Quasimodo | The Hunchblog of Notre Dame

01Jul 2014

Enchanted Tales Side Character; Lesser Annoying Characters are still annoying

by jess

If you think the instruments are the only annoying characters in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame then I want whatever you are smoking because the super side characters are pretty bad too. Though naturally, not as bad as the instruments but they are bad enough for me to give them a blog post to torture my already faltering sanity.

Pierre

Pierre is Jean-Claude’s minion. Clearly his name comes from Gringoire’s name OR did they just pick the most generic French name in the world. Let’s just pretend that they DID take it from Gringoire’s name, it not that out there of a role choice. Gringoire was taught under Frollo, so I could see the relationship of him being a minion. Of all the characters, Pierre isn’t that annoying. He’s Jean-Claude minion but he’s good. He gets some fun banter with Jean-Claude and he gives exposition on Quasimodo’s backstory. If anything he worth being in the story.

The Dingbats

The Ding Bats are really annoying but less so than though instruments. All they do is make puns, laugh at their own puns, complain and open the door to Notre Dame. That’s right, the door to Notre Dame is controlled by bats in the belfry. Whaaaaaaa? How do they do that? Hey Movie! Explain it to me movie? Are the part of Notre Dame? Do they have telekinesis? I’m not sure why I’m searching for answer in a movie that has a Violin bow that can’t talk but the violin can and the tambourine wears glasses. At least the Ding Bats are contained to Notre Dame, they don’t follow the main characters around. Small doses.

Melody’s Mother, Genevieve

Melody’s Mother, Genevieve, is another character that isn’t in the movie that much but annoys me. She is a bit like Melody where nothing seems to ever bother her. She gets taken prisoner and put in a barn and she sings and dances with the animals. The idea is that her and Melody are so sickeningly positive that they just smile and think sunny thoughts. My inner emo is glaring at them. Genevieve also has a donkey named Francois.

The Baron

The Baron, god dear lord, the Baron. The Baron is Jean-Claude’s father and Quasimodo’s step father. He eats a lot, that’s it. He is a fat ass that is all he does. He is a waste the paper and pigment that makes up his lame existent in this crappy children movie for kids who are on the verge of a nap.

Next Time – Stupid Song Number one

Can-Can Dancers

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30Jun 2014

Project Re-Read! Book 4 Chapters 1-3

by jess

Book 4, Chapter 1, Kind Souls

The name of this chapter is clear sarcasm. It starts with the back story of Quasimodo on the founding bed at Notre Dame on Quasimodo Sunday. A few movies start with this chapter. It’s basically a bunch of old ladies staring in horror at little Quasimodo. Quasimodo is in a bag with only his head poking through the top and the Bishop of Parisâ€˜ name on the bag. Which is a little silly to picture but sad too. These women are just mean. They call Quasimodo a monkey a monster, a demon etc. Fleur de Lys and her mother are introduced as well but with the names of the other women you might not think too much of it. At the end, Frollo takes Quasimodo and the women call him a wizard. It’s interesting to note that the book clearly says the year is 1467, 16 years before the start of the book proper. Fleur de Lys is six and Quasimodo is not a newborn baby. The book gives some indication that he was 4 years old when Frollo adopted him later on. It’s a great chapter as you get a sense that Quasimodo for his look has been treated with malcontent his whole life and these women are like nuns.

Book 4, Chapter 2, Claude Frollo

This chapter give us backstory on Frollo and what compelled him to adopted little Quasimodo. From this chapter we learn that Frollo is pretty nobility and has a meager holding. From a young age he was study to be in the clergy. Frollo was very passionate about studying and was giving honors at very young. The 1997 got his passion for learning right. However a plague took his parents and left him a baby brother. He was so moved with love for the child which is a feeling he never felt before. This love for little Jehan is what moved him take on Quasimodo, for if anything happen to him, Jehan would be at the mercy of the founding bed. Got say this is a really interesting chapter not only do we get Frollo’s backstory but because you see how passionate this guy is and how that passion got twisted and corrupted to lust. His is an all-consuming personality.

Book 4, Chapter 3, Immanis Pecoris Custos, Immanior Ipse

The title for this chapter means The Guardian of a monstrous herd, and himself more monstrous. This chapter is really fascinating as its goes deep into Quasimodo’s inner most workings and his relationship to Notre Dame. This is the chapter that creators of the Disney version site for the reason behind the gargoyles but it goes more into Quasimodo and the his devotion and passions for bells so mute point creators reference that one paragraph. I like how the book makes it clear that Quasimodo never had any desire to leave the church, it was everything to him and he was in turn the soul of Notre Dame. Also I really like the part about how Quasimodo’s twists and distorts information and how the malcontent to met with his whole life made him mischievous.

