Enchanted Tales Animation- So Bad that makes you Stupid

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Melody sings Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody sings

We have seen a lot of bad animation here on theHunchBlog. From the Disney sequel, to Jetlag, to even that episode of Madeline, we have seen some real examples of clunky, amateur animation but as far as awful, crapped-filled, poo animation goes, the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame takes the cake.

disappearing hinge Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Disappearing hinge, it also repeated twice

The animation is so bad but what makes it bad? I will tell you one thing, re-watching this while trying to pay extra close attention to the animation made my brain literally melt out of my eyes and ears. My still being alive is no doubt some sort a cruel miracle.

Melody dancing with the annoying is repeated at the beginning and end Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody dancing with the annoying is repeated at the beginning and end

Well the least offensive thing is the repeating animation. Repeating animation in it of itself isn’t the problem, many movies repeat animation, it’s money saving. The problem is the frequency and how blatant the repetitions are and this pile-of shit repeats animation like nobodies business.

Circle dance animation Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Circle dance animation

Those kids doing the circle dance is repeated back and forth, back and forth a total of 3 times in the first minute alone. Oh, it gets repeated more but 3 times in the first minute that is just insane and it wasn’t that great of animation to start, it’s just random people with their backs to camera kicking in a dance circle.

The background is being repeated endlessly Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

The background is being repeated endlessly

They also steamboat willy a lot.

Pierre is on and off the horse Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image picture image

Pierre is on and off the horse

At roughly the 5:10 mark, Pierre and Frollo are on horses trying to find Melody and they repeat animation from earlier of Pierre and Frollo saying “no” to each other. Problem is Pierre is clearly on the ground and not on the horse during the repeating animation. Such pain!

Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

is it day or night?

As if that was bad, the movie start off with huge night/day confusion. Frollo and Pierre at talking and it’s supposed to be night out I think because Frollo says “after dark” but it’s daylight in the scene. Then it’s night as Melody dances but at one point the scene shifts to the accursed Dingbats and it fucking daytime and then night again. Hey movie, ever hear the word, consistently? No? Didn’t think so. Argh this movie

Why are they made, the dialogue doesn't match Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Why are they mad, the dialogue doesn’t match

And then there is the lips sync. At point you kind of have to wonder, was this dubbed? Because it looks like it could have been. As at some points the animation doesn’t match the audio. Like for example the accordion is shown getting huffy but nothing is the dilouge would suggest reasons.

Melody's mouth is gone, This has not been altered, this native in the movie Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody’s mouth is gone, This has not been altered, this native in the movie

Even if the lip sync was originally for english Melody’s mouth disappearing for a frame is inexcusable because you might not have seen it but your brain did.

Melody's mouth looks weird here because it's moving oddly Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody’s mouth looks weird here because it’s moving oddly

Their mouths also jerk around like crazy here.

Random Mice Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Random Mice

Aside from just the overall crappiness of the execution with its repetitions and still frames and bad lip sync, the animation on the whole of the Enchanted Tales version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is down right insulting. It’s just down-right dumb looking and it make you dumber just looking at it. F-, 1/4 a star rating, 100 thumbs down.

Next Time – The Pacing, it also sucks!

Jean-Claude capturing Melody Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Jean-Claude capturing Melody

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Re-Read! Book 6 Chapters 5 & 6

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Book 6 Chapter 5, A Tear for a Drop of Water

Arguably this is one of the most important chapters in the novel. This is where Quasimodo is whipped for Frollo’s crime as well as Quasimodo own affiliation of being deaf and having a deaf judge. After he is whipped to the delight of the crowd, he is the exposed for more humiliation. The crowd is without pity as he begs for water. Esmeralda at the end gives him pity and water. This. chapter starts Quasimodo’s love for Esmeralda. As of this point Quasimodo has only loved Frollo and Frollo failed to give him compassion at this moment.

It is important to note that as Esmeralda is approaching him, he wished that he could blast her to dust. It’s not because she was pretty as some movie would have it, Quasimodo only loves Esmeralda because of water and the kindness.

It is even implied that because of Esmeralda’s kindness, Quasimodo’s soul awakens from dormancy as indicated by the tear he sheds.

This scene is pretty much in every movie is someway. The Disney version had Esmeralda cleaning Quasimodo from the food that was thrown at him and freeing him from the pillory. This chapter inspired one of the most beloved songs from a musical, Belle. Even Secret of the Hunchback has this chapter played out, Enchanted Tales did not.

