t want Morgan to idealize Princesses and Morgan does. Robert feels this way because Morgan’s mom left for reason. They take Giselle back to their apartment which causes a little fiction with Robert’s girlfriend Nancy. Giselle uses her fairy-Princess super powers to help people with love but Robert teaches Giselle about dating and forming attachments through getting to know a person.

While that is happing Narissa’s henchman, Nathaniel is trying to kill Giselle by poison apple method, Giselle’s chipmunk pal, Pip is trying to help Giselle not to die and Edward is searching for Giselle. Then when Nathaniel fails and Edward finds Giselle, Narissa comes into the fray as she had been previously communicating with Nathaniel through water.

So they all go to a ball where Giselle dons a modern gown. Giselle and Robert dance but then Narissa has Giselle eat a poison apple, Edward’s kiss fails to break the spell but Robert’s does and Nancy and Edward are okay with that. Narissa however turns into a dragon to kill everyone and drags Robert and Giselle up to the roof where Giselle slays her pretty darn easily. So Nancy and Edward go back to the fairy-tale world and get married, Nathaniel and Pip write tell-all-books and Giselle starts a fashion-line because she was good at sewing and I guess her and Robert get married maybe and she become a nice stepmother. Subversive!

Okay before I get into this movie I HAVE to say, with a Queen Stepmother trying to gain control by killing her step-son’s love (who happens to be dealing with a world that is not her own) to maintain her power and she uses water magic, this reminds of a a manga I like, it was almost distracting.

Amy Adams as Giselle Enchanted picture image

Amy Adams as Giselle

Enchanted does some nice things with subverting the Disney tropes however it undermines itself too. First off, yes, Giselle doesn’t just marry her “true love” she gets to know him and the true love thing is grown and somewhat cultivated in a way. Giselle is given more self-awareness however I doubt that Giselle would ever have a problem with Edward as the fairy-tale world or Andalasia as in it’s very existent is being ignorant of problems unless you’re a bad guy. So Giselle is the positive but as other side of that coin is Nancy.

Nancy Tremaine (voice by Idina Menzel) and Prince Edward (voiced by James Marsden) getting married in Andalasia Enchanted picture image

Nancy Tremaine (voice by Idina Menzel) and Prince Edward (voiced by James Marsden) getting married in Andalasia

Nancy just throws a whole wretch into what the movie was trying to say, life isn’t like a fairy-tale except if you drop everything in your life and run off with a guy you haven’t know for a day and marry him. Seriously, Nancy and Edward get married at the end? Why? Because the screenwriters wanted them to have a happy ending after being dumped? Are we REALLY to believe a woman, who seems like she has a pretty good life would run off with some guy she JUST met and exchange maybe like handful of sentence? Sure, we didn’t REALLY get to know Nancy all that well but she didn’t seem the type who would abandon everything for some guy who spoke somewhat romantically and she REALLY didn’t seem too broken up about Robert leaving her away.

The screenwriters kinda wrote themselves into a corner because either Nancy had to be the fairy-tale princess and leave her world behind or Edward would have needed to stay in New York City which means, Edward would have needed an arc which he did not get. If the movie wasn’t so entertaining this would be a bigger issue since the movie wanted to parody this kind of thing and work against it but it’s ok for side characters to marry people they don’t know, just not the main characters.

Amy Adams as Giselle with James Marsden as Prince Edward and with Patrick Dempsey as Robert and Rachel Covey as Morgan Enchanted picture image

Amy Adams as Giselle with James Marsden as Prince Edward and with Patrick Dempsey as Robert and Rachel Covey as Morgan

Aside form that the movie is really well done. The acting is really good and everyone seems like they are having fun with their roles. I do think Susan Sarandon as Narissa is miscast but she is not that bad. I really enjoy James Marsden as Edward but I’m an unabashed 30 Rock fan so anything that reminds me of that is a-ok. And Amy Adams lives the role of Giselle, she was pretty perfect.