16Jun 2014

Project Re-Read! Book 2 Chapters 3-7

by jess

Got Five Chapters Today!

Book 2, Chapter 3, Besos Para Golpes
The title of this chapter means â€˜A Kiss brings Pain‘ in Spanish. Quite a lot happens in this chapter. Gringoire having reached The Place de GrÃ¨ve to warm himself from the bonfire sees Esmeralda for the first time and is smitten. He also sees Frollo, or the a bald man staring. Sister Gudule yells at Esmeralda and Frollo stops Quasimodo’s reign as the Pope of Fools. I really enjoy this chapter because it the first time in the book you get a sense for the personalities of characters other than Gringoire.

Book 2, Chapter 4, The Inconveniences of Following a Pretty Woman in the Street at Night
This chapter set our plot in motion. It starts with our pal Gringoire following Esmeralda home. As he’s following her, Frollo and Quasimodo try to kidnap her. Gringoire calls for help and Phoebus saves Esmeralda and arrests Quasimodo. Because of these events it’s an important chapter. However it plays out in a humorous way. Gringoire delights in stalking Esmeralda while she is a little more than annoyed. The Kidnap itself makes up a brief part of the end and it still sort of funny. I do like that Quasimodo’s weapon, ugliness, is proven useless in the dark. I don’t like him being liken to a bat, bats are awesome and a symbol of good luck, minor point. All in all I enjoyed this chapter.

Book 2, Chapter 5, The Continuation of the Inconveniences
In the previous chapter, Quasimodo throws Gringoire into the gutter and this is the aftermath of it. Gringoire tries to think about Quasimodo’s companion and he thinks of Frollo but is really certain why he thinks of him. He is then almost burned under a mattress by some punk-ass kids called gamin, which means street urchin. You know Street Urchin does not refer to the little friends from the sea which I ate once a sushi place and didn’t care but rather it comes from the old French for Hedgehog. Ok, getting back on track this chapter is ok. It severed to link the other man to Frollo. Otherwise it get us from the Kidnaping to the next event. Most movies omit this scene.

Book 2, Chapter 6, The Broken Pitcher
Whew, Long Chapter (though not the longest). This where our pal Gringoire gets into a real pickle! After running from the gamins, he gets lost and when he relieves that mattress was what he’s been looking (either sleep or warmth) he gets more lost and runs into vagrants and stumbles into the Court of Miracles, which is a bar of sorts. The Court of Miracles itself was a French term which referred to slum districts of Paris, France where the unemployed migrants from rural areas resided. Gringoire meets the ruler, Clopin and is sentence to Gringoire to hang. Gringoire is given a chance by stealing from the bellboy (a dummy with bells on him) while standing on a stool on one leg. He fails, this task was meant to be fail. Then he offered to the ladies. In the end, Esmeralda saves him and the two are married for 4 years. This chapter is very humorous since you take delight in Gringoire’s pain. You know Clopin is having a jolly time jerking this guy around and either hanging or wedding, Gringoire did provide entertainment.

Book 2, Chapter 7, A Wedding Night
Grinoire is taken to Esmeralda’s place where Gringoire learns she is not interested in him as a lover. They pretty much settle on friends. Gringoire and Esmeralda BFF! We get some minor backstory for Esmeralda like she know nothing like Jon Snow (Sorry I’ve been reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series). Though we find out she been in Paris for only a few month, she said since last August and the novel starts in January. Speaking this chapter, it ends the events of January 6th 1482. We also see her amulet for the first time. For all the gaps in Esmeralda’s backstory, Gringoire makes up for it with his long backstory about his failed vocations and how awesome Frollo is. This is a nice chapter as we finally get insights into Esmeralda’s character. I like the interplay between Gringoire and Esmeralda. It kind of a shame there is not more or it in the book.

11Jun 2014

Top Ten Best Things about The Disney version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame

by jess

Being forced to watch very, very bad versions of Hunchback makes me more grateful to the Disney version. The Disney version is not perfect but they did at least put out a solid effort into their version and made a good movie. You can’t really say that for the Enchanted tales version. So I thought I would list of what I consider to be the Top Ten Best Things about The Disney version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Clopin with Puppet Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

10. Clopin
Clopin is just such a fun and interesting character. He kinds neither good or bad. I guess he more of a light gray. I wish he was in more of the movie.

