Maleficent | The Hunchblog of Notre Dame

05Jun 2017

Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episodes 15 & 16 Review

by jess

Episode 15: Enter the Dragon

Lana Parrilla as Regina & Kristin Bauer van Straten as Maleficent

Regina is both Snape and a manic pixie dream girl in this episode. Actually I’m not sure she is really pulling a Snape here, I have only a passing knowledge of Harry Potter.

In the Storybrooke part, Regina is trying to convince the bad girls that she wants to join their reindeer games which means some collateral damage and kidnapping. Emma in the episode is super annoying and now she says her super power is working. Whatever. Basically their goal is the same as Regina which is to find the author but Regina just wanted the author to change her fate, the villains want the author two make villains win and heros lose. Geeze, I think that is a super bad goal. I mean it’s like a 4th grader came up with it.

In the Enchanted Forest, Regina plays manic pixie dream girl to Maleficent who off her grind after she lost to Briar Rose. Briar Rose is also Sleeping Beauty. Aurora is her daughter who ALSO is sleeping Beauty. Basically Regina gets Maleficent back into her groove and her dragon form hence the title. It’s also a reference to the 1973 Bruce Lee movie. This plot was marginally better than the Storybrooke plot.

In other news Belle is a dummy who couldn’t see through Rumple’s rouse of getting the dagger in Hook’s form. I mean sure it’s convincing at Grannies BUT not so much after that. Belle is wasted in the show and so is Sarah Bolger as Aurora. Bolger was great in The Tudors and the production wastes her.

Also Pinocchio went through instant puberty and is now August again. Basically the Villains want to interrogate him.

Couple of things. Rumple tells Regina about how Maleficent burnt down a forest that still has a tree on fire because the fire was so hot. Is the fire hot or is the wood strong? Because I don’t think the fire being hot means anything for the longevity of the flame. I love Maleficent’s wardrobe in the real world. It’s great. Also Regina’s leather coat was great.

I liked that this episode focused on Maleficent and Regina but Emma’s annoying brand of worry and trying to insert herself into the plan was taxing to say the least. I think the villains are carrying the arc because it would be so dull without those three ladies.

Episode 16: Poor Unfortunate Soul

Merrin Dungey as Ursula

For the most part this was an enjoyable episode. I liked how they made movie Ariel’s backstory into Ursula’s back story. As she is the mermaid with the beautiful voice who wanted to keep music alive after the death of her mother but her Sea King father shut it down. S Basically it’s the plot of Ariel’s Beginning without Sebastian except with her goes to land to sing. Hook tries to help but ended up taking her singing voice.. It was nice that Ursula got a happy ending and it was nice to see Ariel again, I feel like show should use her more or it could be a case of less is more.

The Storybrooke plot did offer a nice twist that the door to this author is the page itself. The show can be clever with its twists. But the other twist of how Rumple plans to “change the rules” but filling Emma’s heart with darkness is dumb and seems convoluted. There was also Hook whining about how he was a villain so he afraid of slipping back into the “darkness” and losing his happy ending. But really, WHAT DID HE DO TO BE A VILLAIN? It was just kind of a ass and pirate. I guess violence makes on a villains and not evil schemes of power grabbing.

Also if the characters move out of Storybrooke do the rules still apply? Like how does this author work in the “Land without Magic?” Also not fan of seeing CG Wooden August agian. Wish the show wouldn’t reveal in their terrible CG work. But it was a good episode and hey they got Bernie Hudson to play Poseidon .

While I’m on the subject of actors, the guy who plays August, Eion Bailey, was on an episode of 30 Rock, Season 4 episode called It’s never too late for now, and Ursula’s actress, Merrin Dungey, was Sheila on Better off Ted, I love those two shows.

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01Jun 2017

Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episodes 13 & 14 Review

by jess

Episode 13: Darkness on the Edge of Town

Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin, Victoria Smurfit as Cruella De Vil & Merrin Dungey as Ursula

I have two questions before we dive into the review. What does Snow teach? And what grade is Henry in? Because she was his teacher back in season 1 and she is still his teacher in season 4, color me confused? And Where is Frederick? He was the gym teacher. I’d really like to know what happen with him and Kathryn

Another thing I have to question, did Belle REALLY think a Cambridge linguist would know how to translate an ancient spell. Spoiler, it was Rumple. Either Belle is super naive or dumb, really not sure anymore.