Amy Adams as Giselle performing That's How you Know Enchanted picture image

Amy Adams as Giselle performing That’s How you Know

The technicals in this movie were fun too. The animation is fluid and clean and it wasn’t done by Disney how is that for the ultimate irony. The live-action parts are nicely shot and have a fun and playfulness.

I have to love the costumes except for one, the one that disappointed me down to my very soul, that Tahari gown Giselle wore at the ball. I don’t know why films do this, but if there is a costume ball the main characters will ignore it and wear a regular dress. They did it in the 2004 Phantom of Opera and I will NEVER forgive them. I mean the dress is pretty, it is just number one, it’s too simple for the venue, if they had a more Oscar style evening gown, something with a wow-factor I could see it. And number two this dress is like going from zero to 360 for Giselle. I guess the point of Giselle’s costumes is that they get more modern the longer she is in the real work but come on movie, that Tahari gown was in no way the next step for her fashion evolution. I say no. Otherwise the costumes were great.

The musical numbers are a lot of fun. The big number, “That’s how you know” is bright and colorful and big. It reminds me of the pretty women number in Kal ho naa ho which is fun number.

I think the only number that wasn’t that great was the Ballroom dance, though maybe I just don’t like that scene, that darn dress and the final fight meh. Also why didn’t Narissa get a a villain songs, seriously we get three freaking songs about love and romance but no Villain songs. (is it just me or did Giselle understand dating more than Robert with all the things she listed in That’s How you know?)

Susan Sarandon as Queen Narissa Enchanted picture image

Susan Sarandon as Queen Narissa

Okay, speaking of Narissa, what was her plan and how did the whole power thing work? First off, problem one, her motivation was to keep the prince single so she could remain queen? So why didn’t she just kill the prince instead of going after his bride? It’s just a stall. Then her motivation changes to just being evil because even though at that point it was established that Giselle wasn’t into Edward, so why did she bother and she was one weak fucking dragon. I would THINK it would take more than a sword wound to prevent her from flying and I dunno, burning people? I think they were referencing Sleeping Beauty but they fairies gave the prince buffs to his sword or whatever.

Second, how does succession work in Andalasia? Does the Queen maintain her power after the king is dead? But then why is Edward a prince and Narissa a queen? Shouldn’t Edward be King? Do you have to be married in Andalasia to get a King/Queen title? Is Edward’s father still alive? Why don’t Disney villain ever just try to manipulate the royals instead of being the ruler? Like Narissa could have wrapped Giselle around her figure and been a shadow ruler. What kind of power did Narissa hold anyway? Did she share it with Edward? Or what she acting regent till he married? Then why didn’t she kill him and pull a coup? How does is work??? It’s not important to the story but it’s the villain’s motivation, I dunno maybe a song could have cleared it up, or she could have been a better evil villain to make me forget this kind of stuff, she is as menacing as tin foil. Also her costume looked more sci-fi than fantasy, more leading a legion of spiders than queen of place called Andalasia.

Amy Adams as Giselle with Pip Enchanted picture image

Amy Adams as Giselle with Pip

Despite its flaws, and boy does it have them, Enchanted is a fun and entertaining movie that does a nice job of parodying and paying homage to Disney tropes all while totally buying into them.

Time for Clues, Clue 1 & Clue 2

One of those clues makes me laugh, try and guess which one and the next movie.

As Long as there's a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Way back in 2011, I looked at the two attempts that the Disney Verison tried to give Phoebus and Esmeralda a love song (read here). One song was called In a Place of Miracles and the other was called As a there’s a Moon. The second song depicted the wedding scene of Esmeralda and Gringoire only with Phoebus instead of Gringoire and Quasimodo being present.

As Long as there's a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Of course Disney added things but they did have the jug and counting the pieces. Unlike the book the jug in this deleted sequence broke into a thousand pieces instead four. Really Clopin just counts to three and goes up to thousand, either he couldn’t count or was just lazy.