Esmeralda Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame singing "God Help the Outcast" picture image

Esmeralda singing “God Help the Outcast” Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

9. Animation
Gorgeous Animation is a Disney hallmark and the Hunchback is no exception. There are some gorgeous shots. Though the CG crowds didn’t age well but you seldom really notice them unless you’re looking.

Esmeralda and Quasimodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Esmeralda and Quaismodo Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

8.The Pacing
The pacing is great in this movie. There are no low points and the story moves from point to point really well.

Esmeralda singing God Help the Outcast Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

7. Accuracy to Notre Dame
The way they rendered the Cathedral is lovely and you can see all the effort that went in to it. I mean they did make it larger but they did capture its Beauty and it intricate little details. They might have been to accurate since they included elements that were not present at the time of the story but that is a nitpick that you would have to be aware of.

Clopin Topsy Turvy Disney Hunchback Notre Dame

6. The Songs
With one exception, you know the one, the songs are really great. Some are better than others but on the whole they are great.

Frollo and Notre Dame Bells Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo stares at Notre Dame during the Bells of Notre Dame FDisney Hunchback of Notre Dame

5. The Music Score
The Score was inspired by Mozart’s Requiem Mass and it really is gorgeous especially Sanctuary. It really one the best Disney scores ever.

Frollo and Baby Quasimodo bells Disney Hunch back of Notre Dame picture image

Frollo and Baby Quasimodo during the Bells of Notre Dame Disney Hunch back of Notre Dame

4. Frollo
Frollo is one of the most complex Disney Villains. On one hand he is cool and cruel and the other he’s bat-shit crazy but he thinks he’s good and just even when trying to kill a baby he thinks he is in the right.

Frollo singing Hellfire Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

3. Hellfire/Heaven’s Light

This is kind of like A Night on Bald Mountain/Ave Maria in reverse. A Lot of the drama comes from the duality of the Heaven and Hell. Though you would get little argument that Hellfire is the better song in both the visuals and the lyrics. It so dark and twisted but Heaven’s Light just elevates Hellfire crazed hellish tone. It’s kind ironic that Frollo is praying to Mary in this song.

A Puppet of Quasimodo bells Disney Hunchback of notre dame picture image

A Puppet of Quasimodo during the Bells of Notre Dame Disney Hunchback of notre dame

2. The Opening
The Opening is amazing. In 5 minutes we get some drama, some humor and all the backstory. The song and the visuals are wonderful. I like how dark this gets and there is no denying that crescendo at the end. Flawless

Quaismodo Bells of Notre dame reprise Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

1. It introduced people to The Hunchback of Notre
While of course this is not true for everyone, The Disney version did introduced people to the characters and the ideas of the novel. Without it people may not be fans of original story today.

Honorable mention Djali

I love Djali to pieces

Djali Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame

10Jun 2014

Enchanted Tales; Quasimodo the Handsome Emo

by jess

Quasimodo

It’s ironic that the ONLY character is this poo-fest to keep their original name is so far removed from the original intent of the character that it is downright insulting.

I mean is the story so fucking complicated that no one can really get it right or do people just not care? I mean who said Quasimodo should be handsome, did they read the story or did you think that their creativity made them above at least getting the basics right? I hate the Enchanted Tales version of Hunchback AHHHHHHHHHHH

(Inhales)

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

Ok, let start with SOME positives. Quasimodo is not the focal character. That’s actually something. In the book, you never follow Quasimodo the same as Esmeralda, Frollo or even Gringoire but because he is the titular character he gets to be a focal point.

Quasimodo also gets a back story and while it’s stupid at least it something. In the novel it was hinted that he could be a Gypsy so here it’s a nice micro call out.

Quasimodo with the Ding-Bats

However, despite having a backstory. it ruins some points of Quasimodo, First off, he and the Frollo character, Jean-Claude, are half-brothers and that doesn’t bother me so much, it bothers me that Quasimodo is older. Quasimodo is older then his father-figure-like character. It just seems wrong. I’m surprised they didn’t go with step-brother angle, more cliches!