Book 6 Chapter 6, End of the Story of the Cake

Very little happens in this chapter. After Esmeralda is done giving Quasimodo water, Sister Gudule yells and scares her. Then the son of one the women from The story of the Wheaton cake, eats the cake.

It’s short. I will give it that but it does ends Book 6 off well as the kid really did want that cake before and against his mother’s wishes he got what he wanted. Dare I say, little Eustsche got a little character arc.

Enchanted Tales Song Number 4; When your sad and lonely repeat animation

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Melody Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody

The last song of the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is weird and stupid.

Random People Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Random People

This song comes out no where and adds nothing to the story. It comes right after the crappy moral about pretty people don’t have to worry about looks and after the song the characters don’t register the song at all. This song is just filler to meet the company’s four song quota. The sad part this song is the most energetic and musically interesting.

Paganini a.k.a Melody's enchanted annoying violin Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Paganini a.k.a Melody’s enchanted annoying violin

I can’t really make out the lyrics of the what they are singing but it’s some like “Life will Life will alive” or something. The song is about positivity and stuff. It doesn’t really work with what is happening in the narrative, I mean why should Quasimodo or Melody be bummed now, they’re pretty. (Edit- Thanks to Hulu, they are actually saying “Life will arrive.”)

Sun and Clouds Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Sun and Clouds

Aside from the lyrics being unquestionably stupid, the visual are super stupid. Most of the visuals are just repeat animation from the first song and when they have no animation like people dancing or clouds they repeat it too. Really this song is better when you just listen it.

Random People Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Random People

Really the best part of this song is the musical orchestration. Not kidding it’s pretty ok. It has a fun Spanish vibe. This just has a stronger enegry than they rest and it a shame it was wasted and a filler song that didn’t add anything or was even acknowledge by the story of the character.

Melody sings Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody sings

With this song we have a good music and the rest is stupid.

Next Time – The Animation (gag)

Melody's mouth is gone, This has not been altered, this native in the movie Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody’s mouth is gone, This has not been altered, this native in the movie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Re-Read! Book 6 Chapters 2 & 3

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Book 6 Chapter 2, The Rat-Hole
Got love how this chapter starts out with interrupting or rather tell of of a switch in focus from Gringoire to Esmeralda. For the past 90 odd page it been off of Gringoire book why apologize now? This chapter gives us the back story of the Rat-Hole.  That is pretty much it, admit it, skimmed this chapter.

 

Book 6 Chapter 3, The Story of a Wheaton Cake
In this chapter we learn the backstory of Sister Gudule the recluse in the Rat-Hole. Gudule was once a prostitute who lost her beloved child when she was kidnapped by Gypsies. In this chapter who also get a little more on the origins of Quasimodo as he was switch with Gudule’s child.  This chapter is interesting since it done in two parts,  the story of Chantafleurie and then learning that Sister Gudule is Chantafleurie. Depsite being a long chapter (since I got back for a visit to a friend’s house my attention has been crap) it was an enjoyable chapter that further lays the groundwork for more fun tragedy later.

 

Enchanted Tales Song Number 3; When you’re hot water you get 3 degree burns

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Melody in her clutter cell Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody in her clutter cell

At last we come to the third song in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and this one I consider the worst of the lot. Let just call this one “When the Magic in your Heart” or Melody’s Jailhouse uptempo easy listening shit.

Melody with dancing things and a cute cat Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody with dancing things and a cute cat

This song is about being positive even when things look bad. The context for this song is Melody is in jail and sentenced to die the next day. The idea she would be positive and dancing around like a dummy just shows you have utterly vapid this movie is or she moved to the acceptance stage of death really quickly or she is just dumb. I think she’s just dumb.

Melody with her open jail window Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody with her open jail window

The visuals are just confusion and insulting. Melody has shown that she can create life, like an overpower sith lord. So in this song she is shown giving inanimate objects a life force, just want to interject there is a lot of clutter in this jail cell. Melody makes bricks, iron bars, a broom and various other things dance around. However it is made clear at the end of the song that the dancing objects were just her imagination. Does this mean that instrumentals are imaginary? No because they interact with other people or is this whole movie a fevered dream of some insane person? You see in not explaining Melody’s powers made me ask the first time I was subjected to this movie why she didn’t just escape out the window since the bars were prancing around. Hate!