As Long as there's a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The obvious additions are the moon. There has to be a moon which would have been lovely in the movie, Disney’s Hunchback had amazing lighting so this would just added another facet to the spectrum. Another add-on was Quasimodo joining Phoebus and Esmeralda’s hands. This was to give Quasimodo something to do since the directors REALLY didn’t want to take focus off of Quasimodo for any length of time even for five minutes. In hindsight Esmeralda and Clopin are the more popular so it would have been fine and it would have given the audience a chance to get behind Phoebus and Esmeralda’s love.

Esmeralda As Long as there's Moon Demo Reel Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda As Long as there’s Moon Demo Reel Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Also Esmeralda would have gotten another costume change so you know I’m all for that.

The issue is that since it was delated we don’t how the flow would have work. To us now it looks like they just would had a love song right after Phoebus and Quasimodo told them about Frollo coming but they would have fixed that for the pacing. I do think the movie could have used a love song and it’s again hard to judge this song as demo. It seems meh to me but it’s like one person singing with storyboard so it just a rough demo.

As Long as there's a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

As Long as there’s a moon Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

The sequence is a lot more romantic than the book but it got the idea of it pretty well it’s shame that the director were so focus on Quasimodo that it rob us getting a love song but we still have to suffer through a guy like you.

1997 Cinderella picture image

1997 Cinderella

When the 1997 version of Cinderella came out, it was like the shit at my school, granted I hated that school,  but I recalled liking it this big Budget Disney made for TV movie that was also a remake. This version is originally by Rogers and Hammerstein and was made for television as a star vehicle for Julie Andrews back in 1957 which was a live television special. It was also remade again in 1965 staring Lesley-Ann Warren.

This version was produced by the Late and Great Whitney Houston. Originally she was going to play Cinderella but deemed herself to old for the role and gave the role to Brandy. Brandy then insisted that Houston play the Fairy Godmother.

Brandy as Cinderella and Whitney Houston as The Fairy Godmother 1997 Cinderella picture image

Brandy as Cinderella and Whitney Houston as The Fairy Godmother

So how does this version differ from every other version of Cinderella? Well Cinderella and the Prince, in disguise, meet and form an attraction prior to the ball. The Prince also has a name; Christopher Rupert Windermere Vladimir Carl Alexander Francois Reginald Lancelot Herman Gregory James, to be exact.

Cinderella tells him that she would rather be treated with respect than being treated like a princess. They also bond over feeling trapped in their lives. It’s both refreshing and expected that they would bond over something like that. Let’s see what else? The stepmother isn’t a fan of love or dwelling in the past. Also they don’t seem so bad off. Cinderella also gives a decent reason for why she stays as she promised her father that the family would stay together. What else? The Godmother talks to Cinderella more, mainly about dreaming and impossibility and both encourages it and discourage it too, it’s a catchy song. Other than it’s pretty by the book version of Cinderella, though I do think this version of the Prince with his “impressive arrays of first names” (comment if you know that movie quote, you get two points), wouldn’t have just gone with the slipper fitting as evidence.

Brandy as Cinderella, Paolo Montalban as Prince Christopher, Whoopi Goldberg as Queen Constantina and Victor Garber as King Maximillian 1997 Cinderella picture image

Brandy as Cinderella, Paolo Montalban as Prince Christopher, Whoopi Goldberg as Queen Constantina and Victor Garber as King Maximillian

On the whole this version is okay, it’s not amazing but it not like bad. The cast can all sing well but then again there is the cast. This version has an odd distinction of having some interesting casting for instants a white king (Victor Garber) and a black queen (Whoopi Goldberg) have an Filipino son (Paolo Montalban) and you know that is great, why the fuck not?

Now people try to rational this casting because people are weird. Here are some of the reasons I have found online those I’m sure there are more,

#1, Adoption, that is the easy one
#2, Genetics, which is a weird one
#3, Fantasy world, which is a cop-out

Frankly, it’s hard area to wrap your head around. Ideally it should be the right person for the role. But naturally sometimes looks and families have to enter the equation for role though sadly sometimes that get tossed aside for many reasons and sometimes roles that should go to minorities (Looking at you Last Airbender as one of many, many movies ) don’t cast the right person for the role. Personally I respect this version for its casting and the cast did a good job with their roles.