However the biggest F.U. with the backstory is that Quasimodo was not born deformed and get got his hunch from working too much. Although later it’s revealed that his hunch was the result of sadness. Enchanted Tales hates the original hunchback story right? That is the only way to process this shit. He has a curvature of the spine because he’s Emo. (Facepalm)

Quasimodo bells to Melody

Quasimodo in this has next to no personality, so he’s perfect for his little chicky-poo Melody. I mean he yells at one point but then retracts it with a derpy love song. Also in that scene Quasimodo wants Melody to leave but then give her bells. He made a gift for her that he never really intended to give her, Creepy!

Handsome Quasimodo Enchanted tales The Hunchback of Notre Dame picture image

Handsome Quasimodo a.k.a Wholemodo?

I could take his no personality and him being older than a half-brother Frollo if they at least kept the fundamentals. His “deformities” or rather his icky looks were just him with bad posture and unkempt hair because he was sad. That was it? Not hideous.

Hmm I guess you could he is a bit of drama queen. And sure he rings bells at a place called Notre Dame but his being a handsome beefy guy that with a better animation budget would look like a Disney Prince is just unforgivable.

Melody and a “handome” Quasimodo

Then to add the worst insult the fucking movie tells us the viewer that looks don’t matter. If looks don’ matter then why bother making Quasimodo handsome in the first place? It’s such a terrible way to present that moral because it’s saying look that don’t matter if you’re considered conventional attractive ARGH.

Melody and Quasimodo getting married

Who wrote this? A handsome Quasimodo who then totes that looks are not important should not be getting paid to write especially for young kids/babysitter fodder.

Next time – Jean-Cluade a.k.a Not Frollo

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude

09Jun 2014

Project Re-Read! Book 1 Chapters 5-6 to Book 2 Chapters 1-2

by jess

Book 1, Chapter 5, Quasimodo

The contest for the Pope of Fools begins and ends in this chapter. We are treated to a very detailed description of to what Hugo’s Quasimodo looks like. The men reveal in Quasimodo’s ugliness and the women fears it. One women even claims that Quasimodo practices witchcraft. I feel like this chapter finally starts the story going. It also shows off Quasimodo’s impressive collection of nicknames.

Book 1, Chapter 6, Esmeralda

While the Pop of Fools contest goes one, Grigoire and his actor continue on with their play as a few people are still sort of listening. The final nail in the play’s coffin comes when someone says that Esmeralda has entered the square. This chapter is interesting because in the last paragraph we get two references to the Virgin Mary. So even before we meet Esmeralda, she already aligned to the Virgin.

Book 2, Chapter 1, From Charybdis to Scylla

Between Scylla and Charybdis is an Idiom that comes out of Greek Mythology that means ” having to choose between two evils.” It’s like “between a rock and a hard place.” Charybdis and Scylla are both sea monsters.

Now that Gringoire’s play is dead, he finds himself in a pickle. He’s broke so he can’t return to his lodging as he own them money and he can’t seem to find a quiet place to sleep because of the feast. In the end Gringoire says “Fuck it” and heads over to the The Place de GrÃ¨ve because it you can’t beat them join them. I liked this chapter, I know hoe Gringoire feels here. I feel your pain Pierre.

Book 2, Chapter 2, The Place de GrÃ¨ve

This Chapter describes The Place de GrÃ¨ve it also foreshadows the pillory and the giblet. It’s a short chapter filled with description but not wholly dull just a little.

03Jun 2014

Enchanted Tales – Melody; Mother of Annoying Torments

by jess

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

The main focal character in the Enchanted Tales Version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame is Melody, our Esmeralda character.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody

But why did they call her Melody? It’s not like Esmeralda’s personality isn’t repeatedly altered movie after movie that by changing the name they made a new character, it’s Esmeralda. So they gave her instruments instead of a goat, she is still the beautiful dancing Gypsy girl who captures Quasimodo’s heart.

My guess is that the creators thought Disney made-up the name Esmeralda for their movie because clearly no one on Enchanted Tales read the book and thought they would be sued.

Also, why Melody as the name choice? Everyone else has a French name, even her mother and the freaking donkey gets a French names but Melody doesn’t.

Melody & Quasimodo

As for Melody’s look, not being Esmeralda, is not sexualized. She has brown hair and blue eyes. She has a tan skin tone and just to make her more pretty she has a beauty mark under her eye (eye-roll). She also doesn’t wear any red but wears yellow. Esmeralda did wear a golden corset once in the novel so one thing right about her overall look.

Oh wait fuck that, she’s not Esmeralda she’s Melody. I take back my almost positive comment.

