Enchanted Tales; Quasimodo the Handsome Emo

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Quasimodo Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo

It’s ironic that the ONLY character is this poo-fest to keep their original name is so far removed from the original intent of the character that it is downright insulting.

I mean is the story so fucking complicated that no one can really get it right or do people just not care? I mean who said Quasimodo should be handsome, did they read the story or did you think that their creativity made them above at least getting the basics right? I hate the Enchanted Tales version of Hunchback AHHHHHHHHHHH

(Inhales)

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

Ok, let start with SOME positives. Quasimodo is not the focal character. That’s actually something. In the book, you never follow Quasimodo the same as Esmeralda, Frollo or even Gringoire but because he is the titular character he gets to be a focal point.

Quasimodo also gets a back story and while it’s stupid at least it something. In the novel it was hinted that he could be a Gypsy so here it’s a nice micro call out.

Quasimodo with the Ding-Bats Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo with the Ding-Bats

However, despite having a backstory. it ruins some points of Quasimodo, First off, he and the Frollo character, Jean-Claude, are half-brothers and that doesn’t bother me so much, it bothers me that Quasimodo is older. Quasimodo is older then his father-figure-like character. It just seems wrong. I’m surprised they didn’t go with step-brother angle, more cliches!

However the biggest F.U. with the backstory is that Quasimodo was not born deformed and get got his hunch from working too much. Although later it’s revealed that his hunch was the result of sadness. Enchanted Tales hates the original hunchback story right? That is the only way to process this shit. He has a curvature of the spine because he’s Emo. (Facepalm)

Quasimodo bells to Melody Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Quasimodo bells to Melody

Quasimodo in this has next to no personality, so he’s perfect for his little chicky-poo Melody. I mean he yells at one point but then retracts it with a derpy love song. Also in that scene Quasimodo wants Melody to leave but then give her bells. He made a gift for her that he never really intended to give her, Creepy!

Handsome Quasimodo Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Handsome Quasimodo a.k.a Wholemodo?

I could take his no personality and him being older than a half-brother Frollo if they at least kept the fundamentals. His “deformities” or rather his icky looks were just him with bad posture and unkempt hair because he was sad. That was it? Not hideous.

Hmm I guess you could he is a bit of drama queen. And sure he rings bells at a place called Notre Dame but his being a handsome beefy guy that with a better animation budget would look like a Disney Prince is just unforgivable.

Melody and a handome Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and a “handome” Quasimodo

Then to add the worst insult the fucking movie tells us the viewer that looks don’t matter. If looks don’ matter then why bother making Quasimodo handsome in the first place? It’s such a terrible way to present that moral because it’s saying look that don’t matter if you’re considered conventional attractive ARGH.

Melody and Quasimodo getting married Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo getting married

Who wrote this? A handsome Quasimodo who then totes that looks are not important should not be getting paid to write especially for young kids/babysitter fodder.

Next time – Jean-Cluade a.k.a Not Frollo

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude

What Aspect of the Hunchback do you like?

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What Aspect of the Hunchback do you like?

Frollo stares at Esmeralda's chest for 15 seconds (Sir Cedric Hardwicke, Maureen O'Hara) 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo stares at Esmeralda’s chest for 15 seconds, Sir Cedric Hardwicke, Maureen O’Hara, 1939 Hunchback of Notre Dame

At first for me it was Frollo and how he responded to Esmeralda. His internal conflict about purity versus his baser instinct I thought was interesting and her being to shallow to really care.  But I also liked how Esmeralda impacts lots of different men and differently they react to her.

But what for you do you like from the story or do you find interesting about The Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Frollo Flies Kite: A Fan-Fiction by Me Chapter 2

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Frollo Flies Kite
Fan-fiction by Me (Jess of the Hunchblog of Notre Dame)

 Chapter 2

 One day in early summer, Frollo came to the clearing to watch the subject of his desire fly. On this day he saw that the young  couple was now a trio, that worthless Captain of the King’s Archers, Phoebus de Chateaupers was flying his beloved kite. The captain was reckless as he flew the kite. He showed no regard for that delicate string which supported the beauty of the sweet kite which supported its grace and add to its beauty. Overcome with rage, jealousy and lust, Frollo withdrew to Notre Dame. Once there he shut himself away deep within his cell, consume by his torment. Seeing his beloved kite in the hands of that odious man played in his brain. He beat his head against the floor but the image lingered. He felt that his fate was tied in the delicate strings of the kite. Frollo knew that while his love was in the clutches of the poet and the dancer that this horror of that captain flying his kite would repeat and as dawn broke through the heavens

Frollo knew what he must do to ensure that no one else would ever touch the kite again except him. He collected himself off the floor and rushed up to bell tower. He found his ever loyal bell-ringer Quasimodo lovely caressing the bells. Frollo signed to the deaf deformed bell-ringer to follow him and without a moment’s hesitation Quasimodo followed his master.

Frollo lead Quasimodo to a place where he knew the gypsy and the poet would pass with kite on their way to the clearing. After a few hours of waiting in readiness La Esmeralda and Gringoire came into to view carrying the charming kite. Frollo made a sign to Quasimodo and in accordance with his master’s wishes he made a swipe at the poet and picked up the dancer. The kite fell to the ground in the struggle. Frollo seeing the kite hit the ground mustered all his swiftness and made a grab at it and ordered Quasimodo to release the dancer and follow him. Quasimodo complied but was confused by what had transpired as were Esmeralda and Gringoire. Frollo and Quasimodo fled the scene with kite in toe while dancer and the poet went off to buy a new kite.