Brandy as Cinderella with Veanne Cox and Natalie Desselle Reid as Stepsisters Calliope and Minerva 1997 Cinderella picture image

Brandy as Cinderella with Veanne Cox and Natalie Desselle Reid as Stepsisters Calliope and Minerva

However, I do think Brandy was a little weak. She was fine on the singing end of things but her speaking parts where a little lackluster but it wasn’t like that bad. I get the feeling she was trying to be nice, maybe she didn’t have much the work with? Everyone else is fine, Bernadette Peters, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jason Alexander are also a delight.

Bernadette Peters as the Stepmother with Veanne Cox and Natalie Desselle Reid as Stepsisters Calliope and Minerva 1997 Cinderella picture image

Bernadette Peters as the Stepmother with Natalie Desselle Reid and  Veanne Cox  as Stepsisters Minerva and Calliope

The technical are fine too. The costumes and sets are imaginative to say the least. It’s like they took the style of the early 90s and tried to make it Art Nouveau. The walls of Cinderella’s house and the castle the this odd geometric pattern that have this golden tone to them that reminds me of Klimt’s the Kiss. I kind of both like it and feel like it’s cheesy. The costumes fit this style, with lots of gold element in them with interesting shapes. Though I will point out the color of the ball is purple and blue tones which makes some lovely shots.

Brandy as Cinderella and Paolo Montalban as Prince Christopher 1997 Cinderella picture image

Brandy as Cinderella and Paolo Montalban as Prince Christopher

I’m not sure if I should mention the songs. There were some add in but they are nice songs and they were sung well, and plus how could a production go wrong on the singing front with Whitney Houston and Bernadette Peters? It doesn’t.

Bernadette Peters as the Stepmother with Veanne Cox and Natalie Desselle Reid as Stepsisters Calliope and Minerva 1997 Cinderella picture image

Bernadette Peters as the Stepmother with Veanne Cox and Natalie Desselle Reid as Stepsisters Calliope and Minerva

Is 1997 version of Cinderella the best Cinderella version? That is a matter of preference, if it’s your favorite, that’s great.  I thought it was okay at best but it didn’t make me want to tear my eyes out or lobotomized myself and that is good enough for me.

2021 Edit – Planning on re-watching this movie since it’s now on Disney+ so the review could change. Or maybe I should just write a new one since I feel like my reviewing style has shifted away from weird anger…

On March 31st it was announced  that Disney is planning on making a Live-Action Mulan movie, Source. This adds to number of Live-ation remakes following Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo and I guess Maleficent is in the mix too.

Really we all know what they are doing, these movies are clear cash grabs on popular properties. Though why Dumbo I don’t know. I mean I loved Dumbo as a kid, I still do but it’s kinda of the odd one out. You would think Snow White or the Little Mermaid over Dumbo but whatever, I’m not a studio executive nor did they ask me my opinion, I mean the should have but whatever.

But the question I have to force myself to ask, will Hunchback get this treatment? I’m going on the offence here and say probably not as Disney likes to forget that movie existed though not as much as The Black Cauldron. However unlike The Black Cauldron, which could be awesome as a live-action movie, Hunchback did get a musical which is getting a TONS of praise and does have a fan base. So it COULD maybe happen, like 0.05% chance.

Personally for me, I would love a new movie version, bad or good. And Hunchback makes more sense than a Live-Action Dumbo movie that will be mostly CG anyway so the Live-action in a misnomer. But do you think would you like Disney Hunchback live-action movie and do you even want one?

Number 10

101 Dalmatians II; Patch's London Adventure picture image

Patch

 

101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure – Aside from the meanness of the puppies, I was surprised by this one. I thought it would suck but It was largely ok. It didn’t rehash and the satire on art was silly. Cruella is also a villain that I would think wouldn’t learn her lesson so her doing what she does in this one  is understandable.