So the episode has a few thing getting set-up. Basically the marching orders of this season are the villains are going to TAKE their happy endings, so Rumple enlists the help of Ursula, who works at and aquarium and Cruella who has fallen financial hard times. It seems like her husband was going to jail for tax evasion or fraud or something. Anyway so Rumple is hanging out with the mean girls and their FIRST goal is to get back into Storybrooke.

In Storybrooke, the crew is trying to release the fairies from the hat. That is the spell Belle got translated although it doesn’t release the apprentice but it does release the Chernabog from Fantasia. And as is typical for this show, the CG Chernabog looks REALLY bad. It looks more cartoony than that cartoon, which scared the crap out me as kid but now it’s amazing so shame on you OUAT.

The Chernabog was the subject of the past plot line where Rumple used Ursula, Cruella, and Maleficent to steal the Dark curse from the Chernabog. Rumple made it seem like he needed the evil ladies for their skill sets but it was rouse since the Chernabog eats the heart with the darkest potential. Anyway the ladies make it out together with the power of not being assholes to each other.

Ursula and Cruella use their knowledge of the Chernabog to leverage passage into Storybrooke as the Chernabog is going to eat a bitch. Regina knows it’s her but it’s really Emma, what a Twist! Also in a twist Rumple set-up the Chernabog relase so the ladies could get into town.

Snow and David as REALLY against Ursula and Cruella getting into town but are over ruled and they seem to have history together. Ursula and Cruella further prove they are not completely terrible people by not abandoning Rumple at the town line even though they would be justified. Their next goal is bring back Maleficent.

This episode was OKAY at best. It had some decent pacing but it’s still in the set-up phase which will take awhile. Snow and David are losing their charm and now they seem like douches. Also the Chernabog coming out the hat was just too funny. How did nd no one saw it? It was oozing evil and RIGHT there!

I will say I do like Ursula and Cruella. They are delightful in their evilness but I like that Ursula feels like her own character, apart from the movie and how Cruella has like power over animals, that is a rather neat touch.

Episode 14: Unforgiven

Kristin Bauer van Straten as Maleficent, Victoria Smurfit as Cruella De Vil, Merrin Dungey as Ursula, Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White and Josh Dallas as David

Pretty much just lie to Emma’s face, if she likes you enough she won’t believe it anyway. All her parents do in this episode is lie to her and nothing. You could start a drinking game or some season bingo game with this plot contrivance

This episode give us hints as to what Snow and David did that makes them wary of Ursula and Cruella. So far Snow only say that she was responsible for Maleficent “losing” her child. Not sure what the means. Lost could be dead or Snow and David lost her like at market or something. Both scenarios could cause all that guilt. That this does retcon Snow’s darkness in her heart. It also seems that the losing of Mal’s baby is the reason for Emma’s super light magic because she had the potential to be Super good and Super bad. Thought it’s curious if Snow and David did something to make Emma good, why did the Chernabog go after her in the last episode?

I do have to wonder, how are they villains in the context of the show? Sure, we the audinece know they are “villains” but what did they do that gives that stigma in the Enchanted Forest. Because so far aside from Maleficent offing some guards they haven’t done much to anyone. Seems like Snow and David are more like villain. Maleficent wants the same thing as Snow and Snow didn’t know know Maleficent’s method for stopping the curse. Snow didn’t give her a chance. I guess the characters are all pretty grey but they throw the word Villains around so much you would think the show is brand placement for the Disney Villain line. Now in sock form!

The villains are the only noteworthy plot point. The author plot with Regina and Henry is dull and I don’t really care that Belle is playing kissy-face with Will. Hook has some history with Ursula that he keeping from Emma. I’m sure that backstory will get told when it’s dramatic enough.

So I guess we’ll find out how the Charmings “lost” Maleficent’s baby? Who is Maleficent’s baby? What Hook did to Ursula? Who the author is? How will Regina infiltrate the mean girls? Will Ursula and Cruella go back to granny’s after the bad service? Why Snow felt the need to monologue? What’s wrong with chocolate donuts? Would claymation look better than the CGs in this show? These are some of the big questions.

