Why did the Hunchback cross the road?
To get a drink of water.
Why did the Hunchback cross the road?
To get a drink of water.
Quasimodo walks into a bar, strolls straight up to the barman and says, “I’ll have a whisky please.”
The barman says, “Bells alright?”
Quasimodo replies, “Mind your own business.”
(Bells is a brand of Whisky)
Quasimodo is once again a bachelor. He dumped Madeline as her need of constant validation that she was more than just a pretty face got of his nerves. Now Quasimodo has one notch on his bedpost and he looking for more. He started by re-doing the whole Bell-tower into a swinging Bachelor pad complete with all latest stuff.
So what does Quasimodo have in his pad. Well he has a wonderful big screen TV
, a monster sound system, Blu-ray DVD Player, Playstation 3
(he’s currently enjoying Skyrim and Little Big Planet 2), a recliner (with a cup holder) plus a lot more.
Quasimodo is here for the ladies so if your intersted Quasimodo address is;
6 Parvis Notre-Dame – Place Jean-Paul II
75004 Paris
and his digits are +33 (0)1 42 34 56 10.
Call or visit anytime and I do mean anytime ^_~,
He loves to love and he’ll love you. After all he’s French! And just for you he’ll break out his finest bottle of Champagne and treat you like the treasure you are until his next date comes. Quasimodo is a real Ladies’ Man!
Today I’m going to review Youtube Reviewer LazerDude99 as he reviews Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame mainly because they are at lot of problems with it. I’ll start with negatives and end with positives. (and just for the record, I know I’m not a perfect reviewer so take what I say with a grain of salt when I review reviews.)
My first problem is on the technical end. The Sound mixing is not very good. His voice is too quiet while the film’s audio is too loud, the point of the review is to hear the review. This could be a problem with compression or microphone. The visuals of the DVD is also not that crisp and washed out again this could be a problem with video compression.
However my biggest problem with is review is the fact checking. He does admits that he didn’t know that story and got it wrong in the comments but if your going through the trouble of writing a review, recording it, ripping the DVD, editing the video taking 5 minutes to read wikipedia or just a summary doesn’t seem like that big of a task. In the video he says that he thinks that Quasimodo kills Esmeralda in jealous rage. However he also didn’t know that Djali was original to Hugo or Clopin’s voice actor. Not knowing that Paul Kandel did Clopin’s voice won’t have been a problem if he hadn’t mention Kevin Kline voicing Phoebus. While mistakes are likely to happen just make sure that if you can Fact check, do it.
I also have problems with the ascertain that he made about “Director losing his vision” . First there were two directors (Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise { Fact Checking). Now I can’t know what happened behind the scenes but I think they bought into that mindset that films are a collaborative process. Maybe it was too collaborative as there were 18 writers on Hunchback but it seem from the commentary that studio was behind the dark tones of the film and didn’t try to rain it in. (Now I’m making ascertain based on the commentary). I do know that they wanted to make Hunchback as mean to push CG animation and because they felt at it’s core that Hunchback had fairy tale archetypes.
Another problem was the discussion of the Tone. Hunchback does have a lot of tones. It’s humorous and dark But is that actually bad in a film to be multi-toned? NoIdo not think so. I’ve watch a tons film/tv series that are multi-tone. Take a Bollywood movie, one minute you can have crying the next dancing. The trick to a multi-toned film is good transitions from one tone to next i.e flow which Hunchback does have. It’s not like Hellfire goes to the gargoyles’ annoying antics to someone being fatally wounded to a silly song. It has good flow thou I do wish the “child-friendly” stuff was toned (no pun intended), the kids would have been fine. I also think Phoebus’ humor and the Old Heretic help to bridge the gap between the dark elements and kid-friendly stuff. As Phoebus is sarcastic and the old heretic is a running gag that reflect Frollo’s insane control. Also I would point as dark as people say the book is it does have a lot of funny moments.
Also the jokes he makes are not that funny (at least to me). They feel really forced. The clip of the pumpkin dropping on the car was too long it should have ended on impact or after the screams but it felt forced joke. The Hellfire as camp song joke was forced too. Maybe if he had gone over the top with it (Green Screen) or sang to it to “Kumbaya” (cliche camp song) it might have been better. The Barney/Die Hard joke might have been funny but I couldn’t tell because I couldn’t make out the picture (making it bigger didn’t help). Admittedly he did this review a year ago and this is the only one I’ve watched so he might have learned from mistakes and these negative at mute points and not really need the repeating.
Ok, positives and these are things I agree with.
The Gargoyles, yeah he hates them too. Does any out there like them? I mean I’m sure they are some people but rarely do I ever see a defense for them. I’d be curious to hear from gargoyle supporters
He likes the Old Heretic, he was may favorite gag in the film.
He praises Frollo and hellfire. Everyone seems to but in this case everyones right. Frollo and Hellfire are the highlight the movie. He also enjoyed Phoebus and Clopin, and I can’t argue with that. Phoebus maybe a little too pefect but at least he’s amusing and I liked Clopin a lot.
I do have to agree with him about Quasimodo is boring. Like Esmeralda, he is a little too perfect of a character. He’s not really flawed like he is in the book or in other adaptations.
Now I don’t watch many reviews on youtube but LazerDude 99 does seem to try to make a decent review of the movie that for the most part is well made. I mean video compression is a hard thing to master, camera/microphone can be expense. I just wished he had fact checked better, Quasimodo Killing Esmeralda is wrong on some many levels. And the jokes need to tighter and clearer because I feel that they fall flat. I suppose in the realm of the youtube reviewer his probably is good, I mean he did book effort into it and did back up his thoughts in an intelligent way.
Watch the Review for yourself by clicking HERE
Not My Joke and it has variations; try to Enjoy
The hunchback of Notre Dame needed a job. He knocked on the door of the belltower. The gentleman at the door asked,
“What do you want?” The hunchback replied,
“I need a job. I want to ring the bell.”
“You’re too short to ring the bell,” said the gentleman. The hunchback said,
“Just give me one chance to prove to you that I can.”
The gentleman agrees and the two go up to the bell at the top of the tower. Clearly the small man could not reach the bell. He takes a few steps back and takes a running jump, banging the bell with his face.
“Okay,” said the gentleman, “but you can’t do it more than once, you’ll hurt yourself.”
But the hunchback did it again and again and again and was fine. He gets the job.
The next day the same gentleman is walking down the street with the priest. The hunchback of Notre Dame takes his running start, misses the bell and falls of the building, crashing to the ground, dead. The priest goes,
“Oh my god! Did you know this man?” The gentleman replies,
“No, but his face rings a bell.”
It’s time for Fanart, this piece is by AmbrMerlinus. And it’s a pun and I love puns!