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda in Jail awaiting death

Melody gets the most screen time, so we must get an idea for her personality. Well, her mother did call her wild and free. I didn’t see that but I didn’t see anything against that. Melody kinda just does what she wants. Melody doesn’t let much bother either. She leaves Notre Dame and walks knowingly into a trap and is not phased. She gets thrown into jail and she doesn’t care the much, in fact she sings a stupid happy song. She is about to be executed and she yawns. She finds dying boring.

I think this mostly bad writing than character development. Otherwise she is just nice but fairly selectively, she not nice to Jean-Claude but he’s a douche. But more over she is just boring. Boring maybe a new facet for an Esmeralda-character but it’s a not a good thing.

Melody and her team of annoying instruments

Melody, unlike Esmeralda, has some kind of magic power. This power is the ability to bring musical instruments to life. This power is not explained and results in annoying-ness. This is her biggest flaw, it wasn’t for her those hell spawn of animation garbage wouldn’t have been in this. Those instruments make the gargoyles in the Disney version look charming. And if Melody had been executed perhaps they would have died with her.

I really hated those instruments and she is responsible for their creation so she is the worst Esmeralda ever.

Next Time Quasimodo

Quasimodo,

27May 2014

The Enchanted Tales Plot Review; It Sucks

by jess

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

Where do you start critiquing The Enchanted Tales version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Everything is wrong with this adaptation. They got nothing right, even most of the names are wrong. I may complain about every other version but at least they got the basics right, Enchanted tales can’t even do that much.

Melody and her team of annoying instruments

Well they got the basic basics, we have a guy who sports a hunch who rings the bells at Notre Dame and likes a Gypsy girl who dances. That’s it!

Now we have a Gypsy who is in fact some sort a sorceress as she makes instruments come to life with annoying personalities. That is the most niche super power ever, but instead of Esmeralda her name is Melody and she being pursued by a rich egomaniac named Jean-Claude.

Melody with “Handsome” Quasimodo

The name changes and annoying instruments are the least the problems; Quasimodo isn’t deformed, he’s handsome. He has hunch because he was sad and had low-esteem. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong a thousand times wrong. Then to add to to this cacophony of ass-ness they tell children that looks don’t matter if people think you’re attractive. Looks don’t matter if you’re pretty. I suppose personality don’t matter either since Quasimodo does not have one. So we have terrible moral to boot.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody again

The main issue with the Enchanted Tales version is despite calling it The Hunchback of Notre Dame, this adaptation plays out and feels like a Beauty and the Beast knock-off. The power of love pretty much changes Quasimodo’s appearance which Melody claims to have accepted when he was ugly. That or that swing did wonders for his hair. Seriously his hair gets pushed back and instant Disney Prince. Also Jean-Claude looks exactly like Gaston and we have enchanted objects that dance around.

Melody and a “handome” Quasimodo

It’s like the creators on Enchanted Tales were told that Disney is making The Hunchback of Notre Dame, they were told the bare basics of the original story and decided that it’s close enough to Beauty and the Beast and ran with that to make a half-assed stupidly annoying tale with the worst moral EVER!

Next Time – Melody a.k.a Not-Esmeralda

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

20May 2014

Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame Plot; This one smells bad

by jess

Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame

To understand why the Enchanted Tales; Hunchback of Notre Dame version is bad, you have to know that everything is bad. Nothing is good but the plot is the most unforgivable piece of shit of any of the Hunchback versions.

This is the real plot, someone got paid to write this.

Not Frollo/Phoebus a.k.a Jean-Claude

The movie opens with a crappy song and dance that demonstrates that the creators of the movie have no clue on what time period this is supposed to be. Paris is run by the gluttonous Baron and his son Captain Jean-Claude. Jean-Clause is the enforcer. He has forbidden dancing and singing forbidden in Paris because of tax reasons. Magic is also forbidden. Pierre, Jean-Claude’s minion, sees a Gypsy who instruments come to life. Jean-Claude decides to stop her.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody

Then we meet Not-Esmeralda a.k.a Melody and her posse of annoying instruments. In a tree, watching her dance is Quasimodo, the Hunchback. Jean-Claude, Pierre and the Baron enter scene. People run in terror as Jean-Claude is a douche. He sentences Melody to 324 years of jail time but also offers her dinner with him. Melody rejects his offer. Jean-Claude then threatens her with Guillotine. Quasimodo rushes in to help her. People fall down and in the confusion Melody, her mother, their donkey and stupid instruments rush off. Side note the instruments have names but I don’t care.