Melody loves dancing hay Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody loves dancing hay

It not just the visuals that are awful the music and lyrics are abysmal, they make me want to cut my ears off. I have no critic on either points, they are that bad. Hate this.

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death

The long and short of it is, I hate this song. Nothing is good about it. It a terrible song with crappy writing and shitty confusing visuals. Prolonged exposure to this song can cause f the pituitary gland to shut down, do not watch it.

Next Time Stupid Song #4

Melody sings Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody sings

 

 

 

 

 

Project Re-Read! Book 6 Chapter 1

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Book 6, Chapter 1, An Impartial Glance at the Ancient Magistracy

After what seems like an eternity of pointless exposition at the beginning of this chapter we get to the point of this chapter, Quasimodo’s farce of a trial. Quasimodo’s judge, Master Florian Barbedienne, is deaf and what’s more he doesn’t want people to know about his ailment. So Master Florian just asks questions and pretends to hear the responses, which is all well and good except Quasimodo is also deaf.  It’s pretty silly  to have this exchange however it a bit sad too that the justice system is so messed up and this just the first messed up trail. However this chapter is a nice little satire of the justice system.

Enchanted Tales Song Number 2; Ring, it rhymes with Ding

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Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

The second song in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame might be least awful. It has its issues but of all the songs it’s the least that toys with your sanity.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

Let’s just call this song “The Bells all Ring.” It’s the love song of the movie as it sung by Melody and Quasimodo about love. This song comes out of no where, like whiplash. Quasimodo comments on her magic and BAM singing mice. That’s right, fucking singing mice, why? I have no earthly idea.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

The song uses bell imagery to show that they hear music when the see or are with each other. Two things, they took the bell imagery too far as they sing about alarms clocks and telephones. Even if this movie has no idea the time period it’s set in, it is made to look medieval, alarm clocks and telephones should not be mentioned. Second, the idea that they are in love and hear music is sweet or would be if they they had more than 2 minutes of interaction with each other.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

The music is cheesy but it’s cheesy song so it’s not so bad. There are some really nice bell sounds. The most cheesy it goes is the little twinkle sounds.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

The lyrics with exception of the alarm and the telephone are ok. They are a little repeated and the ding dong ding lines are dumb but there are some good one. Like “When I’m looking at you it’s so sublime, I can feel the bells within me chime.” Yeah the lyrics are cheesy but given the other songs this movie, it’s is like a masterwork although the lyrics are mostly dumb.

Random Mice Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Random Mice

Animation like the rest of the movie is bad. They repeat the mice choir and the lips sync is just cringe worthy.

Melody and Quasimodo with the random mice Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo with the random mice

Of all the songs, this is the only one that makes sense in a Hunchback movie. Sure, it’s a love song between Quasimodo and an Esmeralda-stand-in with bell imagery but fits in to the story. And it’s the only song that feels intentional and part of the narrative. Which is saying something as it comes out of nowhere.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

Saying it’s the least awful song is not saying a lot, it’s still a bad song. This song is also played over the credit so the movie thinks it’s the best too.

Next Time; Stupid Song Number Three

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Re-Read! Book 5 Chapters 1 & 2

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Book 5, Chapter 1, Abbas Beati Martini
In this chapter Frollo gets visitors. One is the King’s doctor and the other is hiding his identity. They debate and Frollo defends alchemy and says that the printing press will kill architecture. On the one hand, it’s an interesting chapter as it shows Frollo’s attitude in opposition to his peers and it sets up the next chapter but maybe it’s my mood, it’s not a favorite chapter of mine. It is interesting to see that medicine was treated with contempt “Medicine is the daughter of dreams” and alchemy was considered to be more scientific by Frollo.

Book 5, Chapter 2, The One Will Kill the Other
This chapter is self-indulgent and the opening paragraph admits it. Hugo once again stop the story but in this the case of this chapter it goes into the idea that Frollo brought up, that “the printing press will destroy the building.” To this chapter’s credit a few movies use this chapter as a very core theme. Basically what this chapter says is that architecture was the chief registrar of humanity. It showed advancement, it demonstrated philosophy and religion. Architecture celebrated ideas in it stones, it taught the masses. In cathedrals and church architecture it taught the bible to the people. Then the printing press came long and changed that. It was the latest technology and made words accessible and thus architecture’s place the cheif  human advancement was surpassed. For a chapter that stops the novel to give an essay about modernity and technoical advancement from an 1830’s perceptive on medieval technology, it’s quite interesting. But this chapter can be skip if you want to read the story. However I do recommend reading sometime.

