I guess this more of a Lukewarm Take. 

I’m not going to be mean to the actors BUT most other aspects of film are fair game and the higher ups on this movie are the ones to blame.

I’m so over these remakes, I just do not care about them. The last one I watched in its entirety was Cruella and it was only to get sometime out the house, long story. I skipped through parts of Aladdin and I gave up watching The Little Mermaid, I do still sort want to analyze the costumes from that movie because what is happening Disney Live action costumes versions? Let’s put a pin in till a later section because I have thoughts, probably too many thoughts about movie costumes.  

 Also these are knee-jerk reactions to the teaser ultimately the “feelings” have no impact, I do not really care all that much.

Anyway, Let’s Get into the Snow White Teaser Trailer

Oh boy, trying to make “Whistle while you work” epic doesn’t cut mustard tones of this movie. I think the marketing team was forced to use it because Snow White couldn’t sing “Someday my Prince will come” or “Wishing Well” because those songs are about wanting love and we can’t have that anymore can we? Strong leaders who are female characters can’t want love, men can though, that is fine. The vocalization from that “Wishing Well” COULD have work but it would have reminded the audience of love so probably not at good choice for the music. So that just leaves “Whistle while you work” in that off-kilter Lana Del Rey style that Disney remakes seem to love.  

Just no to the Cgi animals and dwarves, especially the dwarves. No, No, A thousands times NO! I wonder why Disney remakes these “live-action” movies when most of are Cgi? I mean the answer is Money but still it likes that Cyrano quote, “I ask for creamYou give me milk and water.”

I hate Snow White’s haircut. Snow White’s hair in the animated movie looks like it’s pinned up which makes it look short, or if not that, is curled to make it looks shorter. If they had WANTED to go with short hair then go for homage to the late 1930s. As it in the teaser, it looks really unflattering.  I HATE to bring it up -especially since others have already – but it looks like Lord Farquaad’s hair. Who thought it was a good idea? They test these things during pre-production so who signed off the Lord Farquaad 2.0??? WHO?  

I despise “Evil Queen’s” costume. Sure it looks “evil” but more in like a cheesy 80s sci-fi flick way. That is a vibe I could get behind if that was the aesthetic of the film but when you make Regina’s OUAT costumes look subtle then there is a problem. This is a major motion picture for f-sake, they had a budget why do the costumes look cheap?  I guess a point for a wimple, I guess. It feel so much worse knowing that Sandy Powell did the costumes, she did the costumes 2015’s Cinderella so what happen here? I don’t dislike Snow White’s “reimagined” costume but it also looks like the most obvious take on the costume one could do for a live-action movie. Also it has the same sleeves as 2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman. Her yellow skirt looks like Powell used the same layer approach as the Cinderella gown but I don’t think the semi sheer fabric over a shimmering under-layer works for this movie as it’s not a magical dress, she wears it to pick wildflowers.  From what little I can see of Snow’s maid costume I do not like it. Oh well at least Powell got paid, at least I hope she bank off it.

That cape flip at 0:46 is a straight lift from OG movie and it made me roll my eyes. Also does this Evil Queen have a name?      

I feel like Snow White is one of the most misunderstood Disney main characters because her seemingly passivity gets interpretative as weakness and she is not. Snow White displays leadership traits, just on a small scale. She got seven men to obey her in a few minutes and wash their hands. She’s also sassy. Her characterization was from different time, right before WWII. Snow White didn’t need to figure herself out or struggle to be understood, she knew who she was and got the job done with no whinging. She was a character for the late 1930s. 

I feel nothing from this teaser aside from minor confusion and major apathy. 

shrek picture image

Shrek

Shrek a is Dreamworks 2001 CG movie. It was based off of a 1990 picture book by William Steig of the same name. Shrek is one of those seminal Non-Disney Princess movies and by that I just mean that it’s popular, like really popular. But just because something is popular does that make it good?

shrek, Donkey and Fiona shrek picture image

Shrek, Donkey and Fiona

Shrek is about a misanthrope Ogre who gets his swamp home invaded by Fairy-Tale creatures as Lord Farquaad wants the perfect kingdom and Fairy-tale creatures offend his senses or something. Lord Farquaad is trying to become king so he has to marry a princess, and he picks Princess Fiona who needs to be recused from a pretty dragon.

Shrek and a talking Donkey go to Lord Farquaad’s kingdom and Farquaad tells him if he recuse the Princess he will return the Swamp back to normal sans the enchanted little creatures. So Shrek and Donkey embark on a quest and save Fiona from the girly dragon.

Fiona at first isn’t happy that Fairy-tale logic wasn’t followed as her groom-to-be didn’t save her himself but on journey home Shrek and Fiona form an attachment. Fiona is also cursed as she turns into an ogre by night and only a kiss from her true love can break the spell. However Shrek over hears her and donkey talking about how she is ugly and hideous and he misconstrues it that they are talking about him and not her. Shrek is hurt and hasten Farquaad to them as they right outside the kingdom. Fiona is desperate to break her curse so her wants the wedding before sunset. Shrek and Fiona then part mad and sad about the misunderstanding. However Donkey convinces Shrek to break up the wedding and Fiona reveals her curse and when she and Shrek kiss she permanently becomes an ogre.

Shrek and Donkey's souvenir photo  shrek picture image

Shrek and Donkey’s souvenir photo

Shrek’s narrative is very simple, it’s a fun buddy journey story. Nothing really grand happens but that is not the point. It’s meant to a parody of Disney/fairytales. As far as that goes, Shrek wasn’t the first to this but there so much bile on the front maligning Disney. The first rule of parody is you have to love was you’re parodying and they clearly did not. Does that hurt the movie? Not really as it only is certain points in the film it’s still enjoyable. Shrek has some silly moments but the pacing is slow at points and some of the character are lacking.

Lord Farquaad and the magic mirror shrek picture image

Lord Farquaad and the magic mirror

First there is Shrek. Shrek is a big uncouth ogre or that how he appears and how he wants to be thought of. He makes the point that ogres have layers but the most revealing thing about him is that he is something of a culinarian. He also nice and sensitive but that is invention of the plot to add to the romance and drama. Donkey is annoying which is his point. Really the side characters are better and more likable. Lord Farquaad is hilarious with his Napoleon Complex although what is his deal? Is he a regent? How does marrying a random princess give him legitimacy? Gingy was my favorite characters and he was just in one scene but that was enough, and really it’s the sequel that give the cool side character more to do.

Fiona kicking  ass shrek picture image

Fiona kicking ass

Then we have the princess, Fiona. Fiona is a proper late 90’s early 2000’s princess gal, she is pretty and kick-ass. Her being no-nonsense and ass kicking seems to stems off from her ogre persona. She also an odd blend of romantic and practical which is refreshing. I have no issues with Fiona.

I suppose the only issue I could have is that she only accepts her ogre form when she deems attractive by a male. But the point of it was that beauty is in eye of the beholder and having an unconventional beauty as the princess is the point to Fiona’s curse as story piece.

Monsieur Hood singing  shrek picture image

Monsieur Hood singing

I have been down on CG’s animation movies in the past and while I prefer hand-drawn stuff, I like Shrek’s animations. It’s nice cartoony and warm.

The music uses preexisting songs but they are handled fine though I love that enchanting leitmotif which is used at the beginning and what Fiona sings when she accidentally blew up that bird. Also the Robin hood song was silly.

shrek picture image

Shrek

Shrek is a fun and silly movie that pokes fun at fairytales/Disney tropes. Is it bad? No, it’s fine but I like the second one better.

I just want to plug The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, it was my favorite book as kid and parodies fairytales so  devilishly delightfully.