As for the episode, it was alright. At this point I just like the newer villains, the other character are just starting to become less interesting. I mean it’s all about lies and the author with them.

One more thing, I would rather watch a sitcom style show where Ursula, Cruella and Maleficent are all roommates in some city just trying to have it all. Rumple can be the neighbor or something.

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29May 2017

Once Upon a Time Season 4 Episodes 11 & 12 Review

by jess

Episode 11: Shattered Sight

Georgina Haig as Elsa, Elizabeth Lail as Anna & Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan

It’s the Purge, ABC Style! This episode wraps up the Snow Queen’s arc. The past portionis about Emma and Ingrid’s relationship. Ingrid and Emma did have a nice relationship and Ingrid was trying to adopt her. Ingrid messed it up however when she tries to push Emma’s powers out by nearly getting her hit by a car. Emma thinks she is crazy and runs off. Prior to that 28 year deadline Ingrid finds Storybrooke and sets up shop. When Emma wonders into the Ice Cream shop, Ingrid takes her memories.

Most of the episode is the fairy tale character being horrible to each other or beating the crap out of everyone. Emma releases Regina out because she figures that Regina’s hatred for her will undo the Ribbons. Not really sure how that really works. So as once the ribbons are off Emma and Elsa go to face off against Ingrid, as killing her is the only way to break the curse. Otherwise it’s a Regina and Snow bitch fight.

Anna then finds a the letter that Gerda wrote before she drown which recounts Ingrid and how she loved her and how she should encouraged Ingrid to accept her own powers and nothide away. Ingrid realizes that she has what she always wanted; her sister’s love. She then sacrifices herself to break the spell so that she can join her sisters.

The is arc made some aspects of Frozen make a little more sense. It serves as somewhat prequel and sequel to frozen and yet NO OLAF, I’m over it but a little annoyed. I wish Ingrid’s plan wasn’t so off. She wanted the love of her sisters but she didn’t want anyone else around. Just seems a little weak of an evil plan. It slightly evil but not really all that evil. She did get redeem though which is more than Rumple can say. His character development is like in the negatives at this point. He’s worse than when he started. Since his plot is still up in the air I bet the next arc will focus on him more.

I will say that Evil Snow and David were fun but why did the spell wear off quickly with Anna but not on the town? Did Ingrid control durations? Or is it like once the person does some task? Like with Anna it was threatening trapping Elsa in the urn and for the town it was just death?

This arc felt too all over the place. There were like so much set-up for other plots and the main Snow Queen/Frozen felt drawn out and nearly divertive of Frozen. It wasn’t a re-imaging but Frozen 2.0 which felt cheap. Also Will Scarlett is colossal waste of time.

Episode 12; Heroes and Villains

Kristin Bauer van Straten as Maleficent, Victoria Smurfit as Cruella De Vil, Emilie de Ravin as Belle & Merrin Dungey as Ursula

This episode wraps Rumple wanting to be free of the dagger plot, wanting to kill Hook and the aftermath of the Frozen. See because Rumple lied about knowing Anna, and Anna knows his plan he wants Anna gone. Rumple finds a portal and as the Frozen crew leaves Anna clues them into Rumple’s plan. Emma and Snow try to stop him but fail. Belle stops him with the help of an object that can lead someone to a person’s weakness which leads her to the dagger.

The past plot deals with Rumple trading the object for Belle’s life after Maleficent, Ursula and Cruella kidnapped her. Rumple then got the thing back from them and Belle found in in present day Storybrooke. Basically Belle thought she was worth more to Rumple than power so in the end she makes him leave Storybrooke. He then goes to New York City, because there is nothing between Maine and New York City. At least Belle got smart again. Smart might be the wrong word, maybe perceptive.

Robin and Marian also leave town because Marian got refrozen and it was the only way to save her except for Roland’s kiss which could have if the character remembers things. So even though Marian was going to left Regina and Robin be together NOPE. Also now when people leave town the don’t forget but they just can see the town anymore.

