The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies (that were reviewed.)

In someways this was harder than the Disney sequel worst list because on the whole, I found these movies far worst, like so much worst. Most of these movies were PAINFUL to sit through.

Number #10

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland picture image

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland – At best you can say Little Nemo is average, at worst it’s an insipid annoying movie with bland characters, awkward animation and ditzy dialogue. It could have been so much more. Though it was all about pie and pies are yummy and mathematical.

Number #9

Daria and Rollo The Princess and the Pea picture image

Daria and Rollo

The Princess and the Pea – While I do admit to being charmed by this movie and enjoying it a bit, it still doesn’t change that it was dumb. The main character is hardly in it at cost of a side characters and a pea that turned out not to mean anything.

Number #8

Felix, Oriana, and Pim Felix the Cat the Movie picture image

Felix, Oriana, and Pim

Felix the Cat; The Movie – This is just a WEIRD movie. Should it lose points for being weird? No, I like weird but it’s also annoyingly stupid and the sound mixing made this movie so much worse.

Number #7

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

Gulliver’s Travels – One word, Gabby. Gabby is still one of the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Also the animation was jarring.

Number #6

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack The Thief And The Cobblerpicture image

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack

The Thief And The Cobbler – This should be lower on the list but you know what saves it? Richard Williams’ original animation. Otherwise it’s a just a train wreck. The filler animation is beyond haphazard, the songs make your ears bleed, and the characters are so weak they can’t lift a golf pencil.

Number #5

Tuptim The King and I Picture image

Tuptim

 

The King and I – This movie single-handedly made it so that the Roger and Hammerstein estate have a no-animated movie policy. Good job movie, your’s is a lameness unmatched.

Number #4

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande The Flight of Dragons picture image

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande

The Flight Of Dragons – While I do concede there was an interesting idea in this movie, it is F-ing beyond bad and boring. So many things are explained in way too much detail but more is not explain at all. How is that chick a princess? I always come back to this one as one of the worst and  it’s really hard to believe there are three worst than this but there are.

Number #3

Snow White and her Prince Happily Ever After picture image

Snow White and her Prince

 

Happily Ever After – Avoid movies with the words Happily and After in the them, your life will be greatly improved. This is one of the most annoying movies ever. The main characters are an after-thought for the side characters who make you want to lobotomize yourself with a rusty spoon. Though writing the review for it was fun mainly because this movie is so dumb, I mean they named the bad guy Maliss. Why not just name him Señor Bad-Man? Wait, that might be too clever.

Number #2

Zelia and Amin The Singing Princess picture image

Zelia and Amin

 

The Singing Princess– I debated a lot whether to put this at number one because not only was this an awful movie but the racism made really me really uncomfortable, of course the King and I was somewhat racist too but this was far less entertaining. The reason it’s not Number 1 is because I had two positives instead of none which were Julie Andrews and  some nice backgrounds. And yes, the animation was terrible but it was Italy’s first animated movie so it’s a touch more forgivable. I still hate it a lot though, like a lot.

Number #1

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda Happily N'Ever After picture image

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda

 

Happily N’Ever After– This movie has no excuse for being bad. It wasn’t the first anything, it was a massive immature cash grab. It was an ugly uninspired anus of movie that only positives was that Bender’s was a voice in it and I don’t think John DiMaggio was trying, I mean why would he? Quite literary I hated everything about this movie.

If the life of an unfamiliar puppy was on the line and I had to either watch Happily N’Ever After or Milo’s Return to save it, I think I would pick Milo’s Return but if were my life I would pick the sweet embrace of the grim reaper but since it’s a puppy I’d pick THE DISNEY SEQUAL OVER THIS SHIT, because it’s shorter and the lava dog was cute.

 

Next Time the Best, which was also hard to compile.

Now that we’re done looking at Disney sequels, we going to start reviewing movies that were not made by Disney and feature a Princess-like character or Non-Disney Princess Movies. Some you have heard of and some you may not be familiar with. I’m going try to the reviews in Chronological order but some might be out order pending if I can find them and stuff. Anyway let’s get start with the 1939 version of Gulliver’s Travels .

Guillver's Travels picture image

Guillver’s Travels

1939 was a great year for movies, we had Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz and even the Charles Laughton’s version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, unfortunately Gulliver’s Travel didn’t get that memo and we get a weird annoying little movie. Get it, because they’re small in Gulliver’s Travel.

Gulliver pulling ships Guillver's Travels picture image

Gulliver pulling ships

The story is a sailor named Gulliver washes up on a beach. The island is inhabited by little people. As he sleeps he is  found by Gabby, a watchman. While that is going on the King of Lilliput is arranging the marriage of his daughter Princess Glory to Prince David of Blefuscu. However the kings get into a fight over the wedding song and declare war, makes sense.

It’s then that Lilliputian go to the beach and tie up Gulliver. Turns out Gulliver is really chill and the Lilliputian love him and decide to use him in their war. Gulliver learns the reason for the war from Glory and David, who are quite in love and offers a comprise that they merge the songs. Then Gulliver tries to stop the war and David gets a little hurt when some spies from Blefuscu try to shot Gulliver but he’s fine and happy ending.

Gabby Guillver's Travels picture image

Gabby

So what is wrong with this movie? Oh, lots of thing. First and foremost the movie has this really weird problem of focusing on annoying characters. Pretty much everyone in this movie is annoying. Gulliver is a little annoying but not so bad. Glory and David aren’t really characters more like walking plot points that sing.

No, it’s all the old little guys. Gabby is most annoying fucker I have ever seen. This guy does not shut up ever. Give me the Gargoyles, fuck it give me the instruments from Enchanted tales version of Hunchback. Gabby is the worst. The kings are also annoying but slightly less than Gabby. The film wouldn’t be as bad if they didn’t dominate the screen. My favorite part was the ending confrontation because Gabby was in a bag through most of it.

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

The movie also likes to shift anyway from Glory and David for the annoying Kings and Gabby. It might a 1930s style and attitude towards animation but it like damn movie give me a break from the goofy characters and let the pretty people just sing their forgettable love songs.

Guillver's Travels picture image

Gulliver

Another issue I had is the animation. The goofy characters are very cartoonish whereas the pretty characters are clearly rotoscope. In Gulliver’s case traced straight from live footage and given no cartoonish tweaks like Glory and David. The different style was REALLY jarring.

Princess Glory and Prince David Guillver's Travels picture image

Princess Glory and Prince David

 

As a Princess goes Glory is there but she doesn’t do much other than sing, pout, sing and have ONE LINE of spoken dialogue. She does stub Gulliver’s feast because she mad about her and David not getting married for a stupid reason. But if the movie did focus a little more of her she could have been interesting. I mean she likable enough because she didn’t annoy me.

King Little and King Bombo Guillver's Travels picture image

King Little and King Bombo

I would say if you like that old style of cartoons, or you want to be well-verse on cartoon history or you just curious about  one of the most annoying waste of cel animation ever You should check  out Gulliver’s Travel but I just didn’t care for this movie it was way too padded with annoying characters and forgettable songs.