Tag Archives: The Singing Princess

19Mar 2015

The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies

by jess

The Top Ten Worst Non-Disney Princess Movies (that were reviewed.)

In someways this was harder than the Disney sequel worst list because on the whole, I found these movies far worst, like so much worst. Most of these movies were PAINFUL to sit through.

Number #10

Princess Camille, Flip, Nemo, Icarus, and Professor Genius

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland – At best you can say Little Nemo is average, at worst it’s an insipid annoying movie with bland characters, awkward animation and ditzy dialogue. It could have been so much more. Though it was all about pie and pies are yummy and mathematical.

Number #9

Daria and Rollo

The Princess and the Pea – While I do admit to being charmed by this movie and enjoying it a bit, it still doesn’t change that it was dumb. The main character is hardly in it at cost of a side characters and a pea that turned out not to mean anything.

Number #8

Felix, Oriana, and Pim

Felix the Cat; The Movie – This is just a WEIRD movie. Should it lose points for being weird? No, I like weird but it’s also annoyingly stupid and the sound mixing made this movie so much worse.

Number #7

Princess Glory and Prince David

Gulliver’s Travels – One word, Gabby. Gabby is still one of the single most annoying thing I have ever seen. Also the animation was jarring.

Number #6

Princess Yum-Yum and Tack

The Thief And The Cobbler – This should be lower on the list but you know what saves it? Richard Williams’ original animation. Otherwise it’s a just a train wreck. The filler animation is beyond haphazard, the songs make your ears bleed, and the characters are so weak they can’t lift a golf pencil.

Number #5

Tuptim

The King and I – This movie single-handedly made it so that the Roger and Hammerstein estate have a no-animated movie policy. Good job movie, your’s is a lameness unmatched.

Number #4

Gorbash, Peter Dickinson and Princess Milisande

The Flight Of Dragons – While I do concede there was an interesting idea in this movie, it is F-ing beyond bad and boring. So many things are explained in way too much detail but more is not explain at all. How is that chick a princess? I always come back to this one as one of the worst and it’s really hard to believe there are three worst than this but there are.

Number #3

Snow White and her Prince

Happily Ever After – Avoid movies with the words Happily and After in the them, your life will be greatly improved. This is one of the most annoying movies ever. The main characters are an after-thought for the side characters who make you want to lobotomize yourself with a rusty spoon. Though writing the review for it was fun mainly because this movie is so dumb, I mean they named the bad guy Maliss. Why not just name him SeÃ±or Bad-Man? Wait, that might be too clever.

Number #2

Zelia and Amin

The Singing Princess– I debated a lot whether to put this at number one because not only was this an awful movie but the racism made really me really uncomfortable, of course the King and I was somewhat racist too but this was far less entertaining. The reason it’s not Number 1 is because I had two positives instead of none which were Julie Andrews and some nice backgrounds. And yes, the animation was terrible but it was Italy’s first animated movie so it’s a touch more forgivable. I still hate it a lot though, like a lot.

Number #1

Ella and Step-Mother Frieda

Happily N’Ever After– This movie has no excuse for being bad. It wasn’t the first anything, it was a massive immature cash grab. It was an ugly uninspired anus of movie that only positives was that Bender’s was a voice in it and I don’t think John DiMaggio was trying, I mean why would he? Quite literary I hated everything about this movie.

If the life of an unfamiliar puppy was on the line and I had to either watch Happily N’Ever After or Milo’s Return to save it, I think I would pick Milo’s Return but if were my life I would pick the sweet embrace of the grim reaper but since it’s a puppy I’d pick THE DISNEY SEQUAL OVER THIS SHIT, because it’s shorter and the lava dog was cute.

Next Time the Best, which was also hard to compile.

10Jul 2014

The Singing Princess; Not lying, this movie gave me a minor panic attack.

by jess

The Singing Princess

The Singing Princess is a movie that was made in 1949. It was the first full length Italian animated movie. Its original name was La Rosa di Baghdad, The Rose of Baghdad. It was Julie Andrews’ first role. When I watch any movie, I try to keep a healthy level of open-mindness. I seldom go into a movie thinking I will hate it and even if I hate a movie, I can find something I like about it like the costumes or something.

That being said, I loathed The Singing Princess. I saw the English version but I somehow doubt it’s better in Italian.

Zelia and Amin

Because I really dislike this movie I will keep the plot summery minimal. So Zelia is a princess who sings a lot. Her uncle, the ruler, wants her to get married and Jafar wants to marry her. He makes sure he is the only one in contention for her hand by having the emissary stopped.

The minsters tell him that he must make Zeila love him so Jafar’s evil minion gives him an enchanted ring that will make Zeila love him with powers of Satan. Zeila’s music teacher, or minstrel or something, Amin, overhears this plan and has his magpie, Calina, to steal the ring. Then Amin gets kidnaped by the minion. The minion takes him to a mountain hideout that can only be accessed by flying and he curses Amin so that no one can recognize him. Amin’s magpie tries to save him but is killed. In the fight the minion gets the evil love ring back. The ministers hear that Amin is missing and they go to find him but they get turned into babies by a fountain of youth.

Amin then escapes and sees Zeila wearing the ring and is in love with Jafar and is pretty bummed. Amin is then given a lamp with Genie in it and he defeats the minion, undoes his evil magic, kills Jafar, gets engaged to Zeila and his bird comes back to life. Monotone Yay.

Zelia and Jafar

Let me just start with two positives. There are a few backgrounds that are nice and Julie Andrews has a pretty voice. That’s is it, otherwise it’s awful.

Amin

The animation is terrible. Is it fair to call it bad because it old? No, it’s bad animation and lazy. They reverse Amin landing in the river to show him getting out. You don’t jump in reverse to climb out of a river, jerks. The colors are all flat and dull and the characters have soul-less dead eyes. The lip sync is awful too and the song are utterly forgettable.

The old dumb ministers

The characters all suck too in both design and personality. Amin is nice but annoying because he is vapidly nice. The Ministers are useless twits. Zeila just sings, she is does nothing else except look pretty. Calina the magpie is fine but she does little really and her song is stupid. Jafar is like like the Jafar in the Thief of Baghad which is the same as Jafar in Disney’s Aladdin. Does Jafar mean creepy old guy who wants to marry young pretty girl for power in Arabic? Actually, according to Behind the Name it means stream.

So no character is compelling. And the minion named Vork according to the subtitles is just unabashed evil, he says satan 4 times. Though he is loyal to Jafar. Why? Fuck, if I know that would have given the story substance.

Amin “cursed”

This movie has racial connotations as Amin is transformed into looking black as a I think as curse by the evil minion. Also the bad character just darker in color in general. I feel am not equip to discuss it and I don’t think I have the where-with-all to discuss it but it did make me feel very uncomfortable. But it’s worth mentioning.

I don’t recommend this movie at all. It’s not bad in a charming way and there is nothing redeemable about it.

There are two reasons to watch this, you like animation history or Julie Andrews. That is it. And just want to say This film is VILE and unpleasant. I feel terrible for having even watched it.

Really, I would rather want the 1939 version of Gulliver’s Travel or Hunchback Enchanted Tales over this. Can I go back to reviewing the Disney sequels please?