One question! Didn’t Mulan join the merry man? Or did she lied to Aurora? Where is Mulan? Or Nova? Or Ruby? Also just a minor nitpick but it’s more of a personal pet peeve, Individuals do not evolve. Rumple didn’t evolve he either matured or reverted. I hated it the usage of the word even in Pokemon.

Mostly this was good episode, though do wish we saw something of Elsa and Anna taking back Arendelle, seems like they just beat up Hans and that was enough. They redid the chocolate line because they had to throw ONE MORE FROZEN thing in the show. Speaking of divertive things we are introduced to Maleficent in her evil sleeping Beauty costume(though we have seen her before), Ursula who seems the least derivative one and Cruella who has amazing cheekbones. Let’s see where this new arc is going but it has a lot to do with previous set-up arc of finding the author. Which Henry did find a clue of in the sorcerer’s mansion. So either the sorcerer is the author or knows the writer. Seems weird there even is a physical author.
Anyway this a good episode, I like seeing Rumple suffer.

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05May 2016

The Top Ten Worst Live-Action Fairy-Tale Movies

by jess

This is a list of the worst Live-Action Fairy Tale movies that were reviewed. This list was hard to compose because there was just so many bad movies and they were bad in different ways. Some were just bad, some confused the source material the point of insanity and some did both. But when is came down it it came to a question of which one would I rather watch again.

Also a note I’m adding two posts on movies that I personally was disappointed in and ones I liked were were surprised by, these movies also do not appear on the Best/Worst lists.

Number #10

Mila Kunis as Theodora

Oz the Great and Powerful – This one made the list more on wasted potential and its odd casting. Mila Kunis and James Franco were just too ill suited in their roles. There were just too many odd other choices to ignore, like none of the characters have good motivations. The movie does have nice technicals like the China Girl but a lot of the techicals come at the expense of the characters. Plus Mila Kunis as the wicked witch was just silly.

Number #9

Amanda Seyfried as Valerie

Red riding Hood – Yes, this movie sucks and is pretty much a Twilight version of Little Red Riding Hood. I get the feeling though that people working of it more less knew that and just went on because it’s a paid check. However given some of the other movies, I would rather watch this one. Plus the very first time I watch it I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would so that is something, granted I was hanging out with people and having fun so the movie might have been a mute point.

Number #8

Tom Hanks as Allen & Daryl Hannah as Madison

Splash – I know a lot of people out there like this movie but I found all the characters so unlikable. The plot also sucks with the mermaid time limit, the weird rules and the whole government thing. It’s dumb and unlikable. Plus it lost me the second they said let’s look at Cape Cod, stupid movie.

Number #7

Emily Blunt as The Baker’s Wife, James Corden as The Baker and Daniel Huttlestone as Jack

Into the Woods – If Splash under explained its plot than Into the Woods over explains it to the point where you don’t even need to watch the movie, just listen to it in another room. I mean what’s the point of a visual median if you don’t need to watch the thing? Though to be fair this movie is so dark and devoid of good visuals anyway that you’re not even missing anything. It’s really disappointing since that could have made the visual interesting and they didn’t and with musical movie you need or it’s get boring, like this one.

Number #6

Alex Pettyfer as Hunter/Kyle and Vanessa Hudgens as Lindy

Beastly – Yet another Twilight-eque take on a Fairy tale. In this world being bland and tattoo is super ugly and if you don’t live in Manhattan you might as well just kill yourself because you’re in exile. This one is just shallow, vapid and stupid. I mean really the guy won the girl with quite literally candy and flowers.

Number #5

Amanda Bynes as Sydney with The Seven Dorks

Sydney White – Oh this one is so stupid that it hurts. The sad part is that I think the movie thinks that it is indeed being clever and funny, which it is not. Also I hate the whole girl is cool because like a dude but with a vagina. Hated this movie.

Number #4

Kristen Stewart as Snow White & Chris Hemsworth as The Huntsmen

Snow White and the Huntsmen – It’s a kick-ass Snow white movie, problem is the girl doesn’t do much of anything except for the one thing a man taught her. There just so much just wrong with this movie that it’s impossible to put it one paragraph. But it a chaotic mess that promised an active Snow White but didn’t not. The only thing we really get is a screaming Charlize Theron in some cool costumes but that isn’t enough, it’s really nothing.