Number 9

Mulan and Shang Mulan II picture image

Mulan and Shang

Mulan II – Let’s be real here, Mulan 2 doesn’t measure up to Mulan but as a movie it doesn’t suck that much and that’s all a Disney sequel as really be.

Number 8

Pocahontas and Rolfe, Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World picture image

Pocahontas and Rolfe

Pocahontas II: Journey To A New World – Pocahontas 2 did have a lot of dull annoying parts but as a story it worked. It continued the story in a logical direction and none of the characters were overly annoying and Pocahontas’ bodyguard drinking tea, classic.

Number 7

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max The Lion King 1 1/2 picture image

Timon in drag with his mother and Uncle Max

The Lion King 1 1/2 – This might have checked out higher except for the midquel chunks. I really loved the start and end of the movie but the parts that kill it just poop on the original which was the point.

Number 6

Kiara and Kovu, The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride picture and image

Kiara and Kovu

The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride – Again this one might have ranked higher if not for the fan-fiction-ness of the plot. But aside from the weirdness in the plot, which is a big factor, the other aspects of the movie are fine, the songs are good as well as the animation and the characters are fine except for Simba, who the plot makes into a tool and that Andy Dick lion but he dies.

Number 5

Nita and Kenai Brother Bear 2 picture image

Nita and Kenai

Brother Bear 2 – I’m a little surprised at myself for putting this at number 5 but Brother Bear 2 did approve from the first one, I mean it made that little bear more BEARable, heh, puns. It may have been contrived but it was an enjoyable little movie.

Number 4

Iago and Jafar, The Return of Jafar picture image

Iago and Jafar, The Return of Jafar

The Return of Jafar – It was the sequel that started it all but Return Jafar did give us a different story as it looked a minor character from the first movie and gave him an interesting characterization. The movie in it of itself isn’t that bad and it did continue the story.

Number 3

Cassim, Iago, Jasmine, Abu, Aladdin, Aladdin and the King of Thieves picture image

Cassim, Iago, Jasmine, Abu, Aladdin, Aladdin and the King of Thieves

Aladdin and the King of Thieves – Personally I don’t really like this movie but it is decent looking and has a semi-interesting story about Aladdin and his dad. I wish the other characters did more but it was a good way to end Aladdin, though that treasure hunting plot was dumb.

Number 2

Cinderella and The Prince Cinderella III: A Twist in Time picture image

Cinderella and The Prince

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time – Yeah. it’s a dumb plot but it gave characters to characters who needed them. Cinderella and the Prince have to work to be together which makes us care for them. It also has good humor and looks good. I love the Prince jumping out the window when the king tells not to take another step down the stairs.

Number 1

Cody and Marahute The Rescuers Down Under picture image

Cody and Marahute

The Rescuers Down Under – Yeah this really isn’t fair as this movie is part of the Disney Cannon but screw it, my list. This is the only sequel that is better than original. It’s bigger and grander and the animation is stunning. I would say it lacks some emotional feels that the original has but I think the scope and the characters make up for that.

Next time the worst of the Non-Disney Princess Movies…… this might be more painful than the sequels.

With the Non-Disney Princess Movies done I thought before jumping into the next set of movies that we would take this month to revisit the previously reviewed movies and I would give my take on the best and worst Disney Sequels and Non-Disney Princess Movies and then I will say what the next bunch of movies will be.

So let’s start with the WORST Disney Sequels. And Just a note I’m not including the Pooh movies or shorts, which there was one only but still.

So here they are the Worst of Disney’s crap!

Number 10

Ariel and Flounder at The Catfish Club The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning picture image

Ariel and Flounder

The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning – Sure the animation was better than most but the movie lacked focused. We were promised Ariel’s beginning and we get Sebastian’s. Other than that the movie is just clumsy but at least it’s a different story. Really this makes the list for it’s lack of focus and false title.