Melody flees with the dumb instruments

Melody and crew make it back to their Gyspy camp where they discuss that people don’t like them because they are different. But Jean-Claude finds them and Melody and crew hightail it to Notre Dame.

Jean-Claude, with Melody’s mother and donkey

Apparently the bats, a.k.a the DingBats (who are also annoying) control the doors to Notre Dame and allow Melody and the instruments in but not Pierre and Jean-Claude. Jean-Claude then spots Melody’s mom and donkey and kidnaps them.

Pierre tells Melody’s mom about Quasimodo. About how he is Jean-Claude’s half brother by their mother. Their Mother was married to a Gypsy man and had Quasimodo but then she marries the fat-ass Baron and had Jean-Claude. The Baron worked Quasimodo hard and then banished him to the Bell Tower of Notre Dame. Pierre also says that Quasimodo got his hump by working too hard.

Melody & Quasimodo

Inside Notre Dame, Melody and stupid instruments are welcomed by the Dingbats who can talk to her in the sanctuary while they are in the Bell Tower. She hears the bells and wants to meet the one who rings them. She and the lame instruments go up to tower and meet Quasimodo.

Quasimodo is shy is and standoff. He says he is ugly but Melody says that we all look different and looks don’t matter she adds that she is fond of his music and fond of his looks. Quasimodo presents her with some stupid bells because she pretty (so much for looks not mattering). In her hands the bells start laughing insipidly and Quasimodo remarks on her magic. And Bam they are in love with a dumb song.

Jean-Claude capturing Melody

When the song is done Melody sees her Mother’s donkey. The donkey tells her Jean-Claude took her mother and she and instruments leave the safety of Notre Dame to save her. They find her in barn laughing and dancing. But they get caught and Melody is taken by Jean-Claude.

Melody, in Jail awaiting death

Jean-Claude throws Melody into a jail cell and tells her that she is be executed tomorrow when the bell rings at dawn. The bells that Quasimodo gave her escape and tells the other instruments and Melody’s mom about the execution. They decide that they must stop Quasimodo from ringing the bells.

Jean-Claude putting the moves on Melody again

The instruments rush up Notre Dame as people gather to Melody’s execution. Jean-Claude offers Melody to save herself if she renounces her Gypsy ways and has dinner with him. Melody tells him she can’t change who she is. The instruments stop Quasimodo from ringing the bells.

Quasimodo swings down and saves Melody. Melody then sees that Quasimodo is actually hot. Quasimodo says if that is how Melody sees him then he must be handsome and that looks don’t matter. The moral of this shit feast is that looks don’t matter if you’re hot…and low self-esteem makes you unattractive…….. gah. The movie then interrupts itself for a song.

Melody and Quasimodo getting married

Now that Quasimodo has some self esteem he tells off Jean-Claude which causes the people to revolt against Jean-Claude. Quasimodo and Melody then get marry at Notre Dame. The End

Next Time, More on the Plot

Melody, a.k.a Not Esmeralda, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

13May 2014

Enchanted Tales: The Hunchback of Notre Dame; this is going to hurt

by jess

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

I ran a poll for what terrible version I should review next. The two options were Secret of the Hunchback and the Enchanted tales version. Enchanted Tales: The Hunchback of Notre Dame won in the end. Say what you want about the Secret of the Hunchback at least it is a hunchback story, Enchanted Tales claims to be one but it’s not.

It has very very very little to do with hunchback story. I mean there is a hunchback named Quasimodo in it and he rings bells at Notre Dame and there is a Gypsy girl that he saves. But it’s vastly different in so many bad grave spinning ways. This movie is 40 minutes of torture and hell. So let’s start this descent into madness

The plot or something like it

Melody & Quasimodo, Enchanted Tales, Hunchback of Notre Dame

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Tag Archives: Quasimodo

Enchanted Tales Side Character; Lesser Annoying Characters are still annoying

Project Re-Read! Book 4 Chapters 1-3

Project Re-Read! Book 2 Chapters 3-7

Top Ten Best Things about The Disney version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Enchanted Tales; Quasimodo the Handsome Emo

Project Re-Read! Book 1 Chapters 5-6 to Book 2 Chapters 1-2

Enchanted Tales – Melody; Mother of Annoying Torments

The Enchanted Tales Plot Review; It Sucks

Enchanted Tales Hunchback of Notre Dame Plot; This one smells bad

Enchanted Tales: The Hunchback of Notre Dame; this is going to hurt

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