Number #3

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent

Maleficent – This movie is just so misguided that it’s a wonder that they actually made it. It’s basic a Frozen and Wicked knock-off just with Sleeping Beauty. But what really gets me is that they took the Mistress of all Evil and made her a scorned woman who was really a good fairy. Just so much No. Also so was more a prankster than an evil villain.

Number #2

Matt Damon as Will and Health Ledger as Jacob

The Brothers Grimm – The idea behind this movie might have been good but the excution was beyond annoying. The jokes were not funny and character all sucked. Everything and I do mean everything about this movie was pure rancid vomit that at no point was I entertained or amused. Why was this even made? Who gave someone the money to make this?

Number #1

Eliza Bennett as Snow White

Grimm’s Snow White – What can really be said about a movie when the people making it had the intention and the hope that no one watching it was paying attention? Beyond that I just don’t know what to say about this movie as it’s not telling the story of Snow White that I’m not even sure why the threw in the elements and slap the name on it in the first place. First off this is more of a Lord of the Ring knock-off than a Snow White but also Snow white is Blonde, it’s just what the fuck is this? The Dwarves are Elves and the Evil Queen wants some Star Fire. Even if the plot misses the point of either source there nothing else that this movie offers of substance, the characters were so devoid of anything that you can’t even call them characters and the technicals are cringeworthy.

This is the worst thing I have ever seen. This movie makes Happy N’ever After and Milo’s return look like works of brilliance and those movies are shit. Grimm’s Snow White isn’t even shit, it’s the festering bowels of a beached whale carcass that is so corrupted by the polluted waters that it will not wither away into nothingness.

The real question is what is worse Grimm’s Snow White or The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale? That is too tough to even think about.

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09Jul 2015

Maleficent Review; I think it was all the exposition that put Aurora to sleep

by jess

Maleficent

As some people might have guess from my clues, this week we’re looking at the 2014 movie, Maleficent. This movie is a re-imagining of the 1959 Disney version of Sleeping Beauty but from villain Maleficent’s perspective, hence the name. While on paper that does not seem like a bad idea, the execution of this movie is so fucking naive that it’s bad. It’s like they took the stupidest idea possible for what to do with Maleficent’s character and combined with more successful movies, like Frozen, Avatar and Lord of the Rings to name the obvious ones.

Also, all I will say on the narration is that it was over-done and bogged the movie down. It was the first red-flag of crappiness.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Elle Fanning as Aurora

Basically, Maleficent is a fairy with bird wings and horns and she lives in the Moors and fucking shot me already. The Moors are clearly just a name but they don’t look anything like Moorlands of England. They could have called the mythical utopian fairy land ANYTHING else and it wouldn’t been an issue but now I have to think about how stupid this name is every time it appears on screen. Since the Moors are a discount failed Pandora from Avatar why not just called them something Greek or something, ANYTHING would have been better. Was that your first idea screenwriter? Really, off an a tangent already, great start.

So the “Moors” which is a land of fairies and Tree-ants a la Lord of the Rings and/or Groot are at odd with the Humans. Maleficent is a some kind of super fairy and she befriends and falls in love with a human named Stefan. The king gets his beard in a twist because Maleficent kicked with army’s butt with her tree-ants, so he offers the hand of his daughter to the person that can slay Maleficent. Stefan drugs her and steals her wings and gets to be the king while Maleficent’s heart turns cold or something and gets a crow minion.

Stefan has a baby girl and Maleficent curses her and this scene is ALMOST verbatim to the original expect Maleficent puts the clauses in about True Love’s kiss awaking her as a slap-in-the-face to Stefan who claimed he had given Maleficent a true love’s kiss. Also the green fairy who was the blue fairy didn’t get to give Aurora a gift, though the gifts in this version are stupid. Also Maleficent says it’s a sleep like death when in the original Maleficent just said she will die, so…… anyway.