Number 9

Ariel and Melody, The Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea picture image

Ariel and Melody

Little Mermaid II; Return to the Sea – This one was just a lukewarm rehash of the original Little Mermaid and was lazy to boot but I would rather watch this than most sequels if not because I didn’t hate when I FIRST saw it and if they were just going to copy a movie I can think of worse movie to rehash than the Little Mermaid but it’s still bad.

Number 8 IT’s A TIE

Mowgli and Baloo Dancing The Jungle Book 2 picture image

Mowgli and Baloo Dancing

Peter Pan and Jane Return to Neverland picture image

Peter Pan and Jane

 

 

 

 

 

The Jungle Book 2Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland – I really couldn’t decide between these two. Both have the same issues, they are dull, safe and annoying plus they were somehow deemed good enough for theaters, What? These movies both suck. At least Shere Khan is awesome.

Number 7

Angel and Scamp, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure

Angel and Scamp

Lady and the Tramp II; Scamp’s Adventure – Speaking of rehashing, however unlike the Little Mermaid this movie doesn’t get the style right plus the characters are annoying as shit. Puppies couldn’t help this movie and that is just so tragic.

Number 6

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating, Beauty and the Beast; The Enchanted Christmas picture image

Belle and the Beast Ice Skating

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas – What can you say about this one? Beast is a Scroogey-grinch, a Jewish Axe, for I dunno why and evil emo Tim Curry organ, this should have been AMAZING with such core story components but alas this was just weak as Zima.

Number 5

Madeline and Quasimodo in Love Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney Sequel 2 picture image

Madeline and Quasimodo Hunchback of Notre Dame II Disney

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II – Now technically I didn’t review this for the Sequel series as I had already looked at it in length because it’s Hunchback but it’s still sucks. Quasimodo tricks a girl with low self-esteem to like him when he see nothing really beyond her looks. I suppose he liked her a bit for seeing the gargoyles but as we see in the original the gargoyles can pick and choice who they interact with like Hugo with Djali and the whole they fight against the soldiers. But coupled with the dumb plot, the songs and animation it’s just awful but I would rather watch it than the rest of the movies on the list and that how it only ranked fifth.

Number 4

Tod and Copper The Fox and the Hound 2 picture image

Tod and Copper

The Fox and the Hound 2 – First off, Midquels are just yucky by nature, second, they joined a freaking band. So dumb, there is nothing in this of substances or entertainment. And again a puppy and a baby fox couldn’t save it. Disney what is wrong with you?

Number 3

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp Kronk's New Groove picture image

Kronk and Miss Birdwell do the spaghetti scene from lady and the tramp

Kronk’s New Groove – This movie, this movie made want to drink bleach to forget it. I really do believe I’m stupider for having watch it. This movie should have been fun but it was just movie reference after movie reference till you break down and weep from the lack of creativity. This one is just an over-all Disappointing.

Number 2

Belle and the Beast, Belle's Magical World picture image

Belle and the Beast

Belle’s Magical World – Groans, this was yet another Midquel but it wasn’t just any Midquel it was the first Midquel. As a Midquel is just took a shit on the first one since when would have the events had happened? Beast starts acting nice to Belle on first night at the castle when she thanked him from saving her life from the wolves. This movie is dumb and muddles the original.

Number 1

Obby and Milo Atlantis; Milo's Return picture imahe

Obby and Milo

Atlantis: Milo’s Return – OMFG this was literally painful to watch. I hated every single second of this minus the Lava Dog thing. This one is just a lifeless turd. There is nothing interesting or memorable about this movie. My brain is hurting just having to think about it again, Oh, the pain is too much.

Next time the Best or rather Comparatively the Top Ten Best Disney Sequels.

This is no joke the write-up for the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame on the Netflix app for the PS3, could for other app I just say it on the PS3 one.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda reading Quasimodo’s palm Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

“A deformed bell ringer falls for a beautiful gypsy girl and lives happily ever-after? Hey, it could happen.”

Expect everyone knows it doesn’t. It’s kind of the psedo-clever default joke of the movie like Belle’s two hour Stockholm Syndrome. There is just so must fail in that little write-up that I had to share it.