Enchanted Tales Song Number 1; Dance to the Laziness

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Pierre with Can-Can dancers Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Pierre with Can-Can dancers

If you have ever wanted to bend  time so a minute feel like an eternity I have the song for you. Clocking in at what should be a mere one minute and four seconds, the opening song of the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame feels a thousand times longer because it’s a confused lazy mess.

Pierre in a Chocolate soufflé Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Pierre in a Chocolate soufflé

The Song doesn’t have a name as far as I can tell so I will call it, Dance to the Music but a more accurate title would be Confusing Anachronism Overdrive. Seriously what the fuck, it has no concept of anything.

18th Century guy and 1950's girl in a cafe in 1482 Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

18th Century guy and 1950’s girl at a cafe in 1482

The song is set to the Can-Can and has can-can dancers. Just so we are clear the Can-Can is from like 1830, contemporary with Victor Hugo not the setting of the book. There is also a boy who has modern dress for a second, a woman who looks like she from the 1950 sitting with a man from the 1700’s movies. I’m confused. They also reference soufflés and designer clothing’s. Cluster-fuck!

Guys looking at French Food Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Guys looking at French Food

They make dumb reference to thing that assaults your intelligence. One of the lyrics “The food is delicious, it’s pure gastronomy but don’t ask what you’re eating because it’s Paris mon ami.” I don’t even know. What does that mean? Are they trying to say the food in Paris has gross stuff in it? Is it a crack at frog’s leg?

Melody playing the Violin Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody playing the Violin

The song is also a cluster fuck of concepts. It has no idea what the song should be about. Is it about Paris? Gypsies? Stupid dancing? Or living your life? Relax, it’s everything.

Circle dance animation Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Circle dance animation

For a song that is a little over a minute is it impressively lazy. This song also rhymes rhythm with rhythm and repeats a lot of animation. And it’s not like they hide the repeat animation it’s super apparent. There is clip of boys and a circle dance that they repeat a lot and the use it after the song is over too.

Melody's Mother, Genevieve Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody’s Mother, Genevieve

I feel like this movie is trying its hardest to get you not to watch the movie. It tells you point blank to get up on your chair. It’s good advice because not only does this movie suck I feel stupider for having watched this song. If an opening is meant to draw you in, this repels. Save yourself! The sad thing is this isn’t even the worst song in this movie.

Next Time; Stupid Song Number Two.

Melody and Quasimodo Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Melody and Quasimodo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Re-Read! Book 4 Chapters 4-6

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Book 4, Chapter 4, The Dog and his Master
This chapter is about Quasimodo’s deep love for Frollo. Frollo is the only human that Quasimodo loves because Frollo is the one who sheltered Quasimodo, educated him and gave the bells to him. His love of Frollo stems from gratitude. It’s important to grasp that gratitude is what drives Quasimodo’s loyalty, not honor, not glory and not a sense duty. Quasimodo rewards tough who show him kind with unflinching loyalty that should those who Quasimodo has deemed worthy of his loyalty he would die for with a word. This gratitude and loyalty play a huge role later so it important to understand it so for such a little chapter it’s really important.

Book 4, Chapter 5, More about Claude Frollo
More stuff on Frollo. This chapter goes into Frollo’s preferences. Frollo loves his brother but is disappointed by him as well. He love science but really enjoys alchemy. You also learn that Frollo pretty much hates women because he is tempted by them. You also learn about Frollo’s secret cell. This chapter drives the the point that Frollo is a very passionate guy and maybe wasn’t meant for clergy life. He was meant to be educated but his passions are at odds with his choice profession which he did excel at but he moved beyond it.

Book 4, Chapter 6, Unpopularity
I love short chapters! This one is about how Quasimodo and Frollo are not much liked by people. People say mean things to them but Quasimodo and Frollo don’t care. Mainly because Quasimodo can’t hear the insult and Frollo isn’t paying attention. Originally this chapter was cut from the first edition and then added back but it a nice little chapter to end this part of the book on.