Stefan must be smoking copious crack because he entrusts the stupid fairies with raising the princess (I think there was line about the fairies being good with human but WTF why?). The fairies are so stupid that Aurora would have staved to death and fallen off a cliff if not for Maleficent who helps care for the child on the sly and pranks the fairies for jollies. Aurora gets in to her head that Maleficent is her fairy godmother, oh dear god movie, I can’t, I don’t even know but wrong movie there. Maleficent then tries to revoke the curse but can’t because of her wording about nothing be able to break the curse.

Aurora meets Prince Mcgaffin erm I mean Phillip and they have a little attraction which crow-boy hopes means is true love. Aurora for some reason (I wasn’t paying a lot of attention at this point), goes back to the castle a day before she was suppose to and falls in to the death-like sleep coma-nap. Maleficent bring Prince-i-boy to help with that pesky curse but he fails, (fail sound effect from the Price is Right), so Maleficent kisses her on the forehead and in Frozen fashion Aurora wakes up and then there is a dumb fight, Maleficent turns her pretty-boy crow into a dragon, pffffffttttttttttttttttttt and stupid happy ending and it turns out all that annoying narration was done by Aurora. Hate this movie.

Isobelle Molloy as Young Maleficent with Michael Higgins as Young Stefan

On the one small hand, I sort of appreciate what Maleficent was trying to do in theory but on the other larger hand this movie missed the point of everything and meanders into the realm of idiocity.

The first major problem is Maleficent herself. Maleficent in no way shape or form should be the same entity as the Good fairies and for the record why did they change their names from Flora, Fauna and Merriweather to Flittle, Knotgrass and Thistlewit? Really, I could do another full post on these useless pixels but I will refrain*.

To have Maleficent as good fairy at the start with a name like Maleficent which means evil is dumber than naming a character Knotgrass or Flittle or Thistlewit. They could have made Maleficent change her name to suit her evil persona but nope a child fairy who ages for no reason that the film gives is given the name which means Evil. I mean for Fuck sake movie, you give the origins of her staff but no mechanic for how or why she grows-up when nothing else in her realm does? F-U!

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent after her wings have been cut off

Another issue is that original movie called Maleficent the mistress of evil. Given this, she didn’t NEED reason to be evil, she just was and rather enjoyed it. Actually she did have a reason for why she cursed Aurora, she got snub an invitation to a baby shower, I would have done the same thing.

But you what REALLY pisses me the fuck off about all this movie? SO the film takes the stance that true love between two platonic ladies exists and is a strong bond a la Frozen which is great HOWEVER this lead you down the path that the film as feminist bent BUT Maleficent’s anger and hatred comes from a guy betraying her. She is literally a scorned woman, a man made her become evil. Why can’t she just be evil? Why can’t she just have been demonic entity whose got a sense of humanity from a pure girl, kind of a Sleeping beauty meets Hades/Persephone dynamic. This movie spouts the power of women but evil unintelligible king caused the Maleficent to be evil.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent

And that is another problem, Maleficent’s evilness is VERY infantile. Literally all she does besides the plot-curse is prank the fairies with rain magic and turns the Moors gloomy. If that is extent of her evil that means the curse on Aurora or the plot is very out-of-character for Maleficent. It’s like the movie took this awesome kick-ass bad guy but was afraid to make her evil because if she is evil than the audience wouldn’t like her but that was the point. Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of the Mistress of Evil and they sap all of her likable-evil and just watered her down to the point of delusions.

Elle Fanning as Aurora

Then we have Sleeping Beauty herself. One BIG criticism of the original is that Aurora gets very little screen-time and this movie was chance to give her more of a character but nope fuck that. One of the fairies, and who fucking cares which one it was, gave her the gift of being happy. This makes Aurora a smiling simpleton with no other sense of character. Really all she is happy, I think the original Aurora had more of a range of emotions and that is so sad.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent flying

But you know most modern movies have shit for characters because they more are all about being Bigger, Louder and having more teeth i.e technicals and CGs and you may ask how are they in Maleficent? OH dear god, do they suck, they suck much my friends. It’s like everything looked so fake and cheesy that it hurt, like I’m in pain just thinking about it.

But the REAL tragedy is that costumes which I need to distract me from a movie’s stupidity were not there, Maleficent’s costume were meh. Really, don’t recall anything, maybe Aurora wore blue and Maleficent had horn wraps.

Angelina Jolie as Maleficent with Baby Aurora

Maleficent could have been an interesting movie if the screenwriter had just kept certain things in play like Maleficent’s character and TURINING IN A FUCKING DRAGON! Really that they turned the Mistress of Evil into a Mischievous Nanny is insulting. I bet a re-imagining of Mary Poppins would have a more Maleficent like character than this movie. And WHO the FUCK gave the Money to get this shit storm a sequel? Know that I hate you whatever orderd a sequel.

* leave a comment if you want me to bash the fairy and maybe the other characters.

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03Apr 2015

Disney Live-Action Remakes

by jess

On March 31st it was announced that Disney is planning on making a Live-Action Mulan movie, Source. This adds to number of Live-ation remakes following Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo and I guess Maleficent is in the mix too.

Really we all know what they are doing, these movies are clear cash grabs on popular properties. Though why Dumbo I don’t know. I mean I loved Dumbo as a kid, I still do but it’s kinda of the odd one out. You would think Snow White or the Little Mermaid over Dumbo but whatever, I’m not a studio executive nor did they ask me my opinion, I mean the should have but whatever.

But the question I have to force myself to ask, will Hunchback get this treatment? I’m going on the offence here and say probably not as Disney likes to forget that movie existed though not as much as The Black Cauldron. However unlike The Black Cauldron, which could be awesome as a live-action movie, Hunchback did get a musical which is getting a TONS of praise and does have a fan base. So it COULD maybe happen, like 0.05% chance.

Personally for me, I would love a new movie version, bad or good. And Hunchback makes more sense than a Live-Action Dumbo movie that will be mostly CG anyway so the Live-action in a misnomer. But do you think would you like Disney Hunchback live-action movie and do you even want one?

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05Mar 2014

Descendants, new Disney Channel movie

by jess

Disney’s Descendants

Disney is going to release an original Disney Channel movie in 2015 called Descendants. Now an original Disney Channel should indicate that one should either stop reading or turned their brain off, I did neither and regretted it.

Descendants is about the children of the Disney characters going to a prep-school. Ben, the son of Belle and Beast who is set to take the throne, gives redemption to the villain’s children. These the villains children include Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent’s kids. This is the point where my brain collapse in on its self. Jafar, Cruella and Maleficent occupy the same time space. Jafar is from psudo-medieval Arabia, Cruella from 1960s London and Maleficent is from Renaissance Europe. I wrote a Fan-fiction when I was 9 with characters from different point in history and places and I deemed it too stupid but they made a movie on it.

Then there are the kid’s names. Maleficent’s daughter is Mal, Jafar’s kid is Jay, Cruella’s son is Carlos and The Evil Queen’s is, are you ready, it’s pretty stupid, it is Evvie. Why not just go their and Evilette or something.

This project has stupid written all over it.

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16Dec 2013

Disney sells Villains

by jess

Disney Villains

On the other side of the Disney branding spectrum, we have the darker and less well known line of products called the Villain line. Unlike the Princess Line which doesn’t feature heroines based on a “royal” title this line is said to encompass all the villains but really only focuses on a few. Those being; The Evil Queen from Snow White, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, The Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, Cruella from 101 Dalmatian, Captain Hook from Peter Pan, Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Jafar from Aladdin and recently Mother Gothel from Tangled. Other villains like Scar, Gaston, Dr.Facilier, Hades and the Cheshire Cat filter in on products occasionally. Though I would argue that the Cheshire Cat is not villain but a Chaotic Neutral.

Frollo Hunchback of Notre Dame Disney picture image

Judge Claude Frollo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

So here is the big question, Where is Frollo? He is considered to be one of the great Disney villains because of his complexity. As far as I can tell he might be hiding in the products like in the Disney Vile Villains Playing Cards or in the Disney Legendary Villains Personal Checks, I do know he was in the Disney’s Mix and Match Villains Book, I owned it as a child. But as far as him being an advertised villain, he is not and he doesn’t have many his own featured products.

Disney Villain Monopoly Box

But why isn’t Frollo a key villain in this line? Is it because Hunchback was super unpopular? Well that doesn’t help but it’s not like Hades was attach to a popular movie and was Pater Pan that popular that Hook gets a major spotlight? On the Disney Villain Monopoly there are three unknown Disney villains featured, Pete who was antagonist in the Micky Mouse universe, the Big Bad Wolf who was another antagonist from the older Disney shorts and Kaa from Jungle book who wasn’t even the major villain, Shere Khan holds that roles.

I don’t think it so much that Frollo is from an unpopular movie, I think it’s because as a villain he is not fun. Don’t get me wrong he’s a great villain, he just never revels in his evil schemes the same way the others do, in fact he’s thinks he the good pure one. So he is not the logical choice as the one of line’s front runners who love and enjoy their machinations. And if this is indeed the case, it doesn’t really bother me that Frollo isn’t prominent, he just not the funny goofy charming villain that this line seems to love. And that’s ok.

Vicious Villains – Disney Movie Art Poster

So what products does villain line offer? Well, in many ways it’s not very different from the Princess Line. It has with games like Monopoly, fashion dolls and makeup, lots of make-up. You can get make-up kits for Maleficent, Evil Queen, Ursula, and Cruella De Ville. It’s just aimed for older girls

And like the Princess line, the villains have their fair share of weird products like a Cruella stapler and yes even a Disney Villains Cupcake Kit.

In many ways the Villain line is just like the princess line except the products are black, red and purple instead pastels and pinks and it carter to older more jaded girls who are not quite ready Hot Topic.

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26Apr 2012

My Favorite Disney Character List

by jess

This Post is result of Why did Hunchback Fail? The Conclusion of the conclusion of the Disney Version post where I asked people to choose some random Disney movie and pick you favorite character, to see if other protagonists are listed more favorable than Quasimodo. Anyway here are mine (movies came from the list of movie people chose plus one)

Hunchback – Djali or Clopin

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Djali about to enjoy a feast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

Clopin Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

I don’t want to choose between them so I won’t. Both of these characters are fun and charming.

Aladdin – Carpet

Carpet Aladdin

Much like Djali and Clopin, carpet is fun and charming. Also carpet is smart, laid-back, loyal and handsome (as far a carpets go).

Beauty and the Beast – Lumiere

Lumiere Beauty and the Beast

I had a hard time choosing. I really enjoy Gaston and Le Fou but Lumiere is fun. I say he edges them out by a small margin though I’m not sure why, maybe I like over the top musical numbers.

The Lion King – Rafiki

Rafiki The Lion King

Another Fun character, both smart and silly. Plus I liked it when he hit Simba on the head.

The Emperor’s New Groove -Yzma

Yzma The Emperor’s New Groove

What’s not to love? She’s a great fun villain. Gotta Love Eartha Kit in this. I also love Kronk, they play off each other well but Yzma edges out because she just reveals her schemes.

Bambi – Friend Owl

Friend Owl Bambi

He’s grumpy and smart ^^ . I also like Flower, he’s adorable, soft-spoken, endearing and innocent that is until he gets Twitterpated.

The Sword in the Stone – Mad Madam Mim

Mad Madam Mim The Sword in the Stone

She’s too delightful and Mad, and despite her limited screen time she’s the best part of this movie, that duel was awesome.

Hercules – Hades

Hades Hercules

I really like Hades as a villain, he cool and calulating, and that makes him fun as Hades ^_~ (bad joke).

101 Dalmatians – PUPPIES!

Puppies 101 Dalmatians

Except for the “badun” (Jasper & Horace), I actually like all the characters, but I’m a dog person so I’m just going to say Puppies ^^ though as a kid Penny and Lucky were my favorites.

Sleeping Beauty – Maleficent

Maleficent Sleeping Beauty

She maybe not be a typical fun character but she is the one having fun being evil and I like that. Plus she’s super stylious.

Apparently I like the fun sidekicks and villains. Not a single protagonist. Perhaps Disney is better at creating villains and side-kicks. Maybe they try to hard to create likable protagoists that in the end they’re not really all that likable or interesting. Considering that people who responded didn’t list any protagonists either.

If you would like to list your Disney favorite characters from any Disney you want, please feel free, maybe you can defend the protagonists, I just ask that you please include the Hunchback.

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Tag Archives: Maleficent